My stance is definitely built around hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. Realistically the chances of a healthy child reaching self sufficiency is good in places with modern healthcare and rights protections, but I think it's always worth asking yourself what you would do if you or your child end up unlucky and stuck in a tough situation. Agreed that anything further is better suited for a different thread.
I was trying to figure out where is the best place for this discussion. It seemed like it made sense in the abortion thread, or maybe even a new thread about adoption and family custody. But I suppose this is also a pretty decent place given that it touches so much on the cost of healthcare.
Personal responsibility is a big soap box of mine, and you and I are largely aligned on that point. When pregnancy is something that can happen to you, even against your will, personal responsibility exits the stage. It's definitely not appropriate to think of pregnancy automatically as something someone is responsible for and must take responsibility for. So the idea that a mother can be saddled with a lifetime of healthcare needs from a child that was forced upon her is... perverse. For this scenario I need only imagine a rape victim in Texas (or similar state) who is pregnant with a child who has some kind of severe medical need. To anyone who is thinking "but adoption", keep in mind that the mother must be willing to select an adoptive family, and for a child with severe medical needs, the options may be limited or in some cases even not exist.
The burden of a parent (of all kinds) is only part of the reason, of course, why abortion must remain legal. And why adoption must remain legal. But beyond this, who can possibly afford to take the risk of having a child?
Generally people who are ready to start a family are young, maybe in their 30s or late 20s. They have jobs, but are not assumed to be wildly wealthy. They might be able to be assumed to have access to some kind of medical insurance, but of course layoffs and unemployment is a thing. Who are we expecting to be prepared to take the risk that they'll be essentially a servant to a child with severe needs for the rest of their lives? With the alternative being hoping that someone else will take your burden?
If anything, this argues, and I would suggest there are many good reasons for this, that children should have their own minimum healthcare standard which the state is willing to assume. In China, orphanages exist where children with needs can be cared for and educated for the rest of their lives. The only catch to that is that to get your kid in you either need to die or be a criminal (because you cannot legally give up your child).
Choosing to be pregnant is choosing to take on a great responsibility and service for another individual (the child). Compounding it with so much financial and personal loss risks people being unwilling to take on this role, and it is an important role.
Here's my recommendation for this issue:
1) Abortion must be legal
2) Adoption must be legal
3) Institutionalization options for children with severe needs should exist (also for the elderly, different thread I suppose)
4) Some kind of partial institutionalization for children with severe needs probably also makes sense. I'm imagining parents retaining custody while children receive institutional services like health and education.