In an old quote from Jerry Lawler: "A man doesn't know what true happiness is until he's married, and then it's too late".
Note: I don't truly believe this
Gosh, RESHIRAM5, you sure know how to leave us speechless.
I'm glad you don't believe it - and AFAIK you ain't married yet.
While I've got your attention - a very Happy New Year to you, as we spin around for the last time this year circling the Sun in pursuit of happiness.
I'm sorry I couldn't catch up with you especially about anime-related art and fiction - since I've dabbled a bit in it, and it's always interesting to meet a hard core (should I say 'leet'
) aficionado, but here's to a better year of being the very best we can be in that department! 👍
To continue this age-old discussion, then . . .
Happiness and Marriage are not mutually inclusive.
Many people have to get married for reasons other than what usually is taken as marital happiness - conjugal bliss that leads to a family.
Some have to get married to someone because of certain family traditions, or for civic or financial reasons. The happiness they gain from that marriage - that new life - may not have to do a lot with the actual partner. If we were only to judge from the imagination portrayed by the media, then many people get married while still in love with another - to the death.
Do they lead sad lives?
The answer is almost ineffable because of all the variables.
The idea that marriage is a huge chore, regretted after a few years, the old 'ball-and-chain' routine, has been good fodder for comedy - we all like to ridicule the 'married man' or 'the suffering woman'. I have a very old book of jokes whose jokes now would be considered impolite - not from the viewpoint of manners but from the viewpoint of political correctness - and the jokes about marriage would be unheard of or just not making sense anymore.
Why?
The pursuit of happiness has changed of course in its pace and potential output.
Freedoms that affected the contract of marriage have also evolved, and, with the greater wealth of information cultivated by individuals, partners are more savvy at deciding on long term mates.
There are many more positive variables that have evolved in societies - even ones that were closed intellectually and were embracing outdated social mores.
Every year brings exponentially greater chances globally of happiness happening in a marriage today, then say fifty years ago. So the jokes and quotes get outdated, too - and in the end medieval.
Is this then a 'happy' thought?
For unmarried folk, yes. It hearkens them to the fact that being more self-aware in a fast-paced info-world, and heartens them to the fact that if many felt this same way, then the chance of meeting and mutually deciding on commitment with the right person was more likely today.
For married folk - the happiness available today is tenfold. Life is a lot easier, partners are more educated and can communicate needs and objections more freely, as well as because of the wealth of life-experiences available today - whether vacationing. building a business, or running a mission - couples have more with which to bond together - and that bonding only leads to the kind of intimacy that makes a couple one - one happy person.
Some people are impatient for marital happiness.
That takes us back to your quote.
After marriage they regret not having done all those things only the unmarried do - because they spent too much time longing for the happiness only marriage could bring.
I find happiness in the queerest places; the odd action of a child, a mild change in weather, a pleasant film or music record. I have learnt to enjoy these things.
Here is the brick wall.
Here is where we went deeper (those of you who have been here from the beginning will remember the neuroscience discussed) and realised that beyond pleasure was 'something' else.
All the little incidents you mentioned (experiences similar to many others in here) involve a certain amount of 'self-awareness'.
When we're happy, we
know we're happy. There's no doubting it.
