Funny/Strange News Stories

[UKMikey]

This has a better twist than any M. Night Shyamalan film.

I can't get past the digital paywall. It looks like this is a summary of the story.

https://ultimateclassicrock.com/david-lee-roth-phone-number/

 

[Spacegoat]

In the history of the world. Has anyone or anything deserved retirement more? You've earned it mate.



Also. talk about living the dream.

 

[Touring Mars]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/gwyneths-vagina-scented-candle-burning-issue-women/

Presented without comment...

 

[baldgye]

Goop is like the new age version of Scientology, how it still exists I’ll never understand

 

[TexRex]

Goop is like the new age version of Scientology, how it still exists I’ll never understand

Once a year, women go completely crazy for about 365 days.

 

[UKMikey]

For once I'm glad I'm the wrong side of a news site paywall.

 

[TenEightyOne]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/gwyneths-vagina-scented-candle-burning-issue-women/

Presented without comment...

"This smells like my vagina".

Sorry Gwyneth, it's a no from me.

 

[Rallywagon]

Not gonna lie. I am mildly intrigued. I imagine it's not going to smell like a vagina, just the roses she thinks hers smells like.

 

[Touring Mars]

James Corden could put one in his pocket so he wouldn’t just act like a fanny, he could smell like one too...

 

[TexRex]

James Corden could put one in his pocket so he wouldn’t just act like a fanny, he could smell like one too...

Fanny, eh...

💡

 

[TenEightyOne]

Sugar-daddy-dot-com, Conservative MP, details are unclear right now but it's going to end up funny, hopefully. BBC.

 

[TenEightyOne]

A very British riot at the snooker:

 

[UKMikey]

 

[TenEightyOne]

Facebook accidentally translates Chinese President's name as "Mr. ********".

BBC.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Thai officials accidentally auction £20,000 of drugs wrapped in a car. Not a High-undai though, that would have been great.

 

[JKgo]

...A couple of Vietnamese men "taking a shower" while riding on a bike fined for traffic violation. Source. Includes video footage of the incident.

They got fined a grand total of Vietnamese Dong 1.8 million, which sounds huge, but... it only amounts to US $77....

 

[TVR27]

'Extremely intoxicated' man claims cheeseburger was stolen from hotel nightstand, calls police

 

[TenEightyOne]

This is from last year, but probably deserves a place here, I don't think we've had it already?

Man donates mother's body to Alzheimer's research organisation, but she's sold on to the military for blast testing.

 

[TexRex]

Human body subjected to explosive blast gets blowed-up. Who knew? It's awful that the family's wishes were disregarded, but this is vital information.

...

Trump border wall section knocked over...by wind.

A section of Donald Trump’s much-vaunted border wall between the United States and Mexico has blown over onto the Mexican side in high winds, US border patrol officers have been reported as saying.

The steel panels, more than 30ft (nine metres) high, began to lean at a sharp angle on the border between the Californian town of Calexico and Mexicali in Mexico amid gusts on Wednesday.

The section of wall was under construction at the time, with concrete anchors being put in place. But the strong winds blew the panels over onto the Mexican side of the border before the concrete had cured, according to reports and photographs.

 

[Spacegoat]

The thing that makes this story humorous. The guy's name, Stephen John Swindle.

 

[Northstar]

The uprising has begun, I for one welcome our squirrel overlords!

https://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2020/02/11/squirrel-blamed-for-benton-county-power-outage/

 

[TexRex]

"We don't know how it happened, but we're pretty sure it's the squirrel's fault."

 

[Roo]

Girl Scouts in Chicago come up with a brilliant sales strategy: sell cookies outside a weed store.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Coranavirus has, erm, wiped out the supply of toilet rolls in Hong Kong... and some of the last supplies have been taken in an armed heist.

 

[UKMikey]

Coranavirus has, erm, wiped out the supply of toilet rolls in Hong Kong... and some of the last supplies have been taken in an armed heist.

Charmin'!

 

[TenEightyOne]

Today we learnt that in Leeds orders of Class A drugs arrive more quickly than takeaways.

 

[Joey D]

Most states are trying to decriminalize drugs, in Utah we're decriminalizing polygamy:

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-...olygamy-among-consenting-adults-idUSKBN20C2HF

#justutahthings

 

[Danoff]

Most states are trying to decriminalize drugs, in Utah we're decriminalizing polygamy:

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-...olygamy-among-consenting-adults-idUSKBN20C2HF

#justutahthings

I mean you've got to go after the most important things first... and obviously.... this is it?

 

[Touring Mars]

Today we learnt that in Leeds orders of Class A drugs arrive more quickly than takeaways.

My local Papa John's should hire some drug dealers to deliver their pizzas... it might also make their sides menu a bit more interesting.

 

[UKMikey]

^And encourage repeat orders.

Meanwhile, here is a follow through, erm, follow up on your previous story:

https://amp.scmp.com/news/hong-kong...us-hong-kong-police-roll-third-suspect-toilet