GTP Cool Wall: Volvo XC90

[Tornado]

seriously uncool.

No-one's ever pulled a hot chick with the phrase "I drive a Volvo".

Not even with "hey baby, there's a waterbed in the back"?

 

[Mark II Blit]

The XC90 is solid Swedish craftsmanship, but it still isn't better than falukorv.

Uncool.

 

[Roger the Horse]

These are driven by trophy mums at private schools or by wannabe trophy mums who are habitual social climbers. They represent the ultimate in lack of knowledge about or interest in cars and just exist for people who have two skills of going to dinner parties and letting things fall out of their vagina.

Which makes it the absolute perfect car for a shady international female superspy to drive without anybody ever suspecting them!

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Seriously though, this is a SERIOUSLY uncool Swedish car, but judging Swedish cars against other cars in terms of coolness is just downright unfair.

 

[Encyclopedia]

SUV. Uncool.

 

[TheCracker]

It's an SUV so automatically uncool. The fact it's a Volvo doesn't make it any cooler. The few people i know who've run them as company cars didn't rate them very highly either. It's too unremarkable to be seriously uncool.

 

[carracerptp]

One of the 3 SUVs I like and by far the best looking of the bunch. I always wanted it.

 

[White & Nerdy]

Stupid crossover, based on a FWD chassis despite its size. An SUV should be of body-on-frame construction and have rear- or part-time, center-differential-free four-wheel drive. This is just a jacked up station wagon pretending to be an SUV.

And, as Famine says, it's definitely more "high fashion" than "high speed".

Seriously uncool.

 

[Slash]

No crossovers are cool. Period.


That said, it has a V8 option, so I guess that bumps it up to uncool from seriously uncool.

 

[LP670-4 SV]

What if polestar got there hands on one lol?

 

[Bopop4]

And, as Famine says, it's definitely more "high fashion" than "high speed".

It's actually pretty quick.

It does have a 120mph speed limiter, but it gets up there really fast.

 

[niky]

The XC90 is a solid heap of seriously uncool.

Any uncooler and it'd be a Tribeca.

-

And this coming from someone who actually likes the XC60.

 

[Badasp5.0]

They represent the ultimate in lack of knowledge about or interest in cars and just exist for people who have two skills of going to dinner parties and letting things fall out of their vagina.

It's not possible for a road car to be less cool - though several are equal.

LOL Whats funny is these were the folks that GM wanted the Saturn brand to appeal to right before they killed it.

I like volvos but will NEVER think they are cool.

 

[Tornado]

Not even the 480?

 

[White & Nerdy]

It's actually pretty quick.

It does have a 120mph speed limiter, but it gets up there really fast.

You know what I mean. It's intentionally boring and sedate enough to be "acceptable" to the kind of person who thinks shopping is fun and driving isn't supposed to be. Quick or not, you wouldn't bother beating the snot out of it on a winding backroad because it would be more of a chore than an enjoyable activity. You wouldn't take it offroad because it'd probably get stuck. You wouldn't tow or haul something extremely heavy or dirty with it because, well, it's too nice and probably couldn't handle it anyway. The only reasons it's an SUV and not a station wagon are 1. somewhere, people got it into their heads that a station wagon isn't as cool as an "SUV" with the same general capabilities, less performance, more rollover risk, and worse fuel mileage, and 2. the EPA doesn't see anything wrong with making the problem they're supposed to solve even worse.

 

[C-ZETA]

It might be uncool as a car. But as an SUV, oh ho ho, you could do so, so much worse.

Relatively speaking, probably meh.

 

[Wolfe]

...somewhere, people got it into their heads that a station wagon isn't as cool as an "SUV"...

You can actually thank V8 diehards like yourself who popularized the body-on-frame SUV in the '80s and '90s when "old school" V8 RWD cars gave way to FWD fuel-efficient alternatives, and those big ol' SUVs were the only "old school" thing around (and gas was cheap). Eventually, people who didn't even care about "old school" wanted SUVs because they were popular and it made them feel safer. Crossovers and luxury unibody SUVs were created to meet that new demand of bigness while providing car-like dynamics the average idiot could handle, at least a bit better.

So it wasn't really because wagons aren't cool enough for people. They're just not big and tall enough.

 

[GT Pro]

Soccer-mum territory, so no.

 

[Celicaas]

Its a Volvo Which is Boring And Its an SUV Which Cant Do offroading Like a Landcruiser Or Nissan Patrol or Jeep Cherokee or Range Rover So what the point of being an SUV Also its Built on a VW Touareg Like the Porsche cayenne So Uncool

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

For being the one, single SUV I would rather have, I'd say it's pretty cool. Yeah, I'll stick with cool.


Tough call between the Outlander (Mitsubishi) and the Forester Outback, though. They're all good-looking SUVs... Which is all that matters in an SUV, right? Does anyone actually do offroading or care about fuel consumption in an SUV? I've only seen children being taken to school in them...

 

[Badasp5.0]

Not even the 480?

Its quasi cool.

 

[Wolfe]

@Andrew: Is that like, Seinfeld humor, or an honest question?



A stock XC90 isn't impressive compared to the the likes of a Jeep CJ or Defender, but yes, nearly anything that turns all four wheels is liable to get muddy in the hands of some owners.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

I don't know about that, though. I've seen maybe 3 muddy SUVs, and I live in an area where 70% of the nearby land, so few as 200 km. away, is unclaimed territory.


No, no one drives their SUV in the sorts of places I even drive my Impreza wagon.


But, I like the Volvo. As far as SUVs go, the Volvo, Subaru and Mitsubishi are the only ones I really like. I don't have a reason, really, except for simply disliking the alternatives.

Porsche, Jeep, Chrysler, Dodge, Ford and the majority are just ugly, in my opinion. Then the Range Rover is actually 100% legitimately and confirmedly a soccer mom's SUV; Victoria Beckham's. I don't know what else there is. I guess I'd just rather be seen in the Volvo.


Edit: I forgot the Lexus R- series.

 

[Murcie_LP640]

Then the Range Rover is actually 100% legitimately and confirmedly a soccer mom's SUV; Victoria Beckham's.

Rather interestingly also one of the most capable 4WDs money can buy today.

What owners do with their SUVs is their choice. Doesn't detract anything from what they're actually capable of. Also doesn't detract from my beef with them for not taking it to the dunes every once in a while

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

I'm not saying that.


I'm implying that my Impreza wagon has enough off-road capability for even the worst of Canadian roads, so a Volvo XC90 probably has enough off-roading capability.


Between the Lexus, Mitsubishi, and Subaru, there's a tie with the Volvo just slightly ahead, in terms of which one I prefer.


Because the Volvo and Lexus are, in my opinion, the only nice-looking SUVs available for less than $100,000.

 

[niky]

Unfortunately, you have the automatic, so you don't have a low-range box.

I've been wondering what an Impreza with a (stock) low-range transfer case and some big tires could do off-road.

Of course, with a turbo, there's less need for low-range (though it would still help):

Yum yum yum. Crossover what?

-

On the topic at hand... I don't like the XC90 simply because I don't like the XC90. The styling (compared to other Volvos) is a bit dull, the drivetrain was unimpressive and it didn't really stand out in its class. I'd rather drive a CX9 than one of those things.

Then again, I'd rather drive a CX9 than a lot of other things, as well.

You want something refined, with a nice interior? Get the CX9. (rubber isolated subframes and whatnot)

You want something that will hold seven warm bodies? Get the CX9.

You want something quick, with a nice engine note? Get the CX9.

You want something that handles better than your typical seven-seat crossover? Get the CX9.

You want something that won't drink gas like a Ford Expedition? Errh... get something else.

 

[Sage Ages]

Beige.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

niky.

You and I will disagree on the styling, I think we'll all just agree to disagree here.

 

[BKGlover]

You want something that won't drink gas like a Ford Expedition? Errh... get something else.

Eh, the Expedition isn't too bad. The Excursion, on the other hand, can be laughed at by supercars it sucks fuel so bad, and that was with a diesel. Just imagine a gasoline engine trying to move that ship.

OT: Part of my problem, dullness aside, was that it felt like a response to the market, like they were caught flat-footed and had to throw something together to capitalize. I do hope that the new one doesn't feel the same way.

 

[Slash]

The excursion gets 16/22 with the 5.4. My school uses one for transportation a got that. It's really only a F250 with a cap and seats. If you think that's bad, well my pickup gets 3mpg.


Yes you read that right.

 

[niky]

Eh, the Expedition isn't too bad.

The boys at the magazine tried an economy run with one. I think they hit 24 mpg. Maybe. Almost.

Of course, if you drive like a "normal" person, you'll be getting 16-18 mpg on the highway. That's horrible. And that's how the CX9 is. You have to drive it like a saint to break past 24 mpg.

Whereas the new Explorer can hit 30-35 mpg.