- 1,002
- Northern VA
My agenda is as follows...
- Between now and Oct 11: Check Amazon.com every day to see if they offer launch day delivery.
- Oct 11, 9:00am: Log into my Amazon.com account and refresh the tracking info every 5 minutes. Swear under my breath, "That truck has been at the 🤬 Baltimore dispatch center for three and a half hours!"
- Oct 11, 9:07am: Attempt to use my latent mental superpowers to will UPS to my doorstep right-the-eff-now.
- Oct 11, 9:09am: Rummage through desk drawers to try to find tissues for my nose bleed.
- Oct 11, 9:15am: Tracking info page refreshes resume in earnest.
- Oct 11, 12:37pm: Replace the command and R keys on my keyboard. Continue refreshing.
- Oct 11, 1:31pm: Walk past a Best Buy during lunch and consider buying an extra copy of Forza 4 "just in case".
- Oct 11, 2:21pm: Read play impressions of people who stayed home to play Forza 4. Smack keyboard in envy and impotent rage.
- Oct 11, 2:22pm: Replace JKL cluster on my keyboard. Promise myself to avoid further Forza 4 gameplay impressions.
- Oct 11, 2:23pm: Log onto GTPlanet and ForzaCentral to read more gameplay impressions.
- Oct 11, 2:57pm: Read first negative impressions of Forza 4. Hyperventilate! Wonder if it's too late to cancel the preorder.
- Oct 11, 3:01pm: Log into Amazon.com to cancel my order. Tracking info shows UPS vehicle "Out for delivery." Guess I'm stuck with it now.
- Oct 11, 3:05pm: I update the pushpins in my map, based on known Northern Virginia dispatch locations.
- Oct 11, 3:17pm: I resume reading gameplay impressions, this time filtering out all but the biggest fanboy comments. Panic subsides.
- Oct 11, 4:48pm: Finally! Amazon texts me that UPS has left Forza 4 LCE at my door!
- Oct 11, 4:59pm: Chew fingernails nervously, wondering if a random passerby made off with my package.
- Oct 11, 5:11pm: Call a friend to have him rescue my package. Hang up as soon as I remember he has a 360 too, and can't be trusted.
- Oct 11, 5:12pm: Lie to friend about "butt dialing" him by mistake. He calls me a moron.
- Oct 11, 5:26pm: Rush home to rescue my vulnerable Forza 4: LCE package.
- Oct 11, 5:42pm: Get pulled over during the one section of the commute/slog home that has any open road. Receive an asinine speeding fine. I never get a warning. Ever.
- Oct 11, 5:55pm: Hit more nasty DC traffic.
- Oct 11, 7:15pm: Manage to roll another 1/4 mile. Consider ditching the car, except there's no place to hide it.
- Oct 11, 8:51pm: Finally cross the Virginia border. Traffic is still brutal. News reports cite mouse-farts somewhere near Quantico as the cause.
- Oct 11, 9:29pm: Try one of my secret alternate routes. It's closed for construction.
- Oct 11, 9:40pm: Try another secret alternate route. Closed for construction.
- Oct 11, 9:46pm: Launch my Navigon app to get traffic info. Men at Work sign loads instead of a map.
- Oct 11, 11:11pm: Still stuck in construction traffic, but I did cover another 1/3 mile!
- Oct 12, 2:50am: Another half mile covered. Rummage around the car to try to find materials to route exhaust gases back into the cabin. No luck.
- Oct 12, 6:50am: Finally home! I see my wife's car parked in the driveway. I still see the Forza 4: LCE package sitting on the front steps. Awesome.
- Oct 12, 6:51am: I insert disc 1 of Forza 4 and start installation. I haul my racing rig into the living room.
- Oct 12, 6:59am: Installation has finished! I boot to the main menu of Forza 4 and...
- Oct 12, 7:00am: Alarm goes off in the bedroom. Time to get ready for work. A part of me dies inside.