The GTP Unofficial 2020 US Elections Thread

[Danoff]

Just to be clear that button was used by past presidents, just not for Diet Coke.

Pretzels?

 

[Joey D]

I know if I was president, that button would bring in Diet Coke with one of those little bottles of Jack you get on the airplane. There'd also be another button for beer and another that would open a hole in the floor so I could drop members of Congress into the basement. Hell just give me a whole panel of buttons that do various things.

 

[Danoff]

I know if I was president, that button would bring in Diet Coke with one of those little bottles of Jack you get on the airplane. There'd also be another button for beer and another that would open a hole in the floor so I could drop members of Congress into the basement. Hell just give me a whole panel of buttons that do various things.

I'm pretty sure Tom Cruise had a button in tropic thunder... might have been on a remote:

 

[Blitz24]

I know if I was president, that button would bring in Diet Coke with one of those little bottles of Jack you get on the airplane. There'd also be another button for beer and another that would open a hole in the floor so I could drop members of Congress into the basement. Hell just give me a whole panel of buttons that do various things.

Sorry Kimi, the ice cream button has been disabled due to the missus wanting you to watch your weight.

 

[TexRex]

I know if I was president, that button would bring in Diet Coke with one of those little bottles of Jack you get on the airplane. There'd also be another button for beer and another that would open a hole in the floor so I could drop members of Congress into the basement. Hell just give me a whole panel of buttons that do various things.

 

[Famine]

I know if I was president, that button would bring in Diet Coke with one of those little bottles of Jack you get on the airplane. There'd also be another button for beer and another that would open a hole in the floor so I could drop members of Congress into the basement. Hell just give me a whole panel of buttons that do various things.

Calm down there, Dr. Evil.

 

[CTznOfTime]

Knowing what they know about trump, most likely the secret services were able to distract him and rewire the nuclear button for diet coke in his case...

That way, everyone wins, including diet coke...

 

[Blood Eagle]

*Edit* Sorry wrong thread.

 

[Pupik]

It reminds me of this bit doing the rounds 4 years ago...

 

[TexRex]

 

[Tornado]

Speaking of a brew:

"Joe Biden ruthlessly fires government employee on his first day of office while wearing Rolex watch."

 

[Biggles]

"Joe Biden ruthlessly fires government employee on his first day of office while wearing Rolex watch."

Calls to mind the John Mulaney bit about Mick Jagger (at end of clip):

 

[Keef]

He literally told his staff he'll fire them on the spot if they're not nice. No bad jokes allowed! Naawwwtt funnaayyy!

 

[UKMikey]

Totally missed the feds picking up ColonelTPerez (or someone that could be him, admittedly) last week.

If it's him he's as much of a military colonel as the fried chicken guy.

https://www.justice.gov/usao-dc/pr/...ed-making-threats-regarding-events-us-capitol

 

[Danoff]

He literally told his staff he'll fire them on the spot if they're not nice. No bad jokes allowed! Naawwwtt funnaayyy!

That actually struck me as him trying to lay out that he would be hard nosed about stuff... but actually he seems too nice to go through with it. I kindof didn't believe it.

 

[Tornado]

lol Rudy got hit with the same defamation lawsuit Powell got hit with.

 

[Liquid]

Yeah, I saw that Giuliani is being sued for... *checks*... $1.3 billion.

Nice.

 

[GranTurNismo]

Riiiight, because one of the poorest and most disenfranchised nations in the western hemisphere that's also supposedly communist definitely has the resources and global influence as well as the desire to rig the most important election in the most powerful country in the world to instead elect... a centrist neoliberal. Makes sense.

 

[Blitz24]

Riiiight, because one of the poorest and most disenfranchised nations in the western hemisphere that's also supposedly communist definitely has the resources and global influence as well as the desire to rig the most important election in the most powerful country in the world to instead elect... a centrist neoliberal. Makes sense.

They think everyone is smart enough to do this but dumb enough to do this. Welcome to Americuh!

 

[UKMikey]

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/2020-election-republicans-state-election-laws

 

[TexRex]

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/2020-election-republicans-state-election-laws

****-eating Republicans: "We need to kill mail-in voting even though the only problem we can legitimately identify is that the other guy got enough votes from it to beat us."

****ing garbage.

...

 

[UKMikey]

****-eating Republicans: "We need to kill mail-in voting even though the only problem we can legitimately identify is that the other guy got enough votes from it to beat us."

****ing garbage.

Somehow I bet Utah GOP won't follow suit.

Now, we're talking.

 

[Joey D]

Somehow I bet Utah GOP won't follow suit.

Thankfully, they won't. One of our reps has even said that states should consider following Utah's model since it's so secure.

 

[UKMikey]

Thankfully, they won't. One of our reps has even said that states should consider following Utah's model since it's so secure.

I suspect that might not matter to some Republicans if they were losing the state. It looks like they'll simultaneously support contradictory positions so long as it benefits the red vote.

 

[Blitz24]

How about everyone votes and we just count the first vote that comes in? That way someone gets all of the votes and nobody is happy!

 

[UKMikey]

How about everyone votes and we just count the first vote that comes in? That way someone gets all of the votes and nobody is happy!

What if it says "KANYƎ WEƧT" in lime crayon?

 

[Blitz24]

What if it says "KANYE WEƧT" in lime crayon?

New rule: all votes submitted in crayon are immediately thrown out.

 

[Populuxe]

Guys, guys. Q's got this figured out. If your current conspiracy theory isn't working, just get a new one.

 

[Blitz24]

Guys, guys. Q's got this figured out. If your current conspiracy theory isn't working, just get a new one.

Means he can't run for president ever again!

 

[Hayden]

Guys, guys. Q's got this figured out. If your current conspiracy theory isn't working, just get a new one.

They can’t be serious... they’re not serious are they? Do people actually believe this tripe?

10 seconds into Biden’s presidency I had people on my news feed complaining about him putting $1 Billion dollars toward climate change. But now that was actually Trump? Seriously?

Anyone who follows this QuackOn garbage needs to hit CTRL + ALT + DELETE and hard reset their brain.