Happiness.

[Michael88]

Recently, I have found a way to acquire a tiny bit of happiness. A month ago I started to go for a walk every other day (no matter the weather conditions), sometimes up to 6 times a week, at least 3 kilometers. Truth be told its not very exciting and the health benefits from just walking around are not terribly great, but that's beside the point - walking works really well for clearing my head. That feels good.

 

[W3H5]

Glad to hear it, Micheal. Walking is indeed a good way to lose yourself a bit and clear the mind.

I find mundane activities can be spiced up with a little challenge thrown in. For example, take your camera and limit yourself to one single photo per walk. That way you’ll be involved in the journey and might have a different experience.

I use Hypermiling as a slight challenge for commuting as it adds some depth to an otherwise boring journey.

 

[kikie]

Recently, I have found a way to acquire a tiny bit of happiness. A month ago I started to go for a walk every other day (no matter the weather conditions), sometimes up to 6 times a week, at least 3 kilometers. Truth be told its not very exciting and the health benefits from just walking around are not terribly great, but that's beside the point - walking works really well for clearing my head. That feels good.

Isn't walking not one of the suggestions I did some time ago? But you didn't want to go out or go for a walk.

You see, always listen to kikie. Depression and Anxiety Thread

 

[Michael88]

Isn't walking not one of the suggestions I did some time ago? But you didn't want to go out or go for a walk.

You see, always listen to kikie. Depression and Anxiety Thread

True, its just a tiny improvement though. It helps my mood go from ''terrible'' to just ''really bad''.

 

[kikie]

True, its just a tiny improvement though. It helps my mood go from ''terrible'' to just ''really bad''.

Like we say in Dutch: alle beetjes helpen. >>> every little thing helps.

 

[GTPVenomZombie]

Tell you all what makes me happy... Everyday I listen to a gig in my earphones, while I look around countries on Google Earth. Go for an hours walk, come back, go on google earth and listen to a Metallica gig in my earphones. Makes me feel great. I'm going to start saving up so I can go to Japan. Have always wanted to go. Everything about that country interests me. So today I've been looking around Japan (Tokyo) on Google Earth while I've been listening to a Metallica gig in my earphones. I've been doing this since lockdowns started last year. It's really had a positive impact on my mental health throughout the pandemic.

 

[kikie]

You know what makes me really happy? When my father says that his pain, which he has every single day, is very low at that particular moment.

His pain is such a pain in the ass and it makes me very unhappy, especially after 7 years of hospital visits and non of the specialist say that they can't help (or maybe they won't help because they worry too much if something goes wrong).

 

[kikie]

 

[Michael88]

 

[W3H5]

I find myself in agreement. Happiness is a mood, not a permanent state. Being able to obtain happiness is great, but it’s equally important to have something to compare it to in order to know that it is indeed happiness and not mediocrity.

I’ve been pleasantly happy in recent weeks due to a number of factors, and while I don’t expect it last indefinitely, I’m certainly appreciative of it while it’s here.

 

[Michael88]

I find myself in agreement. Happiness is a mood, not a permanent state. Being able to obtain happiness is great, but it’s equally important to have something to compare it to in order to know that it is indeed happiness and not mediocrity.

I’ve been pleasantly happy in recent weeks due to a number of factors, and while I don’t expect it last indefinitely, I’m certainly appreciative of it while it’s here.

Thing is, constant happiness leads to complacency, and if you are complacent self improvement stops, nothing moves forward. Look at artists, a lot of them were the most productive when they were going through really bad things in their lives, not when they were happy and content. Heck, Nicola Tesla, one of the greatest minds ever was often lonely and miserable, he was not good with people and his only friend was a dove.
Same thing is true for me, while I'm no genius I get a lot of things done when I'm in a bad mood, and my creativity also peaks in misery, lol.

Of course, being stuck in either extreme for too long will do harm, there needs to be some sort of balance between suck and awesome. Finding that balance for yourself is an important goal.

 

[kikie]

I find myself in agreement. Happiness is a mood, not a permanent state. Being able to obtain happiness is great, but it’s equally important to have something to compare it to in order to know that it is indeed happiness and not mediocrity.

I’ve been pleasantly happy in recent weeks due to a number of factors, and while I don’t expect it last indefinitely, I’m certainly appreciative of it while it’s here.

So true!

Thing is, constant happiness leads to complacency, and if you are complacent self improvement stops, nothing moves forward.

Ipolitely disagree.
When I feel good and happy, I'm much more motivated to do things, to achieve things, to try to improve myself physically, emotionally, psychologically.

Look at artists, a lot of them were the most productive when they were going through really bad things in their lives, not when they were happy and content.

It is impossible to know what other people feel, whatever state they are in (whatever is written about these artists). It is more logical that people are much more motivated when they feel good about themselves which makes them happy.

Heck, Nicola Tesla, one of the greatest minds ever was often lonely and miserable, he was not good with people and his only friend was a dove.

Don't compare people like Tesla with normal people like us. Their brain, Tesla etc ... is completely wired differently. And who knows, maybe Tesla was happy when doing experiments/inventions.

 

[Danoff]

Ipolitely disagree.
When I feel good and happy, I'm much more motivated to do things, to achieve things, to try to improve myself physically, emotionally, psychologically.

I think for most people this is true. Depression is not generally motivating, especially not in a person that is prone to depression. It can be a result of a downward spiral of well-worn thought processes which feed on themselves by demotivating. If it is reset by some external circumstance, but the thought patterns remain, it will re-spiral downward. Some people's mental processes only take them down.

Ultimately, what you want, is a well-worn cognitive response that always takes you up, even from very low positions. External forces can drop you pretty low completely out of your control. But if you've got a healthy response, you'll bring yourself out of it naturally. Well trained professionals can help people identify unhealthy cognitive routines and teach them to break the cycle. But it requires identifying the thought patterns, and actively resisting them until it becomes natural.

 

[W3H5]

External forces can drop you pretty low completely out of your control. But if you've got a healthy response, you'll bring yourself out of it naturally.

This would be stoiscm in a nutshell.
The acceptance of fate/ occurrences, no matter what happens, if you have no control over that, why be upset?

I have spent a lot of my adult life reading into the works of Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Alan Watts, etc. Their musing are fascinating and their reasoning is fairly solid.

I have come to conclude, from them, that the present is important, embrace it. The future is unknown, prepare for it. And the past is unchangeable, learn from it.
But at no point in these actions take anything too seriously because it’s all a game and ultimately it might as well be fun rather than a hassle.

 

[Danoff]

This would be stoiscm in a nutshell.
The acceptance of fate/ occurrences, no matter what happens, if you have no control over that, why be upset?

I have spent a lot of my adult life reading into the works of Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Alan Watts, etc. Their musing are fascinating and their reasoning is fairly solid.

I have come to conclude, from them, that the present is important, embrace it. The future is unknown, prepare for it. And the past is unchangeable, learn from it.
But at no point in these actions take anything too seriously because it’s all a game and ultimately it might as well be fun rather than a hassle.

It's not exactly what I was saying, but it's definitely related. Being steady emotionally can certainly be helpful, especially in stressful circumstances. It can also be harmful, or poorly implemented, if someone is denying themselves emotional expression, which can result in a very unhealthy cognitive dissonance. It kinda depends on how "steady" is being accomplished.

I'm more discussing what happens when you can't be or otherwise aren't stoic. When you are perturbed, and emotionally wrecked, how does your brain respond? Does it feed on that state and hold you down, or take you down farther? Or perhaps does it habitually raise you out?

 

[W3H5]

I’ve been hesitant to bring it up, but having dealt with the death of a close family member in the recent past, I think stoicism has helped me.

Not just that I mourned and got passed it, not even that I’ve ignored it and put it out of my mind. I think I just have accepted the death (of someone very close to me) as a necessity of life. The main quote that springs to mind is “Do not think of them as dead, but returned to the state in which they were before life” … to paraphrase.

I think stoicism comes from within. It’s not an extroverted virtue, but something that one keeps to themselves for the benefit of themselves. It’s all well and good claiming to feel nothing of a certain situation, but being able to actual feel, and master the feelings as to not disrupt normality, is the key to stoicism.

 

[Danoff]

I’ve been hesitant to bring it up, but having dealt with the death of a close family member in the recent past, I think stoicism has helped me.

Not just that I mourned and got passed it, not even that I’ve ignored it and put it out of my mind. I think I just have accepted the death (of someone very close to me) as a necessity of life. The main quote that springs to mind is “Do not think of them as dead, but returned to the state in which they were before life” … to paraphrase.

I think stoicism comes from within. It’s not an extroverted virtue, but something that one keeps to themselves for the benefit of themselves. It’s all well and good claiming to feel nothing of a certain situation, but being able to actual feel, and master the feelings as to not disrupt normality, is the key to stoicism.

I'm really glad that this has helped you with your circumstances, and I hope that it continues to help.

I'm not a therapist, I have no formal training in this area, so take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt. What you described does not immediately strike me as a long term solution. Maybe it is, and I can't suss that out from a paragraph description, but the way this is coming across to me is emotional shutdown, which is not healthy, and potentially not sustainable. I believe, and again this is without formal training - just a person on the internet jabbering - that optimally you give yourself freedom to experience your emotions and can do so without experiencing destructive effects in your life, especially long term destructive impacts. There are trained professionals that can help with this. Maybe this is what you were trying to describe and I just didn't see it.

 

[MatskiMonk]

Pitched up, with a beer, at a motor racing circuit, the sun is setting and there's two days of touring car action. Not gonna lie, this is about as close to happiness as I've been for a couple years.

 

[noshog]

I’ve been hesitant to bring it up, but having dealt with the death of a close family member in the recent past, I think stoicism has helped me.

Not just that I mourned and got passed it, not even that I’ve ignored it and put it out of my mind. I think I just have accepted the death (of someone very close to me) as a necessity of life. The main quote that springs to mind is “Do not think of them as dead, but returned to the state in which they were before life” … to paraphrase.

I think stoicism comes from within. It’s not an extroverted virtue, but something that one keeps to themselves for the benefit of themselves. It’s all well and good claiming to feel nothing of a certain situation, but being able to actual feel, and master the feelings as to not disrupt normality, is the key to stoicism.

I'm really glad that this has helped you with your circumstances, and I hope that it continues to help.

I'm not a therapist, I have no formal training in this area, so take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt. What you described does not immediately strike me as a long term solution. Maybe it is, and I can't suss that out from a paragraph description, but the way this is coming across to me is emotional shutdown, which is not healthy, and potentially not sustainable. I believe, and again this is without formal training - just a person on the internet jabbering - that optimally you give yourself freedom to experience your emotions and can do so without experiencing destructive effects in your life, especially long term destructive impacts. There are trained professionals that can help with this. Maybe this is what you were trying to describe and I just didn't see it.

@W3HS I thought I'd chime in here because I've been in the exact same boat recently too... I think you are actually on the right track here, for me this is something I have been figuring out for myself... Carry on with this path in a way, but (this bit is why I've quoted Danoff) I do think you have to be careful... You have to be honest and understand yourself, understand the emotions you need to deal with so you can keep moving forward, understand the ones that are caused by things that are out of your control and dragging you down... Work out the bits that will hold you back with those negative emotions, deal with them/learn from them... then switch back to focus on the emotions that do push you forward, the ones that help you grow and learn. I think once you figure these kinds of things out you find this balance thing everyone talks about... I don't know if what I've said makes full sense as I've never tried to put it into writing before (and didn't want a wall of text), I'm still trying to fully work it all out myself too, but I do feel I am on the right path (well, for me anyway).

Actually I will expand on all this...
I think one of the things that has helped me get on this path is a saying I saw about 10 years ago... 'Your mind has the power to change the future' I thought about that on many different levels, and figured the only way that could be true is if it was positive thoughts only, so worked on understanding how to keep these negative thoughts and emotions under control.
I'm not saying I'm right, I'm not saying this stoicism is right, but a willingness to explore will help find the path that suits you because at the end of the day only you will know what is the path that feels right for you.

 

[W3H5]

emotional shutdown

I still “feel” the negative emotions, it’s just that I’m aware of them, and I’m learning to accept that they’re part of life.

In my youth I had problems with emotion. Anger which would manifest as rage springs to mind. Now that I’m older I have more control over the emotions. I know I can’t really stop feeling them, but I can choose how I react to them.

View attachment 1016803

Pitched up, with a beer, at a motor racing circuit, the sun is setting and there's two days of touring car action. Not gonna lie, this is about as close to happiness as I've been for a couple years.

You’ve inspired me to plan a camping trip.

I don't know if what I've said makes full sense

It makes sense.

It can be hard to explain, almost as if it’s an element of wisdom that can only be learnt but not expressed fully. Control over ones own conscious thoughts might be considered a skill that many are yet to learn.

I wouldn’t say I’ve fully grasped it, but it’s something I’m working on for the sake enjoying life. As I grow older I realise more and more each day how short life really is and it seems shameful to spend so much of it dwelling on things that are outside of my immediate control.

 

[photonrider]

....................

But at no point in these actions take anything too seriously because it’s all a game and ultimately it might as well be fun rather than a hassle.

How true, my dear Sean.

 

[photonrider]

Wowsers, @Jordan. The site always gets better and better. Thank you!

This would be stoiscm in a nutshell.
.................................XsnipX..................

Sean, when you mentioned Epitectus, you put it in a nutshell for me. But is it a thread that runs globally though the populations; are we all either Stoics or Epicureans? I know - there is always a core of Skeptics (and many other rather more obscure disciplines) that will pepper the populations with diverse perspectives on 'well-being' (in the sense mens sana in copore sano as well as joie de vivre) yet it seems however much we let Aristotle rule our lives, or escape into Spinoza's dream, we end up on one or the other of this spectrum - Stoic or Epicurean. What do you think?

View attachment 1016803

Pitched up, with a beer, at a motor racing circuit, the sun is setting and there's two days of touring car action. Not gonna lie, this is about as close to happiness as I've been for a couple years.

Not gonna lie: jealous. But sharing the happiness, too. I'll be doing a lot of this in the near future; a few months away from retirement now. 👍

We've come a long way in this discussion - a reread can actually make one dizzy - so a lot of what she says in the video is 'same old, same old' but what is interesting (accepting all the subjectivity involved) is that a pattern emerges: take a look at the top countries:
Could we note a particular demographic? Is there merely a 'socio-economic' slant to it - the level of personal/physical comfort taken as . . . 'happiness' ?
Canada, U.S.A, Costa Rica, Denmark, Netherlands, Iceland, U.K., Ireland, Belgium, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Norway, Sweden, Germany, Czech Republic, Australia, Israel, Australia, New Zealand . . . and, of course, top-gun, Finland . . . what do all these have in common (apart from the obvious 'these are white countries'- if we were to ignore Costa Rica and Canada)? As was concluded - key ingredients in the national level of well-being (or 'happiness' as is labelled here) are:

Freedom. Sufficient income. A level of trust within society. A longer life-expectancy, in a society that was supportive, and generous.

There is, then, great irony in this - brought home forcefully in her concluding words, yet seductively disguised as fact: that happiness is personal.

The data shows that the level of personal happiness depends on us all - as a society.

 

[Danoff]

The data shows that the level of personal happiness depends on us all - as a society.

It's two things being conflated into one. You can be unhappy because of external events, and you can be unhappy because of the way your brain is shaped. Granted they can mix, external events can shape your brain.

A person with a healthy mind can be sent into depression by external events. And a person in a wonderful environment can be sent into depression by internal events. You can't control everything, but you have to work on what is within your control.

 

[photonrider]

It's two things being conflated into one........XsnipX

Exactly. (1) Happiness is personal. (2) Happiness is secure survival.

__________________________________


(Putting Wittgenstein (blasphemy!) and his game of words aside for the moment, and listening closely to her) obviously these opinions randomly mixed with the data (lists, charts and all) are presented as a 'reality' - the currents events of our time - and what the 'listeners' should believe.

Even if we are to be clear enough to sort out 'pleasure' from 'happiness' (as outlined in previous posts), even if we have now proven that not all of the brain is active simultaneously (it cannot for instance be conscious of depression and gratefulness at the same time), and even if we can now engage in brain implants to activate the 'happiness' areas of the brain (again as outlined in previous posts) we come to this conclusion - 'Happiness' (whatever it is to the particular individual) remains a conscious event that is personal - however: the brain needs to be in a comfortable position before these areas can be activated.

This explains (for me) why people engage in a particular physical activity (secure pleasure) that leads them to activate those areas of the (now cooled-off) brain that lock into the 'present moment' - there are many terms for this; 'zoning in', 'gapped out', 'stoned', 'satori' - a moment that is neither mental (forward and backward analysis) or physical (pain/pleasure) but is a moment of ecstasy one is conscious of in the 'other' brain - the heart. And then recalled mentally only when one returns (as they say) to their 'senses'.

When I see someone go fishing or camping or off to see the races, I see them as people using pleasure - but towards the pursuit of this satori-like happiness. Obviously a stable society provides individuals with more opportunity to securely engage in the individual physical activities that take them towards that goal.

Having said that - I also know people who rock gently on their porches, eyes closed, a smile on their faces - and they are happy merely remembering . . . a sort of brain in the head fueling the brain in the heart . . . until all systems shut down.

Certainly, happiness is personal, even if it's only a rocking chair on one's own porch. Helps a lot, though, to have nice neighbors . . . and no shots fired.
🙂