While trying to get some Trigonometry HW done. I though about what happen to day that my brother mentioned to me " that I don't do my hw". I always wonder from time to time what I am doing with my life? I would like to learn the subject not just pass it. I envy several members because they have a interest in Engineering while I search for mine. Maybe its not for me, maybe it is. I will never know till I try right? On the side of that I try to juggle a social life other wise I would disappear from my friends. My life hasn't gotten any better within a year or so. If I did stand up for something, I would only get shot down and when I wanted something, I didn't want it.
This year, I try to keep my words as promises though that it seems that half of it is ******** at age 20, I do not want my current job as a career or the simple 5 to 9 job everyday. It is boring, so *****dull at times. I envy others that they get to do what they want. I might stroll to the park to get some time to think about this. I am tired of telling my friend that I like all this and I doubt that she even cares(she would hardly talk to me was a big wack on the face ). Just maybe, I have to do things alone.
Man, on top of that. Slowly my brother and his family has taken over my life. I am the babysitter for him, I am the gopher for him, I am the designated Driver for him. Last semester, I skipped school to drive him to work once. My dad is in the Philippines and he is coming back soon and no one wants to live with him. maybe I am dwelling now and this has become a rant than a confession.
