GTP - Your WORST 5 Films of All Time

[Famine]

Similar to the best 10 thread. Post your 5 worst films ever - please make sure you've seen them, or at least walked out of the cinema in the middle of them - and, upon Christmas Day, I'll compile a poll of the 20 most voted for films to see what the worst film ever made, in our collective opinons, is.

My top 5 stinkers:
1. The Avengers - so bad that my 8-month pregnant sister-in-law walked out of it.
2. Event Horizon (not Event Horizon) - made me want to pull my eyes out too.
3. The Asphyx - whoooooooah.
4. The Matrix Reloaded - a victim of the first film's innovation. And a clunky plot entirely based on subtext.
5. The Others -would have been ruined by ham-acting. But it was already ruined by being cack.

 

[Carl.]

- The League of Extraordinary Gentlemens
- Highlander sequels
- Robocop sequels - the first one was "a masterpiece" in comparison...
- Blues Brother 2000
- Speed 2

Nominees include:

- Any Steven Seagal movie
- Van Damme latest movies (Bloodsport seriously kicked ass when I was 8... )
- Judge Dredd
- Battlefield Earth
- Congo
- Beverly Hills Cop 3

Many more that I gladly forgot about... I'm sure some of them would top the list, but my brain just buried the information very deep in my memory, to limit the damage.

 

[emad]

Police Academy movies after #3. I haven't seen 3 that I could complain
Cat in the hat
Aguirre: Wrath of God. I walked out of the lecture hall with only 3 words on my mind "what the ****?!?!? I don't care that the director had a huge hidden meaning in it. I didn't want to sit for 2.5 hours watching a bunch of people drifting down a river in a raft and randomly being shot at by Indians
Cabeza de Vaca. Same class, I walked out thinking "what the bloody ****?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
FnF
2F2F
Saving Columbine. Most uninteresting crap ever. Moore tries waaaaaayyy too hard and doesn't manage to prove much. I turned it off within 20 minutes.

Nominees
Castaway. As much as I admired the attempt and what they were trying to achieve, the movie was too bloody LONG and tedius to watch

 

[Yuichi]

- The Fast and The Furious series
- Game of Death (The Bruce Lee "film" in which he was only in it for 15 minutes)
- The Matrix sequels
- Scary Movie 3
- Any other film with Paul Walker or Vin Diesel

 

[Anderton Prime]

Battlefield Earth
Paycheck
Seed Of Chucky
Clockstoppers
3000 Miles To Graceland


And just for the record, I firmly believe no Matrix movie belongs on this list at all. Each film has its own memorable moments and technical achievments. But, that's just my opinion.

 

[DRIFT4EVA]

- Any other film with Paul Walker or Vin Diesel

The Deedles is pretty good and that has Paul Walker in it.

 

[Ev0]

- Men With Brooms (Horrible Canadian curling movie)
- The Matrix Revolutions (Ruined the trilogy, just terrible all around)
- Fast And The Furious Series (Lame rice cars, and they got rid of the Skylines in the first 15 minutes in both movies 👎 )
- Signs (Plot holes galore; nothing made sense once you thought about it)

Those are the only really bad movies I can think of right now that I've seen.

 

[Event]

Paycheck
Napoleon Dynamite
Armaggedon
Star Wars: Attack of the clones
The Matrix: Revolutions

I've never seen Event Horizon...

 

[LoudMusic]

Omega Code.

 

[Jpec07]

Let's see what I can come up with for this list of crap:



1. Star Wars Episode II - Ok, so this movie wasn't all that bad, but it is on this worsts list for a reason. This movie had no plot, bad acting, and low-budget action sequences ("YODA!" some might say, but that fight happened too fast to witness so wasn't worth it). There's also the element that Lucas seems to be relying on his former glory to propel these movies, and it's not working that well. There are some cheesy puns, but the plot is so very similar to so many things we've seen before. In short, this movie was just a big disappointment.

2. The Andromeda Strain - the book was boring, they should never have made it a movie. It's as simple as that.

3. The Fantastic Voyage - the worst movie I think I've ever seen. At least Andromeda Strain had some kind of a plot (Michael Crichton has too much skill in writing for it not to), but this was just complete crap. I can't even think how else to describe it.

4. Gone in 60 Seconds - no plot, or at least none that could be followed with ease...

5. Star Trek IV; the Wrath of Khan - ok, can we just forget I even sat through that movie? In all seriousness, this movie was flooded with bad acting, bad special effects, bad plot, just bad overall. I sat through it on a saturday afternoon because I was insanely bored (there wasn't even any golf on TV, whose watching equates to doing less than nothing in my book).

 

[Solid Lifters]

Ishtar. 3.7 out of 10 should tell you something.

I really liked The League of Extrordinary Gentlemen. It had great characters in it. Tom Sawyer, Dorian Gray, Rodney Skinner, Welhemina Harker, Capt. Nemo, Allan Quatermain and Dr. Jekyll/Mr.Hyde. Having classic 19th century characters meeting together for a special mission was a cool idea. Granted, the movie had some stupid moments, but overall it was a pretty good movie.

 

[Danoff]

Star Trek IV; the Wrath of Khan

Star Trek 4 was "the voyage home", where they go back in time to the 1980's. Wrath of Khan was Start Trek 2 and it was one of the best movies in the series.


Ok here are some candidates from me:

Tomb Raider
Moulin Rouge
Love Actually
Star Wars (1 & 2)
Two Week's Notice

 

[Mike Rotch]

Too many to mention at once:

Dirty Dancing: Havana night (dont ask)
Requiem for a Dream
Van Wilder
I know what you did last summer
Scream
And Van Damme/ Segal movie
Bridget Jones
Fat Mommas House
Days of Thunder
Training Days
Spiderman
The Incredible Hulk
.
.
.

 

[Omnis]

umm.

i think the definitive answer should be You Got Served.

worst writing ever, worst acting ever, worst movie....ever.

 

[gt4]

All i can say is The Village. That has to be the absolute worst ending to any movie i have ever seen and i was so pissed that i spent $8.50 on that stupid ticket afterwards that i went and asked for my money back cause it sucked and they said no.

Edit: Also like to throw in a nomination for death to smoochie

 

[Solid Lifters]

My list was incomplete, so here ya go.

2. Oscar. I can't believe an actor from this movie actually went on to win an Oscar.

3. A year latter, Stalone makes Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! The only thing good about this movie is Estelle Getty is near death.

4. Kazaam.

5. Steel. O'Neal did it again. Enough said.

 

[Nasadus]

-The Avengers
-League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
-Battlefield Earth
-Dungeons & Dragons
-Highlander 3: The Final Dimension

Too many of you analyze movies when watching them.

 

[Anderton Prime]

Ok here are some candidates from me:

Tomb Raider
Moulin Rouge
Love Actually
Star Wars (1 & 2)
Two Week's Notice

Wow, I can see you don't like chick flicks. Two Weeks Notice was pretty light fare, but that's what it was supposed to be. It's funny at times and sweet at other times. The same goes for Love, Actually. Yeah, they're both sappy, but they appeal to a lot of people.

That you put Moulin Rouge on your list of 5 worst movies of all time suggests to me that you know very little about what makes a GOOD movie. I know this is an opinions forum, but this movie succeeds in every aspect it sets out to do well in.

Bottom line, people, is that you shouldn't be including movies on your list from a genre you don't really enjoy anyway. If you don't like chick flicks, don't put 3 of them on your list as the worst movies of all time, that isn't the point. I love sci-fi and action movies, and Paycheck AND Battlefield Earth both made it onto my list. Catch my drift?

 

[TB]

In no particular order
The Cube 2
Battlefield Earth
The Incredible Hulk
Star Wars Episode II (and more than likely III)
Timeline

 

[TwinTurboJay]

- Scary Movie 3
- Punch Drunk Love...( I was just so disapointed ) I know it really shouldn't make the list...
- Biker Boyz ( worse than fast & furious )
- Devine Secrets of the YaYa sisterhood
- Dumb and Dumberer

 

[Jugend]

The Arrival 2
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0122961/

LOTR fellowship of the ring. I walked out of the cinema after 2 hours.
But the 2 following lotr movies wasn't that bad.

Battlefield Earth. Only 30 movies got a lower rank on imdb.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0185183/

The Bicentennial Man
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0182789/

Gröna gubbar från Y.R.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091154/

 

[CAMAROBOY69]

These arent in any special order but some havent been posted yet.
1. Vulgar the Clown
2. Cabin fever
3. RPM
4. Blair Witch Project
5. The Big Bounce
I will add some contenders as I think of them.
6. Scary Movie 2 (didnt bother watching 3)
7. Paycheck
8. Traffic
9. Kill Bill 2
10. Sweet Home Alabama

 

[Pupik]

(Revised list...I forgot why one of these should be added.)

Jurassic Park II
- Normally, I'm aggravated when people start talking during a movie. On this occasion, more and more people started talking, and their individual conversations were better than the plot, acting, and dialouge. I don't even remember the ending. Did they all die?

Empire Records
- Why does everyone think this was a landmark film? I've seen made-for-TV movies that were more gripping, more interesting, and had better acting, and these were shown on the Lifetime Channel! Don't forget to add a few bits of foul language to give it "indie cred". Tedious and unoriginal in every way.

Scary Movie II
- The first one was kind of funny, since I wasn't expecting much. I sw part of third one at friend's house, and it wasn't as awful as the second one. But yes, SM II was hideous, full of bathroom humor, and well, more bathroom humor. I think there was bathroom humor in it. I actually rented it, and some of the out-takes that were kept out of the movie were funnier than the movie itself!

Killer Clowns from Outer Space
- The title says it all, it's just a classic sucky "horror" film of the 80's. I think the filming budget was the change from a the purchase of a 24-pack of cheap beer and counterfeit 50-dollar bill.

Speed
- Politically correct films don't work. And that's what I call this one: The first P.C. Action Movie...Everyone's represented on a city bus that shouldn't slow down! I have no idea why anyone paid money to see this one. Even the commericials made it look like a hacked-together action film full of pointless chatter. A bus that can't go under 50mph? And an impossibly absurd ending sequence that goes on for about 40 minutes? Ugh...

Dis-honorable Mention:
Toxic Avenger II
- Awful is as awful does. The first one deserves an Oscar™ in comparison.

Driven
- A bad motorsports movie. At least Tarso Marques was in it.

The Net
- The Interweb will take your life from you, since we're all connected. (Sandra Bullock gets to be in two of my selections.)

Kids
- Parents can be easily tricked, too.

Maximum Overdrive
- Comically stupid, except it wasn't intending to be funny. I don't think it intended to be stupid. But a killer 18-wheeler? Now that's awful!

Twin Peaks (not sure if this counts)
- Any movie that "you're supposed to watch five times to get it", doesn't get it.

 

[Famine]

The Arrival 2
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0122961/

Oh my word... They made a SECOND one?

LOTR fellowship of the ring. I walked out of the cinema after 2 hours.
But the 2 following lotr movies wasn't that bad.

*shocked gasp*

I firmly believe no Matrix movie belongs on this list at all.

Democracy works...

The Matrix sequels

The Matrix: Reloaded

The Matrix: Revolutions

The Matrix Revolutions

For reference, I'm happy that people post films from any genre. Fact is, if danoff has three chick-flicks on his list, he's had some compulsion to go and see (or rent) those three chick-flicks. You can at the least extrapolate from this that if he hated chick-flicks, he wouldn't have seen them at all to vote for them...

 

[///M-Spec]

Sorry, but I'm breaking your rules, Fam. Here are 10. And I didn't even see the legendarily bad Battlefield Earth, Showgirls or Ishtar... so I can't have them on my list.

The Thin Red Line
Waterworld
Natural Born Killers
Caligula
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Dungeons and Dragons
Wing Commander
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Highlander 2: The Quickening
Windtalkers

EDIT: Drat... no room for The Age of Innocence and Legends of the Fall.

EDIT AGAIN: Hey, how about a Top 10 Best Actors thread?

M

 

[Pupik]

It sounds as if I've missed nothing by never bothering to see the Matrix sequels. When I found out there would be 2 sequels, I figured it would be a good way to steal money from moviegoers.

It's nice to be right, for once.

 

[Duke]

I'll leave out movies that are intentionally bad (camp has its place), and I'll try to include some from each genre. I will also try to stick with movies that were truly popular or made a splash at their time, and were truly intended to be good, well-made movies. I hate musicals and any movie versions of stage productions (except RHPS), so they're automatically ALL the worst movies ever made. Except for Michael Moore - he's the worst of the worst.

• The Howling - stupid stupid dialog, absolutlely hack plotline, lame SF/X, zero suspense or even startles, and the end? Where the heroine turns into a cute fluffy werewolf on national TV before killing herself? Wallows in lameness. And people actually thought this was scary?
  
  
• Black Knight - Even considering that Martin Lawrence is about as funny as a whoopee cushion, this movie just sucked. From the poop jokes to the medieval booty call, it was stupid stupid stupid and just plain NOT FUNNY. I thought blaxploitation films went out in 1974 - I guess it's supposed to be OK if they make them themselves?
  
  
• The Matrix series - Heresy, I know. The first one is marginally acceptable, and dines out on the visual innovation it ptioneered - except for the incredibly stupid premise that human beings can somehow be used to generate power. A naked human being can't even keep itself warm below about 20 degrees C, let alone generate massive quantities of energy. And that's with 2500 calories a day in food that has to come from somewhere... The others were as stupidly based as the first, but with the coolness factor long since worn off.
  
  
• Maid In Manhattan - actually, this is representing anything Jennifer Lopez has ever been in, with the possible exception of the one where she trains to kill her abusive ex-husband. I would put Gigli on the list here but all I saw was the trailers. Even if you think she's hot (bleagh, I sure don't), there's no possible way that anybody could ever think she can act.
  
  
• Any non-Pixar Disney movie - animated or not, Disney never met a fairy tale they couldn't screw up or a lame plot device they couldn't recycle. Stupid dialog, whiny characters, trite plots - nothing like enshrining and worshipping mediocrity.
  
  
• Dishonorable Mention: Scooby Doo I & II - Even allowing for the nostalgic tint of aging baby-boomers' rose-colored glasses, the original Scooby Doo cartoons were insultingly stupid, and I was 6 bloody years old at the time! Spending millions on a live-action version is nearly unforgiveable, no matter how well-done they might have been.

[edit] OK, I'm up to 6 so far, and I may have to go to 10. Big sarcastic thanks ( ) to ///M-Spec for reminding me of this miserable piece of corn movie that everybody just gushed about:

• Natural Born Killers - Execrable. Horrid. Quite possibly the single worst, most pretentious, most over-wrought, annoyingly-filmed, inanely-written, woodenly-yet-somehow-over-acted, terrible movie ever made. From the smug 'social commentary' to the vertiginous camera angles to the seizure-inducing instant flashbacks, this movie stunk.

 

[capnlarge]

Natural Born Killers.

You officially forfeit your right to exist. Natural Born Killers is an awesome movie. That's like putting Pulp Fiction on a worst movies list. It's blasphemy.

Anyway, I've seen too many bad movies. I'll steer away from Mystery Science Theatre movies, because otherwise my list would be way too long. Although I will point out that "The Castle of Fu Manchu" is probably the worst movie ever made. However, it won't be on my list.

XXX - The movie starts out stupid with Vin Diesel doing huge dirt bike tricks off of seemingly nothing, and it never stops until the end credits thankfully arrive. Throw in ridiculous, semmingly random plot twists and you have a terrible, TERRIBLE movie.

Battlefield Earth - Self-explanatory. It's the best kind of bad movie though, because it was absolutely hilarious to watch. (albeit unintentionally) I would actually recommend everyone see it. It is THAT bad.

Blair Witch Project - Positives: It had lots of swears in it. Negatives: Everything else.

Dungeons & Dragons - As bad as this movie was to the casual viewer, it was EVEN WORSE for someone who actually plays D & D. The best part was how pointless most of the characters were. Main Character: "Oh look a dungeon. You guys stay here, I'll go it alone." Others: "Okay." Lather, rinse, repeat. Also I must mention that in the D & D universe dragons are MORE intelligent than humans by a significant margin. Also the Amidala clone princess in this movie acts almost entirely with her eyebrows. She looked like she was trying to stave off a brain aneurism throught the whole movie.

Lost in Space - Bad CG? Check! Actors from popular TV series? Check! Complete lack of a logical plot? Check! This movie was a trainwreck from start to finish.

 

[livemusic]

So many movies I enjoy are listed here lol

One movie I remember to be really crappy was Speed 2. The first one I liked it.

 

[TB]

Waterworld

M

How could I have forgotten Waterworld? That movie is pure crap.