My Mom Has Cancer! (Need Advice)!

[Chris30]

Absolutely crazy.

What is? Anyways, thank you guys for the advice but it's really my mom's decision and the doctor's what they decide to do. I'm just supporting and loving her every step of the way. Please keep praying though and sending positive vibes. Thank you for the support, at least you all care more than my unsupportive grandparents. I never thought this would happen, but I got fooled. I need to step up and be the man I'm supposed to be.

 

[Omnis]

Absolutely crazy.

I think it works that way mainly because the most common way to wind up in the ER is through a car accident. If you snap your leg in half, you'll need to be admitted to be put back together in the morning. Health plans will concede admissions like these because it's the auto insurance that will be the primary payor for the incurred medical expenses. But, of course, it leaves an open door for people to game the system. The hospital loses money but that's the trade-off they make in exchange for sovereign immunity.

 

[opelgt1969]

What is? Anyways, thank you guys for the advice but it's really my mom's decision and the doctor's what they decide to do. I'm just supporting and loving her every step of the way. Please keep praying though and sending positive vibes. Thank you for the support, at least you all care more than my unsupportive grandparents. I never thought this would happen, but I got fooled. I need to step up and be the man I'm supposed to be.

The main thing you will have to do is to be there to support your mom whatever her decision she chooses.

 

[W3H5]

Praying for you and your ma, Chris. Stay strong.

Lean on the community some more if you need help, looks like some members here are pretty well versed on the US medical system.

 

[HenrySwanson]

What is? Anyways, thank you guys for the advice but it's really my mom's decision and the doctor's what they decide to do. I'm just supporting and loving her every step of the way. Please keep praying though and sending positive vibes. Thank you for the support, at least you all care more than my unsupportive grandparents. I never thought this would happen, but I got fooled. I need to step up and be the man I'm supposed to be.

I've lived in the UK all my life so the thought of having to do that to access care is really sad. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[W3H5]

I've lived in the UK all my life so the thought of having to do that to access care is really sad. Good luck and keep us posted.

Having lived in the UK with the NHS and with for profit health care here in Thailand, I can honestly say I prefer the latter. That said, the medical care here is top tier, like 4th in the world or something.

 

[Chris30]

Hey everyone, I have good news, my mom spent three hours at her appointment Thursday with the oncologist, she is nice, the doctor gave her a hug because we have no support plus my mom has been through a lot, she will turn 55 next June. Anyways, they did some more extensive testing, and found out that she has an 18-inch tumor/mass in her stomach/gall bladder, the size of a basketball. The oncologist started a treatment plan for her. Next Saturday she has to have a biopsy done to start the chemotherapy. She has to go to the Cancer center three times every three weeks to do chemotherapy. It's the only way of shrinking the mass so the doctors/nurses can remove it in the ER. I will go stay with her, so I'll be away for a few days. However I'll bring my laptop to the ER so I can update you guys on how she's doing.

I'll have to step up and be the man of the house after her surgery because I'll have to help her get up, get her food/supplies and get any packages in that we order. So my Playstation time will have to be curbed.

 

[HenrySwanson]

Hey everyone, I have good news, my mom spent three hours at her appointment Thursday with the oncologist, she is nice, the doctor gave her a hug because we have no support plus my mom has been through a lot, she will turn 55 next June. Anyways, they did some more extensive testing, and found out that she has an 18-inch tumor/mass in her stomach/gall bladder, the size of a basketball. The oncologist started a treatment plan for her. Next Saturday she has to have a biopsy done to start the chemotherapy. She has to go to the Cancer center three times every three weeks to do chemotherapy. It's the only way of shrinking the mass so the doctors/nurses can remove it in the ER. I will go stay with her, so I'll be away for a few days. However I'll bring my laptop to the ER so I can update you guys on how she's doing.

I'll have to step up and be the man of the house after her surgery because I'll have to help her get up, get her food/supplies and get any packages in that we order. So my Playstation time will have to be curbed.

That's....very, very big.

 

[Dave A]

Very sorry to hear about your situation. Both of my parents have recent been diagnosed, my father with prostate and my mother with kidney cancer. The doctors will be the ones who will know what is best medically, the best thing you can do, is be there for your mum, be available to look after her when she's having her treatment/after surgery and support whatever decisions she makes.

It's OK to do research, but different people and different forms of cancer affect people differently and there are a lot of variables at play. IMO, the best things are to be prepared for how the treatment and surgery will likely impact your mum and plan ahead what assistance she might need during her recovery period.

 

[Touring Mars]

My mom went to the doctor Friday morning and they did some CT scans and tests and found two big masses in her stomach/bladder, one was 5-inches and the other was a little smaller than that

they did some more extensive testing, and found out that she has an 18-inch tumor/mass in her stomach/gall bladder, the size of a basketball.

I sincerely hope that your Mom is not in too much discomfort and gets the treatment she needs, but there's clearly something seriously wrong with how her treatment is being handled thus far. The quotes above cannot both be true, and hence someone has either made a monumental error (though it's hard to see how a basketball-sized tumor could possibly be missed in a CT scan) or the information you are getting is inaccurate.

turns out she has Stage 4 prostate cancer which is serious.

I'm also struggling with this comment to be honest. As others have pointed out, your Mom cannot possibly have prostate cancer (unless she was born male), but I also don't understand how someone goes to their doctor Friday and has a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis by Sunday - what was the basis of the cancer diagnosis, and who told you it was prostate cancer - or was this just a mistake on your account? The diagnosis part is baffling though, especially if it turns out that the person/people doing the analysis can somehow miss a tumor the size of a basketball.

Very sorry to hear about your situation. Both of my parents have recent been diagnosed, my father with prostate and my mother with kidney cancer. The doctors will be the ones who will know what is best medically, the best thing you can do, is be there for your mum, be available to look after her when she's having her treatment/after surgery and support whatever decisions she makes.

Sorry to hear that Dave - having aging parents is not easy, and I hope they both get the treatment they need.

 

[Barney Da Dog]

Fingers crossed they can treat it and remove it or at least keep her comfortable for a long time yet 🤞

My own mother had cancer twice when I was a kid - too young to remember it really. She had the all-clear for 20 years. It was Parkinsons and dementia that ended her life, and my dad now has it too. Docs gave him 2 weeks, but that was nearly a year ago 😳

 

[skydragon49]

Chris,

First of all, I'm depply sorry for this.

I've seen this disease happening within my family twice. The path ahead of you it's not an easy one.

However I gotta say to you that discovering cancer doesn't mean the battle ahead is already lost. It means the battle is only at the beginning.

If I could share anything else, I'd say be there with your Mom as much as possible. Be the support she needs during her treatment procedures and keep her spirits up. Not only the medical treatment is important but also the psychological aspect plays a big role. Be there for her in these two fronts.

Wish you all the strenght needed for this moment, and wish you Mother can beat cancer as well.

 

[Chris30]

Thank you everyone for the care and support, we really don't have a large support network where we live.