Whatever else you think of it, the Bugatti is certainly a first-rate engineering job, just because they've made it work at all having had those starting points - a body shape, that power figure, that top speed. So it must have its place in history. But an owner or driver can only judge it when they know what it wants to be as a car: what's it for? And I'm not sure about that at all. It's not trying to be the ultimate driver's car. Only the ultimate machine.
My heart really goes out to the Bugatti engineers, in a way I wouldn't have understood at all if we hadn't done the McMerc SLR. With the McLaren F1, there were really only seven of us full-time engineers - we had complete freedom and focus, and I set targets and we saw them through. Starting with the weight and weight distribution, because weight affects everything dynamically - acceleration, braking, cornering, steering, ride. Then there was the package, and the aerodynamics. Then you do the body design taking into account those targets. The SLR was the same as the Veyron in that it was done completely the other way round. The styling was done as a show car, and the next step was 'Make that.' So you have to do all the packaging, aerodynamics and weight distribution after you have the body shape. With the Bugatti it was more difficult again, because they had two other arbitrary figures to meet - 1,001bhp and 400kmh. So they needed 70 engineers and another 70 quality control people, just sorting out things as they went along, finding solutions to problems they would never have had if they'd started from the right point. And it's not a bad car, not at all. I find it very hard to knock it.
Besides, if it turns the tide, finally puts an end to this mad concentration on power figures and top speed, well that's a good thing. Yes, the McLaren F1 had a high top speed, but honestly we never once considered top speed as one of its development targets, because you just can't use that sort of top speed.
Even so, I'm not sure how advanced it is. In aerodynamics, it's no further ahead of the F1, which has the automatic air brake but also automatic brake cooling and fan assisted boundary layer control. In body structure it's behind the F1 and the SLR in that it's a hybrid construction using carbon for the primary structure only, whereas they are all-carbon. But the engine and transmission are excellent. The Bugatti's transmission and clutches work really well, even though personally I'd prefer a clutch and gearlever because I like to be involved. But the main advance since the F1 is in driver aids. The ESP system lets you get on with chucking the car about. I reckon only five per cent of drivers could use all the power of the F1, whereas 90 per cent could use the power of the SLR, and it's the same here.
That's not enough to make it a truly usable supercar, though. Which brings me back to the question of what the Veyron really is for. What's its point? I have a checklist of essentials for genuine real-world use. A Ferrari F430 meets most of them, and so does the SLR. But the Bugatti? Very few.
Item one is size - especially perceived width and a feeling you know where the extremities are. The Veyron looks small from the outside but from the inside it feels so big, so wide and intimidating to drive. Item two on the list is ergonomics. It's mostly alright here. You can adjust the wheel and seat nicely. But I couldn't read the secondary instruments. And there's a huge pedal offset, which was actually quite uncomfortable after an hour's drive.
Item three is drivability, and how easy the powertrain is to use in traffic and so on. It's really good, except for the turbo lag. Next up: ride and handling. The Bugatti Veyron has easy handling and an excellent primary ride - the way it absorbs bumps and crests, the body control. But the secondary ride - the harshness over small sharp bumps, the road roar and tyre slap - are not very good. And that's really tiring over a long journey. It's very hard to fix with all that unsprung weight - the massive tyres, the driveshafts, the hydraulic variable-height struts and so on. And the tyre sidewalls are very shallow.
Next on my real-world list is luggage, both for the stuff you need to carry with you in the cabin, and bootspace - there's space for a briefcase only. Straight on, then, to number six, visibility. The screen pillars can sometimes obscure an entire oncoming car around a bend, and rear three-quarter vision is zero, even though there's actually good rearward visibility using the mirrors. Which impacts on the last item, parking. You'd need someone to wave you in.
Overall a pretty poor total. So it's just not a real-world car in my view. Bringing me back to the question, what is it for?
The real disappointment is that it doesn't feel very quick in a normal road-driving situation. Oh, once you're going there's loads of torque, then power and the acceleration that goes with it, but there's turbo lag and far too much rotating mass. I have a test for this. Put a car in third gear, 3000rpm steady speed. In a McLaren F1 or a Zonda, it will throw the passenger's skull against the headrest. In the Bugatti you count 1-2-3 then you go. On the road, that means you decide to overtake two or three cars and you wonder where the acceleration is - then it comes and - woaah - you've arrived at the next corner far too fast.
But they have done some amazing things with it. One really good thing, and I simply never expected this, is that it does change direction. It hardly feels its weight. Driving it on a circuit I expected a sack of cement, but you can really throw it at the tight chicanes. The steering weights up a bit in corners too, which is good. It's not ponderous at all and there's loads of grip, even in mountain hairpins. The polar moment must be pretty low.
The braking is phenomenal. Anyone can make a car stop quickly, but the stability under brakes is excellent too. I did a hands-off stop from 170mph and it pulled up dead straight. And the primary ride and body control are pretty impressive too. It also feels really solid - the carbon tub obviously gives the car exceptional torsional stiffness.
Bugatti kept telling us it's not a track car but a road car. But in the end I enjoyed it more on the track than in the mountains. I'd have bet anything beforehand on it being the other way around. It's spoiled on the road by the width and the turbo lag. On the track the chuckability, the steering and braking really shine. So if I had one that's all I'd do with it - take mates to the track and give them rides, show them what 1,001bhp feels like when the turbos get going, and what the brakes are like. It's brilliant at that.
Which leaves me even more confused about where it fits in the supercar landscape. It's a huge achievement for the management and engineering teams to have gone from that starting point and to then produce a very well resolved and drivable car. One place it does work is as a showcase for the VW Group's engineering expertise. I'd love to get the job of doing a proper lightweight one. I would take all the turbos off for a start.