Confession Booth
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VIPFREAK
(Banned)
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VIPFREAKSo, I got on the freeway today and saw an 86 and I knew a chick was driving so since I was gonna pass her I looked over, now usually a chick in a "nice" car is hot but lets just say I regretted it this time.
Scarred for life
- 1,759
The other day me and my friend went to meet up with this girl and walk with her home from school ( my friend likes her I was just bored and so I went with him ). About 10 seconds later her dad drives up ( he hates us ), so we start riding away FAST.
I go ahead of my friend and was lookin back to see where he went and the road happened to turn when I was lookin back. When I turned around I was two inches from the side of this parked truck. So I brace for impact and I end up scratching the side of the truck a little and doing a front flip cuz my peg caught the rear tire. I had rod rash up my arm,on my knee and go a burn through my shirt on my shoulder. I hit the tire so hard my handle bars were completely sidways and my seat was broken.
I never got a real good look at the damage on the car because when I went back this dude started givin us s:censored: about banging on the truck and knocking some cone down by his drive way. I guess he didn't see the part where I was flying through the air. So I was like f:censored: you a:censored:hole and we rode off and on the way knocked the other cone down.
I go ahead of my friend and was lookin back to see where he went and the road happened to turn when I was lookin back. When I turned around I was two inches from the side of this parked truck. So I brace for impact and I end up scratching the side of the truck a little and doing a front flip cuz my peg caught the rear tire. I had rod rash up my arm,on my knee and go a burn through my shirt on my shoulder. I hit the tire so hard my handle bars were completely sidways and my seat was broken.
I never got a real good look at the damage on the car because when I went back this dude started givin us s:censored: about banging on the truck and knocking some cone down by his drive way. I guess he didn't see the part where I was flying through the air. So I was like f:censored: you a:censored:hole and we rode off and on the way knocked the other cone down.
Sorry for firing this old thread up again. I could have started a new thread but I then remembered that there was already a kind of thread that I was looking for.
I have to tell all GTP memebers something that I want to get of my chest (is this the right expression?)
I just saw that the last post of this thread is also mine and this post is a follow up from what I wrote in my previous post.
I don't know if I do the right thing by confessing what I'm about to confess. First off all; I got out of that psychological mess I was in last year. I recovered.
Now my confession and please don't make jokes of it because for me it is very hard to live like this.
It started about half a year ago when I got myself in a very "severe", "deep" depression. Every single day is hell for me. Every morning when I awake, I get overwelmed by a very (hard to explain) negative emotional feeling. The kind that makes you wish you were dead. This goes one all day long. The only thing I can do is lying on the sofa, counting the minutes (literally) and hoping that bedtime is there very soon. One nervous breakdown after another (during may, juin, july and august) was my daily thing. I still don't know how I got in this mess but I'm doing much better now although the mental pain is still unbearable at times.
Everthing is a threat, shaving, getting dressed, etc gives me the creepes just thinking about it.
I started taking medication in july and an aditional tranquilizers since a couple of weeks. Since I take this tranq., I feel very good every day and I do the things I did before I got this depression. BUT this tranq. are addictive and that's what worries me. And I don't want to take medication. I hate it!!! My ego is too big to take medication and that makes everything even worse. I only have to take a light antidepressant every morning and the tranq. (also in the morning) and I good for the rest of the day. I never drink alcohol, don't eat chocolat and only drink milk and lots of water (for years now), so I hope my liver and kidneys stay healthy.
Living like this is impossible for me. I fight every day but I can't seemed to overcome the bad feelings I have when I wake up. Luckly I started eating again after taking this tranq. (its only 1 to 2 mg a day).
The psychiatrist and other doctors told me that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. Please don't make fun of this!!!!!
Why this confession?? Well because I had my first suicide attempt in september. I woke up in the hospital. Every day I walk around with the feeeling that I have to do it again, wiht the wish that I'm dead. So I just wanted to let you guys know, if I suddenly stop posting, it can only mean 1 thing. That it was too much to bare and that I did it again and I'm six feet under.
Thank you for listining and please don't make fun of me because this is a real sickness I have to overcome (if I can). I don't know if I did the right thing by confessing this. I just did it to let you know that when I stop posting, I'm dead. My friends tell me that I have a strong will and strong character. That's how I'm (can't find the right word) by my friends and still it is almost impossible to bare the depressed feelings that I have every sinlge day.
bye
kikie (Chris)
I have to tell all GTP memebers something that I want to get of my chest (is this the right expression?)
I just saw that the last post of this thread is also mine and this post is a follow up from what I wrote in my previous post.
I don't know if I do the right thing by confessing what I'm about to confess. First off all; I got out of that psychological mess I was in last year. I recovered.
Now my confession and please don't make jokes of it because for me it is very hard to live like this.
It started about half a year ago when I got myself in a very "severe", "deep" depression. Every single day is hell for me. Every morning when I awake, I get overwelmed by a very (hard to explain) negative emotional feeling. The kind that makes you wish you were dead. This goes one all day long. The only thing I can do is lying on the sofa, counting the minutes (literally) and hoping that bedtime is there very soon. One nervous breakdown after another (during may, juin, july and august) was my daily thing. I still don't know how I got in this mess but I'm doing much better now although the mental pain is still unbearable at times.
Everthing is a threat, shaving, getting dressed, etc gives me the creepes just thinking about it.
I started taking medication in july and an aditional tranquilizers since a couple of weeks. Since I take this tranq., I feel very good every day and I do the things I did before I got this depression. BUT this tranq. are addictive and that's what worries me. And I don't want to take medication. I hate it!!! My ego is too big to take medication and that makes everything even worse. I only have to take a light antidepressant every morning and the tranq. (also in the morning) and I good for the rest of the day. I never drink alcohol, don't eat chocolat and only drink milk and lots of water (for years now), so I hope my liver and kidneys stay healthy.
Living like this is impossible for me. I fight every day but I can't seemed to overcome the bad feelings I have when I wake up. Luckly I started eating again after taking this tranq. (its only 1 to 2 mg a day).
The psychiatrist and other doctors told me that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. Please don't make fun of this!!!!!
Why this confession?? Well because I had my first suicide attempt in september. I woke up in the hospital. Every day I walk around with the feeeling that I have to do it again, wiht the wish that I'm dead. So I just wanted to let you guys know, if I suddenly stop posting, it can only mean 1 thing. That it was too much to bare and that I did it again and I'm six feet under.
Thank you for listining and please don't make fun of me because this is a real sickness I have to overcome (if I can). I don't know if I did the right thing by confessing this. I just did it to let you know that when I stop posting, I'm dead. My friends tell me that I have a strong will and strong character. That's how I'm (can't find the right word) by my friends and still it is almost impossible to bare the depressed feelings that I have every sinlge day.
bye
kikie (Chris)
- 24,128
- Scarfolk
- Grim10
- Are you kidding?
Hello Chris. You have absolutely done the right thing here.
It's a very brave thing to do, to admit you felt like taking your own life. However, you need to consider the consequences on those around you.
I know you're a good person, and I'm sure you wouldn't want the suffering of friends and family who love you.
No-one is going to make fun of you. This is a very real experience and one that requires much thought. I will personally hack the arms off anyone who makes fun of you. I'm so sure no-one will that I didn't bring my hacking knife.
Your friends seem to see that you're strong and willful. True friends can see the qualities of people, and I have no doubt they are right.
I'm sure you've heard this before, but life itself is a major challenge. If I may quote, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it.
Now I know internet friendships are not nearly as meaningful or useful as physical in-the-flesh friendships, but I can assure you that this community is a community that treats each other as physical friends would. The death of any member, yourself included would cause anguish within the community deep into it's core.
I suggest looking at the following websites.
I know English is not your first language, but I'm sure you can handle them, as your english skills are brilliant (even better than mine!
).
http://www.samaritans.co.uk/
Offer help advice to those who seek it. Always friendly and willing to help.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Information of the consequences of suicide. Very thought-provoking.
http://www.soon.org.uk/problems/suicide.htm
More useful information for you.
The main point I want to make it that you are by no means alone. I've had similar thoughts in recent years. I know no two experiences are the same, but the ultimate reward for life is to pull through it.
Thankyou for your time Chris.
It's a very brave thing to do, to admit you felt like taking your own life. However, you need to consider the consequences on those around you.
I know you're a good person, and I'm sure you wouldn't want the suffering of friends and family who love you.
No-one is going to make fun of you. This is a very real experience and one that requires much thought. I will personally hack the arms off anyone who makes fun of you. I'm so sure no-one will that I didn't bring my hacking knife.
Your friends seem to see that you're strong and willful. True friends can see the qualities of people, and I have no doubt they are right.
I'm sure you've heard this before, but life itself is a major challenge. If I may quote, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it.
Now I know internet friendships are not nearly as meaningful or useful as physical in-the-flesh friendships, but I can assure you that this community is a community that treats each other as physical friends would. The death of any member, yourself included would cause anguish within the community deep into it's core.
I suggest looking at the following websites.
I know English is not your first language, but I'm sure you can handle them, as your english skills are brilliant (even better than mine!
).http://www.samaritans.co.uk/
Offer help advice to those who seek it. Always friendly and willing to help.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Information of the consequences of suicide. Very thought-provoking.
http://www.soon.org.uk/problems/suicide.htm
More useful information for you.
The main point I want to make it that you are by no means alone. I've had similar thoughts in recent years. I know no two experiences are the same, but the ultimate reward for life is to pull through it.
Thankyou for your time Chris.
- 24,344
- Midlantic Area
- GTP_Duke
You're not alone at all, kikie. Not even on this board. If you look up posts by a user named Rumple Foreskin, you will see that he went through some very depressed periods here, and always found support among this community. Although he has pretty much left this forum, he is still around and he has managed to make a life for himself in the aftermath of his psychological problems and depression.
Depression can be mental and it can be physical - in fact, it's both. But it is REAL and the effects are terrible, I know. You've definitely done the right thing by sharing your condition with us. With such a huge community to rely on here, you will find somebody to talk with at any time of the day or night. So whenever you feel the need to connect with somebody, log on here and strike up a conversation. We're here to help you.
OZZYGT
Premium
- 3,716
- NYC
- OZZYGT
Hello Chris. You have absolutely done the right thing here.
It's a very brave thing to do, to admit you felt like taking your own life. However, you need to consider the consequences on those around you.
I know you're a good person, and I'm sure you wouldn't want the suffering of friends and family who love you.
No-one is going to make fun of you. This is a very real experience and one that requires much thought. I will personally hack the arms off anyone who makes fun of you. I'm so sure no-one will that I didn't bring my hacking knife.
Your friends seem to see that you're strong and willful. True friends can see the qualities of people, and I have no doubt they are right.
I'm sure you've heard this before, but life itself is a major challenge. If I may quote, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it.
Now I know internet friendships are not nearly as meaningful or useful as physical in-the-flesh friendships, but I can assure you that this community is a community that treats each other as physical friends would. The death of any member, yourself included would cause anguish within the community deep into it's core.
I suggest looking at the following websites.
I know English is not your first language, but I'm sure you can handle them, as your english skills are brilliant (even better than mine!
http://www.samaritans.co.uk/
Offer help advice to those who seek it. Always friendly and willing to help.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Information of the consequences of suicide. Very thought-provoking.
http://www.soon.org.uk/problems/suicide.htm
More useful information for you.
The main point I want to make it that you are by no means alone. I've had similar thoughts in recent years. I know no two experiences are the same, but the ultimate reward for life is to pull through it.
Thankyou for your time Chris.
Excellent post Danny
.----------------------------------------
Kikie, I think Ultrabeat has made the most important point there.
Going through times like these make you find a solution...usually the quickest possible, which would be...commiting suicide. But suicide is NOT a solution if you think about it. You're not halfway through your life yet, you have yet to live a lot, think about the future, think about all the people who have recovered from depression early in their lives and now are enjoying every moment in their lives. Do you really wanna miss that?
People around you, specially your family, love you, and I bet that you commiting suicide would oly make things worse for everybody.
I've had friends in this condition, and they all attempted suicide several times, but none of them died though, and now they seem so full of life, so active, and I think they now realize how valuable life is. This is nothing to be shamed about because it can happen to anyone, and we are more than glad to help and advice. Don't sweat it, you will recover, you can bring yourself up and nobody can bring you down..nobody. If you believe in yourself you will overcome obstacles much greater than what you're going through right now, believe me. And THAT builds a lot of character
Try to find a way to relax yourself, if your feeling depressed, get away from everybody and spend time with yourself on your own; listen to music that you like, if you like to do excercise, do it. You'll find yourself not needing that medicine again
.I now you will not stop posting here because you are a smart man and you'll figure out that life is a gift, a unique gift. And I'm not worried because you'll be juuuust fine.
Alright? Talk to ya later mate đź‘Ť
Ciao!
- 30,021
- Cuddington, Cheshire
- JDA1982
My dad got depressed, properly depressed at one time, it took him about 6 months to get over it, he had all this medication from the doctors and everything. I don't know what it's like first hand but I have witnessed it and my dad was just like you describeed you are, he'd spend all day in bed just lying there, not tired and not bothered but when he started taking the medication he started feeling better, he's well over it now, he doesn't take any medication at all anymore. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, this is exactley what my dad was told when he saw a specialist, but take the medication and over a period of time, and I'm talking possibly many months you can start to take less and less of the medication. The medication makes you feel better because what it does is it alters the chemical balance in your brain, they increase your seretonin levels or something like that. If you come off your medication you will not be doing yourself any favours, you'll be making it a lot harder for yourself to get well again.
Keef
Premium
- 25,166
- Dayton, OH
- GTP_KeefRacer
- GTP Keef
kikie, you should really be proud of yourself for telling us about your depression. Many times when people don't let others know their problem, or they don't ask for help, the situation ends badly. I'm not very good at helping people with problems and cheering them up because I've always been a loner of sorts, but I'm sure everyone, including me, cares about you and hopes you get better. The only thing I can really say is that you have to place yourself around your friends often and go have fun. WHen I'm feeling down, which I often do, I call my buddies, my cousin especially, and we go watch a movie or whatever. We have a good time, and by the time I go home I'm feeling pretty cool. Being with friends helps me feel better, and I think it helps everyone. Interaction is very important to mental health.
I'll say that my own confidence and self-esteem is very tender. Many times it's something insignficant that gets me down. Just two days ago I got yet another speeding ticket. Sure, I broke the law, but it really isn't that big a deal in the scheme of things. But I still went home after that and I felt lie giving up driving forever. I felt like no matter what I did I just wasn't fit for the responsibility. Because of that I thought that, since driving and the dream of drivig nice cars and racing is one of very few things that keeps me going to school and work, I didn't have any reason to wake up. My mind just couldn't figure it out at the time. But then I eralized how dumb that was, and I got up and went to school taday and I feel better. I think my episodes like that one are pretty goofy but I still don't know why I allow myself to think like that. It seems like a cycle I have or something.
And another confession: I totally walked in on my buddy and his girlfriend having sex last week. I always joke about joining or watching them, but I was just kidding. I didn't think I'd actually do that! So I stood there for like 10 seconds. He's like "Dude, get the #$@@ out!" I'm like "Just keep going man, don't mind me." ANd then it hit me. I was staring at my friends balls. I flt so gross after that, but I was laughing so hard! BTW, it smelled awful in there.
I'll say that my own confidence and self-esteem is very tender. Many times it's something insignficant that gets me down. Just two days ago I got yet another speeding ticket. Sure, I broke the law, but it really isn't that big a deal in the scheme of things. But I still went home after that and I felt lie giving up driving forever. I felt like no matter what I did I just wasn't fit for the responsibility. Because of that I thought that, since driving and the dream of drivig nice cars and racing is one of very few things that keeps me going to school and work, I didn't have any reason to wake up. My mind just couldn't figure it out at the time. But then I eralized how dumb that was, and I got up and went to school taday and I feel better. I think my episodes like that one are pretty goofy but I still don't know why I allow myself to think like that. It seems like a cycle I have or something.
And another confession: I totally walked in on my buddy and his girlfriend having sex last week. I always joke about joining or watching them, but I was just kidding. I didn't think I'd actually do that! So I stood there for like 10 seconds. He's like "Dude, get the #$@@ out!" I'm like "Just keep going man, don't mind me." ANd then it hit me. I was staring at my friends balls. I flt so gross after that, but I was laughing so hard! BTW, it smelled awful in there.
- 1,980
Post #51 just made me fall of my chair 
Unbelievable. Now I really feel a part of GTP. I didn't think that I would get that much sympathy from you guys, thanks. I always thought that I was just a member that wasn't noticable, kind of invisible.
Thanks for the kind words and the support, for the previous posts and the possible posts in the future. Thank you guys.
It wasn't my intention to look for sympathy but to let all of you know what was going on with me. It came all straight from my heart.
Now I leaving for the gym to train a little. I know that I don't make enough serotonin, a neurotransmitter in the brain. This imbalance causes me to feel very bad. + I have too much cortisol in my blood due to the depression. Sports helps creating more serotonin. I don't feel good at the moment but I do have to go to the gym, if I don't........
Chris
Thanks for the kind words and the support, for the previous posts and the possible posts in the future. Thank you guys.
It wasn't my intention to look for sympathy but to let all of you know what was going on with me. It came all straight from my heart.
Now I leaving for the gym to train a little. I know that I don't make enough serotonin, a neurotransmitter in the brain. This imbalance causes me to feel very bad. + I have too much cortisol in my blood due to the depression. Sports helps creating more serotonin. I don't feel good at the moment but I do have to go to the gym, if I don't........
Chris
- 3,534
- London
- 3,534
- London
...im gay
- 3,534
- London
hehe yea sorry man, i was just joking. It seemed alot funnier a couple of hours ago. Had 2 exams at uni and i had a few drinks to unwind...you understand
Anyway Kikie, just remember, it isnt the end of the world. Things WILL get better, we all feel down sometimes. When i feel down i listen to some music or drive a good couple of hours on the nurburgring or just go for a drive in my car down some country roads which always makes me forget my problems or worries. That said though, i don't really have an idea of how you feel or how hard it is for you but thats my little input anyway...
You will always have friends and a listening ear @ GTP, just tell us how your doing every now and again...
Anyway Kikie, just remember, it isnt the end of the world. Things WILL get better, we all feel down sometimes. When i feel down i listen to some music or drive a good couple of hours on the nurburgring or just go for a drive in my car down some country roads which always makes me forget my problems or worries. That said though, i don't really have an idea of how you feel or how hard it is for you but thats my little input anyway
...You will always have friends and a listening ear @ GTP, just tell us how your doing every now and again...
OZZYGT
Premium
- 3,716
- NYC
- OZZYGT
....i had a few drinks to unwind...you understand
What I understand is...drunk people always tell the truth
Ciao!
Evolution.
(Banned)
- 3,722
Hello Chris. You have absolutely done the right thing here.
It's a very brave thing to do, to admit you felt like taking your own life. However, you need to consider the consequences on those around you.
I know you're a good person, and I'm sure you wouldn't want the suffering of friends and family who love you.
No-one is going to make fun of you. This is a very real experience and one that requires much thought. I will personally hack the arms off anyone who makes fun of you. I'm so sure no-one will that I didn't bring my hacking knife.
Your friends seem to see that you're strong and willful. True friends can see the qualities of people, and I have no doubt they are right.
I'm sure you've heard this before, but life itself is a major challenge. If I may quote, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it.
Now I know internet friendships are not nearly as meaningful or useful as physical in-the-flesh friendships, but I can assure you that this community is a community that treats each other as physical friends would. The death of any member, yourself included would cause anguish within the community deep into it's core.
I suggest looking at the following websites.
I know English is not your first language, but I'm sure you can handle them, as your english skills are brilliant (even better than mine!
http://www.samaritans.co.uk/
Offer help advice to those who seek it. Always friendly and willing to help.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Information of the consequences of suicide. Very thought-provoking.
http://www.soon.org.uk/problems/suicide.htm
More useful information for you.
The main point I want to make it that you are by no means alone. I've had similar thoughts in recent years. I know no two experiences are the same, but the ultimate reward for life is to pull through it.
Thankyou for your time Chris.
That deserves some serious +Repping.
Really, the only thing I can say is that, if you're considering suicide, think of those you'll leave behind. Parents, friends, sisters, brothers, even us here at GTP. Many would mourn your loss forever. Many people think that suicide is just about them. They end their life, and it's over. But the repercussions that result from it are what nobody ever thinks about. I cannot imagine being able to deal with it if someone I was very close to or cared very much about took their own life. It would be very hard to take in.
Just keep on truckin' man. If you can, download the song "Going Through Hell" by Rodney Atkins. That song, if any, can definitely raise your spirits in hard times if any can.
GTPlanet.net is like a big family. We are all here for you. If you ever need to get something off your chest, talk about something, advice, whatever...we're here. GTP is a very accepting community under that joking outer shell. We've got alot of good people here (and I tip my hat to Duke and Danny for their class act posts).
Sorry if I came off the wrong way. I'm not good at searching for words when it comes to things like this. Just hope I could help man
.The Ultimate Cheerer-Upper
.
- 24,344
- Midlantic Area
- GTP_Duke
My comment was really directed at Slick Rick. However, he's since come back and made a worthwhile post, so it's all good now.No no, I wasn't trying to be dis-respectful. In fact, I would have tipped off my hat if he was serious about it. It takes courage for someone to confess that on a wide community like this one
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