Funny/Strange News Stories

[Carbonox]

Jackie Lambie, the Original Bogan Senator, has decided to form her own political party, to be known as the Jackie Lambie Network, or JLN. To my mind, "JLN" sounds like the initials of a terrorist group, which is ironic because Lambie is a vehement critic of Islamic extremism, particularly sharia law. In fact, she's so opposed to it that she wants to amend the Constitution to say that Australia rejects it ... even though she has no idea what it is.

In what way is that as bad as you make it sound like?

 

[FoolKiller]

Jackie Lambie, the Original Bogan Senator, has decided to form her own political party, to be known as the Jackie Lambie Network, or JLN. To my mind, "JLN" sounds like the initials of a terrorist group, which is ironic because Lambie is a vehement critic of Islamic extremism, particularly sharia law. In fact, she's so opposed to it that she wants to amend the Constitution to say that Australia rejects it ... even though she has no idea what it is.

Seeing as how the US has a news network known as HLN (CNN Headline News, aka the Hysterical Ladies Network), JLN sounds exactly like a TV network to me.

 

[Pupik]

In what way is that as bad as you make it sound like?

This is not the thread you were looking for.

 

[gnomefromnome]

The Anchorage Police Department announced Friday that it will target drivers high on marijuana through the weekend and Monday in anticipation of the unofficial stoners’ holiday “420."

“With the recent legalization of recreational use of marijuana in the state of Alaska, police anticipate a possible increase of impaired drivers that may be celebrating the ‘420 holiday’ this year,” said APD communications director Jennifer Castro in a news release.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

In what way is that as bad as you make it sound like?

Because she has absolutely no idea what it is, but she wants to include a pledge opposed to it in our Constitution - a document that outlines the way that the nation is governed. Constitutional change is not undertaken lightly, because introducing it has all sorts of consequences for the way the country is run. That's why Lambie would be so hilarious if she wasn't so frightening - she literally has no idea what she is talking about, but wants to introduce wide-ranging change to our Constitution. She has even put forward a proposed wording to this pledge on Twitter, but it was taken down after legal minds pointed out that it would effectively make it unconstitutional to be a Muslim.

 

[Grayfox]

http://www.news.com.au/national/que...309462131?sv=3397dec4737799cf1ea564464986a3a9

Original story.
http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/...-on-womans-phone/story-fnn8dlfs-1227106382502

I feel sorry for the poor dog that was raped.

 

[Grayfox]

Russia has been taking missile building lessons from North Korea.
http://www.9news.com.au/world/2015/04/21/09/22/russian-missile-launch-fails-spectacularly

 

[TenEightyOne]

Enraged US man shoots his computer. We've all had days like that for sure.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Slightly NSFW: unconscionable sales tactics by health clinic promising relief from certain mens' problems.

 

[TenEightyOne]

This could go in either Britain - The Official Thread or here... Lollipop Man Suspended For Stopping Fire Engine (Trans: Fire Truck Stopped By Crossing Guard) - there's something splendidly British about it.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Just when you thought he couldn't get any worse than destroying Al Pacino's career by seducing him with a pair of fake boobs, or destroy Susan Sarandon's with two hours of jokes about statutory rape, Adam Sandler has finally managed to hit a new low with The Ridiculous Six, a "parody" (read: fart jokes) or The Magnificent Seven - and they haven't even started filming yet.

 

[squadops]

Where's the funny in that?

 

[Northstar]

Native Americans walk off Adam Sandler set

Why on earth would you walk onto an Adam Sandler set in the first place?

 

[squadops]

They were extras so I'd say for a quick buck or 5 minutes of fame, or to protest a hidden agenda

 

[daan]

Nothing about the dog who drove a tractor onto the motorway?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-32411621

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Where's the funny in that?

The fact that Sandler's films are so terrible that people refuse to be a part of them? The way he's trying to do a parody of The Magnificent Seven decades after its release, so the parody will be lost on his usual demographic? Or the way he seems to think that calling a Sioux character "No Bra" passes for parody?

 

[TenEightyOne]

Nothing about the dog who drove a tractor onto the motorway?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-32411621

I see that Twitter immediately exploded with "Police looking for leads" jokes.

 

[FoolKiller]

The fact that Sandler's films are so terrible that people refuse to be a part of them?

Um, he has a movie coming out this summer with Peter Dinklage and Josh Gad in it.

 

[Johnnypenso]

The Chinese government has recently banned strippers from performing at funerals:
http://www.breitbart.com/national-s...-moves-to-ban-trend-of-strippers-at-funerals/

 

[TenEightyOne]

The Chinese government has recently banned strippers from performing at funerals:
http://www.breitbart.com/national-s...-moves-to-ban-trend-of-strippers-at-funerals/
View attachment 354236

The article says that a good funeral crowd is, or so the Chinese believe, beneficial for the deceased in the afterlife. With strippers, we're told, "more people come".

 

[Blitz24]

The article says that a good funeral crowd is, or so the Chinese believe, beneficial for the deceased in the afterlife. With strippers, we're told, "more people come".

And they came for all of the right reasons, including a "Happy Ending" for the dearly departed.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

You stay classy, China.

 

[F1jocker12]

Pennsylvania woman pees on officer’s leg while scuffling with cops during arrest: authorities

Pennsylvania police officers found themselves in hot water while arresting a woman in Lancaster County.

They found themselves in pee, we should say...

 

[Johnnypenso]

British Man Brings Attention to Potholes with Penis Drawings

A British man has taken matters into his own hands, drawing penises around potholes in an effort to get them fixed -- and it's working. He goes by the name Wanksy.

"I wanted to attract attention to the pothole and make it memorable. Nothing seemed to do this better than a giant comedy phallus," the man, whose nom de guerre is a nod to street artist Banksy, told the Manchester Evening News.

 

[LeMansAid]

Stephen Hawking has told One Direction fans to pay close attention to theoretical physics because it might come up with proof of an alternative universe in which Zayn Malik is still in the band.

http://www.msn.com/en-au/entertainm...lel-one-direction/ar-BBiKLcw?ocid=mailsignout

 

[TenEightyOne]

Yellow lines cause controversy. BBC.

 

[F1jocker12]

hahahahahahahaha

Florida Man Attempts To Cash $368 Billion Check to open an 80 million sq. ft. italian restaurant.

 

[Vegard]

Couple faces prison sentence of 15 years for having sex on the beach.

 

[F1jocker12]

Couple faces prison sentence of 15 years for having sex on the beach.

I've seen this, but the story says how "a 3-year-old girl saw them"... A little messed up. They were on tape...

yeah... and this

 

[TenEightyOne]

Couple faces prison sentence of 15 years for having sex on the beach.

I don't get why that's funny... but maybe I'm just having a Grumpy Day.

@F1jocker12, that's a very old joke... not sure it was news