Funny/Strange News Stories

UKMikey
I work at the BBC so whatever the reason, I hope it's not spreading.
Click to expand...

....💡

Are you perchance personally acquainted with the chap who was caught viewing a decidedly less-than-family-friendly material during a certain 10 o'clock news bulletin? If so, do tell what that naughty material was called. For research purposes, of course. :dopey:
 
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Remember when Walkers allowed people to upload pictures of themselves onto a piece of card Gary Lineker was holding and then ill-advisedly automatically Tweeted them, leading to Walkers Tweeting pictures of Lineker holding pictures of murderers, rapists and paedophiles?

The National Lottery doesn't...

lottery5.jpg
 
Famine
Remember when Walkers allowed people to upload pictures of themselves onto a piece of card Gary Lineker was holding and then ill-advisedly automatically Tweeted them, leading to Walkers Tweeting pictures of Lineker holding pictures of murderers, rapists and paedophiles?

The National Lottery doesn't...

lottery5.jpg
​
Click to expand...
Disgraceful - Savile only has one L :irked:
 
Just laughed out loud at a 'dumb criminal' story on the Scottish evening news tonight...

A bank robber has been busted after spending some of the stolen cash on a luxury holiday which he booked at a travel agent in England, and paid £1700 in cash... in Scottish bank notes. Anyone who has ever tried to spend a Scottish £20 note anywhere in England will appreciate how daft a move this was..,
 
 
It doesn't get funnier (you'd hope) than the Top Ten Fifteen Funniest Jokes From Edinburgh. And here they are:

1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change" - Ken Cheng

2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle

3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle

4. "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her" - Lew Fitz

5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field

6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant" - Mark Simmons

7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." - Jimeoin

8. "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house" - Ed Byrne

9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine" - Olaf Falafel

10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' - Alasdair Beckett-King

11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes

12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff

13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it" - Phil Wang

14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark" - Adam Hess

15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act" - Tim Vine
 
TenEightyOne
It doesn't get funnier (you'd hope) than the Top Ten Fifteen Funniest Jokes From Edinburgh. And here they are:

1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change" - Ken Cheng

2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle

3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle

4. "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her" - Lew Fitz

5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field

6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant" - Mark Simmons

7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." - Jimeoin

8. "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house" - Ed Byrne

9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine" - Olaf Falafel

10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' - Alasdair Beckett-King

11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes

12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff

13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it" - Phil Wang

14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark" - Adam Hess

15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act" - Tim Vine
Click to expand...

....Two things I noticed:

1. I'd appreciate it if you provide the source.

2. How can a list of fifteen be a Top Ten, though? :boggled:
 
TenEightyOne
It doesn't get funnier (you'd hope) than the Top Ten Fifteen Funniest Jokes From Edinburgh
Click to expand...
JKgo
How can a list of fifteen be a Top Ten, though? :boggled:
Click to expand...

You're lucky it wasn't the Top Ten Eighty One jokes or we'd be here all day reading them.

We've certainly come a long way from the days when Russ Abbot was a five time winner of the TV Times "Funniest Man On Television" award.
 
BobK
It's a list of fifteen jokes. There are (at least) nine other such lists.
Click to expand...

Quite, but in this case (as @JKgo noted) I should have provided the source - this is the annual list of winners in the Funniest Jokes from the Edinburgh Festival competition.
JKgo
2. How can a list of fifteen be a Top Ten, though? :boggled:
Click to expand...

I really don't know. I guess I've read far too many "Top Ten You Won't Believe Number Seven" clickbait headlines... definitely not a Top Ten moment in any sense ;)
 
TenEightyOne
Quite, but in this case (as @JKgo noted) I should have provided the source - this is the annual list of winners in the Funniest Jokes from the Edinburgh Festival competition.


I really don't know. I guess I've read far too many "Top Ten You Won't Believe Number Seven" clickbait headlines... definitely not a Top Ten moment in any sense ;)
Click to expand...

...From the link provided (may not be the same for other clickers, though...):

Rats chase Nigerian President out of his office. BBC.

Mr. Buhari has health issues, goes overseas to get treatment, and when he returns from the trip, he finds his Presidential Office literally damaged by rats. Not political rats, no, but real, live rodents.
 

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