You're right there mate.
While Forza 4 is forgiving, it tends to simulate proper off-throttle oversteer for some cars, and then for others (where it should), it doesn't. Part of this could be due to limited wheel rotation on controllers. I still wonder today what it would feel like playing FM4 on a souped up PC. You must have read
@TheCrazySwede's story on talking to one of the T10 officials - how they had to dumb down the physics slightly to get the locked 60 fps on the X360. We might have had more unforgiving suspension physics if it were a PC game. Oh well...they somewhat improved suspension physics in Horizon 1, but only slightly.
None of these sims, even PC sims, get it completely right. Making a game is easy. Making simulators of any kind, is TOUGH business. Putting that down on code for a console - compromises have to be made.
IMO, a lot of these games have come close to the real thing, Forza's among them. But not quite match up to real-world nuances of pushing a high-powered car over the edge.
Plus, driving on public roads is different; cars behave slightly differently on track from what I understand.
In any case, this is a good time to be a gamer/sim lover. FM6, GT7, Project Cars.... ah, the anticipation's killing me!
More difficult does not necessarily mean better physics. Though I've heard people say the opposite: PCARS and AC is very difficult to drive.