Funny things RICErs say (radically immature car enthusiasts)

[SVT Cobra GT]

Had a friend at mine tonight and he's recently got into the JDM phase of car fan. Here's a small conversation we had.

Him: *sees my model Fiesta WRC car* Eugh. Ford. All American cars are crap
Me: well that's good. Seeing as that was developed by a British team called M-sport not too far from here.
Him: Pft. Yeah right.
(I proceeded to get out the leaflet I got from the tour of Dovenby hall and point out the address)
Him: yeah but they still get backing from Ford
Me: 2012 was the last year they did. Since then cars have ran the less cool Qatar liveries.
Him: Yeah, but it's still a ford. Much better if it was a Civic.
Me: Oh right... So you're really suggesting that the Civic would be better?
Him: Yeah
Me: you know, they wanted to run the Fiesta before S2000 changes over the Focus because it would have been a lot better on a rally stage.
Him: Yeah well a Civic Type-R would whoop this car on any surface.
Me: apart from dirt... Snow... And asphalt.
Him: No the civic will have 270bhp and could be tuned.
Me: also heavier, still with less power, mechanical grip and wouldn't soak the punishment as well on dirt or snow.
Him: Whatever.

(He then notices my box of model cars and sees a distinct lack of JDM cars, aside from a GT86)

Him: No skyline?
Me: I'd take an older Skyline. The Hakosoka.
Him: But the R35 can beat anything down the road and on track.
Me: Anything?
Him: Yeah!
Me: Red Bull Racing RB9.
Him: go to hell.

(I go to sort the steering wheel out and come back, go to my GT4 garage and notice my Zondas missing, along with my E-type and Caterham and a few other EU/US cars. Replaced with JDM products)

Me: Where the hell are my Zondas?!?
Him: Zondas are crap compared to Skylines.
Me: No. They really aren't. You sold MY ZONDAS on MY GT4 for cars YOU LIKE when I had 1.3 million Cr?!?
Him: You didn't need those Zondas. An R34 could beat it.

I got my backup memory card (praise The Lord) and got in my C12S 7.3. Let him tune a Skyline too. We lined up at Seca and I won the race.

He'd spurted some crap on how my car was so unrealistic. When it was a nearly exact replica of a Cinque in many areas and didn't want to play me any more. Ricer friends... Who needs 'em?

Why are you friends with him?

If that was me in your shoes I'd have been just as sarcastic and once he sold the Zondas for Skylines I'd have kicked him out.

 

[R5]

Why are you friends with him?

If that was me in your shoes I'd have been just as sarcastic and once he sold the Zondas for Skylines I'd have kicked him out.

He's a good guy, I just avoid racing games and cars. It wasn't as bad as it could have been

 

[JMoney]

A guy I know recently inherited a Buick Reatta after his Buick Century's engine blew. I was initially impressed. He then told me it had a Camaro engine in it. My friends and I later went to see it. He popped the hood, revealing the traverse 3.8L V6 the car had when it left the factory.

I mean, if he was making up a story, why didn't he just go on and say it had a Corvette engine?

 

[Gotbeefboy564]

 

[Slash]

A guy I know recently inherited a Buick Reatta after his Buick Century's engine blew. I was initially impressed. He then told me it had a Camaro engine in it. My friends and I later went to see it. He popped the hood, revealing the traverse 3.8L V6 the car had when it left the factory.

I mean, if he was making up a story, why didn't he just go on and say it had a Corvette engine?

He probably looked it up, at one point some Camaro's had 3.8L V6's, but they weren't Buicks.

If we was smart, he would have said the motor was a from a Commodore/Toronado/Caprice/Bonneville

 

[JMoney]

He probably looked it up, at one point some Camaro's had 3.8L V6's, but they weren't Buicks.

If we was smart, he would have said the motor was a from a Commodore/Toronado/Caprice/Bonneville

The engine actually says "Buick" on it, so he did make it up... I guess he expected people to believe him instead of looking at the engine.

 

[Slash]

 

[Grandea GTR]

Another idiot friend of mine was kept on trying to make me race him (heck no, why would I do that, I have an '02 Camry...), and eventually started trying to convince me that his Mazda RX-8 has an Inline-4 as well.

An Inline-4.

This thing? What...?
This thing has a 1.3L Wankel Rotary...

 

[Johnny1996]

I overheard my friend saying in school today that they got an old Corolla and cut the mufflers off, so now its "a racecar" because of how loud it is. And this is coming from someone that has an old Mercury Cougar and good knowledge about cars and auto mechanics.

 

[Slash]

Could be he's building a racer out of it.

 

[Johnny1996]

Could be he's building a racer out of it.

He's a muscle head. He even said he has no intentions of turning it into a racer. A ricer, however, he is building.

 

[Slash]

He's a muscle head. He even said he has no intentions of turning it into a racer. A ricer, however, he is building.

So cutting the muffler off makes it a racecar?

 

[Sage Ages]

Did he leave the cat and EGR intact?

 

[Johnny1996]

So cutting the muffler off makes it a racecar?

My exact thought right there.

I was actually about to jump in and go on a mini-rant, but the girl sitting next to me said otherwise without actually saying or doing anything, but just being there.

 

[Slash]

I wouldn't have even cared. I would have made a large dispute lol

 

[Johnny1996]

I wouldn't have even cared. I would have made a large dispute lol

As I'd expect from you.

 

[Slash]

As I'd expect from you.

Would you expect any less of me?

 

[Johnny1996]

Would you expect any less of me?

No, not really.

 

[JMoney]

I overheard my friend saying in school today that they got an old Corolla and cut the mufflers off, so now its "a racecar" because of how loud it is. And this is coming from someone that has an old Mercury Cougar and good knowledge about cars and auto mechanics.

Sounds to me like he's pulling your leg.

 

[R5]

Overheard this today

"Yeah the Clio Williams. I got one of those. Nice runner."
"Yeah of course you do. Oh, did I tell you I have Williams' new F1 car. Just it's at my dads yknow?"
"I'm serious. I'll show you the pictures"

I looked over to his screen to see a blue Clio with... Black rims.

I chipped in with "Black rims?"
"Yeah. I didn't like the gold ones."
"I take it you didn't like the engine as it says 1.1 on the engine cover."
"Shut up!"

I have another friend who rolled his car (a 1.0 litre crapbox) on a country road because "He swerved to avoid a car coming the other way"

What was he payed out? Nothing. He went down a one way road... Not a ricer story but still funny

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

So, in my neighborhood, there's an RX-8. It is blacked out, except for shark teeth on the front bumper near the radiator (no, no intercooler.)

In March, I saw him in a ditch with only two wheels on his car, because of a small sinkhole. And I do mean small.

The guy didn't tighten his fancy rims on correctly, so I know he's not the brightest.

But, yesterday, on my way to college, he saw my normally aspirated Impress and rev'd the heck out of his RX-8.

I'm not sure whether he thinks I want to race, or whether he wants me to know that the crapcan he drives is still on the road, despite his.... Shortcomings of the logical type.

 

[ildd]

I have no clue as to why he did that. This is coming from a guy who thinks Toyota is American.

I know someone who thinks Subarus are German.
Notice I didn't use friend

 

[Azuremen]

Another idiot friend of mine was kept on trying to make me race him (heck no, why would I do that, I have an '02 Camry...), and eventually started trying to convince me that his Mazda RX-8 has an Inline-4 as well.

An Inline-4.

This thing? What...?
This thing has a 1.3L Wankel Rotary...

Most turbo 4 cylinders would be a huge upgrade in the RX-8 though, seeing how a Mazdaspeed3 can trash one around a track on a decent day.

 

[ildd]

Most turbo 4 cylinders would be a huge upgrade in the RX-8 though, seeing how a Mazdaspeed3 can trash one around a track on a decent day.

Throw a 3rd rotary in it

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

Most turbo 4 cylinders would be a huge upgrade in the RX-8 though, seeing how a Mazdaspeed3 can trash one around a track on a decent day.

Not that that is relevant to someone mistakenly believing that the 4 cylinder is OEM.

 

[Azuremen]

Not that that is relevant to someone mistakenly believing that the 4 cylinder is OEM.

Captain obvious is at it again, folks.

 

[Sixflags48]

May not be the V6, but the 4 is faster 'cause it saves weight.

 

[White & Nerdy]

Just keep it in the Premium forum, OK? He had a good point, what you said was irrelevant.

 

[Azuremen]

Just keep it in the Premium forum, OK? He had a good point, what you said was irrelevant.

Last I checked, you're neither a mod nor posting on topic. Which he didn't do either. And I posted a jab at the RX-8, which is far more on topic than either you.

So, please, stop trying.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

I know. But, it's irrelevant to someone claiming that it's a 4 cylinder.


The thread isn't called the "we dislike cars thread." We don't dislike cars of any kind. We just want to discuss people who can't get their facts straight in a humourous manner. Here I thought you would love something like this.