GTP Cool Wall: 1886 Benz Patent-Motorwagen

[White & Nerdy]

1886 Benz Patent-Motorwagen nominated by JMoney689

Stats:
Production: 1886
Style: 0-door, uh, car thing
Engine: Patent model uses 58 ci/958 cc naturally aspirated single-cylinder (rated 0.8 HP & ? lb-ft), commercial model uses ~98 ci/ ~1,600 cc naturally aspirated single-cylinder (rated 0.75 HP & ? lb-ft)
Transmission: 1-speed
Layout: Mid-engine, Rear-drive​

You know those ideas of coolness you have? And that I have too? Throw them all out the window, this car is immune to them. It may not technically be the first car ever per se, but for practical intents and purposes, this is where it all began. All cars, cool and uncool, from Zonda and Viper to Prius and Camry, owe something to this old contraption. Without it, we may not even have cars to call cool and uncool today. That makes it the coolest car ever, and if anyone votes lower than Sub-Zero, they are a criminal and a traitor as far as things automotive are concerned. I'm loath to even include other options here.

 

[Aquarelle]

Not even 1 horsepower from a 1.6?!

Seriously uncool

 

[daan]

The cool wall is all about here and now. Today that is just a rickety, old, death-trap of a contraption.

Iconic? Yes.
Important? Yes
Invaluable? Yes
Cool? No

 

[JMoney]

Perhaps I should have cropped that screenshot...

You really can't rate this car like you would other cars on the wall, but there are zero reasons it is uncool. Being the first internal combustion engined car, 'cool' seems like an understatement. Sub-Zero.

Not even 1 horsepower from a 1.6?!

Seriously uncool

Are you kidding me? You are judging the first engine on power?

 

[Wolfe]

Is it February 2005 again?

This one was tough. Its significance and historic value and all that are obvious, but it's not exceptionally cool. It wouldn't make any more sense to say it's uncool, either. Since "meh" seems absurd in this case, I went with Cool by process of elimination.

 

[Kent]

This should have no place on the cool wall voting.

It's like a conversation about the sexiest woman alive and then someone starts talking about Athena.

I am disappointed this made it to voting without first being shot down by explaining that historic benchmarks and the subtleties of modern cars' coolness do not belong in the same discussion.

This is a waste of a voting week. 👎

 

[BKGlover]

Really W&N? Then call me a traitor. It is important, but cool it isn't. If you saw someone driving this today, they'd be dismissed as an idiot. A dying horse could be faster, and more comfortable. I concur with daan here, and I say Seriously Uncool.

 

[SomePlayaDude]

I meh'd

Because I've yet to live with something that has 3 wheels.

 

[Zenith]

Are you kidding me? You are judging the first engine on power?

No.

The first internal combustion engine in a car =/= first engine.

Seriously this info is one Google search away. How hard could it be?

 

[AudiMan2011]

Uncool. I'd prefer a horse.

 

[homeforsummer]

Voted uncool.

It's a brilliant and iconic vehicle. I'd struggle to see how it's cool though.

If you saw one driving down the street, I bet you'd stop whatever you're doing. But that's not because it's oozing cool, it's because it would look so incongruous in modern life, as it putters down the road at a few miles per hour. It isn't cool, but it'd sure as hell be a talking point.

Incidentally, going back to a point I made in a previous cool wall thread, about having an interest in driving basically anything ever made - the Patent-Motorwagen would be very high up that list, if I had a choice.

Perhaps I should have cropped that screenshot...

Charge your phone, man!

 

[MrUnknown]

This won't end up well...

... Again.

 

[Famine]

Are you kidding me? You are judging the first engine on power?

Yeah, everyone knows it's all about the torq... oh.

 

[Roger the Horse]

I think I'll abstain from voting.

 

[Adamgp]

Have to go Sub-Zero on this one.

 

[AlvaroF]

As everyone else: it has a cool history and that's about it. It's not something that can possibly be cool, because if you'd drive it nowadays people will call you hipster and hipster are not cool.

 

[JMoney]

No.

The first internal combustion engine in a car =/= first engine.

Seriously this info is one Google search away. How hard could it be?

That's obviously what I meant, as I had already written "first internal combustion engine" earlier in the post. My point stands either way. It's from 1886, not 2014.

 

[Bopop4]

It's from 1886, not 2014.

No...

 

[Azure Flare]

It's from 1886, not 2014.

 

[JMoney]

No...

Do you have a valid argument? Or are you going to waste my time by giving me unworthwhile alerts?

 

[Azure Flare]

I believe there was supposed to be another word there, but would be "🤬".

 

[TheCracker]

History aside, there's nothing remotely cool about it.

 

[Bopop4]

I believe there was supposed to be another word there, but would be "🤬".

I never thought of that, but it would work quite well.
Should've done it in italics to highlight the exasperation.

Urie is the last person who would post something like that without it being sarcasm.

 

[Aquarelle]

Are you kidding me? You are judging the first engine on power?

Well, obviously being the small import lover that I am HP/L is the only measure of coolness - thus how could I possibly consider this to be cool? it has less power than my spa pool.

I never thought of that, but it would work quite well.
Should've done it in italics to highlight the exasperation.

Urie is the last person who would post something like that without it being sarcasm.

Once again I've forgotten the mandatory sarcasm tags, silly me.

 

[Wiegert]

Well, it's an iconic museum piece (ignoring the functional replicas). And a watershed in the world of internal combustion powered transport.

Can you honestly say there's anything really cool about it though? It's great in that it played part of revolutionising personal transportation two centuries ago, and driving around in one (well, a replica, realistically) today would evoke gasps from onlookers due to the time warp factor. But a three-wheel carriage barely capable of jogging pace - regardless of its influence on how we all get around today - isn't a cool vehicle today.

So, an automotive great? Yes. Cool? No. There's a difference.

 

[GranTurismo916]

Sorry, even if this is one of the most iconic automotive pieces ever, it just can't be cool. It's an uncool for me.

 

[Tornado]

The only possible way you could be cool if you drove one of these would be if you looked like this:

And outside of the guy from My Classic Car noone looks like that anymore.

 

[Harry6784]

If your worried about power, LSX swap it and she would fly

Pretty cool IMO. Park this next to an Aventador and most people would check this out first because it's so unusual. I probably won't be seen driving it, but I'll give it a 'cool' for it's weirdness factor.

 

[White & Nerdy]

Well, it's an iconic museum piece (ignoring the functional replicas). And a watershed in the world of internal combustion powered transport.

Can you honestly say there's anything really cool about it though? It's great in that it played part of revolutionising personal transportation two centuries ago, and driving around in one (well, a replica, realistically) today would evoke gasps from onlookers due to the time warp factor. But a three-wheel carriage barely capable of jogging pace - regardless of its influence on how we all get around today - isn't a cool vehicle today.

So, an automotive great? Yes. Cool? No. There's a difference.

I think you missed the point. Like I said, it's cool simply because of its position in history... I don't think it would be a stretch to call it revolutionary. Some vehicles are SZ forever on significance alone, this is one of them. Just as wouldn't have air travel today without the Wright Brothers' first rickety contraptions, we wouldn't have cars to call cool and uncool without this thing. It's cool because it's the beginning of it all.

 

[mustang fanatic]

Sub-zero. It's one of the first cars.