The Simpsons Quotes

[Touring Mars]

I almost choked on my dinner... C4 just showed "Fraudcast News" where Groundskeeper Willy comes out with a hilarious line about his review of tractors, but I'm not sure that the whole line was supposed to be broadcast unedited at 6.20 pm

 

[Famine]

"They're all (excrement - rhymes with bite)!"

 

[Cap'n Jack]

I think one of the most under-rated characters for Simpson's quotes is Lisa. When she has her moments, they're always absolutely hilarious.

• Lisa: "I am the lizard queen!"
• Lisa: "... And besides, if Bart gets a lollypop, I want a lollypop too"
• Lisa: "Shut up, brain. I've got friends now. I don't need you anymore!"
• Lisa: "Why are you guys jumping to such ridiculous conclusions? Haven't you ever heard of Occam's Razor? "The simplest explanation is probably the correct one."
  Bart: "So what's the simplest explanation?"
  Lisa: "I don't know. Maybe they're all reverse vampires and they have to get home before dark."
• Lisa: "Bart, water will only go the other way in the Southern Hemisphere."
  Bart: "What the hell is the Southern Hemisphere?"
  Lisa: "Haven't you ever looked at your globe?... See, the Southern Hemisphere is made up of everything below the equ- ...this line."
  Bart: So, say, in Argentina, and Rand McNally, all their water goes backwards?
  Lisa: Uh-huh. In fact, in Rand McNally, men wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.

And I could go on and on. The moral of the story is: there's a Simpson's quote for any occasion.

 

[PeterJB]

Mr Burns: Whats the matter? Think I'm not hip? Think I don't have enough vo-dio-doo?!

Mr Burns is by far my favourite character.

 

[Solid Lifters]

Chocolate microscopes?

 

[Cap'n Jack]

"Why embarrass us both? Just write a check and I'll release some more endorphins."