Donkey Of The Month Awards

[Dave A]

But Gary shouldn't have aimed for the goal.

It wasn't the most powerful backpass ever, it was just a fluke. How many times do you see players backpassing infront of goal, all the time. Though like TM said, he was probably trying to aim away from the goal but missed .

We were all saying that at work, at least he's got his first internation goal.

 

[Alex.]

I nominate the england squad

 

[Touring Mars]

Alan Pardew has done enough this month to earn himself a rare Managerial Donkey nomination...

8 straight defeats, including last night's humiliating defeat by Chesterfield - over 11 hours without a goal (ironically until last night only), 5 points from 9 league games, and dumped out of the Uefa Cup.... it's not looking good at all for Mr. Pardew. I live in East London and I can tell you, the locals ain't happy campers right now! Taxi for Mascherano?! Taxi for Pardew?!

 

[Famine]

Yes - there's two obvious nominations in my book.

Gary "son of Neville" Neville, for playing a backpass directly toward goal - a mistake no Sunday League player should make, let alone an England Captain and defending glitteratum.

Dave Allen (Chairman, Sheffield Wednesday) - not just for sacking the most successful Wednesday manager in a decade, the only Wednesday manager in the last 9 to bring back a trophy and the man responsible for the upturn in Wednesday's fortunes (and fortune - our operating profit was directly attributed to on-the-pitch performance), but for waiting just 6 weeks into the manager's new 4 year contract to do so.

 

[Dave A]

Sent old Dave at hate mail yet?

 

[Famine]

The spores haven't grown enough yet.

 

[<_Spike_>]

I'd certainly put in Pards as my nomination...didn't think Wet Spam would have such an awful start and he's played all his cards but one (Mark Noble), and he doesn't even rate the young midfielder very highly, Pardew does seem a bit stuffed.

 

[daan]

Dave Allen (Chairman, Sheffield Wednesday)

The Dave Allen, or is it another one?

 

[Famine]

No - it's Dave "not to be confused with the other Dave Allen" Allen.

 

[Race Idiot]

I heard Jermaine Defoe bites like a donkey.

 

[ExigeEvan]

I dound that funny not because he bit him, but because he crawled towards him first.

Like a Baby!

 

[Smallhorses]

Another managerial nomination:- Obscene Whinger, err, I meant Arsene Wenger of Arsenal, for his good natured and respectful reaction to being beaten by West Ham. NOT!

So who is October's Eeyore?

 

[Dave A]

I agree with that, Winger really showed himself up today. He's been learning off Jen's.

 

[Touring Mars]

So who is October's Eeyore?

Gary Neville takes the carrot, with Alan Pardew earning himself a pardon after his gracious apology to Arse 'n' Wenger, despite the fact that Wenger should have been the one apologising...

 

[oosacker]

Didier Drogba: he is a PRO diver.

 

[Touring Mars]

Didier Drogba: he is a PRO diver.

Hmmm, that he may be, but DOTM Award winners rarely score hat-tricks the day before a nomination...

 

[DQuaN]

Xabi Alonso.

When you are losing away at Arsenal, you wont get the ref on your side by heading the ball directly into his knackers!

 

[DQuaN]

Joseph Yobo of Everton.

It's normally a good idea to wait until the ball is away from your goal before stopping to tie your laces. The ball just might pass you right by without you noticing!

 

[Six String]

I quite liked Ronaldo's miss:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f21o10H3htY

 

[Race Idiot]

I find the Ronaldo one funnier just because he always looks like he's going to cry after he misses or gets tackled. But the yobo one is pretty funny when you see the ball fly right next to him while he's bending over busily doing up his laces.

Man it's a toughie.

 

[Touring Mars]

Yep, this one's going to be close!

 

[Smallhorses]

I'd have to have gone for Louis Saha personally, although he scored against Chelsea for Man U, he also managed to for Chelsea against Man U when Van der Sar had the initial shot covered. Couple this with the previous game against Celtic where he gave himself offside when clean through on goal and missed a penalty late on to level the scores, and we have a clear contender for Donkeydom!

 

[Touring Mars]

Despite very strong claims from Man Utd for a second consecutive Donkey (Saha being the most worthy), it has to go to Yobo for Everton, for taking his eye of the ball and choosing the worst possible moment to just stop playing

Nominations for December (The Xmas Donkey) await!

 

[Smallhorses]

First December nomination:- Lee McCulloch of "Wiggin".
Missed a clear cut opportunity to toe-poke the ball into an empty net and instead opted to clear the bar in a fashion more suited to Wigan's Rugby club, and then reinforced his grasp on Donkeydom by managing to stab Gerrard's cross into his own net through a gaggle of players and his own keeper when it would have been easier to miss the goal altogether!

Secondly:- Christiano Ronaldo of Man U
What more do you need? He's a barefaced, bucktoothed, chipmunk-esque cheat! I've seen less prolonged dives by submersible craft venturing to the depths of the Marianas Trench!

Actually, can we nominate a referee for the Donkey match? Yesterdays performances, or lack thereof, by Chris Foy for being repeatedly conned by Ronaldo, and Graham Poll (again) for 2 extremely dubious penalty decisions in Arsenholes favour, should surely merit Donkeyriffic investigation!

 

[Smallhorses]

Well, being as no-one else seems to be playing the Donkey game anymore, I'll add another nomination for December. Being as I only ever get to watch highlights of the Liverpool games, and nothing else, you'll notice a bias towards nominations from teams that have just played Liverpool!

Take your pick from this display of ineptitude from Charlton's defence!



My nomination has to go to Djimi "Kung Fu" Traore though. Sold in the summer by Liverpool for being a Donkey, he was so keen to reinforce to the Liverpool fans that this was in fact absolutely true, that in just the 2nd minute of the game he managed to launch a flying kick that Bruce Lee would have been proud of, inside the penalty area, catching Jermaine Pennant in the ear! Penalty Liverpool. What better way to showcase the reason why your former club got rid of you, than to give them a penalty just 2 minutes into your first game against them for your new team? The remaining defensive frailties he displays in the clip above just reinforce this nomination!

*edit* can't seem to persuade YOUTUBE tags to work. Click the linky instead.

 

[Famine]

First December nomination:- Lee McCulloch of "Wiggin".
Missed a clear cut opportunity to toe-poke the ball into an empty net and instead opted to clear the bar in a fashion more suited to Wigan's Rugby club, and then reinforced his grasp on Donkeydom by managing to stab Gerrard's cross into his own net through a gaggle of players and his own keeper when it would have been easier to miss the goal altogether!

... and then punching Chris Morgan in the face (vs. the other Sheffield team) and being banned for 3 games.

 

[daan]

... and then punching Chris Morgan in the face (vs. the other Sheffield team) and being banned for 3 games.

He got banned for that? Surely punching a member of the other Sheffield team is allowed within the rules?

(non) Interesting fact of the day - McCulloch used to play for Motherwell.

 

[Smallhorses]

Hmmm.
That does somewhat reinforce his donkey nomination!

Can I possibly nominate a managerial Donkey too?

Les Reed of Charlton.

Charlton boss Les Reed was smuggled out of The Valley via the DISWBLED exit after his team's defeat to Wycombe on Tuesday. (The Sun)

I know The Sun isn't a revered newpaper, coming in at similar quality news-wise to toilet paper, and things found in cereal boxes, but I couldn't resist the DISWBLED thing!

 

[Smallhorses]

So who's it to be then? The final donkey of 2006?

Some good performances of note for the first nominations of 2007, for January.

1. Anton Ferdinand of West Ham for scoring Reading's 3rd goal in the 6 - 0 drubbing at the Madjeski Stadium.

2. Emily Heskey of "Wiggin" for missing 2 gilt-edged opportunities to put Wigan into the lead in the Lancashire derby game with Blackburn, and then managing to put Blackburn into the lead!

 

[Smallhorses]

Any more acts of Donkeydom? Anyone?