The Homosexuality Discussion Thread

  • Thread starter Duke
  • 9,138 comments
  • 447,553 views

I think homosexuality is:

  • a problem that needs to be cured.

    Votes: 88 6.0%

  • a sin against God/Nature.

    Votes: 145 9.8%

  • OK as long as they don't talk about it.

    Votes: 62 4.2%

  • OK for anybody.

    Votes: 416 28.2%

  • nobody's business but the people involved.

    Votes: 765 51.8%
  • Total voters
    1,476
Crooooooow
I feel good to announce that I am officially gay. It feels good to announce here, but I'm not sure how to announce it to my family. Especially my parents.
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When my sister announced to me that she was gay, she was worried how I would react. My response was something along the lines of "You're so gay. I was afraid I was going to have to tell you!" They might be more perceptive and receptive than you think. On the otherhand, no knowing your parents, they might react badly.
 
Danoff
When my sister announced to me that she was gay, she was worried how I would react. My response was something along the lines of "You're so gay. I was afraid I was going to have to tell you!"
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That is an A* response. :lol:
 
Danoff
When my sister announced to me that she was gay, she was worried how I would react. My response was something along the lines of "You're so gay. I was afraid I was going to have to tell you!" They might be more perceptive and receptive than you think. On the otherhand, no knowing your parents, they might react badly.
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When my cousin came out I said, "No duh. If you always having your "friend" with you wasn't a hint the rainbow triangle sticker on your car was."


@Crooooooow, if your family is fairly accepting of gay people in general then that is a hopeful sign that they will be accepting, but if they have no clue do expect them to react with shock, at a minimum, and maybe even in a way that you will perceive as negative purely because it changes the perception they had of who you are. To some parents who believe they know their kids it's about like having their kid walk up and show them a third arm. It's a shock because they didn't know, might be mad at themselves for not knowing and reflect that at you, and just need a chance to process this new information. If their reaction is less than ideal just explain that you just accepted this about yourself and you will give them some time to process it and then go find something else to do.

Also, the way you describe it with the anime and such, it sounds as if you were converted. That might be how it felt to you, but chances are that as your adolescent changes came on you became more aware of an attraction to "cute" male characters in anime and began to notice similar traits in real men. Describing it that way could allow people to think you are one trip to camp away from being made straight again.
 
Danoff
When my sister announced to me that she was gay, she was worried how I would react. My response was something along the lines of "You're so gay. I was afraid I was going to have to tell you!" They might be more perceptive and receptive than you think. On the otherhand, no knowing your parents, they might react badly.
Click to expand...

FoolKiller
When my cousin came out I said, "No duh. If you always having your "friend" with you wasn't a hint the rainbow triangle sticker on your car was."

@Crooooooow, if your family is fairly accepting of gay people in general then that is a hopeful sign that they will be accepting, but if they have no clue do expect them to react with shock, at a minimum, and maybe even in a way that you will perceive as negative purely because it changes the perception they had of who you are. To some parents who believe they know their kids it's about like having their kid walk up and show them a third arm. It's a shock because they didn't know, might be mad at themselves for not knowing and reflect that at you, and just need a chance to process this new information. If their reaction is less than ideal just explain that you just accepted this about yourself and you will give them some time to process it and then go find something else to do.

Also, the way you describe it with the anime and such, it sounds as if you were converted. That might be how it felt to you, but chances are that as your adolescent changes came on you became more aware of an attraction to "cute" male characters in anime and began to notice similar traits in real men. Describing it that way could allow people to think you are one trip to camp away from being made straight again.
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It will be easier to break the news to my mom. But, to my dad, it's a whole different story. My dad is a hypocrite in so many ways. For example, he says comedians should be allowed to make fun of anything at anytime. Yet, he gets upset when somebody makes fun of Christianity or a famous dead actor from his favorite early 20th century movies. He claims he doesn't mind what we do for dinner, then he gets upset when we choose something different to what he had in mind, that he never told us about.

When I would share my opinion on religion, he would highly disagree and then constantly send me a chain of emails to all these ignorant sites, that I honestly do not give a damn about. If I told him I was gay, he would probably tell me that's it's all good. Then, he'll send me these links and pull me aside to show me something on the computer or something on the 24/7 Christianity channel.

He never enjoys being wrong, and he won't shut his damn mouth and admit that he's wrong. He lives in denial and never admits to any of his negatives. My dad is Mr. Perfect, but he never wants to admit that. It's always, "No I don't. I never do that. I'm not wrong. You don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about?"

This is the 🤬 I have to live with everyday which makes life complicated for both me and my mom. She agrees that dad is a complete prick and I find that he's the issue why I still have this stuttering problem. There are so many things that are tough to do without him crapping all over it and claiming that he did nothing wrong. Because why would he ever be wrong? He's Mr. God Damn Perfect, remember. Telling him that I'm gay would make him shun the holy bible upon me and let God save me, because he his completely arrogant when it comes to religion. He claims that he doesn't mind gays getting married. Even, one time a few months ago, he hinted something about him hoping I don't become gay. Another sign of hypocrisy. I've been dazed and confused for so long it's not true. How the 🤬 do I break the news without ever turning blue?

Woah! Sorry that I ranted on about all of that. But, it felt nice to get that off of my chest. For the day, at least.
 
Crooooooow
Even, one time a few months ago, he hinted something about him hoping I don't become gay.
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From a parent's perspective, I don't believe there is anything wrong with gay people and support them having equal rights. That said, the way this world is today I would hope my daughter doesn't turn out to be gay because things will be harder on her, particularly in a place like Kentucky. I would hate for her to face ridicule at your age and then later have to move away in order to feel as if she can live a life without harassment. A generation from now it would be different.

The part of me that doesn't trust boys hopes she is a lesbian. I would rest a lot easier. Sexist? Yes, but only because I was a teenage boy once and knew a lot of other teenage boys.

That said, your dad sounds like his reasoning is different from mine. It sounds a lot like your dad already doesn't understand you and you being gay will only make that a larger divide.


My suggestion is to talk to your mom alone and then ask her how you should approach it with your dad. They may talk more about these kinds of things, or he may even make offhand comments about you and what he hopes or doesn't want you to turn out to be as an adult. You may even want her by your side, and on your side, when you tell him.
 
Crooooooow
Even, one time a few months ago, he hinted something about him hoping I don't become gay
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"become gay". We already have a problem. If you can "become gay", you can "become straight". You can no more become gay than he can.

Come out to your parents when you feel like it will benefit your life. I have no problem with people who choose not to divulge their sexuality to anyone who will make their lives more difficult. You don't owe them this information or the ability to attack you over it. Its your choice who to tell, how, when, and why.
 
Danoff
"become gay". We already have a problem. If you can "become gay", you can "become straight". You can no more become gay than he can.

Come out to your parents when you feel like it will benefit your life. I have no problem with people who choose not to divulge their sexuality to anyone who will make their lives more difficult. You don't owe them this information or the ability to attack you over it. Its your choice who to tell, how, when, and why.
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Could you expand on your first statement?

I really want to move out badly, so I can escape the stress that comes with living in the same house with a father who's an ass. That and to finally experience a true feeling of independence, by taking that major step. I'm waiting for this animation job to finally kick in, and waiting to visit NY for a couple things that will help grow my Youtube channel and help grow revenue greatly.
 
Crooooooow
He claims he doesn't mind what we do for dinner, then he gets upset when we choose something different to what he had in mind, that he never told us about.
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Like when the others want to go out for clams, but he secretly wants the Italian sausage?

FoolKiller
My suggestion is to talk to your mom alone and then ask her how you should approach it with your dad. They may talk more about these kinds of things, or he may even make offhand comments about you and what he hopes or doesn't want you to turn out to be as an adult. You may even want her by your side, and on your side, when you tell him.
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Despite not knowing much about your parents, I think that FK has given a pretty good suggestion here. At least you can get your bearings somewhat, and choose to go about it in stages. Bottom line though, is that you do what's best for you. It will be great if you can be completely open, but in some circumstances it merely serves to "make a rod for one's own back".

You own this space outright. No-one has the right to intrude on it, with ideals from one side or the other.
 
@Crooooooow Personally I think you're getting ahead of yourself. You figure out you're gay a few days ago then earlier today you hint that it might only be temporary "gay attitude". IMO I'd keep this to yourself until you're sure how you really feel about your sexuality. The last thing you want to do is approach either of your parents when you aren't certain, your Father in particular. Slow down, take your time, see how you really feel and then work out a strategy. If you think your Mom might be receptive to your confusion, maybe discuss it with her, but I'd leave your Dad out of it for now.
 
Johnnypenso
@Crooooooow Personally I think you're getting ahead of yourself. You figure out you're gay a few days ago then earlier today you hint that it might only be temporary "gay attitude". IMO I'd keep this to yourself until you're sure how you really feel about your sexuality.
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Or just take the simple litmus test of asking ones self if they are still attracted to females or not. Simples.
 
Danoff
Come out to your parents when you feel like it will benefit your life. I have no problem with people who choose not to divulge their sexuality to anyone who will make their lives more difficult. You don't owe them this information or the ability to attack you over it. Its your choice who to tell, how, when, and why.
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TenEightyOne
The BBC have an interesting article giving from the point of view of ex-spouses of partners who later announced that they were gay.
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Ok, I'll revise. You do owe this information to the person you decide to marry.
 
TheCracker
Or just take the simple litmus test of asking ones self if they are still attracted to females or not. Simples.
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Its not that simple. Crow has already said it might be temporary phenomenon. No need to rush into these things.
 
Johnnypenso
Its not that simple. Crow has already said it might be temporary phenomenon. No need to rush into these things.
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If you have an inherent attraction to a sex, that's never going to change. If it's a case of 'i used to think that i liked girls - because that's what i thought guys were just meant to do' then that's different.
 
TheCracker
If you have an inherent attraction to a sex, that's never going to change. If it's a case of 'i used to think that i liked girls - because that's what i thought guys were just meant to do' then that's different.
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Agreed.

And then there's bisexuals, who find both sides attractive and can more easily have "moods" about which flavor they prefer at the moment. There are also spectrums of bisexual where someone is attracted to the same sex, but not as much as the opposite sex, and vice versa. Such that they're willing to explore one type of sexuality, but ultimately prefer the other.

@Crooooooow may be any of the above, and may not even know it yet. I would definitely recommend holding off on telling the parents until that self-understanding is better developed.
 
TheCracker
If you have an inherent attraction to a sex, that's never going to change. If it's a case of 'i used to think that i liked girls - because that's what i thought guys were just meant to do' then that's different.
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I used to not like chocolate when I was a kid (sacreligious, I know). As I got older, I sort of like it sometimes but not others.

Your tastes in anything are what they are at any given moment, but it's a big call to say that they'll never change at all. At the very least, the age range of people who you'll find attractive will probably increase as you grow older. Who knows, someone may go off boys as they get older, or they may discover that they like them a lot more than they thought they did. I don't think it's odd that one's gender preferences may be at least somewhat fluid.

While it's admirable to make sure that people don't think that one's sexuality is necessarily a choice, I don't think it's helpful to pretend that it can never change either. It's just that you probably can't change it intentionally, any more than I could convince a 5 year old not to like candy. They just do.
 
Crooooooow
I really want to move out badly, so I can escape the stress that comes with living in the same house with a father who's an ass. That and to finally experience a true feeling of independence, by taking that major step. I'm waiting for this animation job to finally kick in, and waiting to visit NY for a couple things that will help grow my Youtube channel and help grow revenue greatly.
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I had a cousin who was gay, his father was an ex British army Major, so as you can imagine there was a lot of stress in the household.
What my cousin did was just be himself, he didn't go around telling people he's gay, he just lived the same as anyone else, go to work, go on hoildays etc. The nearest he got to saying he was gay, was he would say he lives with so and so, or he went on holiday with this guy etc, it was then up to the people he was talking to to except what he was saying, if they didn't like it fine it's their problem. A lot of people at his funeral were surprised he was gay.
I appreciate that circumstances are different, what I'm saying from what I saw from my cousin was just live your life and be yourself, if that means getting your own place do it, your father not understanding is out of your control, let him have the time and space to work it out, telling yourself you're gay is a massive thing to do, applaud that.
 
TheCracker
If you have an inherent attraction to a sex, that's never going to change. If it's a case of 'i used to think that i liked girls - because that's what i thought guys were just meant to do' then that's different.
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Nothing in life is that simple and @Crooooooow has already indicated that he might be in a phase. He's 19 according to his profile and probably like the rest of us, especially at that age, is discovering new things about himself on a regular basis. He'll find his way soon enough, no need to rush into anything.
 
Johnnypenso
Nothing in life is that simple and @Crooooooow has already indicated that he might be in a phase. He's 19 according to his profile and probably like the rest of us, especially at that age, is discovering new things about himself on a regular basis. He'll find his way soon enough, no need to rush into anything.
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I am discovering new things every day. I've finally discovered that other people have penises. I thought I was growing a third leg.
 
Casey Davis, a County Clerk in Kentucky, continues to refuse to issue same-sex marriage licenses, even after being told to do so by Kentucky's Governor:

Kentucky Governor tells Clerk to issue gay-marriage licenses

The Governor said: "When he was elected, he took a constitutional oath to uphold the US Constitution" "One of Mr Davis' duties as county clerk is to issue marriage licenses, and the Supreme Court now says that the US Constitution requires those marriage licenses to be issued regardless of gender"

Its not clear if Casey Davis is refusing to issue just same-sex marriage licenses or if he is refusing to issue any marriage licenses. Mr Davis has said that he does not intend to resign, so it will be interesting to see if Casey Davis gets charged for failure to fulfill his duties, or if some other path is pursued.

GTsail
 
...Seriously? What do you find "heterophobic" (my phone's spellchecker doesn't even recognise that word, LOL) about Danny's post?
 
This discussion is still going strong I see.

I must say, going back and reading some of my earlier post, I am a bit embarrassed at my opinion. While my convictions are the same, my attitude is much, much different towards same sex marriages.

To that, I sincerely apologize to anyone I have offended in the past, present, or future who read those early posts.

So what do you guys think about other marriage combos? A man in Billings Montana is trying to get married to his 3 girl friends. He says the new ruling by the supreme court supports polygamy. They're still not sure what to do about him. What shall we have tolerance for next, and what will their flag look like? Wait and see, it's just around the corner. :)
 

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