Britain - The Official Thread

[Touring Mars]

(I got the divorce one wrong and the Muslims and children one right)!

Other way around for me. The divorce one was pretty easy for me, considering Dad had "1857" tattooed on his knuckles...

"Complete this sentence: Nice to see you... [blank]"

Or, "I've never seen a 'blank' as big as that before!"

Also, couples wishing to obtain UK citizenship should be required to throw 101 or higher in 6 darts.

 

[Liquid]

Also, couples wishing to obtain UK citizenship should be required to throw 101 or higher in 6 darts.

I am being deported then.

Love darts, but can't play it for toffee.

 

[Famine]

Or "I'm playing all the right notes..."

Also, here's the manifesto for the only openly corrupt candidate for Mayor of London.

 

[Alex.]

11/24


Never liked this country anyway.

 

[Liquid]

Also, here's the manifesto for the only openly corrupt candidate for Mayor of London.

Honesty in politics. That's what we want.

 

[dhandeh]

Quick straw poll, do you consider yourself English, Scottish, Welsh etc or British? I consider myself English and never consider the option of British. Quite often in a form I will select other then add English, if British is the only option that covers the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland.
I have no more affection for any other of the home countries, than say Mexico or Angola.

 

[Famine]

Honesty in politics. That's what we want.

Pity it's a spoof, really.

Quick straw poll, do you consider yourself English, Scottish, Welsh etc or British? I consider myself English and never consider the option of British. Quite often in a form I will select other then add English, if British is the only option that covers the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland.

Everything except Scottish. Moreover, I consider myself Yorkshire, but English, Welsh and British all suffice in a bind.

 

[dhandeh]

Being from Hampshire, I don't even think that I'm Hampshire, but that probably comes from 'them' down the road being in the same county. Same as being English, I don't even think about being British, it sort of dawns on me 'I suppose I am British', when that is the only available option with no possible alternative.

 

[Liquid]

Quick straw poll, do you consider yourself English, Scottish, Welsh etc or British? I consider myself English and never consider the option of British. Quite often in a form I will select other then add English, if British is the only option that covers the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland.
I have no more affection for any other of the home countries, than say Mexico or Angola.

Welsh. In lieu of Welsh, Irish. That was what my dad entered on the cocked-up 2001 census.

 

[lbsf1]

Unless one of the questions is:

"Complete this sentence: Nice to see you... [blank]"

...then it's not a proper citizenship test.

The correct british answer to that is, its nice to see you, to see you nice


I finished the test in 3 mins and got 9/24. Most of the questions were pointless. You either knew them at first glance or not atall. One of the ones that I got was, what year did women get the ability to divorce their husbands, and then there were 4 dates all in the late 1800's, even my history teacher wouldn't know that.

Pointless, completely pointless, if it wasn't for eu constrictions we should go to australia esque imigration. That my opinion anyway.

 

[Ross]

6/24. Beat that.

4/24
Beat that

I am 13 though so I don't know much about the Government and work questions.

 

[PeterJB]

4/24
Beat that

I am 13 though so I don't know much about the Government and work questions.

Ditto.

Quick straw poll, do you consider yourself English, Scottish, Welsh etc or British? I consider myself English and never consider the option of British. Quite often in a form I will select other then add English, if British is the only option that covers the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland.
I have no more affection for any other of the home countries, than say Mexico or Angola.

I consider myself British. I am a citizen of the sovereign state of the United Kingdom, which just happens to be made up the countries of England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. I consider the sovereign state I reside in to define my nationality. I don't like using terms like English because I feel it can divide people, when really we are all as one. But I don't mind using it when talking about one's ethnic or ancestral history.

 

[ExigeEvan]

I consider my self Welsh, and then British. I was born in Kent but to Welsh parents and was raised in Wales. I've also represented Wales in two different sports, it's important to pick your niche right.

Anyone want to see if they are properly British?

http://www.ukcitizenshiptest.co.uk/

I got a rather rubbish 14/24 - that's a fail

Come across these questions quite a few times, what with playing a sport dominated by ex-convicts. It's hilarious as they come out of it with a better knowledge than most the "Brits".

 

[TopGearFTW]

My history teacher showed my class that test one day to show how pointless it was just to gain citizenship to this country. As a class (6 of us) we got maybe 3 correct.

I consider myself English, I don't like the term British for some reason, I can't explain why.
Although, the day Yorkshire gains independence...

So, we had snow today for some reason, I didn't get chance to watch any news today, so were they labelling it "The Big Freeze OMFG" like they did with that light sprinkling in January?

When I say snow, I mean that it snowed for maybe an hour, then immediately turned to sludge. Still thats usually enough to find your neighbour coming home with 33 pints of milk and half the stock of Warburton's.

 

[Wenders]

4/24
Beat that

I am 13 though so I don't know much about the Government and work questions.

I got 4/24 and I am not Bristish, English, Irish or Welsh and I don't live in the UK

I am wondering why they give you 45 minutes for the test though. I could googled the answers and still got it done in less than that.

 

[Adamgp]

Anyone want to see if they are properly British?

http://www.ukcitizenshiptest.co.uk/

I got a rather rubbish 14/24 - that's a fail

11/24.

Not bad for someone from across the pond.

 

[BobK]

10 of 24. I'm trying to decide if that's good or bad.

 

[Liquid]

Better than some of us with British passports.

 

[TankAss95]

Quick straw poll, do you consider yourself English, Scottish, Welsh etc or British? I consider myself English and never consider the option of British. Quite often in a form I will select other then add English, if British is the only option that covers the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland.
I have no more affection for any other of the home countries, than say Mexico or Angola.

As far as I know I'm pretty much entirely Scottish, so I would consider myself that. In the same way, I don't really consider any of the home countries to be my own. I'd really like independence personally.

 

[Famine]

So, we had snow today for some reason, I didn't get chance to watch any news today, so were they labelling it "The Big Freeze OMFG" like they did with that light sprinkling in January?

Of course not. It's only "The Big Freeze" if it falls on the south-east or the M4 corridor - where all the people who work for the national newspapers and TV news channels live.

 

[ExigeEvan]

Of course not. It's only "The Big Freeze" if it falls on the south-east or the M4 corridor - where all the people who work for the national newspapers and TV news channels live.

But that could change with BBC News moving to Manchester

 

[Liquid]

Same with a nationwide regional drought. It almost only ever happens in the home counties or the south east generally, but somehow it's a 'national' crisis.

Plus one for Welsh rain: All those lovely reservoirs.

 

[ExigeEvan]

Same with a nationwide regional drought. It almost only ever happens in the home counties or the south east generally, but somehow it's a 'national' crisis.

Plus one for Welsh rain: All those lovely reservoirs.

I was up Pen-y-Fan a week or so ago and Beacons Reservoir certainly wasn't low!

 

[daan]

13/24 in the British test but, like Famine says, I don't see why knowing the answer to them makes you more British.

And I consider myself Scottish, then British.

I was up Pen-y-Fan

ooo-er missus!

If Scotland does become independent, our biggest export won't be oil, it'll be water! We've got loads of the stuff. And it's all lovely and clean unlike the stuff you get in England which just seems to fill your kettles with 🤬

 

[Liquid]

I was up Pen-y-Fan

ooo-er missus!

I'd pen her fan.

(Take note of the pronunciation!)

---

I was expecting questions on Gladstone, Aethelstan and Cromwell on the citizenship test. Then again, I don't know many people who can name a battle of the English Civil War anyway, so I guess it wouldn't have made much difference.

If Scotland does become independent, our biggest export won't be oil, it'll be water! We've got loads of the stuff. And it's all lovely and clean unlike the stuff you get in England which just seems to fill your kettles with...

That, I believe, is hard water. Wales and Scotland have soft water. Limescale free! Except I'm so close to the English border that my kettle is also all calciumed up.

 

[PeterJB]

My water is awful. It tastes awful, and is often cloudy for the first couple of seconds out of the tap. Lathers the kettle in lime scale.

 

[daan]

Oh, and re the question about free prescriptions, in Scotland prescriptions are free for everyone, so the options and the answer were wrong.

 

[Liquid]

Oh, and re the question about free prescriptions, in Scotland prescriptions are free for everyone, so the options and the answer were wrong.

NHS ones are free in Wales too.

Always Englandcentric...

 

[PeterJB]

NHS ones are free in Wales too.

Always Englandcentric...

Yeah, that's very popular here...

 

[daan]

I'm not sure all prescriptions should be free. It must put quite a large burden on Scottish/Welsh healthcare budgets. My view is that if you are given a prescription to take for a week/fortnight until what you have is better, then you should pay for it. If you have to take a precription for the rest of your life, then that should be free.