Donkey Of The Month Awards

[MagpieRacer]

I should nominate Notts County for losing to Havant & Waterlooville, but I would only be doing that because I dont even know what league Havant and Waterlooville are in!

edit: They are in the blue square south and are 11th.

Id like to nominate Notts County of the football league 2 for losing to a team 3 divisions below them.

 

[Smallhorses]

Got to love an ironic post every now and then!
Spot the mistake from the BBC website!

Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez says Capello needs to improve his English if it is needed to suceed. (Guardian)

I'd also like to nominate Muhammed (Momo) Sissoko of Liverpool for December's award for his less than memorable performance vs. Chelski in the Carling Cup. The only way to distinguish him from Salomon Kalou was that he was wearing a red shirt, but all his passes went, like Salomon's to a player in blue! Capped his miserable display with a David Nugent-esque move on the edge of the area. Perfectly placed to shoot, or lay the ball into the path of the equally well placed Peter Crouch, he opted simply to fall over the ball instead.

 

[Smallhorses]

Given that it's the Xmas period and all, another nomination, in a kind of dual pantomime donkey kind of way, for Sol Campbell and Sylvain Distin of Portsmouth for their combined effort in scoring Liverpool's second goal yesterday. You can't have a pantomime donkey without 2 people, one to be the head, and another to be, well, the ass of the ass!

 

[Smallhorses]

Midfielder Stewart Downing has demanded an end to his Middlesbrough contract after being upset by booing fans at the Riverside.

And as if to illustrate his point, he really gives the Middlesborough fans something to boo him for, scoring the opening goal for Birmingham in the Middlesborough vs. Birmingham fixture on Boxing Day!
Take a bow, Stewart Downing, you're the next December nomination in a hotly contested month!

 

[Smallhorses]

Ok, seeing as Titus Bramble of Wigan is unlikely to clinch December's award, after Anelka's shocking miss, and Downing's attempts to endear himself to the booing 'Boro fans, he's desperately trying to ensure he makes this years Donkey team by putting forth another performance worthy of nomination for January's award in the game against Everton.
This guy must get his boots on backwards for every game!

​

 

[Only_in_f1]

I should nominate Notts County for losing to Havant & Waterlooville, but I would only be doing that because I dont even know what league Havant and Waterlooville are in!

edit: They are in the blue square south and are 11th.

Id like to nominate Notts County of the football league 2 for losing to a team 3 divisions below them.

Swansea anyone?

 

[Touring Mars]

Anelka wins December and November's prize went (by default) to Blackburn Rovers' kitman (whoever he is!) since he was the only nomination...!! Keep those nominations coming!

 

[Dave A]

Arsene Wenger for "not seeing" his own players starting to fight with each other on the pitch.

 

[Smallhorses]

February nominations:

Martin Taylor of Birmingham for his horror tackle on Eduardo of Arsenal.

A couple of pictures, which I won't link to directly, since they warrant a content warning for those of a squeamish disposition.

http://bleh.ws/~sg/eduardo_1.jpg

http://i25.tinypic.com/dmb4as.jpg

There wasn't really any malicious intent, but he still did a pretty horrific job of missing the ball and catching the player instead!

Obscene Whinger of Arsenal for his initial outburst on the Eduardo incident, calling for the lifetime banning of Martin Taylor, and then retracting the statement only hours later!

 

[Smallhorses]

Another new month starts with a fantastic goalkeeping blunder!
We could've had an entire Donkey team made up of goalkeepers this year!

This nomination goes to Jussi Jaaskelainen of Bolton for his save-come-header which got so much backspin that Tiger Woods would've been proud of it! Unfortunately for Jussi, the header/backspin combination carried the ball, which was clearly heading past the goal to begin with, right into the empty net. 1-0 Liverpool!

​

Commentary is in a language that I can't understand, one of the Arabic dialects maybe? Sorry!

 

[Touring Mars]

I think he was quite unlucky there. However, Martin Taylor wins Feb's award studs-down (or was that studs-up?) for his horrendously clumsy challenge...

 

[Smallhorses]

I think he was quite unlucky there. However, Martin Taylor wins Feb's award studs-down (or was that studs-up?) for his horrendously clumsy challenge - he is the second Portsmouth player already to win this year, and as John Motson would say "It could have been three or four!" (see Dec nominations )

Except that he really plays for Birmingham City! D'oh!

 

[Touring Mars]

 

[Smallhorses]

Oh well, after a staggeringly inactive March, which I guess Jussi Jaaskelainen wins by default, here's a nomination for donkeydom of a different kind. Not a on-pitch effort, but still a gargantuan display of ineptitude!
He's even got a "facepalm" picture to go with it!

"Gary Neville is the club captain but has been injured for the best part of a year now - and Giggsy's taken on the mantlepiece."
- Rio Ferdinand is clearly having a hearth while describing the Man Utd captaincy.

 

[DQuaN]

Bendtner deserves a mention for his brilliant goal line block against Liverpool in the Champions League... Against his own team.

 

[Rue]

He looks just like me and also apparantly possesses all the football skills I do - Andriy Voronin's epically pathetic performance after coming on as a sub at the weekend for Liverpool against Arsenal. His slip, air-shot and fall in the penalty area (all in one move) was a particularly cretinous way to cap a mega-bungling performance. Andriy Voronin, you are my Donkey of the Month. Prat!

Andriy Voronin - Why didn't you pick him for the UCL match against Arsenal, Rafa?!

Eboue in 2nd and 3rd places all the way to 100th respectively...

 

[Smallhorses]

I'll second that Andriy Voronin nomination, and add that you know it must be bad when you're listening to the live commentary on the club's own website, which is done by Steve Hunter and usually accompanied by an ex-Liverpool player or manager, and in this case it was Howard Gayle from the 1980s.
Howie's comments on Voronin's appearance as he ran on as a sub in the weekend's Blackburn game were: "He's piled on the pounds a bit hasn't he? He's starting to look more like Jimmy Five-Bellies than a Premier League player!"

I also should add a nomination for Roy Carroll of Derby County, (Yet another goalkeeping nomination!) after his efforts in the 6-0 drubbing by Aston Villa.

Derby keeper Roy Carroll had a torrid first-half, failing to clear Ashley Young's free-kick for Villa's first.

John Carew drilled in seconds later before Stiliyan Petrov expertly lashed Carroll's hideously skewed clearance into the top corner from 45 yards.

Quite how Derby have wound up with a goal difference of -58 and don't yet have a player on the Donkey Team is mindblowing!

 

[Rue]

DotM award for Mr. Riise's fantastic UCL semi-final headed equaliser!

And you thought this photo was embarassing... did you just see that own-goal?!

 

[Only_in_f1]

First rule of football, use your feet? Ok it was on his right foot but still he has used his right before.

 

[Smallhorses]

DotM award for Mr. Riise's fantastic UCL semi-final headed equaliser!

Yes, much as I like Riise as a player, and all the good things he's done in the past for Liverpool, scoring a needless, and probably crucial away goal in the dying seconds of a game for the opposition warrants a position in this seasons Donkey team.

Unless of course he can win an instant GDORA by repeating something like this in the game at Stamford Bridge: (Fingers crossed. 👍)

​

 

[Touring Mars]

I reckon Riise could be in line for an inaugural, DOTY award for that... and although I am not a Liverpool supporter myself, my mate who I go for a pint with on a Friday night is... and he's going to be moaning about that OG forever

 

[Dave A]

Nani for not only getting himself sent off at such a vital stage of the season but for feigning injury so blatantly in the process and being an all round embarrassment to his club today.

 

[Smallhorses]

That's a very good shout Dave A, and I'll second that nomination! 👍

Nani not only headbutted Lucas Neill, but followed it up by doing his own "dying swan" impersonation to try and avoid punishment.
Hope he gets a 4 or 5 match ban instead of the usual 3 for blatant gamesmanship and has to sit out the first few games of next years Premiership season. 👎
It'll serve him right if he has to miss the Champions League final too, but I doubt that'll happen.

 

[Smallhorses]

2008 - 2009 Season underway.
Thread resurrection necessary? Calculating.....








Hell yeah!


Could do with getting the rest of last seasons results up too!

Not going to nominate Robbie Keane just yet, but hope someone has a quiet word with him to explain that when a team pays 20 million quid for a striker, he's supposed to stick the ball in the net. 💡
Not make goal-line clearances for the opposition!

 

[Alex.]

yeah that really annoyed me, luckily Fernando stuck one in from 25 yards a few minutes after and all was well.

 

[Omnis]

Not that it's really donkey worthy, but Gio dos Santos and Alvarez also had a few golden opportunities during Tot's game.

 

[Smallhorses]

Well it seems that interest in a DOTM contest for 2008/2009 just isn't forthcoming, however, we're going to need a team of officials for the head-to-head, own-goal-scoring, crippling-challenge-fest, goalkeeping-blunder-arama between the 2005/2006 team and the 2006/2007 team with the depleted 2007/2008 team comprising the sub's bench. 💡

So how about these folks?:

Linesman Nigel Bannister & Referee Stuart Atwell

It seems that deflecting the ball out for a corner is now registered as an own-goal.
This could even get the Americans interested in soccer, finally, as we'll see scorelines of 33-28 and such like!

 

[Famine]

That was absolutely the best decision of all time. Nothing else compares, not even giving three yellow cards to the same player in the World Cup finals.

 

[Dave A]

Mark Hughes for throwing away a comfortable win over Liverpool by making absolutely terrible changes and allowing his team to implode in the second half.

 

[Smallhorses]

Anyone want to say Ashley Cole with me?
Quite the worst, directionless & destinationless pass ever seen in an international football game to hand Kazakhstan an unlikely lifeline!
(Thankfully the rest of the England team seemed to be on their game today in the second-half and made it a comfortable victory in the end.)