Anecdotal of course but most people I see dismissing Sims is because they find them dull and boring, not because they expect them to be difficult. They want arcade experiences for the flashy excitement, not for the easier handling model.
I've even seen people dismiss Driveclub for that reason and that is obviously far from simulation 'hard' physics. They just perceive realistic track racing as boring, they want lasers, explosions, crashes, flips and so on.
I've seen it too, even at game stores. I can't remember which racing game I was pre-ordering, but the the sales person was surprised I wanted a "realistic" game. He said he didn't understand the appeal, he much preferred more "fun" stuff, and found a lot of people buying into the genre were the same these days.
As you said earlier though, it's anecdotal. But I'm sure plenty have noticed it. For a lot of folks, gaming is escapism: they want spectacle. Some people will never understand why some of us really want to take the digital recreation of our boring everyday car around a big forest circuit in Germany, the same way some don't get the appeal in the real world either.
I have to disagree with that. Marketing could have helped to a degree but as you stated later, Sims are considered boring to many players out there. Boring, in my eyes, is the 800 lb gorilla in the room that no one really wants to talk about.
I agree that marketing would've helped a bit, but it also could've been more bad than good, considering how poorly the console version of AC has gone over in comparison to the PC one. Unless you're a hardcore sim racer with a full wheel setup that exclusively likes hotlapping, it doesn't offer much... and if you are one of those people, you probably already have a PC, and the superior version of the game.
AC isn't boring because of the physics; it's boring because there's very little on offer in terms of gameplay other than the straight-forward car-on-track.
I really hope someone comes along and creates lightning in the bottle with the sim style games like the original Gran Turismo did years ago. I am not sure how, but maybe doing something like the NBA2K series of games is the answer. I really want to see games like GT dominating the sales charts.
I'm pretty sure that bell can't be un-rung. This is all just my opinion of course, but I don't think we'll ever see a resurgence in sim-style racing game popularity to the levels older GT games enjoyed. It's just not where the gaming landscape is heading. The original GT hit a sweet spot: it was approachable
and in-depth, satisfying both the casuals and the hardcore. The wide car list and tuning options were great, but they didn't alienate people who didn't understand the finer points. Joe Gamer could build a 900hp GTO and even without going into the tuning menu, it would be reasonably competitive.
The sim-style games have become too complicated for a lot of folks, compounded by the tuning menus largely being user unfriendly. Sure, one could argue people could just Google what half of the terms mean, but that's not a viable alternative to explaining each aspect in-game.
What makes matters worse is when games become nigh-on unplayable without a wheel; it may earn them some kudos with the wheel-only elitists, but the majority of players won't own them, and that's a big base to alienate. PCARS and AC both are guilty of this to a degree; GT's fastest players tend to be wheel users but with only a slight advantage, while Forza games typically favour controller users.
I think I've relayed the story of getting my girlfriend around the TGTT in both GT5 and FM4 before — maybe even to you! — but the big difference that made it possible (and even enjoyable) for her in FM4 was the full pack of assists available. She started with just about everything on, and slowly weaned herself off most of them (ABS stayed on, because that's what she's used to in the real world).
Personally, I love the continued striving for more and more realism in terms of physics engines. If a game purports to being a "simulator", reality should always be the goal. But, there's nothing stopping devs from making these complex physics engines more approachable for players of all skill levels. The key is the assists on offer, but IMO, they need to teach players about the actual physics, not modify them with aspects that don't make sense (looking at you, SRF).
On the other hand, I also welcome games that don't try to be the last word in realism. If every game is the same, the genre becomes stale. Horizon 3,
like I said in my review (shameless plug), is a breath of fresh air because I'm
not always worrying about my damper settings or grip levels out of Turn 6 at [insert world-renowned circuit]. Games like Horizon, or the Crew, or Driveclub, can act as gateways to get people into the more sim-leaning titles. That's a good thing.
What about the NBA2K games should be emulated? Genuine question, since I'm not too familiar with them (only own 2K11 and 2K12, haven't played them more than once yet).