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Jewish GTP members represent!
- Thread starter High-Test
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- photonrider
L'Shana Tovah! Guys, have a joyful and blessed time celebrating your life. Happy New Year!
Harry.
- 4,735
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- FlyingAGasoline
Friends, the high holy days are yet again upon us. And I've been in a state of unusually serene clarity tonight. A few thoughts, if you will permit.
Soon, we will party like it's 5776. It is not the Shofar that jars one out of complacency - it is the quiet anticipation. Those moments of reflection. It's like an odometer, but one that asks "hey what did we do?" before the number changes. What did we do? Where are we going? Would I make a decent case for myself to be inscribed in the book of life?
I have grown distant from my Jewish community. Pittsburg has no synagogue, Joplin has one, but it's the one I'd build on a deserted island and tell visitors not to go to. I started my conversion process six years ago to find enlightenment. Four years ago, I finished. I was a Jew. The convert's zeal has abated mostly. But it is my thought processes that are changing. There was a time when things got ugly with mental health issues. It was all of 2013. I was quick to anger, emotionally unstable, and cursed the day I was born. Yet. I've been blessed to have been led out of that wilderness. 2014 was an exercise in rebuilding confidence. 2015 has so far been more of the same, though in other aspects. I managed to shot-in-the-dark a grad school, go to a new place where I knew nobody, and manage to have a social circle. there was a time I thought that impossible, despite having done it repeatedly before. Things... are working. The future is bright, though my nose is buried in books. I am no longer despondent over the things that are missing, rather, I'm delighted for the things that are in place. Blessed indeed is the God who sustained us and allowed us to reach this place.
Anyone got any resolutions?
Soon, we will party like it's 5776. It is not the Shofar that jars one out of complacency - it is the quiet anticipation. Those moments of reflection. It's like an odometer, but one that asks "hey what did we do?" before the number changes. What did we do? Where are we going? Would I make a decent case for myself to be inscribed in the book of life?
I have grown distant from my Jewish community. Pittsburg has no synagogue, Joplin has one, but it's the one I'd build on a deserted island and tell visitors not to go to. I started my conversion process six years ago to find enlightenment. Four years ago, I finished. I was a Jew. The convert's zeal has abated mostly. But it is my thought processes that are changing. There was a time when things got ugly with mental health issues. It was all of 2013. I was quick to anger, emotionally unstable, and cursed the day I was born. Yet. I've been blessed to have been led out of that wilderness. 2014 was an exercise in rebuilding confidence. 2015 has so far been more of the same, though in other aspects. I managed to shot-in-the-dark a grad school, go to a new place where I knew nobody, and manage to have a social circle. there was a time I thought that impossible, despite having done it repeatedly before. Things... are working. The future is bright, though my nose is buried in books. I am no longer despondent over the things that are missing, rather, I'm delighted for the things that are in place. Blessed indeed is the God who sustained us and allowed us to reach this place.
Anyone got any resolutions?
- 9,262
- Corsham
- lipming
I'm quite curious about Judaism, it's not a religion I know much about and as a committed Christian I feel I should since we share a common heritage. Do you sing hymns and have sermons during worship services? Do Jews believe in Heaven and Hell? Are Jews expected to uphold the Mosaic Law?
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- FlyingAGasoline
- 4,735
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- FlyingAGasoline
There are indeed sermons and liturgical music. Heaven and hell? not as phrased, given that I can get where you are coming from. There is the world to come, in which all righteous people shall have a place, so it isn't an exclusivist club like Protestantism or the Ben-Gurion Lounge at JFK Airport. Hell... no. The problem with Torah is that there aren't ten commandments. There are 613 of them. As the temple is gone, ~170 no longer apply. Performing mitzvot is the Jewish way, BUT if breaking any number of them will save a life, then they are expected to be broken. The "Golden rule" wasn't Jesus. It was R. Hillel who said "That which is hateful unto you, do not do unto your neighbor. That is the whole of the Torah. The rest is commentary. Now go out and learn."
@Blitz24 , I cannot stand the east coast. It bothers me.
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- FlyingAGasoline
Them's fightin' words right there now.
We don't get asked for money.
Otherwise, I'm not quite sure how to answer that. My apologies. It would depend on denomination on either side, and I'm not all that familiar with Orthodox services. Suppose I were to compare a reform service to a methodist service, I would still have to ask another question. Which services are we comparing? Shabbat morning and erev shabbat are quite different. They were designed to be. It's the same with a traditional worship service and a contemporary worship service. I'm afraid that without a more specific question about the differences, it is not possible to give your question the thoughtful answer that it deserves. 
Again, my apologies. Blitz? halp?As for those not inheriting the world to come - "Hell is a washing machine for the soul" is about all I can think of.
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- photonrider
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- Blitzbay
I can't answer for the Christian side because that would mean I have a familiarity and good understanding of Christianity. I have never been to a church for a service so I couldn't give a real opinion. From what I see though as an outsider (and being Orthodox) I would say that the Orthodox services would be a bit more spiritual because of what is given up during the services (in terms of the Shabbat restrictions).Them's fightin' words right there now.
We don't get asked for money.
As for those not inheriting the world to come - "Hell is a washing machine for the soul" is about all I can think of.
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- photonrider
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- Blitzbay
Reform. Orthodox would think you're crazy.
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- photonrider
Can you tell I love Jewish jokes.
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- FlyingAGasoline
Rabbi Cohen and Father O'Malley are having their Monday afternoon lunch. Rabbi Cohen gets a look in his eye and asks
"Father, you're a good guy. I've known you ten years and I only ever see you doing good. When they gonna make you bishop?"
Father O'Malley blushes. "That's so kind of you, Rabbi. Maybe with another decade of service to the Lord, then they might make me bishop."
"Okay, how long after that until you're cardinal?"
Father O'Malley's nose twitches a bit. "It would take even more meritorious service to the lord. Twenty, thirty years after that!"
"Think you could be pope, Neil?"
Father O'Malley's eyes narrow. "Steve, are you pulling my leg? That would take decades as cardinal, and I'd have to win the election! That's absurd."
Rabbi Cohen sits stone-faced across from his friend, listening in rapt attention. He speaks calmly and evenly. "But the real question, my friend, is do you think, at one point in the distant future, that you could become Jesus?"
Father O'Malley spits out his tea. "Absolutely not!"
Rabbi Cohen retorts "Why not? One of my people did it."
EDIT: found this one:
One Sabbath, Joseph discovers a gay shul in Hendon. He's very excited. It is exactly what he had been looking for. There's a gay cantor and a gay Rabbi, and even the congregation is mostly gay. So with a happy heart, Joseph sits down and joins in the service.
Soon, however, he just can’t help noticing the handsome young man sitting next to him. Hard as he tries, he can’t stop himself – Joseph puts his hand on the young man's knee.
Immediately two large men rush over to Joseph, pick him up, quickly carry him out of the shul and forcibly throw him out into the street.
As he picks himself up, Joseph says, "Why on earth did you have to do that? I thought this was a gay synagogue."
"It is," one of them replied in a deep voice. "But nobody messes with the rebbetzin."
"Father, you're a good guy. I've known you ten years and I only ever see you doing good. When they gonna make you bishop?"
Father O'Malley blushes. "That's so kind of you, Rabbi. Maybe with another decade of service to the Lord, then they might make me bishop."
"Okay, how long after that until you're cardinal?"
Father O'Malley's nose twitches a bit. "It would take even more meritorious service to the lord. Twenty, thirty years after that!"
"Think you could be pope, Neil?"
Father O'Malley's eyes narrow. "Steve, are you pulling my leg? That would take decades as cardinal, and I'd have to win the election! That's absurd."
Rabbi Cohen sits stone-faced across from his friend, listening in rapt attention. He speaks calmly and evenly. "But the real question, my friend, is do you think, at one point in the distant future, that you could become Jesus?"
Father O'Malley spits out his tea. "Absolutely not!"
Rabbi Cohen retorts "Why not? One of my people did it."
EDIT: found this one:
One Sabbath, Joseph discovers a gay shul in Hendon. He's very excited. It is exactly what he had been looking for. There's a gay cantor and a gay Rabbi, and even the congregation is mostly gay. So with a happy heart, Joseph sits down and joins in the service.
Soon, however, he just can’t help noticing the handsome young man sitting next to him. Hard as he tries, he can’t stop himself – Joseph puts his hand on the young man's knee.
Immediately two large men rush over to Joseph, pick him up, quickly carry him out of the shul and forcibly throw him out into the street.
As he picks himself up, Joseph says, "Why on earth did you have to do that? I thought this was a gay synagogue."
"It is," one of them replied in a deep voice. "But nobody messes with the rebbetzin."
Last edited:
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- photonrider
I dipped in rather hurriedly last night for a quick browse of the Strip and dived in here first. Well, that was the end of my browsing - I was laughing so hard that i had to shut my laptop and walk away - and thereafter it was fresh paroxysms of laughter, wave upon wave, every five minutes or so as a new bit of irony hit me.
You are incorrigible.
Meanwhile to make it worse at the back of my mind I hear the Reform Rabbi saying: "B'rakhah? What's a B'rakhah? Oh! Is that a Ferrari?"
You are incorrigible.
Meanwhile to make it worse at the back of my mind I hear the Reform Rabbi saying: "B'rakhah? What's a B'rakhah? Oh! Is that a Ferrari?"
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