Slash's Mopar Van: End of the Road

[Aquarelle]

Think of it as extreme pogo.

 

[Slash]

And if it fails and the spring gets shot out, I bet you're going to take one look at it and say "well 🤬" and watch as falls back to Earth and probably put a small hole in the ground.

You read me too well. At that point, I'll be in the market for a Mustang, similar to that one I ended up passing up in the infield

 

[Azure Flare]

Could be worse, I passed up an E46 M3.

 

[Slash]

Could be worse, I passed up an E46 M3.

 

[Azure Flare]

Only because of a lack of money.

 

[Sage Ages]

Could be worse, I passed up an E46 M3.

Good for you.

 

[Slash]

Only because of a lack of money.

Ah, yes I know the feeling. I had to do that before with a mint 1976 Mach 1 that I could have had a smokin' deal on. The car was a southern car, mint as hell (only a quarter size rust hole in the passenger floor), 2 hoods (one stock, other had a Thunderbolt scoop on it), passenger door and a swapped in either 302 or 351W (he pulled the V6) for $2k.

I hate myself.

 

[Harry6784]

Only because of a lack of money.

 

[Slash]

 

[ildd]

He has a boat too

 

[Slash]

He has a boat too

It's people like that that make me want to do something really stupid with this thing.

I really need to get some custom decals made up or something. It would be hilarious to see this thing rolling down the road with a big "MOPAR" sticker on the side

 

[Azure Flare]

HEMI badges are all you really need.

 

[Slash]

HEMI badges are all you really need.

But that would be lieing, wouldn't it. I'm not like Zuel

Though I really want to paint the valve covers hemi orange, the fuel rails and intake

I really should put HEMI badges on it for the lulz though, just to be that guy

Or those cheap stick on "vents"


Though in all seriousness I might see if I can find some "3.3L" badges to stick on the fenders. Just to raise sex appeal.

 

[CAMAROBOY69]

Wow now that is hilarious. Reminds me EXACTLY of my place, especially right now. I currently have a Dodge Viper with 650hp, 69 Camaro, and 04 WRX sitting in the driveway with my TINY house. The viper is my neighbors sons car but that pic is still...

@Slash
Nice to see you are working on that strut brace right away. Should be an easy fix.

 

[Slash]

@Slash
Nice to see you are working on that strut brace right away. Should be an easy fix.

I'm not sure when we'll get around to putting it on, I'd do it myself but I'm not that great with a welder right now (not that I can't weld but need more practice). But yes I am doing things rather quick. I put a new belt and alternator on it not too long ago as well. It's not leaving my driveway until that tower gets fixed. That's too big of a hazard for me.

 

[JMoney]

Here is how I would go about making a minivan cool for less than $100. I know a guy with a Sienna who is doing something similar.

Step 1: Tear out the seats. All of them, including the driver's.
Step 1a: Get a cheap, plastic yard chair from Wal-Mart.
Step 1b: Paint the chair black.
Step 1c: Screw that yard chair into the floor of your minivan in front of the steering wheel, cutting the legs down to size if necessary.
Step 2: Tear out the glove box, console, and any other storage unit that can be removed.
Step 2a: Buy various tuberware containers with hinging lids from Wal-Mart.
Step 2b: Replace the removed storage with the tuberware.
Step 3: Buy and install black taillight lenses.
Step 4: Buy an install cheap foglights (like mine) on the front bumper and roof.
Step 5: Buy and install mudflaps.
Step 6: Remove all badges and stickers on the outside of the vehicle.
Step 6a: Buy and install personalized badges (like "Slashvan").

Do NOT attempt these modifications on ANY other type of car. Only this level of ridiculousness can possibly prove you are not a soccer mom.

 

[Azure Flare]

Or, you can get engine goodies and make it faster...

 

[JMoney]

Or, you can get engine goodies and make it faster...

That would make it better, but it still looks like a soccer mom's minivan. Plus, engine parts are expensive.

 

[Azure Flare]

It would put in sleeper status, with some "Did you see that minivan go?".

 

[Slash]

Your argument is invalid.

 

[Sage Ages]

Or, you can get engine goodies and make it faster...

or remove the seats, radio, etc. Tear the hubcaps off as well. Poor man's race car. (van?)

 

[Slash]

or remove the seats, radio, etc. Tear the hubcaps off as well. Poor man's race car. (van?)

I've got a 5 lug pattern. I should stick some old school Mopar 14's on it.

 

[Sage Ages]

Rusty-ass generic steelies are cheaper.

 

[Slash]

Rusty-ass generic steelies are cheaper.

It already has those

 

[Slash]

Damn, bolt patterns almost damn near match up, but not quite.

That saddens me. I wanted to be that guy who shows up at the drag strip in a Dodge caravan with Mopar rallye wheels on it


I'll have to keep looking.

 

[JMoney]

Damn, bolt patterns almost damn near match up, but not quite.

That saddens me. I wanted to be that guy who shows up at the drag strip in a Dodge caravan with Mopar rallye wheels on it


I'll have to keep looking.

Is there any safe way you could somehow change the bolt locations on the existing wheel? I'm obviously not an engineer.

 

[Slash]

Is there any safe way you could somehow change the bolt locations on the existing wheel? I'm obviously not an engineer.

Yeah, I would have to get special adapters. But for 2 pairs, it costs almost $200.

That's still cheaper than changing out the wheel hubs which would be a pain in the ass on this thing.

The adapters look like stainless steel, but I'm not sure how they would perform on the occasional track day.

_________

EDIT::

Nevermind, the bolt patterns do match up. Now the question is, do I want 14's or 15's. It has 15s on it now.

 

[ildd]

Get those 15x10's I showed you, slap some big ol spacers on and get 285/65/15 tires.

 

[Slash]

16x10s are too wide. There would be rubbing in the front.


285s would be hilarious to look at on this though

 

[Cano]

Incredibly, I love your idea of the Mopar Rallys.

Also lol man van.