Funny/Strange News Stories

[Speedy Samurai]

A man who claims that he was molested by Bigfoot as a child was ordered to serve 20 years in prison yesterday for his own molestation-related activities.

It's a vicious cycle...

 

[V1P3R]

Fla. Teens Believe Drinking Bleach Will Prevent HIV, Some Teens Also Believe Mountain Dew Will Stop Pregnancy...

 

[V1P3R]

15-Year-Old Killed For Not Passing Game

 

[Holdenhsvgtsr]

15-Year-Old Killed For Not Passing Game

when the hell was someone getting murder by being shot in the head funny?!

 

[V1P3R]

Sorry, sick sense of humor... I don't know any 15 yr olds that play games with a friend and then if they don't do well "pull out a .32-caliber Smith and Wesson from his waistband and shot Baptiste in the head". lol

💡 What's that you got in ur pants or you happy to see me?

 

[livemusic]

Man hit five times by meteorites believes he's being targeted by aliens

Man 'targeted by aliens'

A Bosnian man whose home has been hit an incredible five times by meteorites believes he is being targeted by aliens.

Experts at Belgrade University have confirmed that all the rocks Radivoje Lajic has handed over were meteorites.

They are now investigating local magnetic fields to try and work out what makes the property so attractive to the heavenly bodies.

But Mr Lajic, who has had a steel girder reinforced roof put on the house he owns in the northern village of Gornja Lamovite, has an alternative explanation.

He said: "I am obviously being targeted by extraterrestrials. I don't know what I have done to annoy them but there is no other explanation that makes sense. The chance of being hit by a meteorite is so small that getting hit five times has to be deliberate."

The first meteorite fell on his house in November last year and since then a further four have smashed into his home. The strikes always happen when it is raining heavily, never when there are clear skies.

He said: "I did not know what the strange-looking stones were at first but I have since had them all confirmed as meteorites by experts at Belgrade University.

"I am being targeted by aliens. They are playing games with me. I don't know why they are doing this. When it rains I can't sleep for worrying about another strike."

 

[Slick Rick]

when the hell was someone getting murder by being shot in the head funny?!

Its NEVER funny and that news story shouldn't be on this thread V1P3R.

 

[Loon]

15-Year-Old Killed For Not Passing Game

when the hell was someone getting murder by being shot in the head funny?!

Sorry, sick sense of humor... I don't know any 15 yr olds that play games with a friend and then if they don't do well "pull out a .32-caliber Smith and Wesson from his waistband and shot Baptiste in the head". lol

💡 What's that you got in ur pants or you happy to see me?

Its NEVER funny and that news story shouldn't be on this thread V1P3R.

I imagine my post isn't going to go over too well, but I think I see the same humor in it that V1P3R does. I'll agree that anyone being killed isn't funny, but this happened over such a dumb subject it's laughable, for some at least.

 

[FoolKiller]

I imagine my post isn't going to go over too well, but I think I see the same humor in it that V1P3R does. I'll agree that anyone being killed isn't funny, but this happened over such a dumb subject it's laughable, for some at least.

I agree. By the rationale in here the Darwin Awards shouldn't be funny either, but we all laugh at those deaths.

 

[Danoff]

I agree. By the rationale in here the Darwin Awards shouldn't be funny either, but we all laugh at those deaths.

There is a distinction here. The Darwin Awards are self-inflicted... by stupidity. Here we have an innocent child being killed by an enraged maniac. The only thing that keeps this from being totally devoid of any perceptible humor is that it was over a video game. But it's still really sad that someone was killed over so little. It's like people getting killed for their shoes.

 

[Sureboss]

Drunk Darth Vader attacks Jedi

 

[Stevisiov]

at both parties involved.

 

[TB]

The court heard he has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.

What is the "best part" of a box of Franzia?

 

[FoolKiller]

They sell 10 liter boxes of wine? I mean, that's like a couple of gallons.

 

[daan]

What is the "best part" of a box of Franzia?

best part = most of.

 

[Famine]

What is the "best part" of a box of Franzia?

Apparently the first two glasses taste a bit funny, but it gets better after that.

 

[daan]

Apparently the first two glasses taste a bit funny, but it gets better after that.

Any alcoholic beverage tastes better after the first couple, apart from Buckie.

 

[TB]

best part = most of.

I know that was the intention, but I was trying to make a funny.

I failed.

 

[livemusic]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7374317.stm

Ronaldo in transvestite scandal
Brazilian AC Milan striker Ronaldo
The AC Milan footballer has been recovering after surgery in Brazil

Brazilian football star Ronaldo has been caught up in a sex scandal with three cross-dressing prostitutes.

Having dropped off his girlfriend at her house in Rio de Janeiro on Monday night, the 2002 World Cup winner picked up three prostitutes.

When they all booked into a motel, the AC Milan striker discovered that the prostitutes were in fact men.

According to Rio police, he alleges that the transvestites then tried to extort money from him.

Local press reports quoted one of the prostitutes, Andreia Albertine - otherwise known as Andre Luiz Ribeiro Albertino - as saying that Ronaldo had threatened to hit him, on discovering that he was a transvestite.

'Extortion'

Ronaldo "reported that Andreia had taken his car documents and demanded $30,000 [£15,000]", said Rio police superintendent Carlos Augusto Nogueira.

Transvestite André Luis Ribeiro Albertino, also known as Andreia Albertine
Albertino is accused of taking the footballer's documents

He added: "Ronaldo admits the facts. He said he just wanted to amuse himself, that's not a crime. To pay to have sexual relations isn't illegal.

"There's a strong chance that Ronaldo has been the victim of extortion."

When the footballer refused to pay the prostitute, the latter claimed that Ronaldo had taken drugs, and had threatened to hurt the three transvestites.

Under Brazilian law, while pimping sex workers and running establishments where sex is sold are illegal, prostitution itself is not.

In a statement Ronaldo is reported to have denied ever using drugs, and reiterated that he was a victim of extortion.

The three-time Fifa world footballer of the year is in Brazil recovering from knee surgery.

He told police he was having some psychological problems linked to his injury.

 

[V1P3R]

Any alcoholic beverage tastes better after the first couple, apart from Buckie.

Umm... add Makers Mark to that. xD

 

[Famine]

Teen wanted to die so he could kill Jesus.

Okay, not side-splitting, but you read that first paragraph and keep your jaw attached to your skull.

 

[Touring Mars]

Would make a cracking episode of Heaven Five-O: "One count Suicide, one count Christicide... Book 'em, Danno!"

 

[V1P3R]

LMAO! Jesus... good luck with that.

 

[Sureboss]

Teen wanted to die so he could kill Jesus.

Okay, not side-splitting, but you read that first paragraph and keep your jaw attached to your skull.

Yeh, but you just know that he'd be re-born!

 

[Holdenhsvgtsr]

http://www.visordown.com/motorcyclenews/view/caught_by_cops_at_the_137kph_on_his_arse/4590.html

 

[V1P3R]

Posted this way because of a certain pic on the link... xD

Naked Woman Picture Gains Popularity On Internet

March 21, 2008 | Issue 44•12

February 4, 2004

SAN FRANCISCO—According to leading web experts, a photo of an unidentified naked woman has caused an online sensation after appearing on the Internet sometime last week.

The inexplicably popular photograph, which features the woman exposing both breasts as well as providing an unobstructed view of her vagina, has been visited an estimated 750,000 times since it was first discovered two months ago.
Enlarge Image Naked Woman

The popularity of "Subject X," as the naked lady is known in academic circles, has baffled researchers.

"For some reason, people cannot seem to get enough of the naked woman picture," said Michael Vianna, a web analyst for Comstar Market Research who has been closely following the trend. "Though the image displays no discernible function or real-world application, it continues to enjoy immense popularity with Internet users. It is utterly perplexing."

Vianna, who closely examined the photograph over several days in an attempt to understand its appeal, said that the nude-lady photo falls completely outside typical uses for the Internet, like checking e-mail or accessing helpful information such as tax laws and driving directions. Even more unusual, the photo contains no information regarding the woman's acting or modeling career, her possible relevance to American history, or name.

"This image contains no encrypted data or practical content of any kind," Vianna said. "Even more baffling is that, in terms of web traffic, this seemingly pointless image has vastly surpassed websites as informative and indispensable as WebMD.com and Yahoo! News."

"If only she were wearing a T-shirt with some slogan on it or standing in front of a national monument, perhaps then we could begin to understand this enigmatic image," Vianna continued. "In the end, however, it is simply a picture of an unclothed female approximately 20 to 30 years of age posed with her breasts and vagina clearly visible."

According to Vianna's research, there are no significant patterns relating to the viewing behavior of those accessing the picture except that the majority of the traffic usually comes late at night. And, though web-usage reports indicate that the naked woman picture interests people of all ages, income brackets, and ethnic backgrounds, there is no evidence that the photo has ever been shared with viewers' family members or coworkers, or featured in a CNN.com photojournalism slide show.

"It appears as if every one of yesterday's 27,430 viewers accessed this specific portrait independently of one another, and may even have searched for it intentionally," Vianna said. "What could have driven them all to seek out this particular photo of an anonymous, undressed woman? We may never know."
Enlarge Image Measuring the X Factor

The unaccountable popularity of outwardly useless Internet content such as the naked woman picture is not unheard of. According to freelance web consultant Joseph Ziarko, these Internet "memes" are difficult to explain, as there are no factors to dictate why something as nonfunctional as a 6 x 9" digital capture of a well-endowed, tan-skinned woman lightly moistened by either sweat or beach water would interest so many people.

"No one really understands why these things catch on," Ziarko said. "Like the Hamster Dance website from a few years back or the recent interest in LOLCats, there is some intangible quality about this photo that thousands of otherwise-normal people find captivating. Maybe the fact that it is in such sharp focus."

Though interest in the photo currently remains high, Ziarko predicted that the Internet-using public will soon tire of the naked woman picture once the web is saturated with images from imitators attempting to duplicate its popularity.

"By next month, the Internet could be home to literally hundreds of pictures of naked women," Ziarko said. "There's simply no way the trend can sustain itself. People will very quickly get bored with the constant barrage of bare breasts and vaginas."

Many experts agree with Ziarko, but others in the field have suggested that the picture could spark a lucrative industry in which images of naked women are licensed to decorate promotional gas-station soda cups.

 

[Loon]

I don't understand the appeal to her, sure she's hot but there isn't any 'x' factor that hooks you or anything.

 

[TB]

Holy King Pr0n, Batman!

 

[V1P3R]

His superiors were alerted to the problem only when his computer became infected with a virus.

Should've warn a rubber, dOOd.

 

[Sureboss]

"For some reason, people cannot seem to get enough of the naked woman picture," said Michael Vianna, a web analyst for Comstar Market Research who has been closely following the trend. "Though the image displays no discernible function or real-world application, it continues to enjoy immense popularity with Internet users. It is utterly perplexing."

Vianna, who closely examined the photograph over several days in an attempt to understand its appeal, said that the nude-lady photo falls completely outside typical uses for the Internet, like checking e-mail or accessing helpful information such as tax laws and driving directions.

Michael Vianna is in touch with reality.

I'm in a giggle fit over that article.

The popularity of "Subject X," as the naked lady is known in academic circles, has baffled researchers.

Researchers? Academic circles?

"What could have driven them all to seek out this particular photo of an anonymous, undressed woman? We may never know."

Seriously?

People will very quickly get bored with the constant barrage of bare breasts and vaginas.

I've not laughed so hard, in such a long time.