Depression and Anxiety Thread

[Touring Mars]

I wonder, can this thread double for anxiety issues?

Yes - I've taken the liberty of changing the thread title to reflect this fact as well.

 

[JohnBM01]

For a moment, I wondered if someone made a duplicate thread of "Depression Thread." Only to find out... it's been renamed to "Depression and Anxiety Thread." Anxiety is as much a mental health concern as depression.

I hope you all continue to do your best to help yourself and/or others who may be dealing with depression and/or anxiety. Everyone has different stories and situations, but we all can work together to battle these feelings and conditions. I do tend to eat a piece of dark chocolate each day, since dark chocolate helps to combat depression and even lower high blood pressure.

Don't let depression (or anxiety) win.

 

[the_greeze]

So, I'm off work with ‘work-related stress causing anxiety and low mood' (to quote the doctor's note). This is the second time I've been off with these symptoms. Last time was a different position/company. I currently manage a small team of four and have been off work since the beginning of the month. It was a good job up until recently but we (I) have come under extreme scrutiny for some reason lately.

There are constant demands to do more, with less. The workload is piling up, as are the additional responsibilities. The entire team is doing their best but it seems this is not enough.

There are numerous reasons why I feel like I do; I feel like I'm not coping with the workload or demands from my line manager. There is a bad email culture from upper management that consists of emails being sent out-of-hours and very late into the evening/early hours. I have a company phone that picks these up and have had to make a conscious decision not to look at the phone in the evenings and weekends. If I do, the negativity in the emails ruin my mood.

Some of these emails are predominately seeking to blame and criticise. There is also an obvious ulterior motive of ‘ass covering’ in some of these mails too, which I find disturbing.

There's also a high degree of micro-management and I don't feel trusted to complete my duties. I'm not being fully informed of managements intentions concerning my team.

I should probably point out that no one from management has ‘called me out’ on my performance which makes all this scrutiny doubly odd.

Basically, my thought process is that I’m not cut out for this and I’m letting my family down again. I feel awful about that but I cannot carry on as I am as it’s literally making me ill. I guess this is just not for me. So, I am most likely not going to return to work there which leaves me (again) jobless and looking for a new role. This is easier said than done ‘cos the job market in my field is on its ass.

I have a meeting with HR soon so we'll see how that goes...

 

[Touring Mars]

So, I'm off work with ‘work-related stress causing anxiety and low mood' (to quote the doctor's note). This is the second time I've been off with these symptoms. Last time was a different position/company. I currently manage a small team of four and have been off work since the beginning of the month. It was a good job up until recently but we (I) have come under extreme scrutiny for some reason lately.

There are constant demands to do more, with less. The workload is piling up, as are the additional responsibilities. The entire team is doing their best but it seems this is not enough.

There are numerous reasons why I feel like I do; I feel like I'm not coping with the workload or demands from my line manager. There is a bad email culture from upper management that consists of emails being sent out-of-hours and very late into the evening/early hours. I have a company phone that picks these up and have had to make a conscious decision not to look at the phone in the evenings and weekends. If I do, the negativity in the emails ruin my mood.

Some of these emails are predominately seeking to blame and criticise. There is also an obvious ulterior motive of ‘ass covering’ in some of these mails too, which I find disturbing.

There's also a high degree of micro-management and I don't feel trusted to complete my duties. I'm not being fully informed of managements intentions concerning my team.

I should probably point out that no one from management has ‘called me out’ on my performance which makes all this scrutiny doubly odd.

Basically, my thought process is that I’m not cut out for this and I’m letting my family down again. I feel awful about that but I cannot carry on as I am as it’s literally making me ill. I guess this is just not for me. So, I am most likely not going to return to work there which leaves me (again) jobless and looking for a new role. This is easier said than done ‘cos the job market in my field is on its ass.

I have a meeting with HR soon so we'll see how that goes...

Sorry to hear that.

I've had numerous friends who have been in similar situations from time to time.

I know it is easy to say (and very hard to do) but you shouldn't let the negativity get you down - you are doing your best and it sounds like you probably care too much (or at least you care more than is being recognised by your manager(s) etc.), which is putting you in a tight spot and making you feel like you are letting people down... you are almost certainly not.

Quitting a job is not the end of the world - but if you are not in the right job (or, more accurately, if the work culture in your current job is toxic), then you are better off out of it. Handling unemployment can of course be a challenge, but there are things you can do to minimize the disruption, and by the sound of it, you may well find it takes the pressure off and allows you some time to regroup and make a fresh start.

I hope the meeting with HR goes well though - it usually helps to get these issues out in the open.

 

[JohnBM01]

Stress from a job can take its toll on you. Even as a solo creator of a lot of creative content, I know that job pressure can bring anyone down. Even I tend to feel better at times knowing that you can have extra bursts of energy at times to continue doing what you love or continue trying to complete something. So I'm sure you'll bounce back from this, the_greeze.

I am starting to believe more in the mindset of "you are your greatest investment." Work yourself hard and do your best with everything, but make sure to take care of yourself and treat yourself when you can. You aren't selfish just because you choose to help yourself rather than help others. Helping other people is still a great thing, but maintaining self-esteem and care go a long way in the long run. It is something to sort of think about when depressed and when you feel you are all you have.

 

[Michael88]

Today while walking down a street in the city I was approached by a nice looking young lady who worked for a charity project, her job was simply to talk to people, to cheer them up and help them with their problems through talking and being nice. No asking for alms, no selling stuff, just help.

From all the people in the street she picked me, in a most friendly way. And I turned her offer down in a brutish, arrogant and disgusting way before I even realized what I was doing.

Someone approached me with the genuine wish to help me some for free and I metaphorically nuked the situation, totally. I feel really sorry for her for being so rude.

What shocked me most is that I reacted so quickly and without thought, in such a bad manner, I think I really need to work on my attitude and general approach to life.....somehow. This was quite an eye opener for me.

 

[JohnBM01]

Wow. I probably would feel equally disgusted as I tend to be someone to always be positive and thoughtful to others. Maybe you just shagged her off in the heat of the moment without acting appropriately. Social skills can tie into things like depression and anxiety. Then too, some people may not even have depression or anxiety and still fall short in social skills. I probably know how you must feel after all of this, Michael88.

 

[Michael88]

Wow. I probably would feel equally disgusted as I tend to be someone to always be positive and thoughtful to others. Maybe you just shagged her off in the heat of the moment without acting appropriately. Social skills can tie into things like depression and anxiety. Then too, some people may not even have depression or anxiety and still fall short in social skills. I probably know how you must feel after all of this, Michael88.

Thing is, its bad that I react this way when I'm put on the spot and have no time to prepare a reaction or response. I think I'm a nice guy, I spend many hours per week giving people advice in my fields of experience for free (weightlifting, health, bow shooting etc.), I help people moving stuff etc. when time allows it, but when I'm caught completely off guard and something unexpected yet positive happens I instinctively behave SUPER protective and behave like a cornered animal.

This happened numerous times, when women wanted to flirt with me, when people give me presents. I just cannot help it. Don't know what it is, maybe its a stress/anxiety induced reaction or maybe its my true self showing? Its one of the things I really do not like about myself.

 

[phillgt2002]

Feeling a little better. I've gotten back into the gym for the first time in two years this week, and that has helped me gain back some confidence, it also has reminded me of how beneficial it is in terms of clarity. I love it: just the weights, my focus and drive. That said, I'm going to be getting back into my old hobby of pottery to make some wedding gifts for my sister, as well as some things for home.

My biggest issue is people to people interaction. I get really dart-eyed when talking to people. It's like I don't trust them. I close up, keep talk to minimum. I think it's what makes people suspicious of me. I stop frequenting places because people begin to notice me. The occasional "How is your day?" starts to feel more antagonizing because people start to expect more once they're acquainted to your face.

Social skills can tie into things like depression and anxiety. Then too, some people may not even have depression or anxiety and still fall short in social skills. I probably know how you must feel after all of this, Michael88.

I think it's my social skills that really have messed me up. As I've gotten older, I've realized how people tend to take interest in me, even as a child, people always talked to me. I fear that, now.

One thing that I find funny is that I move along as if people don't notice me, so when people do notice something about me, I'm honestly surprised, even if it's just little things. For example, one time a friend mentioned how he saw me years ago - I was walking in the city alone while he was in a car with family members. He told me that it left a lasting impression; I told him that it's just how I like to do things.

My OCD makes it hard to communicate, as well as issues with the past, which have really affected me. It makes me come across as cold and off-putting.

I really need therapy, maybe medication to make me less hard headed when it comes to take advice from that therapist.

Today while walking down a street in the city I was approached by a nice looking young lady who worked for a charity project, her job was simply to talk to people, to cheer them up and help them with their problems through talking and being nice. No asking for alms, no selling stuff, just help.

Yeah...... this reminds me of a lot of instances... Just recently, there were Girl Scouts selling those diabetes cookies. I decided to buy a box just for nostalgia's sake. I walk up and the girls are pumped full of energy, saying hi to me, and the whole time I was talking to the adult, asking the adult there how much the cookies were and I ignored the little girls. I look back at it and I was so monotone and void of any life or excitement... I said thank you to the little girls, but I just felt awful about the whole thing.

That kind of stuff eats away at me; it's like I forgot how to show emotion.

 

[kikie]

How does one get rid of a phobia?

 

[W3H5]

How does one get rid of a phobia?

Sometimes it isn’t possible. Other times it just comes down to rationalising the thoughts.

I’m **** scared of scorpions. Spiders, snakes, big creepy bugs... I’m fine. Wild doggies and the like... meh. Scorpions... holy mother of existence, why do they exist?

What’s your phobia? There are ways to address these issues if they’re causing you daily problems. If it’s xenophobia, I suggest moving to a small island off the coast of the Philippines. Lol

 

[MedigoFlame]

I think this has to do with depression/anxiety, but I can't quite put my finger on it if it really is. But do you guys ever feel like you remember things "too" well? Especially if it's a bad experience and that's all you can ever think about. Sometimes I wish I could be "normal" like everyone else and push things into the back of my mind and forget about it the next day, but I just can't.

For example, I had a really bad experience with one FedEx delivery driver who was screaming at me and throwing his hands in the air after I supposedly took his "spot" at the gas pump. Even though he was sitting at an out of order pump with his hazards on, and when I pulled in, no one was at the gas pump in front of him. Anyways, ever since then all I can think about when I see a FedEx truck is that one very specific driver.... Worst part is, I do actually see him every week, delivering parts to the parts department at my dealership workplace. I'm sure he forgot who I was, but every time I see him, I just think of that one incident.

That's only an example, but it's gotten to the point where I feel paranoid and any bad experience I have with someone, I always find myself remembering it. Whilst they just forget and move on.... It happens all too often for me as I do a lot of driving and deal with so many 🤬 drivers that I deal with on the road, I start to feel paranoid.

Another example I can think of is when my supervisor at my first job yelled at me for not answering the phone (at a pizza restaurant and I have really bad anxiety when it comes to talking to people over the phone), but then the next day he was trying to strike up a conversation with me about video games, like yesterday wasn't a thing.

I've spoken to my therapist about it and she brought up that it may be due to my bad childhood experiences.

 

[kikie]

Sometimes it isn’t possible. Other times it just comes down to rationalising the thoughts.

I’m **** scared of scorpions. Spiders, snakes, big creepy bugs... I’m fine. Wild doggies and the like... meh. Scorpions... holy mother of existence, why do they exist?

What’s your phobia? There are ways to address these issues if they’re causing you daily problems. If it’s xenophobia, I suggest moving to a small island off the coast of the Philippines. Lol

It all started with my last depression in September 2016. I started taking benzos such as Lorazepam (self-medicated) Xanax and Lysanxia (prescribed). Because I belong to the 1% of the people who react paradoxically to benzos (creates depressions and extreme anxiety in my case and because I was always nervous before when I went on vacation (leaving was the hard part, once I was on my way, all stress disappeared) and the fact that I'm afraid to leave my father home alone, I must have created a "leaving on vacation" phobia. It has been 5 years since my last vacation. I lost money the previous years when I booked a vacation and never went.

When I think about going on vacation I get this irrational fear of leaving and I freeze, block or whatever you call it in English. Sometimes when I feel relaxed, there is no fear and I could leave if I was able to leave at that particular moment. But sometimes the wrong brain cells fire up and I have this irrational fear/anxiety. At this moment, I have no anxiety whatsoever, only stress and I'm definitely able to leave. But this can change within half an hour and the anxiety starts all over again. probably typically for a phobia but I'm only anxious when I start thinking about leaving on vacation and what I have to do to make it easy on my father when he is home alone and all the other stuff I have to take care of when going on vacation.

I'm 100% that when I start driving (leave on vacation) all fear and anxiety goes (?)* away instantly.


* Is "goes" correct in this sentence or is it "go"?

 

[W3H5]

Yes, “goes” is the correct term.

I’ll throw a life line out there, if you can jump on a plane and get your ass over to Thailand I’ll put you up for a week or two and you’ll be able to see a wider perspective.

We’re about the same age, I gather, probably equally as mad (that might be incorrect) but I honestly feel that getting out of your current environment, with your father if needs be, might help you a great deal.

If you’re really suffering, come chill in the tropics. I have a spare room, you can rent a car and enjoy beauty of this place.

Hell, seeing my life might make you realise how lucky you are lol.

 

[kikie]

Yes, “goes” is the correct term.

I’ll throw a life line out there, if you can jump on a plane and get your ass over to Thailand I’ll put you up for a week or two and you’ll be able to see a wider perspective.

We’re about the same age, I gather, probably equally as mad (that might be incorrect) but I honestly feel that getting out of your current environment, with your father if needs be, might help you a great deal.

If you’re really suffering, come chill in the tropics. I have a spare room, you can rent a car and enjoy beauty of this place.

Yep, it is incorrect because I'm much, much more "madder". If I lose control over myself, please go away as quickly as possible.

Thank you, thank you for the suggestion and you are absolutely correct; getting out of my current environment and knowing that everything is alright with my father and he is taken care of, will definitely help me a great deal. But it has to be for a pretty long time because the "bad" wiring of my brain cells won't change for the better in a short while.

This afternoon I have been listening to this music constantly and for some reason it helps. I am pretty sure it is not a placebo effect.




Half an hour ago I took my blood pressure because I have been under a lot of stress/anxiety since Friday evening. I got 134 over 84 which is very high for me. I normally have between 110/65 - 120/75.

Hell, seeing my life might make you realise how lucky you are lol.

Probably yes.



10:42 pm and I took my blood pressure again: 155/91
The effects of the last few days is even worse than I thought. I was really in a very bad place.

 

[Casey]

I noticed that the thread title added "Anxiety". I've been struggling with Social Anxiety nearly all my life, I keep telling my self to go see a doctor about it but I can never make myself go. :/

 

[kikie]

20' relaxation and I'm back to 108/66. No joke, honest truth.

I noticed that the thread title added "Anxiety". I've been struggling with Social Anxiety nearly all my life, I keep telling my self to go see a doctor about it but I can never make myself go. :/

It is probably a good thing that you see a doctor. I understand that it is difficult for you.

I have said it before in this thread. Look at youtube clips of Dr. Joe Dispenza and Gregg Braden. Their theories/exercises, meditation techniques have been acknowledged by my psychiatrist as being proven by science.

 

[phillgt2002]

I've spoken to my therapist about it and she brought up that it may be due to my bad childhood experiences.

It seems like you have CPTSD. It’s caused by an enlarged amygdala and a shrunken hippocampus, which is why you remember those moments vividly and get anxiety when anything like those moments causes anxiety.

I got stuck in a loony bin for a couple weeks and had to learn about these things - I have severe CPTSD. I remember a lot of bad things that have happened to me and it makes me feel terrible.

Seriously, ask your therapist to go into it, if you haven’t already.

 

[HenrySwanson]

I think this has to do with depression/anxiety, but I can't quite put my finger on it if it really is. But do you guys ever feel like you remember things "too" well? Especially if it's a bad experience and that's all you can ever think about. Sometimes I wish I could be "normal" like everyone else and push things into the back of my mind and forget about it the next day, but I just can't.

For example, I had a really bad experience with one FedEx delivery driver who was screaming at me and throwing his hands in the air after I supposedly took his "spot" at the gas pump. Even though he was sitting at an out of order pump with his hazards on, and when I pulled in, no one was at the gas pump in front of him. Anyways, ever since then all I can think about when I see a FedEx truck is that one very specific driver.... Worst part is, I do actually see him every week, delivering parts to the parts department at my dealership workplace. I'm sure he forgot who I was, but every time I see him, I just think of that one incident.

That's only an example, but it's gotten to the point where I feel paranoid and any bad experience I have with someone, I always find myself remembering it. Whilst they just forget and move on.... It happens all too often for me as I do a lot of driving and deal with so many 🤬 drivers that I deal with on the road, I start to feel paranoid.

Another example I can think of is when my supervisor at my first job yelled at me for not answering the phone (at a pizza restaurant and I have really bad anxiety when it comes to talking to people over the phone), but then the next day he was trying to strike up a conversation with me about video games, like yesterday wasn't a thing.

I've spoken to my therapist about it and she brought up that it may be due to my bad childhood experiences.

How are you with interacting with people generally?

 

[SPhilli911]

Looking for some feedback/ advice on a friend of mine who suffers from anxiety and depression who lives on the other side of the planet from me. I’ve known her for nearly a decade, we don’t see one another more than a few times a year, but we talk regularly when we can.

She is in an especially difficult place in her life at the moment, as her parents are getting a divorce and she came out as gay recently and is scared to death to tell her family. I’ve not heard from her for a while now, not a peep since her father announced the divorce.

I don’t want to push her to talk, she will when she is ready and she knows I am here, but I don’t want her to feel like she is alone right now. She’s told me that sometimes she doesn’t want to talk to me (or anyone for that matter, I don’t take that personally), but she has also told me I’ve not been there for her at times, even though I am just giving her the space she wanted. I worry about her, the long silences are tough. I can’t shake the feeling that I am letting her down in the times she needs a friend the most.

What’s the best approach to this? I realize things are more complicated and there is no definitive answer, but I welcome any comments.

 

[W3H5]

Seems ceiling lights don't hold the weight of an adult.

 

[MatskiMonk]

Seems ceiling lights don't hold the weight of an adult.

Probably a good job.

 

[W3H5]

Probably a good job.

But now I have to pay for repairs.

 

[Dotini]

How does one get rid of a phobia?

By turning it into a philia?

 

[HenrySwanson]

Seems ceiling lights don't hold the weight of an adult.

It's a sign?







(Of poorly installed ceiling lights)

I sincerely hope you realise that that is not a good way to test a ceiling light installation and you find a reason to keep plodding through.

Looking for some feedback/ advice on a friend of mine who suffers from anxiety and depression who lives on the other side of the planet from me. I’ve known her for nearly a decade, we don’t see one another more than a few times a year, but we talk regularly when we can.

She is in an especially difficult place in her life at the moment, as her parents are getting a divorce and she came out as gay recently and is scared to death to tell her family. I’ve not heard from her for a while now, not a peep since her father announced the divorce.

I don’t want to push her to talk, she will when she is ready and she knows I am here, but I don’t want her to feel like she is alone right now. She’s told me that sometimes she doesn’t want to talk to me (or anyone for that matter, I don’t take that personally), but she has also told me I’ve not been there for her at times, even though I am just giving her the space she wanted. I worry about her, the long silences are tough. I can’t shake the feeling that I am letting her down in the times she needs a friend the most.

What’s the best approach to this? I realize things are more complicated and there is no definitive answer, but I welcome any comments.

Simplest answer is to arrange a time to talk. Sometimes when you are really low it's good to have some structure and have something in the diary to look forward to waking up to, even if it's just a chat.

 

[the_greeze]

So, I'm off work with ‘work-related stress causing anxiety and low mood' (to quote the doctor's note). This is the second time I've been off with these symptoms. Last time was a different position/company. I currently manage a small team of four and have been off work since the beginning of the month. It was a good job up until recently but we (I) have come under extreme scrutiny for some reason lately.

There are constant demands to do more, with less. The workload is piling up, as are the additional responsibilities. The entire team is doing their best but it seems this is not enough.

There are numerous reasons why I feel like I do; I feel like I'm not coping with the workload or demands from my line manager. There is a bad email culture from upper management that consists of emails being sent out-of-hours and very late into the evening/early hours. I have a company phone that picks these up and have had to make a conscious decision not to look at the phone in the evenings and weekends. If I do, the negativity in the emails ruin my mood.

Some of these emails are predominately seeking to blame and criticise. There is also an obvious ulterior motive of ‘ass covering’ in some of these mails too, which I find disturbing.

There's also a high degree of micro-management and I don't feel trusted to complete my duties. I'm not being fully informed of managements intentions concerning my team.

I should probably point out that no one from management has ‘called me out’ on my performance which makes all this scrutiny doubly odd.

Basically, my thought process is that I’m not cut out for this and I’m letting my family down again. I feel awful about that but I cannot carry on as I am as it’s literally making me ill. I guess this is just not for me. So, I am most likely not going to return to work there which leaves me (again) jobless and looking for a new role. This is easier said than done ‘cos the job market in my field is on its ass.

I have a meeting with HR soon so we'll see how that goes...

I had a meeting a week or so ago with HR and obviously the choice was always going to be solely down to me whether or not to return. I have decided to go back. It's not been an easy decision and I am still not sure it's the right thing to do. I go back tomorrow and frankly, I'm terrified. Haven't been able to concentrate on anything at all today...

 

[JohnBM01]

If you know someone dealing with depression and/or anxiety, the thing you fear most is when you don't hear back from someone or someone tends to be TOO private about his/her own issues. You want to do all you can to help out someone in need or even in crisis. Communication and understanding are important in times like these. If that person can help himself/herself with his/her issues, more power to him/her; but it helps to have an extra set of eyes and some extra guidance. Better safe than sorry.


Don't let depression and/or anxiety win.

 

[the_greeze]

Couldn't do it. After a totally sleepless night I cannot bring myself to go back. Feel like a complete failure...

 

[Touring Mars]

Couldn't do it. After a totally sleepless night I cannot bring myself to go back. Feel like a complete failure...

Sorry to hear that... but give yourself the credit you deserve - even considering going back was a big thing to do. If you can't bring yourself to go back, then at least that is telling you something - you can't force yourself to feel differently, and you are certainly not a failure.

 

[Casey]

Well I thought I was finally going to be getting my life a little together after getting a job as a pizza delivery driver but that all went away last night after my radiator decided to blow. It's gonna be a quite a while before I can get a new one so I was forced to quit after only working three days.

I'm right back at the bottom again. :/