GTP Cool Wall: 2000-2005 Ford Excursion

[Slash]

5.4L and 6.0L.

Two horrid, horrid engines. Seriously uncool.

 

[Northstar]

5.4L and 6.0L.

Two horrid, horrid engines. Seriously uncool.

I'm guessing the doomsday clock just hit midnight.

 

[buickgnx88]

What's funny is there probably wasn't a whole lot of engineering that needed to be done for this, considering a good portion of it was an F-250 chassis/drivetrain/front sheetmetal. All they had to do was build a suburban-style body, throw in some seats and taillights from the Econoline, and call it a day.

 

[LMSCorvetteGT2]

What's funny is there probably wasn't a whole lot of engineering that needed to be done for this, considering a good portion of it was an F-250 chassis/drivetrain/front sheetmetal. All they had to do was build a suburban-style body, throw in some seats and taillights from the Econoline, and call it a day.

You act as if they just welded a rear camper to the back of the truck bed.

 

[buickgnx88]

It really is pretty close though. It sort of reminds me of back in the 80's and early 90's when Centurion built the 4-door versions of the Bronco using the HD truck chassis of the time.

 

[edawg456]

Since this is the suv version of the f250/350. And since I have personally have a f350. The truck is sub zero. And which makes this bad boy subzero.

 

[Roger the Horse]

In the end, when it comes to the cool wall, it doesn't matter whether or not this thing is good or bad (which it is).

What matters is that it's ugly.

 

[Joel]

In the end, when it comes to the cool wall, it doesn't matter whether or not this thing is good or bad (which it is).

What matters is that it's ugly.

Imagine the rage if W&N said this about a 4 cylinder hatchback.

 

[Roger the Horse]

It's a hideous bloated behemoth, and it causes a huge amount of environmental damage in the process. It's pure compounded awful and it's weaponised uncool.

 

[Sage Ages]

so until a Chinese car company emerges that isn't cheap or makes knockoffs, pretty much all Chinese cars are uncool.

There are a few out there. Granted none of us know jack about them, but just wanna point it out.

 

[The87Dodge]

Not sure if this was already mentioned, but the reason why Ford created the Excursion was to make an SUV bigger than GM's Suburban and Escalade ESV.

 

[Joel]

It's a hideous bloated behemoth, and it causes a huge amount of environmental damage in the process. It's pure compounded awful and it's weaponised uncool.

"It's an ugly, woefully underpowered box that's just cutesy and looks ridiculous. It's ugly, not fun to drive, and too small to be practical. It's pure compounded awful and it's weaponised uncool."

I haven't suddenly decided I hate small cars and decided to rush to America to buy a Ford Excursion, but it's rather annoying that when W&N would criticize *Small European Car* or *Kei Car* we'd all froth at the mouth and scream about context or how practical those cars are in Europe or Japan. But when *American SUV* comes up, it's time to get some licks in no matter how many times people try to explain the utility or practicality of these kinds of vehicles.

We explained that fuel efficiency is important in Europe because of high gas prices and that cars are smaller when roads are smaller, but somehow a big vehicle made for big roads in an era with cheap gas prices is bad. We explained that hatchbacks are popular because of their practicality, but Americans take their truck platform they've already developed as a work vehicle and add a body with 8 seats while retaining its work capabilities and that's bad.

 

[Leggy1]

There are a few out there. Granted none of us know jack about them, but just wanna point it out.

The MG3 and MG6 are Chinese, partly. They aren't that bad actually.

 

[buickgnx88]

It's a hideous bloated behemoth, and it causes a huge amount of environmental damage in the process. It's pure compounded awful and it's weaponised uncool.

Hilarious overreaction aside, the Land Rover Range Rover from the same period, with the 4.6 V8, could only muster about 11mpg city/14mpg highway. Besides, I'm not sure what sort of "environmental damage" it would cause over other vehicles.

 

[Roger the Horse]

Modern Range Rovers aren't cool (the early ones have managed to earn that status in recent years), but they're good at going off road. I doubt this is.

This Ford appears to only have five seats, so despite its size you're better off with a smaller MPV if you want to carry a lot of people.

Drinking a huge amount of fuel means more emissions, simple.

 

[Joel]

Modern Range Rovers aren't cool (the early ones have managed to earn that status in recent years), but they're good at going off road. I doubt this is.

It would be a really bad offroader just from sheer length. But that's not the point of it, the point is to be able to have room for your family of 6 while still being able to tow your boat 1000km to the family cottage. Or to carry you and your 5 hunting buddies to the woods along with all your stuff. Or to carry 4 cops and two dogs, haul farm equipment, the big thing about this kind of vehicle is the towing and storage capacity which you just don't get out of smaller SUV's or minivans.

This Ford appears to only have five seats, so despite its size you're better off with a smaller MPV if you want to carry a lot of people.

It could have up to 9 seats, and in most cases would either have 7 or 8. Keep in mind the third row seats in this would be more roomy than the back seat in most cars, and much better than the third row of a minivan. An average sized adult/teenager could reasonably sit in the 3rd row seat, which matters when you're buying an SUV with the idea of taking 2000km road trips across the country.

 

[Roger the Horse]

I haven't seen any images of it with more than five seats. I find it a likely proposition that it was available with more, but I haven't seen any direct evidence personally.

 

[JMoney]

I haven't seen any images of it with more than five seats. I find it a likely proposition that it was available with more, but I haven't seen any direct evidence personally.

Alright then.

That enough "evidence"?

 

[Wiegert]

I haven't seen any images of it with more than five seats. I find it a likely proposition that it was available with more, but I haven't seen any direct evidence personally.

I know you probably didn't watch more than a few seconds (if any whatsoever), but there was evidence here on page 3.

 

[Joel]

I haven't seen any images of it with more than five seats. I find it a likely proposition that it was available with more, but I haven't seen any direct evidence personally.

A likely proposition indeed.

 

[Tornado]

or bad (which it is).

It's pure compounded awful

Let's try this again. Why?

I find it a likely proposition that it was available with more,

I like how several posts from people living in the country it was sold in have talked about potential seating arrangements for the Excursion, but because you haven't actually looked to see if it was true the most it nets is a "likely proposition".

 

[Doog]

I haven't suddenly decided I hate small cars and Europe decided to rush to America to buy a Ford Excursion, but it's rather annoying that when W&N would criticize *Small European Car* or *Kei Car* we'd all froth at the mouth and scream about context or how practical those cars are in Europe or Japan. But when *American SUV* comes up, it's time to get some licks in no matter how many times people try to explain the utility or practicality of these kinds of vehicles.

Ah, if only you could see it from the superior correct viewpoint, you obtuse peon! Our collective hard-on for European culture means that we must tirelessly attempt to force it on the un-wanting American public through the form of wagons and hatchbacks (but buying new is for suckers). If only lazy Americans would realize the true superiority of the analogue hatchback, but instead they buy these SUVs and crossovers like idiots! But alas, companies are motivated by stupid crap like profitability, so we must take our tirades to the web and lambaste stupid SUVs because they're for soccer moms and men with small penises (hatchbacks are not for soccer moms or the anatomically-challenged, however; hatchbacks are infallible). Ugh, and can you believe the ancient engines they're burdening these things with? I mean, I'm always the first to comment negatively on a post regarding the reliability of modern engines, but at the same time, the fact that some manufacturers have the audacity to use a tried-and-true motor makes me want to hold my fedora in sorrow. I'm all for the simplification removal of those stupid electronics and Commifornia emissions crap from engines, but at the same time, I hold stupid SUVs I don't buy to the same standards as sports-oriented diesels from Europe. You see, Europe is cool because it has history and culture and gypsies. The European way of life (but also the Tokyo-centric lifestyle, because novelty) is the best way of life. I just don't understand how these mindless fools can stand tolerate these wide roads, big vehicles and automatic transmissions!

 

[Bo]

This is a baseless, condescending, blatantly Anti-American response to @Gotbeefboy564's question.

It's an answer, a realistic one at that, and I have no clue where you're getting "anti-American" from, or baseless. This just looks like you've stuck some typical argument-related vocabulary together in the hope of making a point. Would you really say a lifted bro truck loaded to the brim with speakers is tasteful?

 

[Leggy1]

This is a baseless, condescending, blatantly Anti-American response to @Gotbeefboy564's question.

It's just anti SUVs like this. Nothing to do with where it comes from. If it were British then I'm sure the opinions would be the same.

 

[Vegard]

weaponised uncool

Pretty much sums it up.

 

[Roger the Horse]

Why?

It's a huge off roader that isn't even designed to go off road that both has a similar appearance to, and appears to share its build quality with, a Kia from 15 years ago. I can't think of anything worse.

What's wrong with a well equipped VW minibus to perform the same task just as effectively while using half the fuel?

The fact of the matter is that big off roaders that never get used off road always will be associated with mums who foolishly think that they're keeping their children safer (despite the greatly increased rollover risk of a vehicle with such a high centre of gravity), who listen to Coldplay or Mumford & Sons because they think such music is "emotional", and then run all the other children over because they're too high up to see them or choke them to death because their cars are emitting so many fumes.

I'm not saying any of that stuff is true, but this is a cool wall, not a good wall; it's all about perceptions and associations rather than quality and facts.

 

[Joel]

For the second time it's not for off roading. How much can a VW minibus tow?

 

[Adamgp]

This thread just keeps getting more and more entertaining.

 

[Legro]

How much can a VW minibus tow?

The maximum weight the Transporter can tow is 2,500 kg and larger Mercedes Benz Sprinter can apparently tow a 3,400 kg trailer. The towing weight of both vehicles is obviously less than the Excursion can tow, but the question is, do you really need to tow anything more than that with a passenger vehicle.

 

[Bo]

The towing weight of both vehicles is obviously less than the Excursion can tow, but the question is, do you really need to tow anything more than that with a passenger vehicle.

And just how many Excursion owners bought the car with such intentions. It's all well and good saying it's ridiculously giant for a reason, but I'd be willing to bet at least 90% of owners use it for hauling 2 kids and the weekly shopping around.