If you're interested, check out the Virtual Aerobatics server. It's online 24/7 but restarts frequently so it's not weird you get a disconnect. Refresh server list a couple of times and it should show again. It has good ping and it should show up in the top of the list. Search for a couple of F(ighter)'s on the map (F10). If they're close together high chance that is a formation flight. Don't hesitate to join that group, that really helped me getting mad skillz. Otherwise some people are always flying around Sochi (where you spawn). Watch out with take off for others on the other side of the runway, happened me some times.
Surprise Or search for K, that's a tanker. I thought they were named Shell and Texaco. When nearby, use the \ key to pop up a window on the top right, use one of the F keys to make your choice. I thought tanker was F6, then select pre contact. If you watch the tanker you should see the contact lights go on and the boom come out. Then right ctrl + R (not 100% sure) to open your fuel cap. You might want to check how the autopilot works, specially altitude. Makes it easier. Expect tanker going around 200 knots.
Attaching payload should be done with engines off obviously, then hit \. Then F8 for ground crew and then F1. Right click on an empty square. In the virtual aerobatics server only smoke pods are available.