Depression and Anxiety Thread
- Thread starter JohnBM01
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HenrySwanson
(Banned)
- 2,942
- United Kingdom
I did not know this was a thing - thanks for highlighting it. Good to see you're on the mend.
That's....a long time. Do you see anyone for it?
I decided to withdraw from my job offer so am now looking at alternatives. It was a hard decision but I really felt there was a ceiling to my abilities and wasn't confident I'd be the right fit for the job. It's very annoying and depressing as it was 6 years of study and a vocation and I'm really not sure how to progress.MatskiMonk
- 17,337
- United Kingdom
My local bartender.
Seriously, no. I know it makes me stubborn and a bit pig headed, and I know people that literally can't get through life without therapy, but I've never done it. I was sent for CBT the first time I ever spoke to my Doctor about it, but never went. I don't believe words can fix the problems, I know it will take action and effort from me, a strangers words won't change that, they won't change the past, and without me doing what I have to do, it won't change the future (other than make me poorer). I've spent most of my life analysing the way I feel and the way I think, deep down, I know what I have to do, I just can't do it. The inhibition effects of alcohol always get me closer, but never close enough, and nothing prescription ever did any good.Maybe I will one day, when it's too late!
It is maybe just a personal thing and other people don't have the same issue with general anaesthesia?
- 4,159
- United States
I could use a cigarette.
The past two years have been bad for me and a lot of what I built up for myself is gone and I am back to square one.
I have severe PTSD. I've been taking melatonin for the past month just to sleep at night.
On top of that I have a form of OCD that not many people know of. It's embarrassing and noticable.
I've taken medicine for this, but it made me feel like I was going for a ride in my own body.
It's not that I want to end it all, I'm just thinking about it. There's so much potential for me, so much good to do, so much to see, but the question I ask is if I will ever see or live to my own potential.
The past two years have been bad for me and a lot of what I built up for myself is gone and I am back to square one.
I have severe PTSD. I've been taking melatonin for the past month just to sleep at night.
On top of that I have a form of OCD that not many people know of. It's embarrassing and noticable.
I've taken medicine for this, but it made me feel like I was going for a ride in my own body.
It's not that I want to end it all, I'm just thinking about it. There's so much potential for me, so much good to do, so much to see, but the question I ask is if I will ever see or live to my own potential.
- 30,044
- Thailand
Is it this? That’s what I deal with on a daily basis. You can’t imagine how much time I spend sweeping up after myself.
- 30,044
- Thailand
As expected on the road back to sobriety, I’m completely bummed out until the alcohol is totally out of my system. That could be up to a month, I suppose.
The stress from all directions is wearing me down to the where I feel totally despondent to thought of the future. I’m just hurdling each day at a time with no particular direction or motivation.
I honestly believe that if I didn’t have to hold it together for the sake of the job that I love, I’d be in millions of little pieces right now, metaphorically speaking, of course.
The stress from all directions is wearing me down to the where I feel totally despondent to thought of the future. I’m just hurdling each day at a time with no particular direction or motivation.
I honestly believe that if I didn’t have to hold it together for the sake of the job that I love, I’d be in millions of little pieces right now, metaphorically speaking, of course.
- 12,389
- Betelgeuse
- Beeblebrox_237
I don't know if it's something you've tried, but I'd suggest making some notecards or wallchart or something with a grid set up with either 7 or 14 columns. Label them by days of the week, and put an X through each day you go without having a drink. That way you have a visible and tangible record of just how well you're doing. It might help to see what you've already accomplished. Beating addiction isn't an easy task, but I've heard it helps to have tangible things to celebrate milestones, as well. Get a tattoo to celebrate a meaningful milestone, or save up some of your money that would otherwise have been spent on beer and buy something you really wanted after a year sober. That way you've not only got something to work towards, but you've got a trophy to show for your progress. You've got this!
- 4,159
- United States
It feels strange but having your own family to rely on
- 17,337
- United Kingdom
Don't forget that alcohol affects your body and brain chemistry in indirect ways. I'd look at taking vitamin supplements if you don't already, particularly Magnesium. Alcohol flushes Magnesium out of you, and Magnesium deficiency is a cause of lots of problems including depression and anxiety (and lots of physical symptoms). It's only when I stop taking Magnesium that I really how much of an effect it has.
I'm trying to kick it at the moment also.
I've stacked on weight this year, and it's all because of alcohol and age. For the first time in about 15 years I went rock climbing a couple of weeks back, and after being almost competition level at the age of 20, at the age of 40 I can barely do a pull up. It's 'depressing' in it's own right. My intention is to at least get back from 95 kg to about 80kg in weight... and that's only possible if I cut my alcohol intake -- and don't substitute it with anything else. As you probably know sugar cravings can be high when you stop drinking.. and since I'm also on Huel (a vegan meal drink), I've already got strong cravings for fats and salts too.
...So far, over the past week I think the closest I've got is a day when I only had 1 bottle of Corona... so I've not actually stopped yet. I did pour away half a bottle of Whisky this morning to remove the temptation when I get home. We'll see.
- 30,044
- Thailand
Best of luck, @MatskiMonk.
- 17,337
- United Kingdom
HenrySwanson
(Banned)
- 2,942
- United Kingdom
It's in the literature so it's been recognised before. Very interesting
Have you or a doctor looked into high dose baclofen?My local bartender.
Maybe I will one day, when it's too late!
https://www.rehabs.com/pro-talk-art...ses-of-baclofen-to-suppress-alcohol-cravings/
It's not for everyone but it might be worth a shot, especially if you have anxiety problems
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That is actually good to know.
- 78
- Houston, TX
Chiming into this thread to share my troubles, I may need some help here....
So, about a decade ago, I felt that life was good, I was optimistic, not to mention the summers of 2007-2010 for me were by and far the happiest times of my life. I was 11-13 years old then. I am painfully nostalgic about those days as a pre-teen/early teenager, and as much as I know those days won't ever come back, I desparately want to go back to the days when I was the happiest in my life, more than anything. My life now feels miserable by comparison.
Now, I'm 22 y/o, and I'm not sure if i felt worse in my life. I failed all my college classes earlier this spring; forget about graduating college on time. I've been extremely depressed, disillusioned, insecure, and longing for my pre-teen days, back when I was actually enjoying my life and when I wasn't going through the living hell that I am now. I cannot seem to enjoy things like I could 10 years ago. I am extremely depressed, and doubtful that things will ever get better for me. At this point, I'm wanting to give up on life completely, and I don't know what to make of myself right now. At least I have my Game Boy Advance, PS2 and a copy of Gran Turismo 4 for me to relive my better days.
I guess it turns out, 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day wasn't just a song that evokes nostalgia in me, it now seems like a prophecy of my current situation and all it's depressing misery. I wish I knew how to make myself feel better, but I don't. I think I need some advice on how to fix this...
So, about a decade ago, I felt that life was good, I was optimistic, not to mention the summers of 2007-2010 for me were by and far the happiest times of my life. I was 11-13 years old then. I am painfully nostalgic about those days as a pre-teen/early teenager, and as much as I know those days won't ever come back, I desparately want to go back to the days when I was the happiest in my life, more than anything. My life now feels miserable by comparison.
Now, I'm 22 y/o, and I'm not sure if i felt worse in my life. I failed all my college classes earlier this spring; forget about graduating college on time. I've been extremely depressed, disillusioned, insecure, and longing for my pre-teen days, back when I was actually enjoying my life and when I wasn't going through the living hell that I am now. I cannot seem to enjoy things like I could 10 years ago. I am extremely depressed, and doubtful that things will ever get better for me. At this point, I'm wanting to give up on life completely, and I don't know what to make of myself right now. At least I have my Game Boy Advance, PS2 and a copy of Gran Turismo 4 for me to relive my better days.
I guess it turns out, 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day wasn't just a song that evokes nostalgia in me, it now seems like a prophecy of my current situation and all it's depressing misery. I wish I knew how to make myself feel better, but I don't. I think I need some advice on how to fix this...
Dan
Premium
- 15,396
- United States
I don’t like giving out boilerplate responses, but I think you should look for a professional to help you through this. They’ll be able to offer better advice than we can.
- 26,911
- Houston, Texas, USA
- JMarine25
First half of 2019 is over. Hopefully the second half of 2019 will go better for you if the first half wasn't that good. I try to have that "turn-the-page" or "tomorrow is a new day" mentality for when times haven't been very good. Depression will catch up to you when you're down, but don't let it win. Seek help if you can. Take certain supplements if you have to. Just try to keep yourself upright in the toughest of times.
- 1,969
- A field in England
Only just learned about the phq score about a month ago. From one week to the next it had varied. Somewhere between 10 and... maybe 17 or 18? The last couple of days have been a pit for me. I got 21 tonight. Life just feels empty. Meaningless. Like in 24 years, I've achieved nothing I consider to be meaningful or worthwhile. I earn enough to get by, doing a job that I should love (I'm my own boss and I detail cars), but after 2 years, it's just routine. It's there, like everything else. I own 3 cars, one of which you could say is a semi-dream car. But all I've learned in 6 years of driving is that cars can't replace people.
My friends are gone. They moved away, they're at university or they're settled, they have their own lives, they have partners. And I'm still at home, living with my parents. Loneliness takes over. Every day thoughts go through my head. "Would anyone outside Mum and Dad even notice if you died tomorrow? Who would care? Nobody relies on you for anything. You are worth nothing to anyone."
Worth. That's a common theme for me - all I ever see is happy people, friends or couples, thankful for support of their friends or loved ones (on facebook for example). I've offered a shoulder to so many, tried to be a friend, and none have taken the offer, much less offered anything in return. Nobody needs me for anything. They say you have to love yourself before anyone else can, but that's the crux of it, isn't it? How can I feel like I'm of value, when nobody else does? Everyone wants to be wanted or needed.
"It's all in your head."
That's the worst part. Nobody feels what's in my head. I deal with it alone. It's like I get this churning, numb, almost poisonous feeling in my stomach, fingers and toes. Like death is clawing at my extremities and trying to overcome me.
Loneliness keeps taking over. Making new friends is hard. My job has me meeting new people several days a week, but work is still work, I'm doing a job. I'm not the kind of person who's going to make friends in a bar or a nightclub - I don't even drink because I always have to drive the next day. I'm on several dating sites, too. I daren't count how many women I've messaged to end up with no reply. It's soul-crushing. I'm not even worth a text message.
I don't know. It's like I'm just giving up on living. I go to bed at night, I sleep for 8 hours, wake up and feel like I haven't slept. I get up, force down breakfast because the numbness in my stomach is telling me to stop eating completely. I go to work, clean a car or two, come home, stuff my face with junkfood (the churning goes briefly to be replaced by comfort eating), go to the next job, come home, eat a nice home-cooked meal that my mother has prepared, and then I sit there. In my room. And wait to go to bed again. I have an easy life. No money trouble, my parents' house is nice, spotlessly clean, and in the countryside. I don't even have anything to be unhappy about.
Christ, that was a long text-wedge...
My friends are gone. They moved away, they're at university or they're settled, they have their own lives, they have partners. And I'm still at home, living with my parents. Loneliness takes over. Every day thoughts go through my head. "Would anyone outside Mum and Dad even notice if you died tomorrow? Who would care? Nobody relies on you for anything. You are worth nothing to anyone."
Worth. That's a common theme for me - all I ever see is happy people, friends or couples, thankful for support of their friends or loved ones (on facebook for example). I've offered a shoulder to so many, tried to be a friend, and none have taken the offer, much less offered anything in return. Nobody needs me for anything. They say you have to love yourself before anyone else can, but that's the crux of it, isn't it? How can I feel like I'm of value, when nobody else does? Everyone wants to be wanted or needed.
"It's all in your head."
That's the worst part. Nobody feels what's in my head. I deal with it alone. It's like I get this churning, numb, almost poisonous feeling in my stomach, fingers and toes. Like death is clawing at my extremities and trying to overcome me.
Loneliness keeps taking over. Making new friends is hard. My job has me meeting new people several days a week, but work is still work, I'm doing a job. I'm not the kind of person who's going to make friends in a bar or a nightclub - I don't even drink because I always have to drive the next day. I'm on several dating sites, too. I daren't count how many women I've messaged to end up with no reply. It's soul-crushing. I'm not even worth a text message.
I don't know. It's like I'm just giving up on living. I go to bed at night, I sleep for 8 hours, wake up and feel like I haven't slept. I get up, force down breakfast because the numbness in my stomach is telling me to stop eating completely. I go to work, clean a car or two, come home, stuff my face with junkfood (the churning goes briefly to be replaced by comfort eating), go to the next job, come home, eat a nice home-cooked meal that my mother has prepared, and then I sit there. In my room. And wait to go to bed again. I have an easy life. No money trouble, my parents' house is nice, spotlessly clean, and in the countryside. I don't even have anything to be unhappy about.
Christ, that was a long text-wedge...
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HenrySwanson
(Banned)
- 2,942
- United Kingdom
- 1,969
- A field in England
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I feel the same way about being left out, mostly in the same boat, only difference is I don't have a legitimate medical condition to excuse my situation. If you want to chat about things, feel free.
I downloaded last night and will see how it goes. Thanks for the recommendation, Henry.
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