More Go(o)dness. (See what I did there?-Bu dum tisss)
JV Jacques Villeneuve:
Given the struggle of any artist to have their voice heard in a fiercely competitive market I think it's great I have been embraced in Latin America.
mschumi Michael Schumacher:
Remember those Chilean miners that were stuck for two months a couple of years back?
JV Jacques Villeneuve:
Michael, I am happy to learn my music is so powerful that they gave my CD to those miners to help them cope at a very distressing time.
mschumi Michael Schumacher:
Actually, turns out they deliberately trapped themselves after some prat threatened to play that proliferation of puke you call your album in the staff canteen. Well done pinhead.
jackie Jackie Stewart:
There are a number of safety issues with the idea of placing an older driver in control of a modern racing car capable of generating lateral forces of up to 5G, not least the stresses placed on the body, and in particular the neck muscles which degrade significantly with age and lack of regular training.
Bernie Bernie Ecclestone:
Can't be that hard Jackie, it's just a car isn't it, 3 pedals, a steering wheel and a handbrake. You see fellas older than me driving to the shops every day, and then you have these 60 year old whipper-snappers complaining about their bloody necks. Tells you the state of the world today really, doesn't it.
fernando Fernando Alonso:
Spot on as usual Bernie, good to know you have your finger on the pulse regarding the state of the world today, even if events in Bahrain might have suggested otherwise.
bestofbritish Jenson Button:
Ooh, why don't you put your finger on this pulsating Button Fernando? If you offer me a good drive, I'll guarantee you a come-back.
Horner Christian Horner:
Actually Michael, while Mark's contract says that he has a Red Bull with identical specification to perfect Seb's, the precise vintage of Seb's car in that context is a little less strictly defined. Adrian and I have had a policy to run the newest parts on Seb's car for at least 6 months before we transfer them to the sister car of Mark. This is to cover reliability issues so we ensure we can at least bag some consolation points if anything happens to Seb while he is leading.
sbstnvtl Sebastian Vettel:
Yesss! That's what I am talking about! See you Mark, I'll buy you an Italian dictionary. Ha ha. Yabba-dabba-dooooooooo!
Now a longer brilliant part:
Montezuma Luca di Montezemolo:
Greetings earthlings, what impudence is this that offends me? Who dares presume who is to be annointed by me to command my scarlet chariots?
Domenicali Stefano Domenicali:
President di Montezemelo, these rumours are most unfortunate. I have told Felipe he must improve but this speculation will only upset the special unity and loyalty of our Ferrari family.
Montezuma Luca di Montezemolo:
Silence puny servant. The loyalty of Ferrari is to thine Emperor. This weak child who brings failure to my court must be sacrificed. I will scour the heavens and the earth to find one worthy to share the company of the golden child Fernando.
fernando Fernando Alonso:
Thank you Emperor, as much as I have tried to support my former teammate, Felipe continues to disgrace our precious marque. I humbly beseech you to find someone to help me glorify your name.
massa Felipe Massa:
You're an arse-licking **** Fernando.
fernando Fernando Alonso:
Mmmm, bit embarrassing isn't it with all these people being linked to your seat Massa. Liza Minelli has a better chance of getting a Ferrari contract next year than you do.
Perez Sergio Perez:
Sergio like Ferrari, Sergio want Ferrari.
PSauber Peter Sauber:
Take it easy Sergio, you have a Ferrari engine, that is the best I can do for you right now.
mschumi Michael Schumacher:
Careful what you wish for Perez, life is complicated at Maranello, there's quite a bit of political chicanery required to get yourself that seat.
Perez Sergio Perez:
Huh?...chicane bad...Sergio like Ferrari....chicane bad...Sergio like Ferrari...chicane bad...
PSauber Peter Sauber:
Say Esses five times like the doctor told you Sergio. There are no chicanes involved. For Christ's sake Michael, I've spent a fortune on his psychotherapy after Monaco, I hope Ferrari realise what they might be taking on.
Kobayashi Kamui Kobayashi:
Be calm Perezsan. Take the words of the master into your heart and fear not. I will fight to the death to protect you as long as you remain loyal to Sensei Sauber, alas I cannot promise my soul to you if you succumb to the control of our Ferrari enemies.
rubens Rubens Barrichello:
You don't have that kind of power anymore Michael, people can see through your evil schemes.
mschumi Michael Schumacher:
With nearly a billion in the bank anything is possible ****-for-brains. Actually I'm thinking of buying a private island so I can have you imprisoned there indefinitely.
rubens Rubens Barrichello:
This is just... this can't be happening, it just can't be true.
mschumi Michael Schumacher:
Ah yes, I was looking forward to your reaction. You're hardly gone a wet week and they win a race, beautiful. Get the message now?
rubens Rubens Barrichello:
This is the worst possible news I could have heard. It is just so incredibly unfair that someone else is getting all the credit now for my two seasons of development work. It should have been me.
mschumi Michael Schumacher:
Nope, still not sinking in. Let me make it crystal clear then. It only took Williams 5 months and 5 races after you stopped giving your "development" input to deliver a winning car.
Yeah I'm done now.
