Depression and Anxiety Thread

[MatskiMonk]

I've spent the last 20 years trying drink my life away, I drink enough to deserve to be dead already twice over. Today I find out that my best friend, whose overcome testicular cancer to become a father recently, now has about 6 months to live because of a brain tumor.

That ain't fair.

 

[W3H5]

That ain't fair.

That ain’t fair at all. I’ve always found these circumstance hard to deal with; regular, apparently healthy people falling down on their health despite leading a relatively vice free life.

People like ourselves who seem intent on self destruction somehow manage to remain mostly in one piece.

It’s very unfair.

 

[Michael88]

That ain’t fair at all. I’ve always found these circumstance hard to deal with; regular, apparently healthy people falling down on their health despite leading a relatively vice free life.

People like ourselves who seem intent on self destruction somehow manage to remain mostly in one piece.

It’s very unfair.

Probably genetics. People who didn't give a damn about health AND had bad genetics didn't survive to reproduce. Same with the sickly idiots.
Tough idiots and the genius but sickly are the survivors.

 

[kikie]

Epigenetics is more important.

 

[lbpomg95]

I owe @HenrySwanson a thank you. I downloaded Wisdo. I've been feeling better, finding people who I can relate to. I can't recommend it enough.

It's simple, the problems are laid out, you pick one, and talk to people going through similar. Came across one person and we've been chatting non-stop for days.

I think I might have finally found some sort of path to happiness.

 

[Greycap]

That ain’t fair at all. I’ve always found these circumstance hard to deal with; regular, apparently healthy people falling down on their health despite leading a relatively vice free life.

Tell me about it... never drank, never smoked, BMI hovering right around 20 and used to bike around 5000 km a year. Diagnosed with "very severe, disabling, enthesitis-type psoriatic arthritis" five years ago. I can now say that I was wading in pretty damn deep waters back then.

 

[kikie]

 

[MedigoFlame]

Things feel like they are back on the decline. Losing motivation to do basic things. Can't sleep, barely eating, and not really wanting to talk to people anymore. My brother isn't doing well and is going to need surgery and I managed to piss off a good friend of mine, who has stopped speaking to me for several days now. I feel anger towards almost everything around me, but I feel even more spiteful towards myself. It's like anything I do or say upsets someone I care about because of something stupid I do/say. And when something goes wrong for someone I care about, I keep asking myself why it couldn't be me instead. Watching family members have increasing health issues and close friends pushed away because of a stupid mistake I made really makes me feel like a problem...

I feel like I should seek professional help, but all I keep doing is telling myself that I don't have time or money to do so. Becoming more and more frustrated with myself and thinking I keep causing issues that never should have existed in the first place. There was a time where I felt like things were coming back together after getting laid off from my previous job and finding a new one that was considerably better. Now it feels like it's back to falling apart. I keep being told it's just a lesson in life, but it only seems to get worse with new problems.

I feel like posting here is a little better than my own social media, as all it does is push away people if I express myself.... Probably rambling, but I don't know who to talk to or where to express how I'm feeling anymore. I wonder if I'm just being an overdramatic idiot most of the time..

 

[MatskiMonk]

Not long now.

 

[kikie]

Not long now.

What are you saying?

 

[kikie]

Am I the only one who is worried?

 

[W3H5]

Am I the only one who is worried?

No, the post was concerning. But in reality, we don’t know what it means and there’s little we can do except hope that it was drunken gibberish.

 

[Dotini]

My best friend since the 70's has depression, which never gets better despite occasional different drugs. To that extent I know depression. I don't have depression myself. I probably even cause it sometimes.

 

[kikie]

No, the post was concerning. But in reality, we don’t know what it means and there’s little we can do except hope that it was drunken gibberish.

Yes, but I can't stop worrying. It is who I am.

 

[W3H5]

Yes, but I can't stop worrying. It is who I am.

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”

-Epictetus

 

[the_greeze]

So, I've gotta decent job, gotta wife and kid, things could be worse I guess, so why do I feel so low? Is it cos I'm 50? I dunno, just feel so dissatisfied with life. Had a good friend of mine commit suicide back in April and I think about him everyday. We kind of lost touch and next thing I know, I'm attending his funeral. I mean, WTF?

Sad times...

 

[Dotini]

Question: What role does purpose play in depression? In other words, if you feel you have a strong or clear purpose in life, does that strongly correlate, strongly not correlate, or have no discernible correlation with depression?

 

[Imari]

Question: What role does purpose play in depression? In other words, if you feel you have a strong or clear purpose in life, does that strongly correlate, strongly not correlate, or have no discernible correlation with depression?

Purpose can be a reason to keep fighting depression, but it doesn't make it go away, unfortunately.

So, I've gotta decent job, gotta wife and kid, things could be worse I guess, so why do I feel so low? Is it cos I'm 50? I dunno, just feel so dissatisfied with life. Had a good friend of mine commit suicide back in April and I think about him everyday. We kind of lost touch and next thing I know, I'm attending his funeral. I mean, WTF?

Sad times...

Sometimes there's an obvious reason, but sometimes I think it can just be like catching a cold. Maybe you walked in the rain for a bit, or hugged a snotty child or did nothing at all, and suddenly your body is fighting off an infection. Mental illness isn't necessarily an infection or virus, but nor is it necessarily something that you've done to yourself or that could even have been avoided.

If there are physiological causes, GPs and psychiatrists can help with drugs that may treat or at least minimise the unpleasantness of the day to day. Psychologists can talk with you if there are life problems that your head is stuck on, and help walk you through how to best be kind to yourself in your new, unwell state.

Don't beat yourself up with things like "my life is pretty good, why do I feel bad?" Your life situation has nothing to do with it. People of all sorts from the wealthiest and happiest successes to the homeless guys living under the bridge are all susceptible. It sucks that you're going through this and I'm sorry to hear it, but it's absolutely not your fault.

 

[W3H5]

Question: What role does purpose play in depression? In other words, if you feel you have a strong or clear purpose in life, does that strongly correlate, strongly not correlate, or have no discernible correlation with depression?

I've been through what I thought was an existential crisis which turned out to be a twisted bout of depression.

I think due to the nature of the thing, one could have the highest purpose of all mankind and still end up under a cloud. While an amount of depression can be put down to environmental factors, there's just as much that is caused by the imbalance of chemicals.

In relation to that last sentence, I can honestly say I'm feeling pretty well currently having almost completely cut junk and processed foods from my diet, kept sober for 3 weeks (hardest challenge of all) and regularly taken my meds and vitamin supplements. The manic depression is chronic, I've no doubt about that, but while working on keeping healthy I seem to deal with it much better.

 

[kikie]

No news about @MatskiMonk?

 

[MatskiMonk]

No news about @MatskiMonk?

I am still here. Thanks for the concern.

I've been freaking out a bit recently. The news about my friends impending death has had quite an effect on me to be honest. A lot of things are going quite badly at the moment, I can't remember if I've posted here about it or not, but two groups of people independently expressed their concern over me appearing to be suicidal. I've not actually felt that I am, so I shrugged it off a bit, but last week it got a whole lot closer, mentally at least. I'm sure most people in this thread have questioned how much longer they can put up with feeling the way they do, and last week I felt that the answer for me, had become inevitable, hence, not long now, because I think I am at my breaking point.

I've been advised from a non-professional that I'm suffering from burnout, which I'd not considered before, but actually makes a lot of sense. Add to that, last week I attempted to end my relationship with my girlfriend, which also had a big affect on me psychologically... though as of now, I've not actually followed that through... and am feeling better about it this week.

My friend, who is starring death in the face, has told me to stop wasting my life... I don't really know how to deal with that.

Like I say, thanks for the concern though, I don't like to appear melodramatic.

 

[kikie]

I am still here. Thanks for the concern.

I've been freaking out a bit recently. The news about my friends impending death has had quite an effect on me to be honest. A lot of things are going quite badly at the moment, I can't remember if I've posted here about it or not, but two groups of people independently expressed their concern over me appearing to be suicidal. I've not actually felt that I am, so I shrugged it off a bit, but last week it got a whole lot closer, mentally at least. I'm sure most people in this thread have questioned how much longer they can put up with feeling the way they do, and last week I felt that the answer for me, had become inevitable, hence, not long now, because I think I am at my breaking point.

I've been advised from a non-professional that I'm suffering from burnout, which I'd not considered before, but actually makes a lot of sense. Add to that, last week I attempted to end my relationship with my girlfriend, which also had a big affect on me psychologically... though as of now, I've not actually followed that through... and am feeling better about it this week.

My friend, who is starring death in the face, has told me to stop wasting my life... I don't really know how to deal with that.

Like I say, thanks for the concern though, I don't like to appear melodramatic.

Pfff, happy to be hearing from you again.

Your friend is correct. >> Take it from me a who had 6 severe, very severe depressions (I always scored more than the maximum score that signifies a severe depression), psychoses, phobia, one real suicide attempt in September 2006 and whatnot.

I don't know you except from your post here on GTP of course and I don't know what you are going through or what the reason(s) is (are) for feeling the way you do but you have to take action and do something about your situation to make it better. Find help, preferably professional help. Don't worry about medication because most of the time professional help try the help without meds first. And as a last resort, if nothing else works, they suggest meds but you don't have to take these.

Keep posting in this thread and write all your frustrations and problems down. It helps.

 

[HenrySwanson]

I owe @HenrySwanson a thank you. I downloaded Wisdo. I've been feeling better, finding people who I can relate to. I can't recommend it enough.

It's simple, the problems are laid out, you pick one, and talk to people going through similar. Came across one person and we've been chatting non-stop for days.

I think I might have finally found some sort of path to happiness.

Glad you find it useful!

Also love the profile pic - my dad is a mechanic who specialises in Volvos (especially classics like the Amazon and P1800) so the thread in your sig is great to read.

 

[lbpomg95]

Glad you find it useful!

Also love the profile pic - my dad is a mechanic who specialises in Volvos (especially classics like the Amazon and P1800) so the thread in your sig is great to read.

The P1800 is my dream car, but the prices are out of my league now.

 

[Casey]

Lesson learned that a job doesn't make you happy if it nearly kills you to do it...

 

[W3H5]

Lesson learned that a job doesn't make you happy if it nearly kills you to do it...

Unless you’re a stunt man.

 

[Casey]

Unless you’re a stunt man.

Maybe

In all seriousness though I don't think I can handle doing dock work. I've had a back Injury in the past and it just seems to come back. I'm gonna see if I can change positions today. I originally applied for retail but I thought I could handle docking but it was too much for me. :/

 

[kikie]

I am still here. Thanks for the concern.

I've been freaking out a bit recently. The news about my friends impending death has had quite an effect on me to be honest. A lot of things are going quite badly at the moment, I can't remember if I've posted here about it or not, but two groups of people independently expressed their concern over me appearing to be suicidal. I've not actually felt that I am, so I shrugged it off a bit, but last week it got a whole lot closer, mentally at least. I'm sure most people in this thread have questioned how much longer they can put up with feeling the way they do, and last week I felt that the answer for me, had become inevitable, hence, not long now, because I think I am at my breaking point.

I've been advised from a non-professional that I'm suffering from burnout, which I'd not considered before, but actually makes a lot of sense. Add to that, last week I attempted to end my relationship with my girlfriend, which also had a big affect on me psychologically... though as of now, I've not actually followed that through... and am feeling better about it this week.

My friend, who is starring death in the face, has told me to stop wasting my life... I don't really know how to deal with that.

Like I say, thanks for the concern though, I don't like to appear melodramatic.

How have you been if you don't mind me asking?

 

[MatskiMonk]

How have you been if you don't mind me asking?

I don't mind, thanks for asking.

Terrible, same as usual. I'm in a limbo where I'm waiting for change to happen, but I'm not doing anything to bring it on. I need to quit my job, declare bankruptcy, and get my girlfriend to categorically state our relationship is over. Then, perhaps, each and every day wouldn't be spent dreading the next, as it has been for years, and I might have a chance of being a person again.

 

[kikie]

I don't mind, thanks for asking.

Terrible, same as usual. I'm in a limbo where I'm waiting for change to happen, but I'm not doing anything to bring it on. I need to quit my job, declare bankruptcy, and get my girlfriend to categorically state our relationship is over. Then, perhaps, each and every day wouldn't be spent dreading the next, as it has been for years, and I might have a chance of being a person again.

In other words, you need a new start. I truly wish your wishes come true and your life changes for the better.