Social Awkwardness

Thanks to everyone so far that has given me tips. They will help me and hopefully someone else. Another thing that makes me scared to talk to people is that I'm worried I annoy them. I know for a fact a lot of people annoy me when I talk to then, but I don't do anything. I sit there and let them annoy me and then eventually I hate them, so I'm worried that will happen because maybe they do the same thing out of kindness.
 
BubbleBelly542
Thanks to everyone so far that has given me tips. They will help me and hopefully someone else. Another thing that makes me scared to talk to people is that I'm worried I annoy them. I know for a fact a lot of people annoy me when I talk to then, but I don't do anything. I sit there and let them annoy me and then eventually I hate them, so I'm worried that will happen because maybe they do the same thing out of kindness.
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This is what I was referring to back on my longer post on this page. As long as you're polite, most people won't be annoyed talking to you, and if they are annoyed, it will hopefully be something else other than you talking to them. Just get in there and talk to people, everything will be just fine :) .
 
Hm... I don't think you'll annoy anyone. Some people are BORING, and that can be annoying, (me), but, really, just ignore that feeling, as they'll most likely not think, that you're annoying them. I've got the same problem about talking to people I don't know. I'm really terrified, and I some times wish I was dead (not trying to be dramatic) so I don't have to talk to those unknown persons.
“You shouldn't worry about what others, think about you. It's what you think about yourself, that makes you the person you are.”
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Dean J
I've got the same problem about talking to people I don't know. I'm really terrified, and I some times wish I was dead (not trying to be dramatic) so I don't have to talk to those unknown persons.
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I totally understand that. It sounds absurd and like an over reaction but I really do feel that way sometimes because things can get unbearably awkward and uncomfortable.
 
I'm socially awkward and I can admit it. Well, halfway. Nowadays I get along with almost any guy you can find, as long as they ain't violent or otherwise unusually aggressive.

Girls are a completely different thing, but I don't see a problem there because I have discovered that I have absolutely nothing in common with them anyway. So thankfully, while I may sound pathetic, I actually feel that things are looking quite good for me, especially compared to what I was like before high school. I've actually got friends now, or at least people who can be called friends.
 
Confidence is the key.
Or your friends forcing you into a situation.

"I kinda want to ask her to dance..."
"Bro! Go do it!"
"Yeah... but... I can't. I dont talk to her outside of French"
"Ryan?"
"Sup?"
*Shoves me into her path, improvise*

"Hey, uhm, do you want to dance?"
Boom. Nailed it. That immediately turned my night around.

But typically making it seem like you know what you're doing, and aren't apprehensive, is how you do it.

Give the impression that you're playing it cool.
 
Yesterday I was sitting alone at a restuarant close to these girls, and I really wanted to say hi since I had no friends or company to talk to. I was too afraid to say anything (one of them was extremely attractive). I don't live in Bulgaria so I don't really know anybody. This isn't a school environment where it's easy to talk to people - this scenerio takes place in public [on a beach, in a restaurant, etc.]. How can a person make friends with someone they've never seen or talked to before? Is it even possible?
 
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How do you know you're socially inept? You spend too much time online. :D

But seriously, the easiest way to talk to women? Approach the conversation and relationship (or lack of same) with absolutely no expectations. If you have no expectations, then you won't lose confidence from having it go south. And if the conversation kick-off is successful, you can act more naturally and talk more freely. If you're relaxed, she's relaxed and it'll be easier to bond.

Of course, you have to find something to talk about. Here, it helps to have a wide variety of interests... Helps you start a conversation or at least participate in one about any topic that might come up.
 
terminator363
Yesterday I was sitting alone at a restuarant close to these girls, and I really wanted to say hi since I had no friends or company to talk to. I was too afraid to say anything (one of them was extremely attractive). I don't live in Bulgaria so I don't really know anybody. This isn't a school environment where it's easy to talk to people - this scenerio takes place in public [on a beach, in a restaurant, etc.]. How can a person make friends with someone they've never seen or talked to before? Is it even possible?
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Well I think so, I mean at one point you had to meet your friends for a first time. Maybe it might take a few times of seeing that person but it can happen.
 
BubbleBelly542
Well I think so, I mean at one point you had to meet your friends for a first time. Maybe it might take a few times of seeing that person but it can happen.
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All the friends I have I met at school because we were organized in groups or put in the same class. It's harder (maybe even impossible) to talk to people you've never contacted in your life, I mean people that you aren't introduced to by a friend etc. etc.
 
I'm sure all of us have been socially awkward at some point. We all have been nervous, scared, even terrified at some point. Whether it's talking to a potential new friend, a girl, a boss at work etc. Perhaps my brother said it best, "Don't care about what other people think. People are going to judge you regardless of what you do. People are going to love your personality, people are going to 🤬 hate it. Just be yourself." My brother was the class clown in High School, few people liked him, but he was comfortable around the ones who did. So I guess, just be confident in yourself. You can't really change who you are, so embrace it. And they're probably just as nervous as you are.
 
BubbleBelly542
I'm not quite sure where this belongs so I'll put it here I suppose.

I am very socially awkward. I know exactly why, it's technology. The ability to talk to someone without being face to face has ruined me socially. Often times I will get very nervous in social situations. I am shy and I am afraid to approach anyone new. There's a person I've known for over a year now, I've even hung out with him several times, yet I'm still afraid of him and get nervous when I talk to him.

When I talk to girls the social awkwardness becomes even worse. I have low self-esteem and just don't know what to say to girls, so I get extremely nervous.

Whether I'm talking to girls or boys, I don't know when to make eye contact. It feels weird to look at their eyes. I feel like it's creepy.

I'm wondering if I could go to a therapist or something to get help? Is that possible?

Obviously I have some big issues. Is anyone else like this (because of technology)? Any tips to get over the social awkwardness?
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Nothing is wrong with you buddy... Dont worry...

Realization is the first step in change and transformation...

Hopefully this thread will help you grow out of that shyness stage...

I used to be like you, and like the member below, i still am sometimes, but you just have to tell yourself that you need to be more confident.. and that there is nothing wrong looking/staring back at people's eyes...

People actually do expect you to look at them when you talk and speak to them...

it's the first thing that built the relationship between two persons.

If you dont, it just makes it even more awkward for both parties, and actually make it very obvious to the other person what type of individual you might be.... by not looking at them, you are inducing them to think that you are shy, lack confidence, might not be honest, or just hiding something...

Dont be like that anymore... there is NOTHING for you to be afraid of...

just be yourself, accept that you are not the most perfect person and that you do have imperfection, just like EVERY single person on this planet.

Now go out there and confront your fear... you will see that you dont have be be afraid of anything ;)

Good luck buddy

(But dont be a bully_)


Wyvern_64
That's not abnormal, I used to be the exact same way and still am sometimes. Best advise I can give is to just tell yourself that getting nervous just makes it worse, then you'll have even more to be nervous about. :P Just try to relax I guess, seems to help me.

My problem is that I can't think of anything good to say until a few hours later. Figures.
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Same here, it's difficult to maintain the connection and keep the conversation going...

i need to be more random and not be afraid of being unpolitically incorrect or polite, all the while staying respectful and fun...



no easy task... but you gotta make the effort... constantly and improve on it...
 
moving into a job where you have to deal with customers helps a lot...laugh off your mistakes...theres a lot more worse things out there to be bro
 
BubbleBelly542
Obviously I have some big issues. Is anyone else like this (because of technology)? Any tips to get over the social awkwardness?
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Technology had had a hand in making people less social and more distant. But it can be overcome.

I had similar issues when I was younger.

I am a very deep thinker so I was unable to "small talk" with other young people back then. They wanted to talk about a spot on a shirt...I wanted to talk about the future. It didn't help I grew up in no-nonsense family with members 15+ years older then me where small talk and "joking around" simply did not exist. Most of my current friends are people 20+ years older then me. Dont be afraid to seek friendship outside your age bracket.

As TheBigMan045 said getting a job where you have to interact with people will help. It will be tough at first. But you will get use to it.

Learn to relax and learn there are bigger things out there then another person. The world is bigger then your house, or even your city. I strive to remember that. Dont give too much power to your fellowman. Respect them, yes, but its not right to tremble when near them. Remember, who are they? They're just another person. They can say whatever they want to you. But in the end their words or actions can only hurt you if you allow it to. Learn to control yourself and how you feel, and not others.

We're all just specks on a tiny rock orbiting a gigantic ball of fire. So why should we get nervous around others? There's alot bigger things to worry about. Its really easy to think small, to only see the person across from you. Personally I strive to think big and look at the big picture, and when you do that you realize how small that other person is in the big picture.

Girls are tough to talk to of course. But like nervousness and shyness its possible to overcome. Just be yourself. Be cool and natural. Sometimes thats the hardest thing to do but its possible to get there.

Who knows, maybe some of these things come to me easier as I am something of an empath, people will just walk up to me in movie theaters, stores, everywhere and just start talking to me and we can talk for a long time comfortably. And thats with total strangers! Maybe you should work on developing traits of empathy? No doubt that will help your social skills.

These are just a few things I try to remember when getting nervous around others. With enough practice you should improve like I did, but nervousness will never go away completely. Theres nobody on the planet who doesnt get nervous at one time or the other.
 

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