For the last year, GTPlanet members have been tasked with reviewing the best and worst that Gran Turismo 6 has to offer. Some found gems, some found turds. Today we celebrate those gems and turds with:
GTPlanet's Beater or Sleeper Car of the Year Awards!
Other awards shows have entertainment acts and celebrities. You get my fat (expletive) and the music you can make with your mouth. If that's not good enough for you, Google the words "Justin Beiber" and promptly
STFU,
GTFO and
DIAF. We thank you for your cooperation.
Like all other awards shows, we'll delay the bigger prizes until the end because our ratings suck and you'll just skip everything before then anyway.
The first award is the
Bridgette Wilson Award for Best Hair and Makeup.
The nominees are: 2010 Peugeot RCZ, 1999 Jaguar XKR, 2001 Spyker C8 Laviolette and the 2001 Honda/Acura NSX
...and the winner is:
Our next award is the
Tammy Faye Bakker Award for Worst Hair and Makeup.
The nominees are: 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse, 2008 Dodge Challenger, 1993 Mazda 323F/Lantis Coupe 2000 Type R and 2003 Chrysler Neon SRT4
...and the winner is:
The 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse!
When not in Gran Turismo, cars will often times fill their spare time by appearing on television and in films.
The Susan Lucci Award honors the
Best Supporting Actor in Gran Turismo.
The nominees are: 1984 Ferrari GTO for
Magnum P.I., 1966 Volkswagen 1200 for
Herbie Does Dallas, 2003 Acura CL 3.2 Type S for the play
Driving Miss Daisy and 1998 Ford Taurus SHO for
Queer As Folk.
...and the winner is:
The 1966 Volkswagen 1200 for Herbie Does Dallas!
Is this where you want to be when the baby Jesus comes back? The
Joe Dirt "I'm-your-sister" Award is awarded to the car that best represents Detroit's inbred past, present, and future.
The nominees are: 1970 Plymouth Superbird, 2003 Ford SVT Lightning, 2008 Dodge Challenger and 1967 Chevrolet El Camino SS 396
...and the winner is:
1970 Plymouth Superbird!
The term "luxury" is often used to describe opulence and refinement. Brands like Bugatti, Mercedes and Ferrari are well known for their decadence. The
Kim Kardashian "Bitch-how-is-you-not-a-Hobbit?" Award is given to the car that promises a 5 star Michelin rating while serving you a Big Mac and cold fries.
The nominees are: 1990 Infiniti G20, 2003 Acura CL 3.2 Type S, 1998 Toyota Corolla Levin BZ-R and 1996 Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport (C4)
...and the winner is:
Once in a while, a fresh talent surprises critics with talent that simply cannot be ignored.
The Susan Boyle Award is given to car that we find surpasses expectations, and makes Simon Cowell look like a twit. Mostly the latter.
The nominees are: 1957 BMW 507, 1972 Alpine A110 1600, 2010 Peugeot RCZ and 2008 BMW Z4M
...and the winner is:
Michael Schumacher. Juan Manuel Fangio. Sebastian Vettel. Lewis Hamilton. These drivers have amassed multiple championships by being consistent throughout the course of a season, and better than the rest of the field a majority of the time. The
Vanilla Ice Ice Baby Award is given to the GTPlanet member that best embodies the exact opposite of that, displaying a glimmer of hope only one lap at a time, per season.
The nominees are: McClarenDesign for every single race, ever. SuzukaStar for his amazing research at Fuji, or lackof. Vic Reign 93, for that (expletive) he did with the Chaparral 2X and NixxxoN for his incredible
interview with David Frost.
...and the winner is:
In 2014, the world saw the global economy improve so much that the bottom 99% no longer mean anything. Corporate profits are at an all-time high, while wages are still stagnant if not falling. The
Wall Street Journal Too-Big-To-Jail Award is given to the car that no one but the top 1% can afford, and because Santa also hates poor people.
The nominees are: 1964 Shelby Cobra Daytona Coupe, 1984 Ferrari GTO, 2013 Bugatti Veyron and 1989 Sauber Mercedes C9.
...and the winner is:
The 2013 Bugatti Veyron!
In 2008 the first GT Academy was held, and the day before the finals began, young Ted Thomas lost his life due to tragic and bizarre series of events. We honor Ted's memory each year by awarding the Grand Prize winner of GT Academy with a Red Helmet. This year we're also presenting a Ted Thomas Memorial Trophy to The Most Improved Driver over the course of the year.
There are no nominees.
...and the winner is:
Before we finish the evening, we want to take this moment to flush. We've handled our fair share of fecal matter this year, and now it's time to crown the King Turd of dung pile. If the automotive industry has an anus,
The Worst Car of the Year would surely be from it, likely in liquid form.
The nominees are: 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8, 2003 Acura CL 3.2 Type S, 2002 Caterham Seven Fireblade and 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse
...and the winner is:
The 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse!
Determination. Courage. Motivation. Concentration. The prestigious Driver of the Year Award requires none of these traits. Instead it's awarded purely on the recommendation of the other drivers, the ones who put their lives at absolutely no risk every week. These are the men and women that accept no for an answer. Mostly women.
The Driver of the Year nominees are: McClarenDesign (again), Baron Blitz Red, JackRyanWMU and photonrider
...and the winner is:
Finally, it's time to present this year's Car of the Year Award. This is the award is given to the car that exceeded expectations in all areas, including comfort and interior styling. This is the car that other cars want to be. Unlike the awards given by Motor Trend, this award hasn't been pre-purchased by the manufacturer, but instead chosen by the members of GTPlanet (after accepting enough money to air condition hell from the manufacturer).
The nominees are: 1984 Ferrari GTO, 2001 Volkswagen Lupo GTI, 1997 Mitsubishi Mirage Cyborg ZR and 2004 Alfa Romeo 3.2 V6 24V
...and the winner is:
The 2004 Alfa Romeo GT 3.2 V6 24V!!!
Join us next week as we begin this process all over again for 2015. One lucky post will be chosen to disappoint the rest of us with their selection. You have been warned. Wardrobe provided by Hugo Boss. Please drink and drive responsibly. Promotional consideration paid for by: nobody.