Jokes!!

  • Thread starter DQuaN
  • 4,704 comments
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After work, a man went to the drive-thru at a Taco Bell restaurant.

The next thing he did was gas.
 
My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn't help but admire it.

"Nice car," I said as he got out.

"Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."
 
Along those same lines, and it'll likely only be funny to me but I give you this true story:

My wife and her boss drove into the parking lot of the hospital at the same time yesterday morning. As she gets out of her CR-V and he gets out of his Escalade, he says "You drive exactly what I thought you would - something small and practical." My wife retorted with "And you paid too much for your Tahoe."
 
TB
Along those same lines, and it'll likely only be funny to me but I give you this true story:

My wife and her boss drove into the parking lot of the hospital at the same time yesterday morning. As she gets out of her CR-V and he gets out of his Escalade, he says "You drive exactly what I thought you would - something small and practical." My wife retorted with "And you paid too much for your Tahoe."
Click to expand...

^BUUUURRNNN!!!! :lol:

Nicksfix
Affairs & Obama
Click to expand...

:lol::lol::lol:
 
TB
As she gets out of her CR-V and he gets out of his Escalade, he says "You drive exactly what I thought you would - something small and practical." My wife retorted with "And you paid too much for your Tahoe."
Click to expand...
Only in America can a CR-V be considered "small."
 
I received a letter today saying I'd qualified for the finals of Cynic of the Year 2012. There's got to be a catch though.
 
Someone I follow on Twitter does 'crap jokes Friday', these are from there. :lol:

Manager to new signing:"I'm going to pull you off at half time." Player: "Great. We only got oranges at my old club."
 
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has begun a music career. His first song is to be titled "With Or Without Jews".
 
*Olympic commentary*
And it's Daley with 2 and a half somersaults with pike
And the pike doesn't look very happy about it
 
I sometimes like to ring up a pychic hotline and ask them what colour clothes im wearing...
 
There was a Pepsi can and a Coca-Cola can. The Pepsi kept imitating the Coca-Cola.

After all, Pepsi - Pepdo.
 
An elderly gentleman was visiting his son when he asked if he could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century," he said. "I don't waste my money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad."

The fly never knew what hit him.
 
TB
An elderly gentleman was visiting his son when he asked if he could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century," he said. "I don't waste my money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad."

The fly never knew what hit him.
Click to expand...

hehe...I don't get it. :indiff:
 
TB
An elderly gentleman was visiting his son when he asked if he could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century," he said. "I don't waste my money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad."

The fly never knew what hit him.
Click to expand...

:lol:
 

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