Jokes!!
- Thread starter DQuaN
- 4,701 comments
- 724,582 views
- 2,863
- Pittsburgh, PA
- Leadfoot530
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
- 20,681
- TenEightyOne
- TenEightyOne
- 36,692
- Scotland
- GTP_daan
As both lasses and lassies come from a time when not much was written down, how can you say which is correct?"lassies" is the correct spelling. Sorry
As you were...
Many a Scots word is just badly spelled English anyway.
- 20,681
- TenEightyOne
- TenEightyOne
They're both from old-Norse, the spelling of lasqa (and lassie in Finnish) is recorded a long way back. In each case the pronunciation that's handed down defines the final spelling in this type of "old" word. I take your point about misspelt words though
Anyway, I should tell a joke now...
A rich Sheikh's son goes to Germany to study. A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: "Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train."
Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar check saying: "Stop embarrassing us, go and buy yourself a train."
- 19,013
- Jersey V.1.0
- axletramp
I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. "Really" she said, "Go on then... try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts but totally worth it.
Cost me a kick in the nuts but totally worth it.
- 27,219
- United Kingdom
Glass coffins have just hit the market.
Will they be a success? Remains to be seen.
Will they be a success? Remains to be seen.
- 29,350
- Glasgow
- GTP_Mars
What did the octogenarian pirate say?
Aye Matey!
Aye Matey!
- 19,013
- Jersey V.1.0
- axletramp
Five Important Qualities in Women:
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
- 11,639
- Intercourse, PA
- Carbonox
Joke may be a little icky for some, so inserting spoiler tags..
A man (let's call him Dave) walks into a restaurant and notices another man looking a bit under the weather, not even touching the plate of soup he's got on his table. The soup looks delicious, so Dave decides to make an offer for the stranger.
"Do you mind if I eat that for you?"
"Go ahead." the stranger says apathetically.
So Dave sits down and begins eating the soup. It's just as delicious as it looked. However, just as he's about to finish the plate, he finally notices that there's a comb in the bottom.
Dave immediately throws up all of the soup back on the plate.
The other man, still at the scene, looks at him and says: "That's how far I got too."
"Do you mind if I eat that for you?"
"Go ahead." the stranger says apathetically.
So Dave sits down and begins eating the soup. It's just as delicious as it looked. However, just as he's about to finish the plate, he finally notices that there's a comb in the bottom.
Dave immediately throws up all of the soup back on the plate.
The other man, still at the scene, looks at him and says: "That's how far I got too."
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