Donkey Of The Month Awards

[Famine]

September nomination: An indeterminate Russian defender (whose identity I will attempt to uncover) who, during the England game, went for a speculative, clearing, diving header, missed the ball completely and instead managed to head the pitch.

Well done, sir.


I'd vote for Rob Styles for his "penalty" award, or Dave Kitson for his 37s game... but the August honour just has to go to 2-game howleree Tony Warner.

 

[Smallhorses]

September nomination: An indeterminate Russian defender (whose identity I will attempt to uncover) who, during the England game, went for a speculative, clearing, diving header, missed the ball completely and instead managed to head the pitch.

Well done, sir.

Good luck figuring that out, especially if it was one of their identical-twin defenders!!!

An interesting September nomination from me, and a first for this thread, a female nominee!

Vanina Correa of Argentina, whose goalkeeping errors in the 11 - 0 defeat by Germany, made both Tony Warner and Jens Lehmann look like consumate professionals!!!

Full highlights are here.

 

[daan]

Big Phil Scolari?

 

[Appie]

Wow, never seen a Coach punching a player before, is that even allowed?

 

[Aremburgkerve]

Woo, i see 3 Fulham players in as nominees!!! Can we have extra points for that please.....!!?? Anyway, i would have voted for a certain Clinton Dempsey, but after 2 cracking goals in 2 games, i must vote instead for Florent Malouda, who i am going to award a 9.4 for a series of amazing dives!

 

[RouWa]

Full highlights are here.

Link does not work for people ouside the UK.

 

[Smallhorses]

Link does not work for people ouside the UK.

Ooops. Didn't spot that, since I'm on holiday in UK at the moment! Sorry.

 

[Race Idiot]

Big Phil Scolari?

I would pay to see a Dragutinovic Scolari rematch because that was pretty lol.

 

[Smallhorses]

One from outside of English football, but certainly worth a shout of Donkeydom!

The worst match-fixing attempt ever has earned Cameroon side Bamboutos a double relegation after their captain Koss Roger gave an envelope containing cash to Federal skipper Nkouma Rim on the pitch
(!) - minutes later Rim let Roger score in his side's 3-2 win.

 

[Touring Mars]

Updated Post #1... Vanina Correa of Argentina had to get something for conceding so many goals in a World Cup match

 

[Only_in_f1]

Dida has to be up for the award.




He went of with an ice pack on his face, but to me, it looks like the fan only tapped him on the shoulder blade..

 

[Alex.]

Dida has already won.

 

[Famine]

Dida has already won.

No argument here.

 

[Omnis]

LOL!!!!!!! That's the funniest thing I've ever seen!

 

[Smallhorses]

Wow! He deserves his own special category for that! "Softy Of The Month" He even manages to roll over twice like he's been felled at full-pelt!
That collapse even puts some of Mal-Odour's best efforts to shame, although to be fair there was at least brief contact for Dida, whereas Mal-Odour just collapses where he sees fit!
Must've been a fast acting neurotoxin that the Celtic fan poked him in the shoulder with!

 

[DQuaN]

It was obviously the five point palm exploding heart technique!

 

[Touring Mars]

Donkey or no donkey, Dida has no place in my team 👎

My views are expressed here

(rant alert)

 

[RouWa]

Why did he do that? Does he think it will bring Milan three points at the green table?

 

[Sureboss]

No, they normally just pay a ref for 3 points.

 

[Touring Mars]

Why did he do that? Does he think it will bring Milan three points at the green table?

Good question... either way Dida is being investigated by UEFA

 

[Smallhorses]

Hehehe! Dida has been awarded a 2 match ban from Champions League for his acting skills!

GOAL England 3-0 Estonia
That is one of the best own goals you'll see. Ashley Cole delivers the cross and Taavi Rahn heads in from OUTSIDE THE BOX! Gave poor old Mart Poom no chance.

Speaks for itself really. Taavi Rahn of Estonia's national team gets October's next nomination.

 

[Smallhorses]

I guess no-one else is interested in this contest anymore.

Another spectacular own goal finish, gets Sammi Hyypia of Liverpool a nomination for his unspectacular contribution to the Merseyside derby!

I have to put in Phil Neville of Everton too, for his outstanding "save" from Lucas Leiva's shot, although even though it's an act of heroic donkeydom, it's worth considering that we're now desperate for a replacement England keeper in place of Paul "Couldn't Catch a Cold" Robinson and Phil Neville on this form would make a worthy replacement!
However, he becomes the first player ever to be sent off in 2 Merseyside Derbies!

*edit* Determined not to be outdone by Phil Neville, Sammi Hyypia of Liverpool reinforces his nomination for this month's award by scoring a 2nd own goal in as many games, against Besiktas in the Champions League.

*edit* actually having seen the Besiktas goal, that's a very harsh own-goal award, so I'll rescind the reinforcement nomination and put him on equal standing with Phil "Not quite as gormless as my Brother" Neville.

 

[Smallhorses]

Feck me readers! No-one else playing? This is a triple post now....
Shall I just nominate a donkey team by myself?

Anyway, apart from that little moan, here's an interesting first nomination for November's award.

Milan Baros (Lyon) breaks French Speeding record!!!!

OK, so it's not to do with on-pitch donkeydom, but still pretty silly!

Being as you're jetlagged from the flight from Cali & SFGTP2! Phil Neville for October FTW!

 

[Smallhorses]

OK, here's another nomination for a previous (March 2007) Donkey.

Steve McClaren of England once again.
In preparation for the absolutely no-questions-asked, must win game against Croatia on November 21st, does Mr McClaren:

a) Stay in London, to watch arguably the biggest fixture of the Premier League so far this year, Arsenal vs. Manchester United, featuring England players like Wayne Rooney, Wes Brown, Rio Ferdinand, Michael Carrick, Theo Walcott & Owen Hargreaves. Also checking on the fitness of Gary Neville.

b) Take a 12000 mile roundtrip to watch David Beckham, recovering from injury, take part in a Charity match against a Hollywood XI!
(And perhaps interview for the vacant LA Galaxy managerial position, ready for when he's sacked after the Croatia game? )

P.S. Someone else post in here please! It looks like I've quadruple posted!

 

[Touring Mars]

Phil Neville has been awarded October's DOTM award, despite Dida's antics... Dida wasn't really a 'donkey' in the proper sense - he was more like an ass. And besides, I can't renege on my vow to not have that cheating SOB in the team, so Phil... congrats, you've become an official Donkey, just like your brother!

 

[Smallhorses]

Being as the 2006 team had their own Donkey-kitman, (See post 54 & post 112) the Blackburn kitman throughly deserves his nomination for the 2007-2008 team for David "Betnley"'s (Or should that be BENTLEY?) shirt at the Old Trafford fixture this weekend!

 

[Omnis]

LOL @ Betnley.

 

[Smallhorses]

First nomination for December:

Titus Bramble of Wigan for his missed clearance effort which allowed Manchester City to score yesterday! Saw the highlights at an English pub last night! An absolute dead-cert Donkey!

Found a YouTube of it. Even sounds like the crowd is chanting Eeyore Eeyore towards the end of the clip!

​

*EDIT* First video stopped working, this is a new one, goes on a bit longer.

 

[Smallhorses]

Well since November wasn't exactly a hotbed of Donkeydom on the pitch, the players of the Premier League seem to have cast some sort of vote in favour of creating more nominations for December! 2 days in and already 2 nominations!

​

Step forward Nicolas Anelka of Bolton.
If I'm ever sentenced to death by shooting, I want Anelka as the gunman!

 

[Famine]

Step forward Nicolas Anelka of Bolton.
If I'm ever sentenced to death by shooting, I want Anelka as the gunman!

Striker gaffe of ever. Win.