Jokes!!
- Thread starter DQuaN
- 4,700 comments
- 724,004 views
- 239
- United States
- TheRoadRunner36
- Bacon Bob 36
What do you call watermelon in California?
Melon, California doesn't have water...
Melon, California doesn't have water...
- 29,306
- Glasgow
- GTP_Mars
A man has died after falling from his roof after fixing a television aerial. His funeral wasn't very good, but the reception was excellent.
- 2,859
- Australia
A bit like that water skier's funeral. The service itself was a drag, but the wake was good.
- 1,282
- Kidlington
- GC255
Some medical advice.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines, but cats can.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines, but cats can.
- 6,284
- Ottawa
- Pyano1132
What did the man with the terrible dad-jokes say to his son when they were reunited ten years after the war?
You've groan, son!
You've groan, son!
- 2,308
- United States
- monkeylima
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
A rip off.
Obelisk
Premium
- 9,762
- United States
- RMedia_Obelisk
...OUCH.
- 2,863
- Pittsburgh, PA
- Leadfoot530
Reminds me of this one:
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
Obelisk
Premium
- 9,762
- United States
- RMedia_Obelisk
Poor Richard.
The87Dodge
(Banned)
- 3,186
- Seattle, WA
- rizkeat
Corny joke: What is a Dodge Aries's favorite genre of music?
K-Pop.
K-Pop.
Obelisk
Premium
- 9,762
- United States
- RMedia_Obelisk
The door is behind you. Don't hit your head on the way out.
The87Dodge
(Banned)
- 3,186
- Seattle, WA
- rizkeat
- 15,994
- United Kingdom
- haitch40
- Xbox?
He is saying he thinks your joke is awful.
The87Dodge
(Banned)
- 3,186
- Seattle, WA
- rizkeat
The87Dodge
(Banned)
- 3,186
- Seattle, WA
- rizkeat
10 puns entered a contest? Which one won?
No pun intended.
No pun intended.
- 35,368
- Downtown North Dakota
- Cy-Fi
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old says, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
The87Dodge
(Banned)
- 3,186
- Seattle, WA
- rizkeat
What happened to Sine when Cosine beat him in a race?
Sine went off on a tangent.
Sine went off on a tangent.
Obelisk
Premium
- 9,762
- United States
- RMedia_Obelisk
The87Dodge
(Banned)
- 3,186
- Seattle, WA
- rizkeat
- 239
- United States
- TheRoadRunner36
- Bacon Bob 36
How do you use pigonometry?
You use swine, coswine, and hamgent...
You use swine, coswine, and hamgent...
- 966
- Tennessee
- Bobert962C
I think my cat is a communist...
He won't shut up about Mao
He won't shut up about Mao
- 38,930
- Application hell
- MP-Omnis
Nya, I don't think so.
- 617
- United States
- Boston77Bruins
2 men applying for the same job pass the interviews with 100%.
The employer is stumped on who to hire. He decides to have each of them write a short poem. But there is a catch. The poem has to end with the words Timbukto.
He reads the first one.
Across burning desert sands, stinging winds of heat, and skies of blue,
We arrive at our destination, Timbukto.
The employer thought it was fascinating.. He reads the second.
Tim and I a hunting went,
Found 3 women in a tent,
When they 3 and us 2,
I bucked one and Tim bucked two
Groan
The employer is stumped on who to hire. He decides to have each of them write a short poem. But there is a catch. The poem has to end with the words Timbukto.
He reads the first one.
Across burning desert sands, stinging winds of heat, and skies of blue,
We arrive at our destination, Timbukto.
The employer thought it was fascinating.. He reads the second.
Tim and I a hunting went,
Found 3 women in a tent,
When they 3 and us 2,
I bucked one and Tim bucked two
Groan
- 15,393
- TRAPPIST-1g
- ProjectWHaT
The EU now has 1 GB of free space. 
Similar threads
