GTP Cool Wall: Volvo 850 R Estate. Voting Closed

[Jim Prower]

Hmm.

Problem I have is that I think sleepers are cool. But the point of sleepers is that you don't know that they're sleepers. Which means it needs explaining. Which isn't cool...

Nonono...you don't tell anyone about it. Just pretend it's normal...until you blow someone off, be it at a dragstrip or road course. (stoplights don't count, as the guys that actually will race you are real cocks.)

And when they ask what you did to it, pretend like you don't know.

That. Is cool.

 

[CarBastard]

Out of my 20 rules, 5 apply. 3 are cons and 2 are pros. 2 out of 5 = 40% = Seriously Uncool 👎.

EDIT: After seeing this picture from Joey D:

I decided that another rule applies, and it's to the car's benefit, a pro. That makes it 3 pros and 3 cons...which means 50%...still seriously uncool.

 

[Lucas]

which means 50%...still seriously uncool.

Wait. What?

I don't want to mess with your rules, but the way I see it:

0% - 24.99% = Seriously Uncool.
25% - 49.99% = Uncool.
50% - 74.99% = Cool.
75% or more = Sub-Zero.

That should have been Cool. Or Uncool.

As I said, however, I don't want to mess with your rules. If you could explain, however, I would greatly appreciate it... 👍

 

[CarBastard]

Wait. What?

I don't want to mess with your rules, but the way I see it:

0% - 24.99% = Seriously Uncool.
25% - 49.99% = Uncool.
50% - 74.99% = Cool.
75% or more = Sub-Zero.

That should have been Cool. Or Uncool.

As I said, however, I don't want to mess with your rules. If you could explain, however, I would greatly appreciate it... 👍

I am very, very, very demanding . This is how i rate cars..

 

[Lucas]

Oh, I see! Thanks for explaining, man. 👍

 

[Roo]

The first 2 minutes 20 seconds. Especially the shots with the other 850 visable. That, combined with the sleeper thing, makes it sub-zero in my fanboy eyes.

 

[Eric Demory]

Uncool, 43%. But with the cool front bumper, I bump it up to 46%. And why is it that Volvo always makes their car have tall taillights?

 

[TS]

Uncool, I've driven a turbo 850 and those have massive torque steer. I couldn't imagine how bad these handle.

I'll take a 940 turbo wagon or an AWD V70R please.

Oh, you silly silly boy.

Prancing moose!

 

[Worst_Driver]

Seriously Uncool.

It's a Volvo Wagon and well those two uncool things for me add up and make seriously uncool.

 

[Rykon Zero]

Sub-zero. My dad hated these things because the drivers were always so slow. This removes the chance of that happening, and with it's 5 cyl. engine, it's cool. Add the wagon bit to it, and I'm having to keep my head imploding from sheer awesome.

 

[Murcie_LP640]

Uncool. It's not beige, and it doesn't have green turbo motifs or a makeshift water-bed in the back.

/end shameless Top Gear plug.

 

[Spec M]

Definately not sub-zero but surely cool, especially because of this,

Surely seems to be a potent rigid chassis for road racing and its 3400lbs factory weight is a plus (not extremely heavy like the Audi estates).

 

[Boffin]

Uncool. It's not beige, and it doesn't have green turbo motifs or a makeshift water-bed in the back.

/end shameless Top Gear plug.

Funny you should mention Top Gear - guess what Jeremy spent his own money on?

S-Z. Maybe a little biased because I roll with an SE estate - but they are terribly functional, really comfortable, really nice to drive (no really - you know what the clutch, brakes and steering's doing - there is a suprising amount of feedback to the driver) and if you have the manual, they actually make a nice noise once you get past the iconic mooing sound at low revs (which the auto box never gets past).

Also - the 850 estate was the first Volvo dubbed to be a cool car by motoring journalists.

What makes it S-Z also is its speed - the R is amazingly fast. If you go searching on youtube, you can find take-offs from stock Rs and they have quite alot of go.

 

[mPWRD]

Fast wagons are always Cool. They're sleeper cars, for sure.

 

[The Vanishing Boy]

-> Oh dang! I saw this car in person when it was new back in '96 and it was red! And up to now I'm still drooling! I love wagons, cool!

 

[Bones Brigade]

Sub-zero.

 

[Famine]

Nonono...you don't tell anyone about it. Just pretend it's normal...

Normal = uncool.

until you blow someone off

Really uncool, unless you're a woman.

be it at a dragstrip or road course. (stoplights don't count, as the guys that actually will race you are real cocks.)

But it is a road car. 99% of its time will be on the road. Looking normal. Looking uncool.

Sleepers are only cool to people who know that they are sleepers. And then they aren't sleepers any more, so aren't cool. That's the problem.

 

[Boffin]

Normal = uncool.



Really uncool, unless you're a woman.



But it is a road car. 99% of its time will be on the road. Looking normal. Looking uncool.
Sleepers are only cool to people who know that they are sleepers. And then they aren't sleepers any more, so aren't cool. That's the problem.

Think of its performance more like an inside joke.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't you also deem a car uncool because it attracts to much attention? This car looking normal will mean that you have a great car thats fast - and you won't get the shifty eye from the rozzers or get challenged at the lights by spotty little punks in astras. Plus theres less chance of it getting vandalised if you leave it in the middle of town on a Friday/Saturday night. With that, you could say its not trying too hard - which is cool.

 

[Famine]

Problem I have is that I think sleepers are cool.

I don't need to think about it.

But you show this car to 20 people in the street and all 20 will say "It's a Volvo". As I said before:

But the point of sleepers is that you don't know that they're sleepers.

And that means that people don't innately think it's cool because they don't know it's a sleeper. And in order for them to know that it's cool you have to tell them what it is (and what a sleeper is):

Which means it needs explaining. Which isn't cool...

 

[Boffin]

And that means that people don't innately think it's cool because they don't know it's a sleeper. And in order for them to know that it's cool you have to tell them what it is (and what a sleeper is):

This is what I'm not understanding. Why is it so important that you tell others what it is in order for them to find it cool? Why wouldn't it be better that people think its uncool - leading to more effect when you mash the throttle?

 

[Encyclopedia]

Sleeper estates are cool, and this one's got a sweet sounding 5-cylinder turbo engine.

 

[Famine]

Why wouldn't it be better that people think its uncool - leading to more effect when you mash the throttle?

...

If people think it's uncool then... it's... uncool?

Cool Wall. Not Good Wall.

 

[Boffin]

...

If people think it's uncool then... it's... uncool?

Cool Wall. Not Good Wall.

Ok - yes sounded like stupid question.

Here's another one out of the stupidity cabinet - would you rate a car uncool because it tries too hard in the aesthetic department? Like say... a Ferrari?

 

[Famine]

All Ferraris are uncool. It's the law*. Nothing to do with design - they could sell a Lotus Exige with a Ferrari badge on it and it'd be uncool because it's a Ferrari.

Coolness in design is in the middle ground. Not as dull as a Volvo, not as aggressive as an Enzo, but somewhere in-between. Of course where that in-between falls is entirely a personal choice.


Incidentally, you'll note I haven't voted. Yet.


*(though I think the F40 is an exception).

 

[Boffin]

All Ferraris are uncool. It's the law*. Nothing to do with design - they could sell a Lotus Exige with a Ferrari badge on it and it'd be uncool because it's a Ferrari.

Coolness in design is in the middle ground. Not as dull as a Volvo, not as aggressive as an Enzo, but somewhere in-between. Of course where that in-between falls is entirely a personal choice.


Incidentally, you'll note I haven't voted. Yet.


*(though I think the F40 is an exception).

I know - I'm just trying to scope where you're headed .

There are points for both sides with all the issues raised with it being a sleeper.

 

[Famine]

At the moment, nowhere.

I dislike that particular model range of Volvo (I'm not a fan of many, actually), but my likes are irrelevant. I respect them though and would recommend one to a friend, though my respect and recommendations are irrelevant. I like sleepers and think they're cool, but to know something is a sleeper stops it being a sleeper and that stops it being cool. The general public would see a sleeper and not know it's a sleeper and thus think it's not cool.

In short, I don't have a vote I can place.

 

[Stotty]

The 850R could possibly have been cool if it was any good to drive... but the one I drove some years ago was a wheel spinning, torque steering sled that rode like it had no suspension.

Uncool.

All Ferraris are uncool. It's the law*. Nothing to do with design - they could sell a Lotus Exige with a Ferrari badge on it and it'd be uncool because it's a Ferrari.

*(though I think the F40 is an exception).

Plenty of sub-zero Ferraris... though almost all of them were designed and built prior to 1970.

 

[PureAwesomeness]

If you judge something by its brand it suggests you care too much about what other people think. That sounds pretty uncool in my opinion.

 

[Famine]

If you judge something by its brand it suggests you care too much about what other people think. That sounds pretty uncool in my opinion.

Not true at all. For a start, I don't care what you think.

 

[Spec M]

Ferraris... though almost all of them were designed and built prior to 1970.

Wow really, is that a fact? I've never heard such a thing...

All Ferraris are uncool. It's the law*. Nothing to do with design - they could sell a Lotus Exige with a Ferrari badge on it and it'd be uncool because it's a Ferrari.
*(though I think the F40 is an exception).

Let the haters hate smh