You really hit the nail on the head. I experienced everything you did EXACTLY the same way.
The physics have significant bugs that completely mar the game. Online races are usually about who crashes the least. And Im talking about single car crashes. Not because the game is too real and difficult, but because finishing a race is about surviving the minefield of physics bugs in the game more then it is mastering control of your car and the racing line.
One of the biggest complaints I have is the replication of corner entry, mid corner, and corner exit oversteer/understeer. PCARS physics are only slightly better then the standard physics of GT5 Prologue in this regard. The way a car feels when it enters and exits a corner should be predictable once you've spent time with a particular car/track/setup combo. I feel this is something Gran Turismo's physics replicated very well. Any transition of oversteer/understeer from corner entry, mid corner, to corner exit was predictable and the transition from one to the next was smooth.
In contrast PCARS will violently shift from understeer to wicked oversteer to brutal understeer in abrupt succession through any corner of any speed. This results in the front end of the car pivoting back and forth in an extremely unrealistic manner ala GT5 Prologue standard physics.
If the physics do not offer predictable corner entry, mid corner, and corner exit understeer/oversteer then driving becomes an unrealistic nightmare. I've lost track of the amount of times the car violently snapped without any warning. Braking 10m too late into a corner would result in running slightly wide in most games. Here its almost always a long lazy spin that ends up with you facing a guardrail or the wrong way.
Dont even attempt trail braking in this game unless you wanna die. Ive made some setup changes that helped here, but theres no excuse for the default setups to mean instant death of you try to trail brake.
Nobody likes chicanes because they're boring ways to slow tracks down. However one good thing about chicanes is that because their speed is so low it allows the driver to really attack them. But for some odd reason in PCARS you have to baby the cars through the chicanes and be careful around the curbs. GTR2 handled low speed physics better then any sim I ever raced. It understood that no matter the car or setup your going to have brutal understeer in a 40mph chicane or hairpin. Yet the physics in PCARS somehow manages to make chicanes feel like a delicate balancing act when in reality all drivers attack them aggressively because the mechanical grip as such low speeds is so high.
Attack the curbs too much and you spin. Touch the rumble strip on the chicane at the wrong angle and you spin.
@twitcher mentioned the ridiculous bug where once your car gets unrealistically airborne from rumble strip contact it stays airborne like its weightless until you've spun.
Whats worse is that these are high performance racing machines built from high performance road cars. Theres absolutely no way they should be this easy to spin, especially at low speed.
Which brings me to the next issue. Once the cars break loose in this game its almost always impossible to save the car. If you pivot more then x amount of degrees (its not alot) the car just slides until it stops or hits something. Like the torque steer in this game, or the lack of it. No traction control and controlling torque is more difficult to do in Gran Turismo but at the same time more rewarding and realistic because it feels more natural and predictable.
When torque steer makes an appearance in PCARS its almost always wtihout warning and your instantly spin with no chance to catch the car. I havent been able to save a single spin by counter steering because if you have to turn it that much you're already a goner.
What I think we have here is another example of a simulator being more difficult then real life due to buggy physics. Overall is it closer to reality then Gran Turismo? Yes, but at the same time it has major bugs which make it extremely frustrating unless you put in the time to learn how to avoid them with setup changes or driving technique which is extremely annoying.
Could I practice more and become accustomed to the issues and learn how to avoid them? Perhaps. But I dont think its worth it. It would be like playing basketball with a rim that is 20% smaller then the official regulation size with an oblong ball. Why do it? Why put yourself through the nightmare? Its a real shame to because the game has loads of options and looked to be a real fun time.