Funny/Strange News Stories

[gnomefromnome]

https://www.alaskasnewssource.com/2020/12/12/chicken-president-of-the-alaska-zoo-passes-away/

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (KTUU) - It is a sad week at the Alaska Zoo. On Tuesday, Squishy the hen, the president of the animals at the Alaska Zoo passed away at the age of 10.

It is politics, so Squishy’s successor will be those same chickens on her ticket: Ginger, Skittles, Lavender and Gracie. She said Gracie will most likely take the helm, as the oldest chicken in the coop at 10 years old.

 

[UKMikey]

I thought this story was about a talking hen until I clicked on the article and realised they were interviewing her handler.

 

[Famine]

 

[daan]

And for those thinking that it is only an odd name.

 

[Famine]

Just imagine the vows though.

"Christie, do you take Todger, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for as long as you both shall live?"


What's his middle name? I dread to think.

 

[TexRex]

Seems he's from Jupiter. I wonder if there are any Todgers galavanting about on Uranus.

 

[polysmut]

What's his middle name? I dread to think.

Hopefully it's an apostrophe.
Todger's Trunk.

 

[daan]

I heard his brothers, Dick, Willie and Johnson really enjoyed the service.

 

[polysmut]

I heard his brothers, Dick, Willie and Johnson really enjoyed the service.

The more innocent brother is named Elephant.

 

[MaxAttack]

I heard his brothers, Dick, Willie and Johnson really enjoyed the service.

Typical male skewed media doesn't even mention sister Beersinda

 

[JKgo]

...I was expecting a flood of puns, and I wasn't disappointed.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Typical male skewed media doesn't even mention sister Beersinda

Or Junkinda.

 

[TenEightyOne]

There was a great book about Cancel Culture coming out, but it's been cancelled.

 

[Dotini]

Aussie lawyer loses fight to keep offensive number plates on his Lamborghini.

Lamborghini-driving Sydney lawyer Peter Lavac has vowed never to back down to “fat cat bullies” after a court bid to try and keep his controversial ‘LGOPNR’ number plates failed on Monday.

NSW Police seized the plates - which say an abbreviation of “leg opener” - after pulling Mr Lavac over while he was driving his yellow Lamborghini to carry out a random breath test in November.

He has since been fighting to have them returned and wanted a court declaration stating their contents couldn’t be deemed offensive.

But on Monday at Downing Centre Local Court, Magistrate Greg Elks ruled in favour of Transport for NSW, who he said retained ownership of all number plates in the state and could recall them at will.

https://www.news.com.au/technology/...i/news-story/3bf756636123c80d159292e8441176cf

 

[TexRex]

 

[Liquid]

A nice funny story:

Jackie Stewart helped Steven Spielberg get access to Indiana Jones filming location.

 

[EngieDiesel]

So Facebook has decided that UK users will be residents of California after Brexit. For the purpose of data collection and "privacy", that is.

Filed under "strange" to highlight just how bizarre privacy laws have become over the last decade or so.

 

[Liquid]

So Facebook has decided that UK users will be residents of California after Brexit. For the purpose of data collection and "privacy", that is.

Filed under "strange" to highlight just how bizarre privacy laws have become over the last decade or so.

BUT THE MICROCHIPS!

To me, things like this only highlight the absurdity of people who somehow don't think they are already being tracked and spied on.

 

[Joey D]

Lehi woman arrested for aggravated assault after hitting sister with bagel, choking her

The victim reportedly told police that she was talking bad about her sister, 21-year-old Shaylie Nichole Andrus, who took a bagel and hit her in the face with it.

...

"The victim had cream cheese on her face and redness on her neck consistent with being strangled," the affidavit states.

 

[TexRex]

Hey, that's not kosher.

 

[UKMikey]

If Lehi PD officers put her in a holding cell they won't have to throw away the key.

Just the lox.


Me reaching for that punchline...

 

[TenEightyOne]

Parents ordered to recompense son for destroying his porn collection. He didn't see that coming.

 

[TexRex]

Erotic Heritage Museum.

 

[UKMikey]

Parents ordered to recompense son for destroying his porn collection. He didn't see that coming.

Mustn't grumble...

 

[TenEightyOne]

I look forward to these stories every year.

"Creepy" Drive-Through Grotto an "Absolute Fiasco".

 

[ryzno]

https://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending...n-ahead-christmas/QD3BAMG6TRG4PL3WAA4KLNMUTA/

 

[Hayden]

Erotic Heritage Museum.

Fun fact: I very nearly took my wife there on our honeymoon. We sat in the carpark, thinking about going in for a good 10 minutes. Ultimately, on a trip full of museums, and with a rather high price of admission, we went to the strippers instead

 

[TenEightyOne]

https://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending...n-ahead-christmas/QD3BAMG6TRG4PL3WAA4KLNMUTA/

It's good for his elf.

 

[Liquid]

I look forward to these stories every year.

"Creepy" Drive-Through Grotto an "Absolute Fiasco".

Welcome to Crapland

 

[UKMikey]

It's good for his elf.

D'awwww... this completely sleighed me.