GTP Cool Wall: 1990-1995 Alfa Romeo 33 Sportwagon

[White & Nerdy]

1990-1995 Alfa Romeo 33 Sportwagon---ziopaperone

Stats:
Production: 1990-1995
Style: 5-door wagon
Engine: 72 ci/1,186 cc naturally aspirated OHC? flat-4 (76 HP/70 lb-ft), 82 ci/1,351 cc naturally aspirated OHC? flat-4 (84-89 HP/80-90 lb-ft), 91 ci/1,490 cc naturally aspirated OHC? flat-4 (94-103 HP/92-93 lb-ft), 105 ci/1,712 cc naturally aspirated OHC? flat-4 (106-109 HP/110-113 lb-ft), 105 ci/1,712 cc naturally aspirated DOHC flat-4 (127-135 HP/111-119 lb-ft), 109 ci/1,779 cc turbocharged OHV diesel inline-3 (83 HP/131 lb-ft)
Transmission: 5-speed manual
Layout: Front-engine, Front-drive/All-wheel-drive
Related: Alfa Romeo Alfasud, Alfa Romeo Sprint​

 

[Zenith]

Top Gear says you can't be a car person unless you own an Alfa Romeo so I bought a 3 cylinder diesel wagon! Looks like I'm a car person and you're not!

Uncool.

 

[Cano]

Oddball station wagon. Insta-awesome.

 

[Joel]

I like wagons. I like Alfas. I don't like this one.

Uncool.

 

[Slash]

Boring and overall uninteresting wagon. I don't like that body style either. No redeeming qualities, just another eyesore in my opinion. Seriously uncool.

 

[Mikeybc]

Front end almost makes it look sad, and for good reason...it's uncool.

 

[Roger the Horse]

A true supervillain car.

 

[homeforsummer]

Generally, Alfa Romeos are cool.

But sadly, this one isn't. It has some nice attributes, but in the UK at least it currently sits in that nasty limbo between being a healthy used car and being a classic. What that means is that you very rarely see a good one, and the lack of classic status means that even if you do have a nice one, many will assume it's just an old banger that you're driving around because you're a cheap-ass.

I.e, I'm using the same criteria I used for the Citroen BX.

The other unfortunate aspect is that the 33 was never actually that good, unlike the BX.

Anyway, went for plain-Jane uncool.

 

[SVT Cobra GT]

Gains points for being an Alfa Romeo but loses them for not looking or being very interesting. Meh.

 

[Aquarelle]

Love wagons, love Alfas - so you'd expect a combination of those two loves would be like mixing Ice Cream with peaches.

This is more like getting sawdust in my bowl. Seriously uncool.

 

[Sage Ages]

To the Mehmobile!

 

[MatskiMonk]

Alfa × Ugly × Small engine FWD Estate car = Uncool³

 

[GranTurismo916]

Meh, almost uncool. It's just so bland. F4 option saves it.

 

[Scaff]

Why was the 33 Cloverleaf hatch not the nomination?

That's cool (but I'm biased as I had one), this is just meh.

 

[Sage Ages]

Why was the 33 Cloverleaf hatch not the nomination?

That's cool (but I'm biased as I had one), this is just meh.

The hatch is ALOT better. This just looks like a generic wagon.

 

[LMSCorvetteGT2]

I love Alfa, but never liked what I always equated to a volvo wagon with an Alfa front...for me it is seriously uncool luckily it has an Alfa badge to save it and bring it back to uncool.

 

[Dennisch]

Cool.

Flat-4. Great sound. Proper looks. Much wow.And they drive pretty good. Not great, but good.


And. I was >< this close to having this as a first car. In dark green. >< that close.

 

[Joey D]

This seems like something Top Gear and Jalopnik would fawn over, that alone makes it uncool despite being an Alfa.

 

[Stotty]

Not one of Alfa's best.

Usual Alfa faults, not off set by decent styling or by being nice to drive.

Uncool.

 

[Wiegert]

I like wagons. I like Alfas. I don't like this one.

Uncool.

Pretty much. I'd even say the hatch was cooler too - given how bland the wagon turned out - though that would just about get a Meh vote anyway.

It is still cooler than its predecessor (Alfasud), but much less so than its successor (145). And you only have to look further up the the range to find the cool Alfas of the late 80's/early 90's (164? Molto bello).

 

[AudiMan2011]

Normal Alfas are generally uncool and this is no exception.

Uncool.

 

[Adamgp]

Seriously Uncool for reasons already listed.

 

[niky]

Never really liked the square Alfas. Don't hate them enough to give them an uncool, though.

 

[JMoney]

It has no power, but it looks great and it's Italian. Cool.

 

[Grayfox]

This is not a car, it is an alfa romeo.
It is below the level of a car.

Hyper car
Super car
Sports Car
Car
Alfa Romeo

 

[Gotbeefboy564]

Cool cause it's a Alfa and it's one I've never heard of.

 

[ziopaperone]

And. I was >< this close to having this as a first car. In dark green. >< that close.

It's funny, because:
a)My dad had a dark green 1.3;
b)I was the reason he got it (as he had an Alfetta GTV* when I was born, and our other car was a Fiat Uno, rather impractical for longer trips);
c)It is, in a certain sense, my first car. When I was five or six, I used to sit on his lap and steer while parking it in our garage.

Due to these reason I feel so bonded to that car that I can't rate it (as there is no option below sub-zero), but I will respect any verdict that comes from this poll.


*which I'll probably name next

 

[Azure Flare]

An Italian car that doesn't speak to me.

Meh.

 

[Dennisch]

An Italian car that doesn't speak to me.

Meh.

When you find one that does speak to you, let us know.

We'll help you.

 

[Azure Flare]

That's not what I meant. I meant that it doesn't really have any redeeming qualities and nothing about it persuades me to say it's cool or uncool.