- 679
- Texas, USA.
I got nothing =/
MazKidBig deal, my dad often farts in his sleep, though he enjoys farting more when he's awake so he can see/hear/smell them.
Come to think of it, my whole family farts. I try my best to make as much noise as possible, but to make it sound good. I'd take a high-pitched, smooth sounding fart over the "cards in the spokes" sounding ones.
You see, there's really a technical side of farting. It depends on what you're after: Loud but odorless, quiet but very hazardous, or loud and hazardous. This is all variable depending on A. How long you hold onto your gas. B. How hard you push it out. and C. Your position.
For the loud but stinkless ones, sit on a wooden chair or a hard floor, something that will magnify your noise. You also will need to quickly rid the gas, so when you feel it, quickly get into position and rip it off.
For the quiet but horrible smelling, you'll need to hold onto your gas till it hurts. Then you'll need to stratigically release it at a point where no one hears it. This is best done in a loud environment or by hiding it behind a sneeze, cough, or whatever you can do. You can also, ehm, "open wide" to just release the gas in 1 big volume.
For the loud and smelly, just hold the gas for as long as you can, then use the same steps as in the loud but odorless farting process.
For a maga fart bomb, get in a closed pool, like a hot tub or jaccusi. If done correctly, you can fart underwater which will form a very toxic gas bubble. It'll rise to the surface, detonate(pop) and the smell will be highly concentraited and horrible.
This message is by your friendly nieghborhood GTP mod, MazKid.
boombexusFFS, how about a thread about someone scoring? Huh? That would be f'ing awesome! Some threads about positive results!
Tell ya what, I'll start. I got laid last night. Yep! Not once, not twice, but three ****in times last night. It was a god damn marathon of animalistic sex. I hit that **** doggy style. I tapped that **** side ways. I pinned her legs up by her ears and hit it that way too!
Did I stop and make a thread asking if this chic is sending me signs that she wants to do me? **** NO! I took a chance, followed my dick and what do ya know?!?! SCORE!!!
Grow some ball's kiddies and quit askin us what's up and go find out for yourself.
That is all.