Funny/Strange News Stories

[ASH32]

This week on "Headlines generated by Cards Against Humanity":

Swimming pool evacuated after prosthetic leg mistaken for a paedophile...

Why did the teachers not think to look under the door first and see what it was? Also who's bright idea was it to take wet and maybe half dressed kids outside in the cold, very clever.

 

[Famine]

There was probably a paedo in the car park waiting for them.

PAEDOS EVERYWHERE!

 

[Slash]

Oregon man on meth fights off 12 cops while masturbating in a bar.

 

[Northstar]

There was probably a paedo in the car park waiting for them.

PAEDOS EVERYWHERE!

No, it was just a Fiat.

 

[niky]

Well, they got the "ped" part right...

 

[88FoxBodyFan]

Man stabbed with a ceramic squirrel, the reason why is also hilarious:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/cri...c-squirrel-failing-buy-beer-article-1.1560341

 

[Imari]

Oregon man on meth fights off 12 cops while masturbating in a bar.

I enjoy the image of a guy beating off 12 cops with one arm and beating off himself with the other.

 

[axletramp]

Go home Dion, you're drunk!

 

[Touring Mars]

Burger King recalls ice creams because lid offends a Muslim chap who thinks it looks like the Islamic symbol for Allah...

http://www.scotsman.com/news/uk/burger-king-recalls-sacrilegious-desserts-1-1096308

 

[Wiegert]

I get the feeling that story was jokingly brought up on an episode of HIGNFY 8 years ago. But I definitely remember hearing about it back then, as the article's from 2005.

Wonder how well that jihad on BK went.

 

[Touring Mars]

the article's from 2005.

Gah, I hate sites that list ancient stories along side brand new headlines! Oh well, maybe the guy has calmed down by now.

 

[TB]

Oh well, maybe the guy has calmed down by now.

I find ice cream quite relaxing.

 

[MrSulu]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-...-stepdad-denver-3003880#.Us7f-rE5BxQ.facebook

 

[SilverArrow]

Pensioner who tried to force woman into giving him oral sex for mowing lawn jailed...

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/southport-pensioner-who-tried-force-6489762?

 

[axletramp]

Holy Robot Apocalypse! It's started!!!

 

[Touring Mars]

Surely everything a fridge does is, by definition, quite cool...

 

[Furinkazen]

I... don't get this..

http://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/haribo-stops-selling-racist-sweets-173209515.html

 

[axletramp]

Oh, please. Lying nuns, what's the world coming to?

 

[Duke]

A guy in Philadelphia was just arrested because he liked to drive around with no pants on and Swiss cheese on his genitalia. Google it. Really.

 

[DK]

That brings a whole new meaning to "Philly cheese".

 

[Touring Mars]

That's emmental.

 

[Famine]

Police warn he may be dangerous, so you must approach him caerphilly.

 

[TB]

I'm more concerned with the fact that it fits in the tiny holes. Poor little guy.

 

[Northstar]

I guess this gives new meaning to Swiss Miss.

 

[dhandeh]

UKIP councillor blames storms and floods on gay marriage.

I hear he starts with the Daily Mail on Monday.

 

[PeterJB]

He should contact Shirley Phelps-Roper. I think they'd get on.

 

[DK]

The scary thing is, my Dad had a few supportive words about UKIP in August.

I thought their economic policies were Tea Party-ish, it turns out that their social policies weren't that far away.

 

[Liquid]

Police were called to control rowdy shoppers after a 50p sale at a 99p shop was cancelled at the last minute.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-east-wales-25823177

 

[nk4e]

Women changes her name to sexy

 

[Vic Reign93]

Women changes her name to sexy

Meh, could be worse.
Could've been Hashtag.