What If: Human Survival Test

[Joel]

We would not survive against all animals combined, even without insects and arachnids. You have to realize that humans will not win the war in a day, so we would have to sleep and such. The big cats such as panthers and tigers can see in the dark and kill us while we sleep, so will wolves and bears.

The only way we could possibly 'win' is to go out at sea on ships and eat fish for food. Other than that, I cannot see humanity survive the animal kingdom attacking them all out.

Do you honestly think that humankind, responsible for WWII which killed 50 Million[i/] of the most intelligent species on the planet are going to fall asleep without someone standing guard when all of the animal kingdom are coming for us? We're going to die because Tigers can see in the dark?

I live in Canada. How are Panthers and Tigers a threat to me? There's some Wolves and bears around I guess, but with a 12ga. Shotgun in my hand and access to an easy escape (truck) I like my chances. Not to mention how many wolves could be easily run down by any redneck with a pickup truck.

Yes, some people would die, but humankind being eradicated? Not a chance. Just because animals are attacking humans doesn't mean they will gain analytical minds. A bear can be killed with a shotgun or high calibre rifle pretty easily. Not to mention that a bear can't touch any kind of armoured vehicle.

As I said before, I'd have to get through my dogs, then get to my shed, get the guns, and from then it would just be picking off stray dogs while police and eventually the military/militias dealt with bigger groups of animals.

 

[Danoff]

Ok, number 1 problem for me would be the black widows that I have on my property. I'd have to be extremely careful when going around outside (like, you know, wearing jeans and gloves and stuff). But they haven't found their way inside yet, and I don't think that's going to change (thanks to insecticide).

Bees would be a problem outside as well (they also have not found their way inside). But, as mentioned before, we have the technology to fight bees. Crows are pretty smart, a murder of those could do some damage. But there aren't enough of them to overwhelm the people in the area. They're also susceptible to bb-guns and 22s.

 

[Joel]

Seagulls could pose a problem for me, but my area does have a large amount of hunters and a ton of shotguns, if a group of guys went down to the beach and coordinated a convoy and just opened fire, it'd be easy pickings. I think North America would be best prepared for this, due to how many guns there are (there's far more in Canada than people think), as well as (particularly for the US) military strength.

 

[Michael88]

Most animals are totally afraid of fire, give me a few torches (or a flamethrower) and I'll be able to scare off 90% of the animals attacking me, eventually they'll panic and stomp themselves to death.

I can take care of the other 10% with conventional weapons and tools.

 

[Katiegan]

I just realised something. It's all good for you guys who are allowed to have guns... over here in the UK we aren't, unless you're a gamekeeper, but if I'm not mistaken that's only sport rifles you're entitled to. I do have a BB sniper rifle, but that won't be enough to fight away an angry lion that just escaped from the zoo and is craving human flesh. Our best bet is the military - and that's the best bet for anyone really.

 

[Driving Park]

METHOD #1

1. Everyone gets on boats.
2. While on boats, we build aircraft. With guns on them.
3. Once step 2 is done, get every military aircraft and newly created aircraft and destroy everything living on the ground for a radius of a couple of miles.
4. Establish beachhead on said de-animalized region (one for each continent). Continue pushing forward with land troops dispatching the smaller animals untargetable by air, with the aircraft going ahead and decimating the big stuff.
5. Rinse and repeat step 4.

METHOD #2

1. Everyone gets on spacecraft.
2. Troops fend off attacking animals as ships ready for launch.
3. Ships launch, land on the Moon, Mars, or both.
4. Nuke the Earth.
5. Live on the Moon/Mars for 10,000 years.
6. Come back to Earth once the radiation is gone.
7. Introduce the cockroach population to flamethrowers.

Success!

 

[JSadler]

Imagine death by squirells. I probably have 30 in my backyard on any given day. Terrifying.

The trees are a little bit further away from my place, so I might have about 45 min to an hour...but that would be max.

 

[LMSCorvetteGT2]

We'd be alright in the UK, the most dangerous thing we get over here is urban foxes. Although....

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/892517-fox-mugs-15st-man-who-escapes-after-garlic-bread-peace-offering

This country

I've heard for years that there is supposed elusive big cats in the UK country side but none have been found and only video captures suggest there might be a few. If it is true the urban fox isn't your one worry which would then be funny!

 

[PeterJB]

We'd be fine here. Just look out for Adders and angry bulls!

 

[axletramp]

So basically we're saying that anyone at sea or living in a cooler climate would have a chance at least? Great, then I suggest we all go and live on North Sea oil rigs until this blows over.

Can we take a few angry pigs for bacon sandwiches though?

 

[W3H5]

We'd be fine here. Just look out for Adders and angry bulls!

I've had the pleasure of having a stand off with a bull and to this day it's one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me. 2 tons of horny Big Mac staring me down.

Never crossing a cow field again as long as I live.

True story.

So basically we're saying that anyone at sea or living in a cooler climate would have a chance at least? Great, then I suggest we all go and live on North Sea oil rigs until this blows over.

Eskimos will survive us all. I knew the world would come to this...

 

[MatskiMonk]

It would have to be about defence, not offence. If we kill all the animals and insects, then the chances are that the food chain would collapse... We'd have to keep everything in captivity - because I for one am not about to start eating Tofu just because we had to slaughter all the rampaging cows.

 

[TopGearFTW]

If this were to happen, we should probably abandon Australia as a lost cause straight away

Seriously though, we would win, but probably seal our fate in the process. We could probably destroy the majority of the animals' habitat extremely quickly with a co-ordinated effort (talking napalming rainforest and such). Which would mean we wouldn't be in danger from animals anymore, but we have basically doomed ourselves anyway. It's a terribly happy topic, this

Alternatively, run to Madagascar. They're usually the first to shut everything down anyway. >__>


Hope someone gets that reference.

 

[axletramp]

It's all a bit Stephen King this thread...

 

[Danoff]

Funny thing is nothing would even change in Africa (and possibly South America). The animals and insects there want to kill you already.

But that brings something else up. Is the assumption here that we're at war with the rest of the animal kingdom, but that each soldier on the other side still gets scared, still wants to live, etc? Or is it that suddenly each member for the rest of the animal kingdom is filled with an intense desire to kill the nearest human with no regard for preservation.

Do they still want to survive? Do they still want to eat? Do they still want to reproduce? Where does the urge to kill people sit in their minds? Because if they want to kill us more than they care about eating and reproducing, all we have to do is hang out in our cars with a little water and a few sandwiches and we'll be just fine. They'll be dead in short order.

 

[PeterJB]

I've had the pleasure of having a stand off with a bull and to this day it's one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me. 2 tons of horny Big Mac staring me down.

Never crossing a cow field again as long as I live.

True story.

I got chased by a herd of sheep once. That was fun.

 

[E28]

I got chased by a herd of sheep once. That was fun.

When I was about 6 I got a bit scared because there were horses in the field we were walking across. My Grandad said 'There's nothing to worry about, they won't hurt you'. When they came towards us he ran off as fast as he could.

 

[Daniel]

Alternatively, run to Madagascar. They're usually the first to shut everything down anyway. >__>

!
I got it

 

[Driving Park]

Alternatively, run to Madagascar. They're usually the first to shut everything down anyway. >__>Hope someone gets that reference.

I see what you did there.

 

[E28]

It would have to be about defence, not offence. If we kill all the animals and insects, then the chances are that the food chain would collapse... We'd have to keep everything in captivity - because I for one am not about to start eating Tofu just because we had to slaughter all the rampaging cows.

I wouldn't be surprised if we killed all the animals but found a way to clone them or something, and even genetically modify them so they don't kill the nearest person.

 

[Jahgee]

Just to say the mindset of the animals, their mindset is that unless they kill or hurt a human, they're life is a failure, so kamikaze animals pretty much

 

[Danoff]

Just to say the mindset of the animals, their mindset is that unless they kill or hurt a human, they're life is a failure, so kamikaze animals pretty much

So they have no fear of death, and possibly no care for reproduction, but maybe won't starve to death.

Here's the thing. A fly might be able to do a lot of damage to you if it got in your nose or ears or something. But it doesn't know that. The animals would be a lot more effective if there were some intelligent creature directing them.

A squirrel doesn't necessarily know to crawl up your leg and claw at your face. It might just try to bite your shoe or pants. A mountain lion might have a better idea how to kill you, but it pretty much already wants to.

 

[W3H5]

I got chased by a herd of sheep once. That was fun.

Mating bull > sheep.

Seriously, if this was the right thread I'd explain the situation but it's slightly off topic apart from that the bull definitely had it in his mind to maim/ kill me.

On topic, I'd say I'd have quite a lot of fun going to war with the animals here in CQ (not that I like killing animals due to religious reasons). I think my step-mother's village killed the last of the bears a while ago so all that's left are the tons of other highly lethal animals including wolves the size of cows and wild cats with claws like raptors'!