FRL ~ ToCA14 - Spurgy, Yera, ECM, Audi Champions!

  • Thread starter Furinkazen
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Litchi
Greetings from France! Just wanted to know if @Furinkazen the Veteran is all fine.
I'll be back for some races here and there as soon as I'll receive my GTOmega wheel stand mid February.

Cheers!!:gtpflag:
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All good, nice to know the old boys are still around ;)

Gedi69
Has anyone got any times yet?
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CrazyJohn
If I remember correctly I have done a 1:58.
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Reckon you mean 48.

Gedi69
Furi I will be racing the TT #69 as an independent under the "Lonely Toad Racing" banner 👍
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Noted. Will keep an eye out for the livery!
 
I will not be make it into qualifying so I can't race today. I will be visiting my aunt. Will probably be there next week though.
 
Furinkazen
No mikey panoz chris John someone else
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Panoz isn’t locked in, he wasn’t there last week, so that would be Mikey, Chris, John and Lewis. RPH, Lancer, Niop, Mole and Gedi should be here this week though, minus Audiman and Damon and I think we end up with 13?

EDIT: Espial said they would be there too, so 14.
 
Looking forward to racing again 👍

Have I read it right that you only get1 Q lap?
 
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So Race 1 turned out perfectly after I started last. Great battle with @Gedi69. (P5)

Race 2 had probably the 5 most intense laps I have ever raced. The first 5 laps had tons and tons and tons of fights and I loved it. (P7)

Race 3 was by far the worst one. Had several incidents on the first lap including the bus stop crash which dropped me dead last. Was as bad as doing 11 laps in time trial, I was just trying to catch up to @Espial but no hope. (P11)
 
The official TOCA dictionary for n00bs - The Why-Do-I-Even-Bother-To-Still-Do-This 14OCA version!!! (Mostly--- *cough* Entirely By Carbonox)

For visually challenged or otherwise just plain stupid people, new additions by Pingu are in bold.

Remember, kids. All of you have the right not to be offended. You also have the right to sue me for pretty much any reason and you'll probably win, but try to forget that part, it's not important. :sly:

In hindsight, some of the updates are kinda mean. Some of them I'm still proud of (ILOSE, F1-King-GT etc.), others not, but they remain unchanged for the most part for the sole reason that nobody has complained about them yet.

1066 Racing: The biggest joke of a team in TOCA history. Dj_Repetition, the team’s #2 driver, went all crazy already at the pre-season test session, and didn’t improve in future events, only pissing people off. Team leader Pikey_Mikey jumped to his defence while ignoring the blatant facts of him being a liability, and Dj went on to get a week’s ban. He was replaced by IWIN, or rather ILOSE, who proved to be insanely smug and somehow even more inbred than Neljack, and it didn’t take any more than 1 heat race and 2 main series races for him to be out. Clearly offended, the teammates left and never returned. And after the following week’s HSR idiocy was cleaned out of the way, the quality of racing went up like a rocket.

A_johnson: AKA “I drive backwards when I get mad” guy. I actually never got to race him because he got himself banned before my grand entrance. Seems like I missed out on a lot of cool stuff.

Adam / AMD / Am: Some people probably know how to tell them apart in the races, but I don't. :sly: Now I do, because 1) Am is the only one left and 2) he drives like a panicked pony trapped in a submarine.

Akmuq: The lad who has big words, but no championships. However, he might be dangerous. On a perfect day. Thus far, he’s displayed some decency by noting Ayrton Senna’s crybaby attitude, as well as having that awesome battle for the win with me at Nürb before the annoying Spurgy kicked in. Akmuq is also known with the pseudonym “SuperLuke”. Now that fella did it, he actually changed his GTP name to Luke. To me, he’ll always be @Akmuq though. With no capital A’s, because that’s how I remember him. The worst part isn’t the name change though, but the fact he has become a lot more... lukewarm lately.

Altezza: Thought BMW was dominant? These things in S1 were 1.5 seconds a lap quicker... at Cape Inside. 200kg weight and 10% power barely bought them in line. That's dominance... (information by Furi – indeed – I wouldn’t post unbiased factual information like some boring scientist)

Andil: He’s actually called Moleman in PSN because he can’t see anything and divebombs people because of that. The true story might be a little less exciting than that. Championships also appear to avoid him like the plague. Then again, aren’t moles somewhat related to rats? So maybe they might carry some sorta disease. Now a real life racer. Unlike Spurgy, he hasn't ended up on any "How not to drive a race car" videos for all I know.

Arcade draft: Draft was way too strong in S3, hence the name. Nowadays with the better settings, arcade draft won't be missed.

Audi: ILOSE says too slow. ILOSE is always correct. If Furi listened to ILOSE more often, TOCA would become more competitive. 13OCA-era update: What do you get when you combine the only 4WD car in the series with some of the most dominant setups out there? Let’s just say that things got very ugly very fast, the details aren’t pretty.

Axman: Possibly the only driver in TOCA history to have been lapped in a race. That was back at Laguna Seca, on S5. Not sure how that really could happen... I’m speechless. I also wonder what he's up to now. I know it's shocking, but all of these drivers we've had over the years do have lives and interests outside of GT, except for me back in my early GTP years.

@banter: Please come back to GTP, and don’t be a fake account like that “TheRealBanter” or whoever it was. :(

Banter Bus: All aboard Chqr’s Banter Bus! He even attempted to make a joke series out of it, but that probably went all nuts. Never underestimate the awesomeness of TOCA banter!

Blue: Ever wanted to start a TOCA team, but without having a good color scheme? May I recommend blue, the color that enjoyed extraordinary popularity during 10CA. Hey, look at that close battle! Ninners in the blue car trying to hold off Andil right behind him in that other blue car. Now the blue car of Joe tries to make it 3 wide! Furi in that blue car is looking for an opportunity right behind them. Wait no, that's impossible, Furi's running way back, right there in that other pack with the blue car of Adam giving the blue car of Yera a push!

BMW: The fairly controversial car of S3 that hasn't been seen since. Known to dominate the whole season, leading Sumo and Neljack alone into the championship fight and allowing Dax to take some easy wins too, with only other BMW's as resistance most of the time. Now back with a fatter version looking to annex more poor FWD drivers and Infinitis. Also over-rated.

BMW's stock turbo: A nice little feature on the BMW which Furi thinks makes the BMW faster despite the fact it's been tested

Brands Hatch: A track whose presence in GT6 makes a lot of TOCA drivers slightly over-excited.

Camikaze: Take 2 guesses as to where the name comes from. Or, rather, don’t. Because he’s somehow not as bad as his name suggests. :sly:

Carbonox: AKA driving god. Unfortunately even driving gods can’t really do much when the stupid Mazda wears out its tires like a big-arse cement truck on hot sand. S9 plans are unconfirmed, but you should know you have no chance when this person is on the grid with you. Well, that season sucked, but so did the Mazda. Bleh.10CA sucked especially bad. Driving god stepped down from his high horse, err, I mean stewarding platform, and started to do something productive instead, such as playing GTA and inventing a new type of banter, called "Racial Banter". He’s back, and so is the Dictionary! Mr. Penguin would like to add that a creepy fellow going by ‘Furinkazen’ had absolutely nothing to do with his return to business. By the way, did you know this guy totally knows how to set up a car?

Chqr: Well known troll who also likes to try and race (as well as do NASCAR). Watch out! He likes Danican’t for some odd reason. Nasty. He's back! Alter ego's include TOCA Derpina and Danny Kapatrik. He'll have some real bad news to swallow this year when Princess Sparkle Pony hangs up the helmet.

Chrisjohnson93: I don’t know what this guy’s problem is, but he sure likes to wreck people a lot. After his most recent adventure, I'm rather certain that in a real dictionary, he's the definition of "bonehead". This writer (who hopes he’d be the only writer if the other contributors are anything like Furinkazen) sure had some nasty experience with him at Red Bull Ring, but fortunately, that was the end of the story. For now, anyway. Did I write this solely because I was feeling salty at the end of that one meeting? Probably did.

Cloudspotting: A great in-game hobby on the verge of extinction. DaxCobra, what are you going to do about it? Playing WoW isn't a solution.

Cnd01: Would you believe that this guy, who comes from Alabama and has a single tooth, is the only person I have never beaten in a 13OCA race?

cool_kiwi_12: Got banned for some reason in season 3. The “some reason” was a good bunch of idiotic moves, such as wrecking the chances of the driving god as often as three times. Apparently he was decent in rainy conditions.

Dano: Another wrecker. Do these types of drivers grow on trees or something? Well, what do you know, after he messed up at Fuji and was banned…

Danosdad: STEVE KICKED IN YO! Too bad his real life racing experience (?) wasn’t quite enough to change Furi’s mind. Or anyone else’s for the matter. It probably just made things worse, duh.

DaxCobra: The guy who likes to moan. Allegedly also the Season 4.2 champion, though in complete sense only a half-champion as the season wasn't completed. Approach with caution. Moaned his way out of seasons five, six and seven as well. He often used to team up with Neljack, although he was generally outshadowed due to Neljack being much better looking than him. Nowadays Dax hasn’t really been very active in GT5 as he has found a new favorite game that he plays 18 hours a day (the remaining 6 he spends working as a butler). The game is named.................... World of Warcraft. Dax is also noted to have raged at people for not congratulating him even though he took a triple at S4 after being the only driver who arrived at the meeting sober. The only person who has actually congratulated him is Furi, who became impressed after seeing Dax's unusually high WoW level. On a side note, he’s also an avid Chuck Norris fan. In the 9th edition of TOCA, we saw another ragequit. I will accept bets on how long he will last in 10CA. He didn't. Blaming him is actually a nice solution to lots of things, and I personally thoroughly and whole-heartedly encourage everyone to do it.

Daytona: A track Furi seriously considers for every series, mainly as no skill is involved to getting around it and Furi can sometimes win there. No wonder that piece of green debris got pole there.

DC: NOT DaxCobra, but DisConnected. The full word often gets censored in GT5's chat. UPDATE: Apparently that no longer happens. Still, it’s more fun to just type “DC” than “disconnect”. Especially if you’re lazy. Usually a result of a poor connection (Neljack I’m looking at you).

Death By Carbon: A team run by me, with two appearances and one teams’ championship. We nearly lost it thanks to Neljack skipping races. Hey, buddy, this isn’t WRC, where you can run just the rallies you feel you’re comfortable with.Finally BST V8 champions... like it or not, that was :censored:ing nostalgic.

DK: AKA driftking18594, the one who nicknames his cars Asuka or something similar. Also a 1-and-a-half time champion. Got a couple of bans for dangerous driving - well, what else is new? Now he’s gotten out of rehab and actually seems to be driving tolerably. I’m surprised, but also kinda glad he didn’t go down the same path as poor Vtec.

DNF: Did Not Finish, in other words either DC'd, ragequitted, or got distracted. In any case, a DNF is worth no points and the last place on the grid for the following race. Except for GTP_Johny. Finally averted, thank god for 15 points a race in that dreadful Suzuka night.

DNQ: Did Not Qualify, might be home truth for anyone outside the top 12 who can't get in via the qualifying races. Despite this, James somehow made it a few times due to a small number of entries. Early in 13OCA, a bunch of good drivers suffered this fate due to... reasons. :P

DNS: Did Not Start. For DNS'ers, the fate is the same as for DNF'ers, even if the reason was a last minute DC (see above). For so long.

Dragon Trail Double Chicane: The pinnacle of modern track design. You wreck, and the guy behind you deals with all the consequences. PD must've been having a field day coming up with this one, much like the Pocono clone that looks like it should be from a Chinese NASCAR ripoff game.

DSQ: DiSQualified. Either for reckless driving or doing something else stupid, like getting a Johny pole (see below) without yielding. Or having an illegal car. Whichever you prefer. Even better, try driving backwards and you can even get a red flag! On the minus side, you’ll probably never race in the series again. Roflwaffle is definitely trying to be the next one to get this.

Durex: A popular sponsor for many TOCA teams, only to be let down close to the season for various reasons. The closest we got to a full-time Durex team was my Dodge/Mobil1 series entry, the #56 Martin Durex Jr Racing Dodge.

ECM: Thought I’d start listing other teams besides mine and those I like to poke fun at the most. ECM, err, it has 2 aliens and 1 desk (if Furi is to be believed) racing in it at 13OCA, and are on top of the standings, but deep down I know it’s all because of the Audi and they’d be struggling to qualify for races if they manned up and used an FWD car instead. ;)

Energy Drinks: Because we know they're some of the most profitable sponsors to have.

Factory Support: Also known as a cheap way of getting a third car on your team. "Technical help" my arse. Still continuing. But hey, I don’t blame you, especially if you can construct such an amazing name for your independent entry as ‘ECM-K’.

F1-King-GT: Kind of unknown for many, but well known for those who did Mighty Mini’s at London. Previously mistakenly referred to as male, close investigation has now showed that this person is actually a young girl named Pansy. She became so excited about reaching puberty during the Mini race that she... well, totally messed up. It took about 5 laps to lap her and another 5 laps to get rid of her due to the constant blocking and swerving. Too bad for her that Furi was awake and did the first deed in his life that made sense, by kicking her out.

FlyingFox: Like Joe, hasn't made himself that famous on track, but hosted Swifts once. Known as the old man of TOCA (though unfortunately, not at all the least aggressive one). The leader of the fearsome yellow Vette! Vette! Vette! battalion at WSC. So watch yourselves.

FordMKIVJ5: That name’s really awesome to spell out in Comic Sans for some reason, probably because of all the capital letters. Ahem, he’s also known as ‘marunda’, which was part of the reason I thought for a very short while, prior to Dax’s Lotus Elise (?) series that he might’ve been a girl. There, I just revealed an embarrassing secret of mine to everyone. Ahem, he’s very male, and very excited about driving a Ferrari 330 P4. Or, was it that other WSC Prototype car? Who knows, who cares.

Four-Wheel Drive: A drivetrain for noob drivers in touring cars, also known as Tombrooks. Saving grace is its wet grip and ability to get out the gravel, not even Tom will be able to beach it this time. What’d I just say about 4WD? Remember, kids, only a noob coward would pick one of these cars. :sly:

Front-Engined Rear Wheel Drive: A drive-train which is either faster or slower than FF, pick this and you never know how fast you will be.

Furi: Short for Furinkazen. The creator of TOCA who likes to play dirty despite the rules stating otherwise. He likes to play with his own rules despite clear arguments against them, so approach with caution. Also he likes to pick the dominant car whenever he can in order to win 1 race per season, as he often did... until Season 5. And 6. Right, so S7 actually ended that winless streak... damn. Oh well, Furi’s still keeping TOCA alive so well decently that he’s now known as the father of the FRL family. On another note, he’s known for being the founder of many other things besides FRL, such as the Johanna Long Fanclub (I’m a proud member) and Union of Male Gigglers Who Are Not Ashamed, which consists of two people, him and DaxCobra. He’s also known for grabbing a girl and attempting erotic asphyxiation one night (don’t ask me what that means). For Neljack’s sake, I hope that wasn’t Megan. The legend of the lamp still keeps going as of 2015. I last updated this in 2015? Feels more like 2013, man.

Furi'ing tires: Wearing one's tires really quickly. Often used in other series rather than TOCA, because this one had no tire wear, until Season 6 re-introduced it. The name comes from-- well, try to guess. As a side note, tire wear really sucks. Maybe not anymore, even though the Megan...e's tires screech so badly I just want to mute my TV.

Furi Logic: A sense of hopefulness that is never quite fulfilled and this is from his latest woman. :lol:

Gokartman: The creepiest person in TOCA. Also known as Samantha. Words cannot describe how sick this person truly is. The only thing sicker than him is his connection. If you can complete a race without Kartman lagging, then it probably means you’re dead, because that will only happen in heaven.

Gran Turismo 6: A game that, compared to GT5, is 🤬. Thanks to PD rushing it, we lost GT5 online way earlier than we should have, and even though this isn't an objective opinion, driving physics are far worse. I mean, the transition from 5 to 6 killed my performance, and my career. Why do tires screech so much in this game? It makes no sense. #RANT My opinion of this game may have recently changed to a better direction. If there’s one thing I still hate (apart from tire screeching) though, is that they re-introduced the screen that shows your winning percentage! My main account’s career is ruined due to so many online races!

Gran Turismo Sport: The online-only sequel to the previous game. Seems to attract loads of banter in the form of lapped cars in public sessions, and whatnot. I think associating with the community is the second best way out there to gain hernia (right behind all sorts of interactions with ILOSE) but some may have more fun racing privately. It'll still be a wreckfest, but at least it's semi-familiar drivers that are wrecking you, and they might even get a penalty if the head steward displays enough interest in reviewing the thing to begin with.

GTP_Johny: AKA the TOCA troll, LKWTrailer, RaciGManiac, Ghova, ForceKahvi (Kahvi means coffee in Finnish as a matter of fact!) and something else too. Won several races but once took people hostage in the NASCAR Trucks lobby, which resulted in him getting kicked out. He later returned as LKWTrailer only to suffer the same fate. (Goodbye!)

Haitch: Also known as A Purchase or Hiatch. The official TOCA Troll, at least for some while. TOCA Snail too. Now known as Lizard, named after a meme deader than the Motegi oval. Not racing or anything, but thought I'd... bring it up.

High Speed Ring: A track that proved to be a wreckfest, as well as arcade draft heaven in earlier days. Guess we won’t miss that one.

Hispania - Unfortunate nickname of CALM DAN's Lexus. He was a decent driver, but he had a car that was only good on straights. Wait, thats better than a real Hispania...

HSV010: Uses Akmuq’s old name and is now being blamed for it. Has apparently done other stuff as well, like naming his teams after real life teams.Has acted pretty childish recently. I should've expected that as soon as I saw his PSN "CARBOYXJR". A common rule of thumb: If someone's got a PSN name in full caps, they're not expected to be particularly mature. Just look at IWIN. :lol: Most recently known as the man who had a podium in every single 13OCA race.

International Touring Car Championship: TOCA's first name, lasted for a day before everyone realized the majority here were from Great Britain and Ireland. Do I even need to go into detail regarding what ITCC is like now? I salute the fallen trooper.

ITCC_Formula_Andrew_Moda: Also known as MrMelancholy, which was a derpressing name, so most called him just MrMoody. According to Overlord Furinkazen, he tried entering TOCA once but couldn't afford tires, making his career remarkably short. Apparently also trolled TOCA thread during the TOCA/ITCC rivalry's most heated point.

IWIN: ICHALLENGED ISPURGY to a IRACE 1 on 1, but INEVER showed up. IWONDER if he's just an IPUSSY. ITRIED to IINTERVIEW him, but all IGOT from him was "lol n00b".

With the most ICHILDISH name ever, the biggest IEGO of all time and an ILOSER attitude, he's IGOING to make it very far indeed. IHAVING a permanent ITOCA ban on his IRESUME is... IDEFINITELY going to impress the big boys. Not to IMENTION Pikey_mikey, his only IFRIEND in a IPOSITION of IPOWER, has left the IBUILDING. Thus, this IKID is left all IALONE in the big IWORLD.

IHE is also an insurance IPLANNER despite having IGRAMMAR that is so IBAD, ICAN'T tell if he's a human or tapir. IRECOMMEND steering clear of his ICOMPANY. You'll never IKNOW what you might IGET. Have IGONE too far with this description?

James6653: The slowest man who ever lived. 9 seconds down... at Laguna in the fastest car in the field. Showed his team management skills by firing drivers before they even showed up... Wait, maybe thats why he fired them, they were going to show up. And let’s not forget his Truck adventures. OK, that would be just painful to read, so I won’t comment on it any more than this. Wait, fastest car in the field? So Furi knowingly made some cars faster than others? That’s outrageous--- wait, I really gotta start getting with the times here. Wasn't there some team he tried to start with the initials C' N T? I had a laugh the other day thinking about it.

Jamie: That's a name for fast people, Jamie-C and Jamie_STEEZ. Neither of whom were full timers thankfully.

JoeOfTheFire: One of the few prominent drivers that hasn’t really done anything particularly stupid or funny. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the average Joe of FRL. So much for retirement. In fairness, I don’t feel like saying anything jerky at this entry.

Johny pole: A pole position gained in a reverse grid event by having a DNS or DNF in the previous race. Nowadays frowned upon and prohibited. Just try to guess where the name comes from.

k: k

Kifflom!

Laguna Seca: A track Furi took out of the calendar to annoy me. In loving memory, I named my independent entry after the circuit. Although unlike S9, this time I won’t even be using a Mazda!!!! Pure blasphemy. See if I care though.

LancerEvo7: Sandwich Man. Makes sandwiches for drivers between races. Be careful what you wish for though. He's also one of the many unfortunate folks who got lured into Furi's team with hopes of great success.His twin brother, LancerEvo, who was active about a few centuries ago, was also invited to the banter bus. I wonder what that guy would have to say to it. His consistency is totally radical, yo.

Lloyd: The superalien only lasted one round, but left behind a legacy in the form of a free setup for me--- I mean, a slight upgrade to my picture-perfect setup that made me even faster than I usually was.

Madrid Mini: AKA 'That ****** little track'- A quite fun track with turn 1 wide enough for one car, Furi attended this event. RIP to the Spanish Nation.

Mazda-Honda rivalry: A rivarly that really heated up thanks to me and Akmuq as early as S2. Unfortunately the cars never really fought each other for wins and championships until TOCA Legends, where Akmuq won with the Honda due to a bunch of lucky runs along with the fact my Mazda had even worse tire wear than the Honda. In the main TOCA series, well, sometimes the Mazda has thrived, sometimes the Honda. There just isn’t much of a rivalry though, with the original perpetrators gone. Well, now one of them is still here, but he's not even driving a Mazda. So, I guess we have to bury this rivalry once again. :( Both cars actually exist in 13OCA, but haven’t been particularly notable for performance. Interesting little fact, that one.

Matty: Akmuq's drunk friend, who, in his early GTP days, had the best grammar in the world. He's also a great singer, having performed pieces such as "Last Christmas" and "Dragostea Din Tei".

Megane: Neljack’s sister and lover. What? Why are you guys staring at me? Oh wait, we’re talking about the Megane, with the E at the end. That’s a cool car, especially at the support series ages ago. Now it’ll probably kick ass in the main series, but knowing Furi, it won’t because he didn’t pick it. Also seems to destroy most cars in a straight line. Unfortunately it turns like the descendant of a firetruck and battleship.

Memto: Completely unrelated to TOCA, but man is he the king of penalties in GT6. During my business trip to Antiqua and Barbuda, I ran into someone who told me Memto gave them a 60 second penalty for having three different shades of color in their rear wing, even though the maximum amount was two.

MustangRyan: The man who bravely tackled the road courses of TOCA, even though he always said he would suck. He made sure to keep his promises there. :sly: No hard feelings!

NASTOCAR: I’m not entirely sure how this’d turn out, but the idea is that we take our TOCA cars and race them on ovals. SSRX for special banter. Although I must wonder how our 4WD cars from across the banterific history of TOCA would manage races like that.

Neljack: A creepy cultist whose real name was revealed to be Zolag. The one who always finishes 2nd or 3rd. Be it races or full championships. Well, except for that one FIA GT1 season. And the Swift season. Actually won the title without winning a race... talk about pathetic. :sly: We had high expectations in TOCA S5 after teaming up, but obviously he didn’t bother showing up for half the races, nearly costing the teams’ title. However he loves V-Specs, and he also loves Alfie and Charlie. Also loves nuclear waste and pop songs on GTA V. Gonna make me feel, like I’m the only girl in the world... :) #YNWA #BRAVEHEART

Ninners: Next alien driver of TOCA? Plz don’t let that happen.Not an alien, well I suppose that's a relief. Even though I don't even race anymore, but I suppose it's generally more interesting when no one's dominant. :P Apart from TOCA racing, Nin likes getting tree'd a lot. Don't ever take up drag racing, Nin-Jaw. Guess what? He was an alien after all! Luckily, for a while now, he has really struggled to close the deal in Race 3’s.

Niop: The man from UTAH who I remember surprisingly well for some Monaco race where he held up over half the field, methinks. Also the Jimmie Johnson of GTP NASCAR, with 3 consecutive championships. I wonder how bored people were getting of him. If he wasn't Jimmie Johnson-y enough, he has picked, yup, the number 48 for 14OCA. The car's color really doesn't seem to match the man he's trying to mimic, though.

OwensRacing: Became public laughing stock at the childfree thread. Aside from that, no real TOCA appearances (hopefully so, given the narcissistic attitude). A living Durex commercial.

Panoz: The man who consistently seems to drive cars with poor top end. Easy to take on the straightaways, but in corners he'll grab on to your butt like a steward on a series leader's butt.

Paulmac2k9: Jason Plato's GTP account. Known for complaining about everything yet having a point, but no one notices as he complains. Considered Dax Cobra's role model. Also a very quick test driver and tuner. Really kinda ruined his reputation at the end of S9 at Nürb with a stupid move. Has displayed a similar attitude to ILOSE a couple of times, which ain’t nice.

Penguin: Everyone's favorite animal in TOCA. Who doesn't love a friendly neighborhood penguin?!

Raceorama: Apparently a minor Monza troll. Unlike his counterpart (see slightly below) he tends to complete full campaigns though. Except 13OCA, where there constantly seems to be a variety of reasons for him not being around. :D

Ranhammer: The best lapped down car in the world. Sure he’s slow, but... something about him is... just too awesome.

Red: The new blue, as in the color that appears to be in fashion. Because it wouldn't be TOCA if half the cars in the field didn't look the same for bants.

RedPartyhat: DNQ'd one weekend, then won his first TOCA start, but it was at wet Monza so I don't know if anyone ever cared about it. He's more of a NASCAR type, yet can't understand why I like watching old NASCAR races (you know, before the artificialness). When he starts posting countryball comics in your direction, you know there'll never be an end to it. Ignorance doesn't help. I'm dead serious. :grumpy: Has replaced countryballs with other obscure content, such as anime. In Season 14, you can't miss that bald face on his car staring at you. Meanwhile the rear end of his car represents capitalism in all of its glory.

Reverse grids: ILOSE wants no reverse grids. ILOSE says they don't belong to professional series.

Roflwaffle: Guy who allegedly competed in the very first TOCA season (maybe even first ever race?) and is now about to make his second appearance... in 10CA. I don't know if I should label him as a rookie, veteran, or an odd mixture of both. :sly: Now a regular member of the Banter Club. Patience is a virtue, and Roflwaffle has chosen to live a virtue-free life.

Rolo: Official Monza troll. It's almost like he picks the car that fits wet weather best, and then cruises into a Monza victory because under Overlord Furi's rules, every weather change event MUST HAVE AT LEAST ONE, BUT MOSTLY TWO WET RACES.

RPM: Furi's own team, previously known as MRT (Season 3) and FTR (Season 4). They won the teams' championship under the MRT name, but after akmuq left them, TomBrooks replaced him afterwards. Considering Furi's reputation, the team might have been though to have had difficulties with getting another title, but signing defending champion Spurgy for Season 6 proved otherwise. Just 🤬 off, RPM. You need alien drivers to win championships, happy now? Thinking of it, almost everytime RPM have won a title, they 1) had an alien onboard, 2) had no other teams running full time so they were practically running for teams' title alone. Would've been funny if they still lost it. :lol: They went from RPM to FAS, but that doesn’t really change their reputation. Sadly, even I defected to drive for them as a backup – FOR SEVERAL WEEKS!

Scaniabebe: The man who dealt the Senna quote in the wrong place in the wrong time. Sorry, mate, I’m sure everyone in TOCA respects a more NASCAR-like approach to pack racing. Now he’s back? Well, I sure would like some improvement.It's a capital offence if tires have a slightly wrong rim size.

Smuffy: A champ from S8. Drove for RPM. Not sure if I should say anything else. :(

SnowCrash: Got a nasty start to his TOCA career when he joined my team only to be left on his own after I left as a *ahem* protest against changes such as excessive tire wear that only favored Spurgy. Probably best driver in the series thus far who hasn't won a title - along with Joe. Coincidentally, both have been relatively boring on and off track.

Spurgy: Hi alien. Three seasons in TOCA, three championships. I’ll take back what I said in the F1-King-GT section. Kicking out Spurgy was another senseful thing Furi did in his life. It really got nasty when he was about a second faster than everyone when tire wear got included in S6. Did I mention he's actually a 3-time champion too? Lesson learned, kids, that's what happens with aliens. :rolleyes: On second thought, he's the only one who really understands my sense of humor. And he has officially proved in front of everyone that IWIN is a coward. :lol: Although he’s still a sort of a coward himself too, and that’s gonna be hard to disprove.

Success ballast: What you get when you just utterly fail to spec yo’ cars.

Sumo: The Season 3 champion who hasn't been seen recently. Pretty much dominated the field that season, although there's a good excuse for that too - the BMW. Won on a one-off in ~shock~ a FWD Volvo in S5 at Spa, and decided to come back in ~shock~ a BMW for S6.

Sun: EVERYONE WORSHIP THE GIANT SUN! GT6 TAKES PLACE 5 BILLION YEARS IN THE FUTURE WHEN IT’S, LIKE, HUGE AND PROBABLY SLIGHTLY REDDISH!

Suzuki Swift: Note to Furi, a car that has much less HP stock than the TOCA machines doesn’t usually compete properly in the series. Just leave the Swift alone, it’s better in the one-make series. And now, in GT6, I might return as a full-time host! In addition, Swifts won’t have any of the dumb rules from TOCA, only the good sides of touring car racing. :D OK, so, I won't. Akmuq might. If he has time, with all his recent *cough* commitments.

SYM: To be fair, all I know about SYM is that after SnowCrash went somewhere, Yera grabbed Spurgy for one freaky reason or another, and the team went all downhill from there. :sly:

Tiebreaker: A word that Furi should learn. When two or more drivers are tied in points, the one with a better single race finish is put ahead. If it's the same, the quantity of those finishes decides it, and if they are the same too, the 2nd, 3rd etc. best finish decides the outcome. Now Furi made up a rule that the guy who finished higher In the previous event actually gets the higher position in case of a tie. WHAT THE LIVING HELL, MAY I ASK?!

Toad: Used as a nickname of old people in BST V8's. Made occasional attempts to invade TOCA, but they were mostly fruitless. Members include Toad Senior (Cunny), Toad Leader (Gedi) and Fisherman Who Should Stay Away From Neljack's Various Fish (JB).

TOCA Dog: Neljack's dog named Charlie. Likes to get Neljack's attention in the middle of a race. Also likely to get a promotion to Chief Steward due to his activeness. He’s getting rough as he physically assaulted Neljack with me witnessing the whole deal. Might be plotting his murder in secret so he can truly become a steward for all eternity. His younger brother Alfie also punched Neljack with his tail.

TOCA Ghost: Not much is known about him, but apparently he appeared during a testing session. According to Neljack, his name could be Johnny. We don't know how TOCA Ghost is associated with GTP_Johny, but if you feel you're being watched, be careful - it might be him.

TOCA Poet: Yeah, I’m not just the penguin anymore, but also the poet. Just look at the section below to see why. (It was an accidental rhyme, but point stands!) Apparently Fox has done poetry in the past as well. Now that’s what I’d call sweet.

Tom: Used to drive in TOCA but he took a vase to the knee! He’s also an avid interviewer and race commentator, which is why I can’t think of anything mildly insulting to say about him.

Trollvo: No, there’s no Volvo, just the Trollvo. A car that even I have once driven in MrMoody’s ITCC. In TOCA, it’s apparently been way too fast sometime in the past. (I made a rhyme again! That reminds me, I should add a section just above this one...)

Twissy: Another alien replacing Spurgy. Unfortunately he thought he was above the rules and decided to run ABS at 10. Whether it helps or not, he was outta here. This even created what became known as the “Twissy-gate” when some people jumped in his defence, such as DONK--- I mean MULE_9242, but Furi didn’t care. Not one little bit. In fact, Twissy even lost all his points from the season. Pity.

NOT.

VenoMMotorsports: DaxCobra's team that was once equipped by himself, akmuq, and a pair of ba... err, I mean Honda's. They have won many championships, including the TOCA title, but then Neljack was part of the team. After he received a better offer from DBC, akmuq was called in as replacement, but can the team return to success now? Answer turned out to be no due to Akmuq's internet having Leprechauns, Dax with no sponsor, but Dax decided to team up with Sumo for S6. What do you know, they weren’t really a threat due to Dax quitting. And now they’ve essentially folded.

VTEC: The biggest troll in TOCA history. Known for divebombing, ragequitting when he was accidentally hit off, and never winning a race properly. Got banned after the Tsukuba round in S3, where he mistook the other drivers as actors for the new film "The VTEC Tsukuba Massacre". The damage caused by him was so severe that he got sent off immediately and had to pay large sums to fix everyone's car and the damaged sections of the track as well.

VW: Too fast. And Now too slow.

Willow Springs: Can somebody tell me who decided to make that last corner the way it is now? Nobody blame me if you slam into the back of me there, it's impossible for me to go through it quickly. :rolleyes: Oh hey, it got scrapped from 13OCA. Considering that was the super-twisty version I vaguely remember from NFS: ProStreet, yeah, I guess it’s a good thing it got dropped. :P By the way, no lights either. Have fun navigating at night!

Yeratel: Won a championship and probably something else, or something. Likes to be compared to Keke Rosberg due to his morbid age.
 
Carbonox
The official TOCA dictionary for n00bs - The Why-Do-I-Even-Bother-To-Still-Do-This 14OCA version!!! (Mostly--- *cough* Entirely By Carbonox)

For visually challenged or otherwise just plain stupid people, new additions by Pingu are in bold.

Remember, kids. All of you have the right not to be offended. You also have the right to sue me for pretty much any reason and you'll probably win, but try to forget that part, it's not important. :sly:

In hindsight, some of the updates are kinda mean. Some of them I'm still proud of (ILOSE, F1-King-GT etc.), others not, but they remain unchanged for the most part for the sole reason that nobody has complained about them yet.

1066 Racing: The biggest joke of a team in TOCA history. Dj_Repetition, the team’s #2 driver, went all crazy already at the pre-season test session, and didn’t improve in future events, only pissing people off. Team leader Pikey_Mikey jumped to his defence while ignoring the blatant facts of him being a liability, and Dj went on to get a week’s ban. He was replaced by IWIN, or rather ILOSE, who proved to be insanely smug and somehow even more inbred than Neljack, and it didn’t take any more than 1 heat race and 2 main series races for him to be out. Clearly offended, the teammates left and never returned. And after the following week’s HSR idiocy was cleaned out of the way, the quality of racing went up like a rocket.

A_johnson: AKA “I drive backwards when I get mad” guy. I actually never got to race him because he got himself banned before my grand entrance. Seems like I missed out on a lot of cool stuff.

Adam / AMD / Am: Some people probably know how to tell them apart in the races, but I don't. :sly: Now I do, because 1) Am is the only one left and 2) he drives like a panicked pony trapped in a submarine.

Akmuq: The lad who has big words, but no championships. However, he might be dangerous. On a perfect day. Thus far, he’s displayed some decency by noting Ayrton Senna’s crybaby attitude, as well as having that awesome battle for the win with me at Nürb before the annoying Spurgy kicked in. Akmuq is also known with the pseudonym “SuperLuke”. Now that fella did it, he actually changed his GTP name to Luke. To me, he’ll always be @Akmuq though. With no capital A’s, because that’s how I remember him. The worst part isn’t the name change though, but the fact he has become a lot more... lukewarm lately.

Altezza: Thought BMW was dominant? These things in S1 were 1.5 seconds a lap quicker... at Cape Inside. 200kg weight and 10% power barely bought them in line. That's dominance... (information by Furi – indeed – I wouldn’t post unbiased factual information like some boring scientist)

Andil: He’s actually called Moleman in PSN because he can’t see anything and divebombs people because of that. The true story might be a little less exciting than that. Championships also appear to avoid him like the plague. Then again, aren’t moles somewhat related to rats? So maybe they might carry some sorta disease. Now a real life racer. Unlike Spurgy, he hasn't ended up on any "How not to drive a race car" videos for all I know.

Arcade draft: Draft was way too strong in S3, hence the name. Nowadays with the better settings, arcade draft won't be missed.

Audi: ILOSE says too slow. ILOSE is always correct. If Furi listened to ILOSE more often, TOCA would become more competitive. 13OCA-era update: What do you get when you combine the only 4WD car in the series with some of the most dominant setups out there? Let’s just say that things got very ugly very fast, the details aren’t pretty.

Axman: Possibly the only driver in TOCA history to have been lapped in a race. That was back at Laguna Seca, on S5. Not sure how that really could happen... I’m speechless. I also wonder what he's up to now. I know it's shocking, but all of these drivers we've had over the years do have lives and interests outside of GT, except for me back in my early GTP years.

@banter: Please come back to GTP, and don’t be a fake account like that “TheRealBanter” or whoever it was. :(

Banter Bus: All aboard Chqr’s Banter Bus! He even attempted to make a joke series out of it, but that probably went all nuts. Never underestimate the awesomeness of TOCA banter!

Blue: Ever wanted to start a TOCA team, but without having a good color scheme? May I recommend blue, the color that enjoyed extraordinary popularity during 10CA. Hey, look at that close battle! Ninners in the blue car trying to hold off Andil right behind him in that other blue car. Now the blue car of Joe tries to make it 3 wide! Furi in that blue car is looking for an opportunity right behind them. Wait no, that's impossible, Furi's running way back, right there in that other pack with the blue car of Adam giving the blue car of Yera a push!

BMW: The fairly controversial car of S3 that hasn't been seen since. Known to dominate the whole season, leading Sumo and Neljack alone into the championship fight and allowing Dax to take some easy wins too, with only other BMW's as resistance most of the time. Now back with a fatter version looking to annex more poor FWD drivers and Infinitis. Also over-rated.

BMW's stock turbo: A nice little feature on the BMW which Furi thinks makes the BMW faster despite the fact it's been tested

Brands Hatch: A track whose presence in GT6 makes a lot of TOCA drivers slightly over-excited.

Camikaze: Take 2 guesses as to where the name comes from. Or, rather, don’t. Because he’s somehow not as bad as his name suggests. :sly:

Carbonox: AKA driving god. Unfortunately even driving gods can’t really do much when the stupid Mazda wears out its tires like a big-arse cement truck on hot sand. S9 plans are unconfirmed, but you should know you have no chance when this person is on the grid with you. Well, that season sucked, but so did the Mazda. Bleh.10CA sucked especially bad. Driving god stepped down from his high horse, err, I mean stewarding platform, and started to do something productive instead, such as playing GTA and inventing a new type of banter, called "Racial Banter". He’s back, and so is the Dictionary! Mr. Penguin would like to add that a creepy fellow going by ‘Furinkazen’ had absolutely nothing to do with his return to business. By the way, did you know this guy totally knows how to set up a car?

Chqr: Well known troll who also likes to try and race (as well as do NASCAR). Watch out! He likes Danican’t for some odd reason. Nasty. He's back! Alter ego's include TOCA Derpina and Danny Kapatrik. He'll have some real bad news to swallow this year when Princess Sparkle Pony hangs up the helmet.

Chrisjohnson93: I don’t know what this guy’s problem is, but he sure likes to wreck people a lot. After his most recent adventure, I'm rather certain that in a real dictionary, he's the definition of "bonehead". This writer (who hopes he’d be the only writer if the other contributors are anything like Furinkazen) sure had some nasty experience with him at Red Bull Ring, but fortunately, that was the end of the story. For now, anyway. Did I write this solely because I was feeling salty at the end of that one meeting? Probably did.

Cloudspotting: A great in-game hobby on the verge of extinction. DaxCobra, what are you going to do about it? Playing WoW isn't a solution.

Cnd01: Would you believe that this guy, who comes from Alabama and has a single tooth, is the only person I have never beaten in a 13OCA race?

cool_kiwi_12: Got banned for some reason in season 3. The “some reason” was a good bunch of idiotic moves, such as wrecking the chances of the driving god as often as three times. Apparently he was decent in rainy conditions.

Dano: Another wrecker. Do these types of drivers grow on trees or something? Well, what do you know, after he messed up at Fuji and was banned…

Danosdad: STEVE KICKED IN YO! Too bad his real life racing experience (?) wasn’t quite enough to change Furi’s mind. Or anyone else’s for the matter. It probably just made things worse, duh.

DaxCobra: The guy who likes to moan. Allegedly also the Season 4.2 champion, though in complete sense only a half-champion as the season wasn't completed. Approach with caution. Moaned his way out of seasons five, six and seven as well. He often used to team up with Neljack, although he was generally outshadowed due to Neljack being much better looking than him. Nowadays Dax hasn’t really been very active in GT5 as he has found a new favorite game that he plays 18 hours a day (the remaining 6 he spends working as a butler). The game is named.................... World of Warcraft. Dax is also noted to have raged at people for not congratulating him even though he took a triple at S4 after being the only driver who arrived at the meeting sober. The only person who has actually congratulated him is Furi, who became impressed after seeing Dax's unusually high WoW level. On a side note, he’s also an avid Chuck Norris fan. In the 9th edition of TOCA, we saw another ragequit. I will accept bets on how long he will last in 10CA. He didn't. Blaming him is actually a nice solution to lots of things, and I personally thoroughly and whole-heartedly encourage everyone to do it.

Daytona: A track Furi seriously considers for every series, mainly as no skill is involved to getting around it and Furi can sometimes win there. No wonder that piece of green debris got pole there.

DC: NOT DaxCobra, but DisConnected. The full word often gets censored in GT5's chat. UPDATE: Apparently that no longer happens. Still, it’s more fun to just type “DC” than “disconnect”. Especially if you’re lazy. Usually a result of a poor connection (Neljack I’m looking at you).

Death By Carbon: A team run by me, with two appearances and one teams’ championship. We nearly lost it thanks to Neljack skipping races. Hey, buddy, this isn’t WRC, where you can run just the rallies you feel you’re comfortable with.Finally BST V8 champions... like it or not, that was :censored:ing nostalgic.

DK: AKA driftking18594, the one who nicknames his cars Asuka or something similar. Also a 1-and-a-half time champion. Got a couple of bans for dangerous driving - well, what else is new? Now he’s gotten out of rehab and actually seems to be driving tolerably. I’m surprised, but also kinda glad he didn’t go down the same path as poor Vtec.

DNF: Did Not Finish, in other words either DC'd, ragequitted, or got distracted. In any case, a DNF is worth no points and the last place on the grid for the following race. Except for GTP_Johny. Finally averted, thank god for 15 points a race in that dreadful Suzuka night.

DNQ: Did Not Qualify, might be home truth for anyone outside the top 12 who can't get in via the qualifying races. Despite this, James somehow made it a few times due to a small number of entries. Early in 13OCA, a bunch of good drivers suffered this fate due to... reasons. :P

DNS: Did Not Start. For DNS'ers, the fate is the same as for DNF'ers, even if the reason was a last minute DC (see above). For so long.

Dragon Trail Double Chicane: The pinnacle of modern track design. You wreck, and the guy behind you deals with all the consequences. PD must've been having a field day coming up with this one, much like the Pocono clone that looks like it should be from a Chinese NASCAR ripoff game.

DSQ: DiSQualified. Either for reckless driving or doing something else stupid, like getting a Johny pole (see below) without yielding. Or having an illegal car. Whichever you prefer. Even better, try driving backwards and you can even get a red flag! On the minus side, you’ll probably never race in the series again. Roflwaffle is definitely trying to be the next one to get this.

Durex: A popular sponsor for many TOCA teams, only to be let down close to the season for various reasons. The closest we got to a full-time Durex team was my Dodge/Mobil1 series entry, the #56 Martin Durex Jr Racing Dodge.

ECM: Thought I’d start listing other teams besides mine and those I like to poke fun at the most. ECM, err, it has 2 aliens and 1 desk (if Furi is to be believed) racing in it at 13OCA, and are on top of the standings, but deep down I know it’s all because of the Audi and they’d be struggling to qualify for races if they manned up and used an FWD car instead. ;)

Energy Drinks: Because we know they're some of the most profitable sponsors to have.

Factory Support: Also known as a cheap way of getting a third car on your team. "Technical help" my arse. Still continuing. But hey, I don’t blame you, especially if you can construct such an amazing name for your independent entry as ‘ECM-K’.

F1-King-GT: Kind of unknown for many, but well known for those who did Mighty Mini’s at London. Previously mistakenly referred to as male, close investigation has now showed that this person is actually a young girl named Pansy. She became so excited about reaching puberty during the Mini race that she... well, totally messed up. It took about 5 laps to lap her and another 5 laps to get rid of her due to the constant blocking and swerving. Too bad for her that Furi was awake and did the first deed in his life that made sense, by kicking her out.

FlyingFox: Like Joe, hasn't made himself that famous on track, but hosted Swifts once. Known as the old man of TOCA (though unfortunately, not at all the least aggressive one). The leader of the fearsome yellow Vette! Vette! Vette! battalion at WSC. So watch yourselves.

FordMKIVJ5: That name’s really awesome to spell out in Comic Sans for some reason, probably because of all the capital letters. Ahem, he’s also known as ‘marunda’, which was part of the reason I thought for a very short while, prior to Dax’s Lotus Elise (?) series that he might’ve been a girl. There, I just revealed an embarrassing secret of mine to everyone. Ahem, he’s very male, and very excited about driving a Ferrari 330 P4. Or, was it that other WSC Prototype car? Who knows, who cares.

Four-Wheel Drive: A drivetrain for noob drivers in touring cars, also known as Tombrooks. Saving grace is its wet grip and ability to get out the gravel, not even Tom will be able to beach it this time. What’d I just say about 4WD? Remember, kids, only a noob coward would pick one of these cars. :sly:

Front-Engined Rear Wheel Drive: A drive-train which is either faster or slower than FF, pick this and you never know how fast you will be.

Furi: Short for Furinkazen. The creator of TOCA who likes to play dirty despite the rules stating otherwise. He likes to play with his own rules despite clear arguments against them, so approach with caution. Also he likes to pick the dominant car whenever he can in order to win 1 race per season, as he often did... until Season 5. And 6. Right, so S7 actually ended that winless streak... damn. Oh well, Furi’s still keeping TOCA alive so well decently that he’s now known as the father of the FRL family. On another note, he’s known for being the founder of many other things besides FRL, such as the Johanna Long Fanclub (I’m a proud member) and Union of Male Gigglers Who Are Not Ashamed, which consists of two people, him and DaxCobra. He’s also known for grabbing a girl and attempting erotic asphyxiation one night (don’t ask me what that means). For Neljack’s sake, I hope that wasn’t Megan. The legend of the lamp still keeps going as of 2015. I last updated this in 2015? Feels more like 2013, man.

Furi'ing tires: Wearing one's tires really quickly. Often used in other series rather than TOCA, because this one had no tire wear, until Season 6 re-introduced it. The name comes from-- well, try to guess. As a side note, tire wear really sucks. Maybe not anymore, even though the Megan...e's tires screech so badly I just want to mute my TV.

Furi Logic: A sense of hopefulness that is never quite fulfilled and this is from his latest woman. :lol:

Gokartman: The creepiest person in TOCA. Also known as Samantha. Words cannot describe how sick this person truly is. The only thing sicker than him is his connection. If you can complete a race without Kartman lagging, then it probably means you’re dead, because that will only happen in heaven.

Gran Turismo 6: A game that, compared to GT5, is 🤬. Thanks to PD rushing it, we lost GT5 online way earlier than we should have, and even though this isn't an objective opinion, driving physics are far worse. I mean, the transition from 5 to 6 killed my performance, and my career. Why do tires screech so much in this game? It makes no sense. #RANT My opinion of this game may have recently changed to a better direction. If there’s one thing I still hate (apart from tire screeching) though, is that they re-introduced the screen that shows your winning percentage! My main account’s career is ruined due to so many online races!

Gran Turismo Sport: The online-only sequel to the previous game. Seems to attract loads of banter in the form of lapped cars in public sessions, and whatnot. I think associating with the community is the second best way out there to gain hernia (right behind all sorts of interactions with ILOSE) but some may have more fun racing privately. It'll still be a wreckfest, but at least it's semi-familiar drivers that are wrecking you, and they might even get a penalty if the head steward displays enough interest in reviewing the thing to begin with.

GTP_Johny: AKA the TOCA troll, LKWTrailer, RaciGManiac, Ghova, ForceKahvi (Kahvi means coffee in Finnish as a matter of fact!) and something else too. Won several races but once took people hostage in the NASCAR Trucks lobby, which resulted in him getting kicked out. He later returned as LKWTrailer only to suffer the same fate. (Goodbye!)

Haitch: Also known as A Purchase or Hiatch. The official TOCA Troll, at least for some while. TOCA Snail too. Now known as Lizard, named after a meme deader than the Motegi oval. Not racing or anything, but thought I'd... bring it up.

High Speed Ring: A track that proved to be a wreckfest, as well as arcade draft heaven in earlier days. Guess we won’t miss that one.

Hispania - Unfortunate nickname of CALM DAN's Lexus. He was a decent driver, but he had a car that was only good on straights. Wait, thats better than a real Hispania...

HSV010: Uses Akmuq’s old name and is now being blamed for it. Has apparently done other stuff as well, like naming his teams after real life teams.Has acted pretty childish recently. I should've expected that as soon as I saw his PSN "CARBOYXJR". A common rule of thumb: If someone's got a PSN name in full caps, they're not expected to be particularly mature. Just look at IWIN. :lol: Most recently known as the man who had a podium in every single 13OCA race.

International Touring Car Championship: TOCA's first name, lasted for a day before everyone realized the majority here were from Great Britain and Ireland. Do I even need to go into detail regarding what ITCC is like now? I salute the fallen trooper.

ITCC_Formula_Andrew_Moda: Also known as MrMelancholy, which was a derpressing name, so most called him just MrMoody. According to Overlord Furinkazen, he tried entering TOCA once but couldn't afford tires, making his career remarkably short. Apparently also trolled TOCA thread during the TOCA/ITCC rivalry's most heated point.

IWIN: ICHALLENGED ISPURGY to a IRACE 1 on 1, but INEVER showed up. IWONDER if he's just an IPUSSY. ITRIED to IINTERVIEW him, but all IGOT from him was "lol n00b".

With the most ICHILDISH name ever, the biggest IEGO of all time and an ILOSER attitude, he's IGOING to make it very far indeed. IHAVING a permanent ITOCA ban on his IRESUME is... IDEFINITELY going to impress the big boys. Not to IMENTION Pikey_mikey, his only IFRIEND in a IPOSITION of IPOWER, has left the IBUILDING. Thus, this IKID is left all IALONE in the big IWORLD.

IHE is also an insurance IPLANNER despite having IGRAMMAR that is so IBAD, ICAN'T tell if he's a human or tapir. IRECOMMEND steering clear of his ICOMPANY. You'll never IKNOW what you might IGET. Have IGONE too far with this description?

James6653: The slowest man who ever lived. 9 seconds down... at Laguna in the fastest car in the field. Showed his team management skills by firing drivers before they even showed up... Wait, maybe thats why he fired them, they were going to show up. And let’s not forget his Truck adventures. OK, that would be just painful to read, so I won’t comment on it any more than this. Wait, fastest car in the field? So Furi knowingly made some cars faster than others? That’s outrageous--- wait, I really gotta start getting with the times here. Wasn't there some team he tried to start with the initials C' N T? I had a laugh the other day thinking about it.

Jamie: That's a name for fast people, Jamie-C and Jamie_STEEZ. Neither of whom were full timers thankfully.

JoeOfTheFire: One of the few prominent drivers that hasn’t really done anything particularly stupid or funny. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the average Joe of FRL. So much for retirement. In fairness, I don’t feel like saying anything jerky at this entry.

Johny pole: A pole position gained in a reverse grid event by having a DNS or DNF in the previous race. Nowadays frowned upon and prohibited. Just try to guess where the name comes from.

k: k

Kifflom!

Laguna Seca: A track Furi took out of the calendar to annoy me. In loving memory, I named my independent entry after the circuit. Although unlike S9, this time I won’t even be using a Mazda!!!! Pure blasphemy. See if I care though.

LancerEvo7: Sandwich Man. Makes sandwiches for drivers between races. Be careful what you wish for though. He's also one of the many unfortunate folks who got lured into Furi's team with hopes of great success.His twin brother, LancerEvo, who was active about a few centuries ago, was also invited to the banter bus. I wonder what that guy would have to say to it. His consistency is totally radical, yo.

Lloyd: The superalien only lasted one round, but left behind a legacy in the form of a free setup for me--- I mean, a slight upgrade to my picture-perfect setup that made me even faster than I usually was.

Madrid Mini: AKA 'That ****** little track'- A quite fun track with turn 1 wide enough for one car, Furi attended this event. RIP to the Spanish Nation.

Mazda-Honda rivalry: A rivarly that really heated up thanks to me and Akmuq as early as S2. Unfortunately the cars never really fought each other for wins and championships until TOCA Legends, where Akmuq won with the Honda due to a bunch of lucky runs along with the fact my Mazda had even worse tire wear than the Honda. In the main TOCA series, well, sometimes the Mazda has thrived, sometimes the Honda. There just isn’t much of a rivalry though, with the original perpetrators gone. Well, now one of them is still here, but he's not even driving a Mazda. So, I guess we have to bury this rivalry once again. :( Both cars actually exist in 13OCA, but haven’t been particularly notable for performance. Interesting little fact, that one.

Matty: Akmuq's drunk friend, who, in his early GTP days, had the best grammar in the world. He's also a great singer, having performed pieces such as "Last Christmas" and "Dragostea Din Tei".

Megane: Neljack’s sister and lover. What? Why are you guys staring at me? Oh wait, we’re talking about the Megane, with the E at the end. That’s a cool car, especially at the support series ages ago. Now it’ll probably kick ass in the main series, but knowing Furi, it won’t because he didn’t pick it. Also seems to destroy most cars in a straight line. Unfortunately it turns like the descendant of a firetruck and battleship.

Memto: Completely unrelated to TOCA, but man is he the king of penalties in GT6. During my business trip to Antiqua and Barbuda, I ran into someone who told me Memto gave them a 60 second penalty for having three different shades of color in their rear wing, even though the maximum amount was two.

MustangRyan: The man who bravely tackled the road courses of TOCA, even though he always said he would suck. He made sure to keep his promises there. :sly: No hard feelings!

NASTOCAR: I’m not entirely sure how this’d turn out, but the idea is that we take our TOCA cars and race them on ovals. SSRX for special banter. Although I must wonder how our 4WD cars from across the banterific history of TOCA would manage races like that.

Neljack: A creepy cultist whose real name was revealed to be Zolag. The one who always finishes 2nd or 3rd. Be it races or full championships. Well, except for that one FIA GT1 season. And the Swift season. Actually won the title without winning a race... talk about pathetic. :sly: We had high expectations in TOCA S5 after teaming up, but obviously he didn’t bother showing up for half the races, nearly costing the teams’ title. However he loves V-Specs, and he also loves Alfie and Charlie. Also loves nuclear waste and pop songs on GTA V. Gonna make me feel, like I’m the only girl in the world... :) #YNWA #BRAVEHEART

Ninners: Next alien driver of TOCA? Plz don’t let that happen.Not an alien, well I suppose that's a relief. Even though I don't even race anymore, but I suppose it's generally more interesting when no one's dominant. :P Apart from TOCA racing, Nin likes getting tree'd a lot. Don't ever take up drag racing, Nin-Jaw. Guess what? He was an alien after all! Luckily, for a while now, he has really struggled to close the deal in Race 3’s.

Niop: The man from UTAH who I remember surprisingly well for some Monaco race where he held up over half the field, methinks. Also the Jimmie Johnson of GTP NASCAR, with 3 consecutive championships. I wonder how bored people were getting of him. If he wasn't Jimmie Johnson-y enough, he has picked, yup, the number 48 for 14OCA. The car's color really doesn't seem to match the man he's trying to mimic, though.

OwensRacing: Became public laughing stock at the childfree thread. Aside from that, no real TOCA appearances (hopefully so, given the narcissistic attitude). A living Durex commercial.

Panoz: The man who consistently seems to drive cars with poor top end. Easy to take on the straightaways, but in corners he'll grab on to your butt like a steward on a series leader's butt.

Paulmac2k9: Jason Plato's GTP account. Known for complaining about everything yet having a point, but no one notices as he complains. Considered Dax Cobra's role model. Also a very quick test driver and tuner. Really kinda ruined his reputation at the end of S9 at Nürb with a stupid move. Has displayed a similar attitude to ILOSE a couple of times, which ain’t nice.

Penguin: Everyone's favorite animal in TOCA. Who doesn't love a friendly neighborhood penguin?!

Raceorama: Apparently a minor Monza troll. Unlike his counterpart (see slightly below) he tends to complete full campaigns though. Except 13OCA, where there constantly seems to be a variety of reasons for him not being around. :D

Ranhammer: The best lapped down car in the world. Sure he’s slow, but... something about him is... just too awesome.

Red: The new blue, as in the color that appears to be in fashion. Because it wouldn't be TOCA if half the cars in the field didn't look the same for bants.

RedPartyhat: DNQ'd one weekend, then won his first TOCA start, but it was at wet Monza so I don't know if anyone ever cared about it. He's more of a NASCAR type, yet can't understand why I like watching old NASCAR races (you know, before the artificialness). When he starts posting countryball comics in your direction, you know there'll never be an end to it. Ignorance doesn't help. I'm dead serious. :grumpy: Has replaced countryballs with other obscure content, such as anime. In Season 14, you can't miss that bald face on his car staring at you. Meanwhile the rear end of his car represents capitalism in all of its glory.

Reverse grids: ILOSE wants no reverse grids. ILOSE says they don't belong to professional series.

Roflwaffle: Guy who allegedly competed in the very first TOCA season (maybe even first ever race?) and is now about to make his second appearance... in 10CA. I don't know if I should label him as a rookie, veteran, or an odd mixture of both. :sly: Now a regular member of the Banter Club. Patience is a virtue, and Roflwaffle has chosen to live a virtue-free life.

Rolo: Official Monza troll. It's almost like he picks the car that fits wet weather best, and then cruises into a Monza victory because under Overlord Furi's rules, every weather change event MUST HAVE AT LEAST ONE, BUT MOSTLY TWO WET RACES.

RPM: Furi's own team, previously known as MRT (Season 3) and FTR (Season 4). They won the teams' championship under the MRT name, but after akmuq left them, TomBrooks replaced him afterwards. Considering Furi's reputation, the team might have been though to have had difficulties with getting another title, but signing defending champion Spurgy for Season 6 proved otherwise. Just 🤬 off, RPM. You need alien drivers to win championships, happy now? Thinking of it, almost everytime RPM have won a title, they 1) had an alien onboard, 2) had no other teams running full time so they were practically running for teams' title alone. Would've been funny if they still lost it. :lol: They went from RPM to FAS, but that doesn’t really change their reputation. Sadly, even I defected to drive for them as a backup – FOR SEVERAL WEEKS!

Scaniabebe: The man who dealt the Senna quote in the wrong place in the wrong time. Sorry, mate, I’m sure everyone in TOCA respects a more NASCAR-like approach to pack racing. Now he’s back? Well, I sure would like some improvement.It's a capital offence if tires have a slightly wrong rim size.

Smuffy: A champ from S8. Drove for RPM. Not sure if I should say anything else. :(

SnowCrash: Got a nasty start to his TOCA career when he joined my team only to be left on his own after I left as a *ahem* protest against changes such as excessive tire wear that only favored Spurgy. Probably best driver in the series thus far who hasn't won a title - along with Joe. Coincidentally, both have been relatively boring on and off track.

Spurgy: Hi alien. Three seasons in TOCA, three championships. I’ll take back what I said in the F1-King-GT section. Kicking out Spurgy was another senseful thing Furi did in his life. It really got nasty when he was about a second faster than everyone when tire wear got included in S6. Did I mention he's actually a 3-time champion too? Lesson learned, kids, that's what happens with aliens. :rolleyes: On second thought, he's the only one who really understands my sense of humor. And he has officially proved in front of everyone that IWIN is a coward. :lol: Although he’s still a sort of a coward himself too, and that’s gonna be hard to disprove.

Success ballast: What you get when you just utterly fail to spec yo’ cars.

Sumo: The Season 3 champion who hasn't been seen recently. Pretty much dominated the field that season, although there's a good excuse for that too - the BMW. Won on a one-off in ~shock~ a FWD Volvo in S5 at Spa, and decided to come back in ~shock~ a BMW for S6.

Sun: EVERYONE WORSHIP THE GIANT SUN! GT6 TAKES PLACE 5 BILLION YEARS IN THE FUTURE WHEN IT’S, LIKE, HUGE AND PROBABLY SLIGHTLY REDDISH!

Suzuki Swift: Note to Furi, a car that has much less HP stock than the TOCA machines doesn’t usually compete properly in the series. Just leave the Swift alone, it’s better in the one-make series. And now, in GT6, I might return as a full-time host! In addition, Swifts won’t have any of the dumb rules from TOCA, only the good sides of touring car racing. :D OK, so, I won't. Akmuq might. If he has time, with all his recent *cough* commitments.

SYM: To be fair, all I know about SYM is that after SnowCrash went somewhere, Yera grabbed Spurgy for one freaky reason or another, and the team went all downhill from there. :sly:

Tiebreaker: A word that Furi should learn. When two or more drivers are tied in points, the one with a better single race finish is put ahead. If it's the same, the quantity of those finishes decides it, and if they are the same too, the 2nd, 3rd etc. best finish decides the outcome. Now Furi made up a rule that the guy who finished higher In the previous event actually gets the higher position in case of a tie. WHAT THE LIVING HELL, MAY I ASK?!

Toad: Used as a nickname of old people in BST V8's. Made occasional attempts to invade TOCA, but they were mostly fruitless. Members include Toad Senior (Cunny), Toad Leader (Gedi) and Fisherman Who Should Stay Away From Neljack's Various Fish (JB).

TOCA Dog: Neljack's dog named Charlie. Likes to get Neljack's attention in the middle of a race. Also likely to get a promotion to Chief Steward due to his activeness. He’s getting rough as he physically assaulted Neljack with me witnessing the whole deal. Might be plotting his murder in secret so he can truly become a steward for all eternity. His younger brother Alfie also punched Neljack with his tail.

TOCA Ghost: Not much is known about him, but apparently he appeared during a testing session. According to Neljack, his name could be Johnny. We don't know how TOCA Ghost is associated with GTP_Johny, but if you feel you're being watched, be careful - it might be him.

TOCA Poet: Yeah, I’m not just the penguin anymore, but also the poet. Just look at the section below to see why. (It was an accidental rhyme, but point stands!) Apparently Fox has done poetry in the past as well. Now that’s what I’d call sweet.

Tom: Used to drive in TOCA but he took a vase to the knee! He’s also an avid interviewer and race commentator, which is why I can’t think of anything mildly insulting to say about him.

Trollvo: No, there’s no Volvo, just the Trollvo. A car that even I have once driven in MrMoody’s ITCC. In TOCA, it’s apparently been way too fast sometime in the past. (I made a rhyme again! That reminds me, I should add a section just above this one...)

Twissy: Another alien replacing Spurgy. Unfortunately he thought he was above the rules and decided to run ABS at 10. Whether it helps or not, he was outta here. This even created what became known as the “Twissy-gate” when some people jumped in his defence, such as DONK--- I mean MULE_9242, but Furi didn’t care. Not one little bit. In fact, Twissy even lost all his points from the season. Pity.

NOT.

VenoMMotorsports: DaxCobra's team that was once equipped by himself, akmuq, and a pair of ba... err, I mean Honda's. They have won many championships, including the TOCA title, but then Neljack was part of the team. After he received a better offer from DBC, akmuq was called in as replacement, but can the team return to success now? Answer turned out to be no due to Akmuq's internet having Leprechauns, Dax with no sponsor, but Dax decided to team up with Sumo for S6. What do you know, they weren’t really a threat due to Dax quitting. And now they’ve essentially folded.

VTEC: The biggest troll in TOCA history. Known for divebombing, ragequitting when he was accidentally hit off, and never winning a race properly. Got banned after the Tsukuba round in S3, where he mistook the other drivers as actors for the new film "The VTEC Tsukuba Massacre". The damage caused by him was so severe that he got sent off immediately and had to pay large sums to fix everyone's car and the damaged sections of the track as well.

VW: Too fast. And Now too slow.

Willow Springs: Can somebody tell me who decided to make that last corner the way it is now? Nobody blame me if you slam into the back of me there, it's impossible for me to go through it quickly. :rolleyes: Oh hey, it got scrapped from 13OCA. Considering that was the super-twisty version I vaguely remember from NFS: ProStreet, yeah, I guess it’s a good thing it got dropped. :P By the way, no lights either. Have fun navigating at night!

Yeratel: Won a championship and probably something else, or something. Likes to be compared to Keke Rosberg due to his morbid age.
Click to expand...
I got tired of reading right on F.
 
Yee haw!

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