Jokes!!

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Q- How did an entire squad of black guys get killed during WW2?

A- When their sergeant yelled "get down", they all started dancing.
 
Here's one you can tell when you are amongst girls:

Q: Man hits a woman with his car, who is to blame?

A: The man! What was he doing driving around in the kitchen?
 
The best thing of New Year is being surrounded by good people!
(Generalfeldmarschall Paulus, Stalingrad, Winter 1942/43).
Bundesarchiv_Bild_183-B24575%2C_Friedrich_Paulus.jpg
 
15 things to do at Wal-Mart to kill time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
 
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A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priest. He says , I'm Jesus Christ" The first priest says, "No, son, your not." The drunk turns to the other priest. "I'm Jesus Christ." The second priest replies, "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says, " Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priest. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're back again already?"
 
A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."
 
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LeadFootLiam
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
140123_Justin_Bieber_Arrest_xx_4.jpg
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Bieber is a joke by himself.
 
Happy Valentine's Day baby.

I love you like



































Like a Hobbit loves second breakfast.



Jerome
 
What's the similarity between girls and atoms?

After a certain amount of periods, none of them want to have anything to do with anyone.
 

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