Preamble:
The alarm goes off at 5:30 am. I look out the window.... overcast, can't see the water. I pick up my mobil device and refresh my Surfline tab. Tide is high, OB looks good, wind is staying down all day. Meh, I'll go out this afternoon. Plus, my bed feels a lot better right now.
8:00am sharp, phone rings.
"Is this Andrew J***ey?"
- "yes"
"just confirming your delivery for your Binford Tools Mega Box 5000 for today"
- "yep....What time is the delivery window?"
"between 10am and 5pm"
- "perfect"
30 minutes later, I kiss the lovely lady as she walks out the door to start her day. I brew another cup o' Joe, and bring my rig into the living room while the Keurig is heating up. I've gotten pretty good at this, I can now get my rig set up and the game running in 5 minutes. I grab my cup of coffee (donut shop blend with a healthy dollop of heavy whipping cream), go over to the couch and lace up my 'Amazon special' racing shoes. I log onto my Euro account and see what time the first Commie slot starts. 9am 'good-guys' time. I haven't ran the slophy on this track in ages, so I do about 10 minutes of hot lapping with both the mediums and softs to get my braking points down. My fast lap is a 1:37.3. Not bad, that should be good for a top 5 qually in a B/S room. Locked and loaded, fighter pilot mentality engaged.... I'm ready to shred.
Slot 1, door 8, Qualified - N/A
From what I can tell, most guys pick their manufacturers based more on how good the Gr.3 car is. Unless the group 4 car is absolutely atrocious, they'll just make do with whatever Gr.4 car the brand has, and hedge their bets come GR.3 time. I look at the lobby and see a bunch of the usual FIA suspects. A lot of scirocco's, even more RCZ's, a plethora of TT's, F-Type's abound, two corvette's, a mustang, a viper, 2 or 3 Porsche's, one WRX..... basically all the safe bets. As I look up and down the lineup as the practice session is loading up, I quickly notice I'm the only dummy that's signed a contract with Renault. And its no surprise really. The Slophy, can't get out of its own way down a straight any longer than a football field, and the Gr.3 car blows. But here I am, marooned on my lonely SS Minnow, ready to go to battle.
Qualifying starts and my nerves get the best of me lap 1. I'm making mistakes aplenty, on perfect pace to clock a 1:43 lap. I completely barney it on the exit of turn 10 -
Bico De Pato (feel free to refer to the handy track map I've provided below), and spin off into oblivion. I glance at the clock and decide I have enough time to exit the session and go again. As I'm pouring the coals to my Slophy down the home stretch, the clock runs out just before I get to the line. No qually for me 🤣.
So there I am, P-20, with nowhere to go but up. I peruse all the qually times throughout the field and realize a mediocre 1:38.5 would have landed me south of 10th place. Shortly after the FIA introduction concludes, the green flag flies and were off.
.....What happens over the course of the next 25 or so minutes, I'm not so proud of. It involved a lot of pushing and shoving (on my part) as I bullied my way through the pack. Yet, for every 2 places I gained, I would lose them as I clicked off (1/2 second and 1 second) track limits penalties like a metronome. By lap 10, I had my sticky shoes on and I was up to P-9. But karma is a bitch, and in all honesty, I deserved exactly what was about to come my way. There was also one other no-qually guy that followed me up through the pack (after I barged through him on the first corner of course), he must've had a front row seat to my antics for the first half of the race...... because as soon as he got within firing range, he sent me flying at
Descida do Lago. He was justified in his actions. After my reset, I had the back of the pack on me like white on rice. And one by one, lap after lap, each ensuing racer took their shot at me. By lap 18, I'm all spun off in the grass trying frantically to get back on course, but going nowhere because TCS is set to zero (we've all been there) . I cross the line DFL by a long shot. I chickened out on the post race banter and GTFO as soon as I could 😆.
As promised, here is the track map for anyone (probably all of us), who aren't familiar with all the Interlagos turn names
I miss the second slot because I realized just as I chickened out of the post race banter, that I had a Chiro appt.
Slot 3, door 9, qualified 5th
I needed redemption from the first race. Miraculously, I was still able to hang onto my SR-S rating, so I once again was going to get placed in a 25,000+ B/S room. I did my best to not let my nerves get to me this qualifying session, and it somewhat worked. My first flying lap was 1:37.9, while getting held up a tad in the infield. My second lap was a better after still getting hung up in the midfield, but at least the TT that was holding me up gave me a tow in the beginning of the home straight before he left me in the dust for my last flying lap. I clocked a 1:37.6.... I'll take it. Looking through the qualifying results, the top 7 or 8 or only separated my 2/10ths, and the entire field (besides the bottom 5) were separated by 5/10ths. Pretty competitive lobby. I think even last place had a 1:38.3 or something like that. I completely surrounded on the grid by FF's. 2 RCZ's, 2 TT's, and 3 Scirocco's. What I found interesting was that I knew their cars were a good 3/10ths quicker than me on the home straight. Being that I was only 1/10th off the leader (and I never really got a tow the entire circuit), I knew I had these guys licked for at least 85% of the track. I decide to play it safe and start on Mediums, with intent of swapping out at the end of lap 8-10, depending how traffic was.
FIA intro commences, and I am once again the only rube out there with the slowest GR.4 car possible. All the usual FIA Manu suspects are represented, but my Slophy sporting its fresh Silver and Black livery is proudly representing the "toy group" in the front of the pack, amidst a sea of working breeds and thoroughbreds. Green flag flies and I spring into action. I pick up an easy spot at turn 1 as a TT goes wide, presumably not taking into account the cold tires. We file into single file, and from the looks of it, we're all on Mediums except for the pole-setter who's already checking out. For the next few laps, I don't force anything but I show a wheel at every corner just to let the Alpha-Male FF's know that they’re in for a long day even if they don't make mistakes.
Come lap 6....2nd, 3rd and 4th (me) are still all nose to tail running a super clean race. I would nip their heels at every turn in the infield......start in the tow down the home stretch....only to lose it and be gapped by almost a second by the time we got to the
Senna Esses (once again, refer to the handy track guide provided). I swear, this Megane Trophy might as well have a boat anchor attached to it every time it goes down a straight!!
Middle of lap 7, their tires are noticeably starting to go off. I slip under an RCZ as he goes wide at
Pinheirinho and into 3rd. With the second place TT just 1/10ths ahead, I catch up to him quickly and show him a wheel at
Bico de Pato. I back out of the move with no contact but the damage is done.
I'M IN HIS HEAD. Inevitably, he outbreaks himself as I'm showing him a nose coming into
Juncao. His worn tires betrays him and he goes wide. He starts to mount the easiest of comebacks down the home straight as my Slophy throws out its boat anchor once again, but he decides at the very last second to duck into the pits and change tires. Idk....maybe he thought I was on softs the whole time.
At any rate, I'm now in second and the leader has long checked out, but looking at the time splits, he's losing a lot of time. Him and his RCZ come in at the end of lap 8. At the end of lap 9, I can see in the upper left corner of my screen, that the rest of the field behind me is coming in for tires. I decide to stay out on my mediums till the end of lap 10.....mainly because I have clean air for days and my lap times haven't really dropped off at all. I also surmised that if the leader pitted at lap 8
on mediums, he'll be a sitting duck by lap 15-16 on softs, and I'll be at full charge.
I exit the pits to start lap 11, but only come out in 4th. I barely miss coming back out in 2nd by about 1/2 second as the TT and other RCZ come speeding past me as I exit. I hoped that I we would either work together and gain some ground on the leader who was a solid 12 seconds ahead of us judging by his position on the track map. At worst I hoped that I would only have to tussle with them for a lap or so. Well, Lady Luck was on my side and the BEST CASE scenario happened!! They both out-braked themselves going into
Descida do Lago and go wide..... I slip under them easily and they both get 1 second penalties to boot!! With them firmly in my rearview mirror, its time to focus all of my attention ahead of me and start pounding out laps. I patently watch the upper left hand corner of my screen as the time splits between me and the leader begin to narrow.
By lap 15 he's 6 seconds ahead.
By lap 16 he's 5 seconds ahead
Lap 17, he's 3 seconds ahead and in sight.
Final lap I'm 1 second off him and charging hard. I'm showing him a wheel at every corner through the infield, but he's defending superbly. Coming out of
Juncao, I'm right on his bumper but I know its over. But the time we get to the checkers, I'm almost out of slipstream range. Goddamn Slophy!!!! Oh well, it was a fun race.
SLOT 4, DOOR 15, QUALIFIED 6TH
I was a little perturbed by what I was seeing throughout this qualifying session. Everybody was just camping out on the out lap, waiting to jump in and catch a tow to start the flying lap. These idiots have been watching too much youtube. Catching the slip is
probably mandatory for the top split lobbies. But here in the lowly B's, clean air is waaaaaaay more important. Inevitably people made mistakes, and before you know it, dudes are in front of me fighting for positions like we're in a race and holding us all up. My first lap was junk. And unfortunately I decided to barge-pass a couple guys in the beginning of our second flying lap. I felt bad for doing it, but I wasn't about to let these idiots ruin my qualifying lap again. Eventually I catch up to another pair battling through the second half of the infield. They held me up a good half a second, but luckily I was able to recoup a couple 10ths back with a nice tow down the entire back straight. Qualified 6th with a 1:37.9. P1-5 were separated all by 1/10th....but a full 4/10ths ahead of me. No biggie. As I continued to look at the qualifying results, I saw that once again my Boat Anchor was surrounded by FF's. All the way to P-9 was FF's! After that it was the usual suspects of power cars. There was actually only two other 'handling" cars in the field. A Porsche and an NSX, both bringing up the rear.
FIA intro begins, my Trophy suited in its intimidating "Silver and Black" livery is bouncing off the limiter as the guy with the "steady cam" walks by my rig. I cock my front wheels hard left for good measure. Between my livery, the high RPM shriek and the intimidating stance of my Megane, these jokers up front know I mean business. And if they don't...they will soon. For I have an ace up my sleeve. Despite my starting position outside of the top 5, or top 3 for that matter.....
I'M STARTING ON SOFTS!!
I learned a lot from my previous 2 races that morning. Both of the things I really
already knew, but I didn't realized how pronounced they would be in a high tire multiplier like this race...
1.) The FF car's tires were going to
die of death even quicker than they normally would. And....
2.) As long as I'm not trying to set a
purple time every single lap, the multipliers aren't going to really affect the Slophy all that much. Sure...just about every single car in the field is going to gap me down the home straight, but it won't matter. They'll chew through their tires just trying to fend me off in every corner. Or if they're smart, they'll let me by. But that won't matter either because even if they let me by, they'll never catch me. I'll be in 7/8's FULL CHARGE MODE the entire race. And their tires will still get shredded anyways.
The strategy was risky from this far back in a fairly competitive lobby..... but doable. It hinged on a couple things. First, I needed to make passes and get up to P-3 by the end of lap 2 or 3. A little luck in that regards would help too. Secondly, once I got up a few spots, I just needed to concentrate on hitting consistent lap times in the mid .38's - low/mid 39's. Third, I needed to do it for 10 laps at least. In order for this strategy to work from this far back, I needed to do an
extreme overcut and stay out on the softs as long as I could.
Coincidentally, I was hot lapping about on Interlagos a couple weeks ago.....before I was even testing Manu's for this season. On a whim I decided to take out the TT to see if I still had it. I hated it. Despite its straight line speed, the damn thing handled like a dump truck in the twisties, and I really had to be absolutely perfect in the infield to spin consistent lap times. The same held true no matter what tire I used. Mediums, Softs, Super Softs...... didn't matter. Last week when I was testing cars for Manu's, I jumped in the slophy to use as my baseline against all the cars I tested (fwiw, Interlagos is THE PERFECT TRACK to do testing for cars..... absolute perfect combination of different kind of corners, elevation changes, a long straight...its just a great track).
Right away I was as fast with the Slophy on Mediums that I was with the TT on super softs. Within a few laps I was a couple 10ths quicker. I didn't even bother testing the Megane on softs.
..........Annnnnnyyyywaaays. Green flag flies and off we go. I go for a move going into the Esses but back out quickly. Not only do I not want to punt anyone, but the risk of getting a stupid 2 second penalty will completely ruin this strategy. We all file in single file, but I start hounding them right away showing a wheel at each corner. Going into the second half on the infield and P-1 is already pulling a gap.
He must be on softs. P-2 goes for a stupid-azz move exiting
Mergulho and goes spinning off into the weeds. Easy spot gained for all of us and I absolutely nail the exit out of
Juncao and I'm firmly in the tow of a 3 car train going down the home straight. I once again start to go for the move at turn 1 but once again back out.... this time because the RCZ is going for the same thing...so I figured I'd let him do the dirty work for me. He backs out at the last minute, and I once again absolutely hammer the exit coming out of the esses now that my softs are up to temp. We go down
Reta Oposta nose to tail and I have it in my mind that I'm going for it at the end of the straight into turn 4. The RCZ cuts left out of the slip well before the breaking zone. Already cutting left at the same time, I cut a little further left of him firmly setting up for an inside pass if its open..... it will be.
This is where people need to be aware of the cars around them and what they are capable of. They should've been aware that a Megane Trophy will outbreak their FF cars 11 out of 10 times all things being equal. They should also know that if said car is also on softs, I'll be able to outbreak them by a good 10-15 yards..... easily. Both cars take their normal braking point side by side going into turn 4. Meanwhile I'm maybe a car back on the inside line, and I go HARD on the breaks well after them. I don't know which view they were using and/or if they had their radars turned on, but it was as clear as day that I had the inside line by at least 1/2 a car length going into the apex. The RCZ goes into me, bounces off and collects the TT with him as they both careen wide. I get a 2-fer' and the incident gets blamed on me in the post race chat. Whatever. Be more aware next time and protect the inside if you have someone that close in your slip.
Firmly in P-3, I need to start getting to work on P-2 who had gapped me by almost 2 seconds from the RCZ, TT and myself fighting in the beginning of the lap. By
Bico de Pato I'm up his tail pipe and I start racing him aggressively, but fairly. I know I need to get by quick but he's being clean and so am I, so I figured what the hell. I get a tow most the way down the straight before I eventually lose it..... but I'm back on him by the time we exit the Esses and head on down to
Reta Oposta and turn 4 beyond it. I once again go for the inside move at turn 4, and am pleasantly surprised as he doesn't even
try to defend it. Either he knew I was on softs and figured its not worth losing the time to the leader..... or he figured that I was an idiot who was wasting my tires. At this point, the jury was still out on the latter.
Lap 3-7 there isn't much to report. I settled into the groove and continued to put time between myself and the people behind me, while slowly chipping away at the TT in front of me also on softs. By the end of 7 his tires are starting to go judging by our time splits, but he manages to keep it together for another lap, pitting at the end of lap 8 probably 6 seconds ahead of me. With nothing but clean air in front of me, I continue to tick off laps, arc-ing wide into the apexes and hammering the throttle on the way out. Thankfully for me, the Slophy might a well have lead in the rims when the car gets on a straight, but at least the tires wear like iron!! I keep a wary eye on my lap times...looking for them to go north of 1:39.5. But it never happens. I go in at the end of 12 for my mediums. 1/2 of my strategy down, second half to go.
I exit the pits in second by about the same gap we had when he went in and now where getting into the championship rounds of this bout. With him on 5 lap old mediums and me on fresh mediums, I start to gain on him by about 1 second a lap. With 5 laps to go, and him presumably seeing exactly what I'm seeing with the dwindling time splits.... we both know its all going to come down to the wire provided neither of us makes a mistake. The TT manages his wearing tires very well while taking full advantage of his straight line speed, but I'm still able to get within a second of him at the start of the last lap. As soon as we get to the infield I get on his bumper immediately but he defends me superbly, forcing me to take the long way around if I want to pass him. By the exit of the final 90 degree left hander I'm on his bumper. By the time we get to the checkers I'm almost 7/10ths back, boat anchor behind me tearing up the tarmac as it mercilessly gets dragged along hahaha!!
Post race we congratulate and thank each other for the clean race. 5 seconds later I get called out for being dirty. I think of telling them to learn how to protect the inside, but decide to exit stage left.
FINAL EMA SLOT, Gate 9, qualified 3rd.
Despite the same retards camping out on the out lap looking for a tow, I was able to avoid all of it and clocked a 1:37.4 on my first flying lap. Come second lap I was on an absolute heater...on pace to bust into the 1:36's but alas, I was able to screw that up all by myself when I got a little overzealous with the cowbell on the exit of
Bico de Pato. I could have been a dick and continued on the racing line after I fished my car out of the grass, ruining other people's qualifying lap. But I decided to do the right thing and steer clear of the main line. Plus I knew my 1:37.4 was going to put me way up regardless in this B/S lobby.
I decided to play safe and start with the mediums. Just as the green flag flew, I heard the familiar
"Putschhhhh" of air leaving the chambers deploying the spring brakes. I then heard the low murmer of an idling diesel motor. I knew exactly who it was and what they had. Ifrantically exited the game, took my 1000 point DR hit and ran out the front door like a fat kid chasing the ice cream truck. My new toy had arrived!!
I then went on a garage rampage for the next 5 hours as I started the long process of FINALLY setting up my garage. I had all intent of logging onto my main and doing the last slot of the N/A region, but I lost track of time. Shame because I wanted to see how well I fared in the "A" lobbies. Plus my Manu on that account is Ferrari and I know that car would be a killer on this combo. Curious I still went on eventually and hot lapped around Interlagos to see how my times were. In no time I was down to the mid 1:36's. What could have been....
If you made it this far, thanks for reading!!