Funny/Strange News Stories

[Joey D]

What in the hell were Canadian astronauts up to?

Canadian astronauts no longer free to rob and kill with abandon in space or on the moon

Amendment buried in 2022 federal budget bill extends Canadian criminal jurisdiction to the cosmos

nationalpost.com

 

[Famine]

What in the hell were Canadian astronauts up to?

Canadian astronauts no longer free to rob and kill with abandon in space or on the moon

Amendment buried in 2022 federal budget bill extends Canadian criminal jurisdiction to the cosmos

nationalpost.com

Honestly the strangest part in that whole piece is that Anne McClain was the first person ever to be accused of a crime in space... in 2019! Also, the accusation by her ex-wife of using an ISS computer to access her bank records, also outed her...

 

[Famine]

Madonna teams up with 3D artist "Beeple" to create videos of plants, butterflies, and mechanical centipedes coming out of her vagina (which was 3D laser scanned for the purpose) in order to sell NFTs.


I'll just give you a little time to read that one again before the link (which is SFW):

Madonna defends decision to sell an NFT model of her vagina after fan confusion

‘Not often that a robot centipede crawls out of my vagina,’ singer said

www.independent.co.uk

If you want to actually see the videos, they are here, they are EXTREMELY UNSAFE FOR WORK (or anyone with functioning eyes), and are of such dreadful quality they resemble a zoophile, post-apocalyptic pornography version of Money For Nothing.

Once again, NSFW:

Spoiler: Seriously, don't

Spoiler: They're absolutely grim

Spoiler: Can't you just imagine Madonna's vagina birthing robot centipedes instead of clicking?

Spoiler: Fine then, but NSFW NSFW for reasons of nudity and general taste NSFW

SuperRare | NFT Art | NFT Art Marketplace | Digital Art

SuperRare is the digital art market on Ethereum. Each artwork is authentically created by an artist in the network, and tokenized as a collectible digital item that you can own, display and trade.

superrare.com

 

[Touring Mars]

I think I'll keep my tokens fungible thank you very much.

 

[Famine]

I think I'll keep my tokens fungible thank you very much.

After seeing the centipede video, I may never funge again.

 

[Brett]

That was certainly something. I have no idea what that something was, but it certainly was something.

 

[Pupik]

Justify My Grub?

 

[Touring Mars]

It should appeal to any centipedophiles out there though

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

Well that's one way to grow a bush.

 

[dylansan]

...they resemble a zoophile, post-apocalyptic pornography version of Money For Nothing.

"I (don't) want my NFT" 🎵

 

[Blitz24]

Madonna teams up with 3D artist "Beeple" to create videos of plants, butterflies, and mechanical centipedes coming out of her vagina (which was 3D laser scanned for the purpose) in order to sell NFTs.


I'll just give you a little time to read that one again before the link (which is SFW):

Madonna defends decision to sell an NFT model of her vagina after fan confusion

‘Not often that a robot centipede crawls out of my vagina,’ singer said

www.independent.co.uk

If you want to actually see the videos, they are here, they are EXTREMELY UNSAFE FOR WORK (or anyone with functioning eyes), and are of such dreadful quality they resemble a zoophile, post-apocalyptic pornography version of Money For Nothing.

Once again, NSFW:

Spoiler: Seriously, don't

Spoiler: They're absolutely grim

Spoiler: Can't you just imagine Madonna's vagina birthing robot centipedes instead of clicking?

Spoiler: Fine then, but NSFW NSFW for reasons of nudity and general taste NSFW

SuperRare | NFT Art | NFT Art Marketplace | Digital Art

SuperRare is the digital art market on Ethereum. Each artwork is authentically created by an artist in the network, and tokenized as a collectible digital item that you can own, display and trade.

superrare.com

I feel like you led me on for this one. I still will resist the urge to click.

 

[Spacegoat]

Madonna teams up with 3D artist "Beeple" to create videos of plants, butterflies, and mechanical centipedes coming out of her vagina (which was 3D laser scanned for the purpose) in order to sell NFTs.

 

[TB]

Imagine walking into work on a regular old Wednesday and being told "Madonna's in room three, go scan her vag."

 

[TexRex]

That's enough to turn a straight man gay and a gay man into a puddle.

Imagine walking into work on a regular old Wednesday and being told "Madonna's in room three, go scan her vag."

If you get the file, you can 3D print it.

 

[TB]

If you get the file, you can 3D print it.

Or, and stick with me on this one, I could not.

 

[Blitz24]

Or, and stick with me on this one, I could not.

Well, not after you threw the printer at the screen you saw the image on.

 

[sirjim73]

Imagine walking into work on a regular old Wednesday and being told "Madonna's in room three, go scan her vag."

Might not be the first time Madonna has been a ****...

I guess the artist knows the answer to the theory behind Like A Virgin now 🤔

 

[UKMikey]

As we might say in the UK... Johnny Slash.

 

[sirjim73]

As we might say in the UK... Johnny Slash.

That's just taking the piss...!

 

[UKMikey]

At least now the town has its own streaming platform.

 

[Pupik]

This pay toilet only takes johnny cash.

 

[Joey D]

What a weird series of events:

Cyclist Biniam Girmay hospitalized after freak wine accident on podium

A boozy victory celebration at the Giro d’Italia race in Italy went terribly wrong after a cyclist took a high-flying champagne cork to the eye.

nypost.com

 

[sirjim73]

What a weird series of events:

Cyclist Biniam Girmay hospitalized after freak wine accident on podium

A boozy victory celebration at the Giro d’Italia race in Italy went terribly wrong after a cyclist took a high-flying champagne cork to the eye.

nypost.com

There's a drinking saying which hits too close to the mark on this one, so I won't put it here until I know he's ok.

 

[TexRex]

Lightning blows up toilet after traveling through apartment building’s exhaust vent

As if we didn’t feel vulnerable enough in the bathroom.

www.wate.com

 

[TexRex]

Someone Stole Seth Green's Bored Ape, Which Was Supposed To Star In His New Show

The actor has been pleading on Twitter with “DarkWing84,” who bought his ape from a scammer, to return it.

www.buzzfeednews.com

 

[sirjim73]

BBC apologises after 'Manchester United are rubbish' appears on screen

The message "Manchester United are rubbish" appeared on screen during a news broadcast on Tuesday.

www.bbc.co.uk

BBC Fact Check have checked the above claim and have confirmed it to be accurate

 

[UKMikey]

BBC apologises after 'Manchester United are rubbish' appears on screen

The message "Manchester United are rubbish" appeared on screen during a news broadcast on Tuesday.

www.bbc.co.uk

BBC Fact Check have checked the above claim and have confirmed it to be accurate

Just like the time they fact checked that Nicola Sturgeon is, in fact, a gorilla.

 

[Famine]

Somebody came up with this theory that time travel exists, and someone went back to 2016 in order to change a cataclysmic event but it caused a load of celebrities to die, so somebody else went back to fix the aftermath but that made even more celebrities die. Then someone else went back to fix the aftermath of that, and we got COVID, and so on...

... and now we're in a truly dark timeline where this:

Someone Stole Seth Green's Bored Ape, Which Was Supposed To Star In His New Show

The actor has been pleading on Twitter with “DarkWing84,” who bought his ape from a scammer, to return it.

www.buzzfeednews.com

... is just some normal thing and not a Lovecraftian nightmare assemblage of neologisms and concepts that should in no way be a ****ing NEWS article.

 

[Joey D]

Somebody came up with this theory that time travel exists, and someone went back to 2016 in order to change a cataclysmic event but it caused a load of celebrities to die, so somebody else went back to fix the aftermath but that made even more celebrities die. Then someone else went back to fix the aftermath of that, and we got COVID, and so on...

... and now we're in a truly dark timeline where this:

... is just some normal thing and not a Lovecraftian nightmare assemblage of neologisms and concepts that should in no way be a ****ing NEWS article.

Ya, they went back to 2016 and shot Harambe.

 

[UKMikey]

It's a Buzzfeed article. "For a given value of news" surely applies.