Donkey Of The Month Awards

[Touring Mars]

I think Jerzy Dudek of Liverpool deserves a nomination after his dreadful performance(s) against Arsenal this week, even if he did save a penalty.... saving a penalty is all well and good, but the other six out-field goals he conceded kind of pisses on his parade a tad.

 

[Smallhorses]

Yeah, not really a good way to impress the manager who is out looking for goalkeeping cover, after loaning out his other 2 keepers to Charlton and Wigan.
"Ok, lets give Jerzy a chance, he's been itching to get off the bench for a while now."
*9 goals in 2 games conceded later*
"Have you got Sampdoria's number?, I hear they have a keeper up for grabs!"

So who gets December's award?

 

[Touring Mars]

Yeah, not really a good way to impress the manager who is out looking for goalkeeping cover, after loaning out his other 2 keepers to Charlton and Wigan.
"Ok, lets give Jerzy a chance, he's been itching to get off the bench for a while now."
*9 goals in 2 games conceded later*
"Have you got Sampdoria's number, I hear they have a keeper up for grabs!"

So who gets December's award?

He he... an itchy Jerzy?

December goes to Lee McCulloch - not least for his former life as a Motherwell player (you don't want to know what they're known as in Glasgow... it starts with 'Mother...')

 

[Famine]

I'd like to nominate for January's Donkey of the Month...

The USA.

Not just because they're paying more money for a footballer than ever before and paying him more than any sportsman ever (I suspect that bit's not true, given how much Schumacher and Tiger earn/ed), despite the player being past his prime.

Not even because every club has seen an upsurge in ticket and season ticket sales for the 2007 season, despite the player not arriving until at least August.

But because they've seen it all before but still go ahead with it anyway.

 

[Sureboss]

Actually it is certainly more than Schumi, his Ferrari contract was around £20 Million a year. As for Tiger I don't know. Silly money anyway.

 

[Dave A]

I doubt it's more than Schuey, his Ferrari contract alone was around £20 a year, anything else he did commercially went ontop of that, he would have to do much ontop of just race for Ferrari to top the £26-£27 million a year Beckham is going to be earning for the next 5 years which includes shirt sales, image rights and so on.

 

[Dave A]

Claude Davis definitely deserves a nomination after his defensive blunder earlier today.

 

[Smallhorses]

I'd like to nominate El Hadji Diouf of Bolton, for todays performance at Middlesbrough.

At 4-1 down, on the losing side, the best way to help your team-mates is ?:-

a) Dig deep and battle hard to salvage some pride with a consolation goal. 👍
b) Work really really hard and score 3 goals to equalise. 💡
c) Give the referee a torrent of abuse resulting in a straight red card and get an early bath.

With his track record as an abusive, clumsy, Anfield-reject with a habit of spitting at players and crowds alike, it's a wonder he's never been nominated before!

 

[Dave A]

Keith Gillespie's sending off was better.

Keith comes on the pitch, Keith goes off the pitch.

 

[Smallhorses]

Sorry for yet another Chelski nomination, but I've just been able to watch the Liverpool v. Chelsea highlights from Saturday, and Michael Ballack just has to get a nomination for being nutmegged by Drogba taking a free-kick to him!

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[Touring Mars]

Great clip - Ballack is high in the running already, even before that incident!

 

[DQuaN]

How about Van Persie for scoring a great goal against Man U, only to break his foot in the celebration and put himself out for two months!

 

[Smallhorses]

Haven't seen any February games yet, as I've been away, but surely there's got to be some nominations already?

That said, who gets the prestigious honour of becoming the first Eeyore of 2007?

 

[Touring Mars]

It has to be Ballack, despite some worthy opposition... The USA came close, as did Dudek, but Ballack's general lack of prowess and dignity both on and off the field sealed the deal... didn't realise Chelsea had not won so far this season, so atleast Ballack has done something for them for all that money...

 

[Race Idiot]

 

[Smallhorses]

Wow! 6 months in and 6 different Donkeys from 6 different teams! It's nice to see that Donkeydom is prevalent far & wide in the realm of Premier League Football!

 

[Smallhorses]

Nearly at the end of February, and no nominations!

 

[Smallhorses]

Nothing for February, Nothing for March? Did everyone just start playing really well, or something?!!!!

Here's kind of an unorthodox nomination, which I read about today in the March edition of the "Union Jack" America's only British newspaper which I pick up free whenever I go for a pint at an English pub about 20 miles from where I live.....it reports all the best and stupidest stories from the British press over the previous month.

Anyway, this is technically a February nomination as that's when the event occured, but it was reported in March, so you decide.....

Half-Expired Season Ticket Late For Birthday Present.

The best present a Manchester United fan could have been given for his birthday was a season ticket for his favourite team - and that's what he got.
Unfortunately his wife didn't give it to him until over halfway through the season.
The 550 GBP (*EDIT* Damned US keyboard with no pound sign!) season ticket was for the man's 40th birthday last month, (Feb 2007) so that's exactly when his wife presented him with his big surprise, along with a junior ticket for the couple's son.
The benevolent blunder meant the fan missed 11 home Premiership games.
A United supporter who sits near the man at Old Trafford said "A few of us noticed the seats were empty"
"His wife mustn't know much about football. He must be gutted!"

Oh well, poor dear, it's enough that she's married to a United fan.....
Oh, no. Wait a minute. Damn. So am I.

 

[Omnis]

What an idiot.

 

[Race Idiot]

 

[Gen.]

I nominate brett.

 

[Touring Mars]

Looks like Steve McClaren wins almost by default for March... although he is not entirely to blame, such is the nature of the England job that you almost deserve a nomination just for accepting the post!.... Will have to come up with something for February too, despite the nomination for the woman who didn't give her husband the season ticket! Has to be a player (or a manager), I feel...

 

[RouWa]

As a German I have to nominate Joachim Löw. Germany didn't have a qualifying game last wednesday and played a friendly against Denmark. Löw thought it was a good idea to test players who would normally not play for Germany. That is basically a good idea, but he changed the COMPLETE team. Some of the players from last wednesday have played before for Germany, but would not be in the squad if the Euro 2008 starts tomorrow. It was basically the German U21 team including six (!) newbies. You can say it was the team that would play for Germany if the "real" team dies in plane crash. Unfortunately Denmark only won 1:0 and Löw still thinks it was a good idea.

 

[Smallhorses]

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April nomination, well, take your pick! Edwin Van der Sar for steaming unnecessarily out of the goal in the first place, or Rio Ferdinand for getting the touch on what must be the softest 18 yard goal-strike ever!

 

[Famine]

Both of 'em. Rio shouldn't have played it back between the sticks - yet another England defender who doesn't grasp this basic concept (step forward Gary Neville).

But neither even bothered to chase it! I'd have at least run my butt off to make it look like I was trying.

 

[ExigeEvan]

Wow, that was even lamer than I'd been told.

 

[Dave A]

I have to agree with Famine on that one, they were both at fault, but I'd still place more fault on Van Der Sar for that goal. And I'd happily vote him over Rio for the other mistake he made when he let in another goal exactley the same as the one against Roma when he palmed the ball back out straight to an opposition player who tapped it in. Van Der Sar seems to be hitting a form low at the moment, time to give Kuszczak a run in goal imo.

 

[Smallhorses]

1st May nomination:- Jose "I can only see blue" Mourinho.

Masterminding Chelski to another Champions League exit by enraging an entire city, getting played off the park, failing to notice that although his "better" side actually only had one shot on goal in 2 hours of play, and being extremely lucky to make it as far as penalties anyway, he then still refuses to acknowledge that the better team was without a doubt the one that triumphed and not his collection of overpaid, undermotivated cry-babies who have been moulded by Mourinho to believe, as he does, that they should simply win everything because they're Chelski!
In fact, why not just ask the FA to change the rules Jose? The most expensively assembled team at the beginning of the season should be awarded the Premiership, FA Cup, Carling Cup and Champions League, without actually having to play a single game! How's that sound?

 

[Smallhorses]

With no world cup or Euro tournament this summer to bolster the Donkey Squad nominations, the out of season votes are going to be difficult to cast.
However, here's an unusual nomination for June! An update to post #1 if you would please Dr. Mars!

Chelsea have had to send the FA Cup back to the Football Association for a silversmith to repair it after a player - thought to be Jon Obi Mikel - dropped it while celebrating the Blues victory over Manchester United in May.

 

[Touring Mars]

He he, what a pillock! I guess he might not have much competition, sure enough. I updated Post #1 just a couple of days ago. I had to award 'Us' (i.e. GTPlanet) a Group award for a couple of months ago, since we never came up with a single nomination all month! Jose had to be 'honoured' aswell...